To Teddy,

Well everybody seems to be writing to you so I thought I would, you know because you still need to know everything.

I should probably start by saying it's three years since you passed, we had a mourning day yesterday. That means it's been a year since PJ and Charlie started writing you letters. I will tell you that I am sorry but this is the only letter I will write to you. I love you Teddy but after your death I was lost and yeah if they help then writing to you is an amazing but I'd rather remember you and help people in your name because that is what you taught me. You taught me that even the cruellest of people needs help, which leads me onto my next point.

I went to speak with your killer.

I do not know how you would feel about what I did, I know everyone but Skylar was mad at me for going. Skylar said that I needed to grieve and if talking to 'him' helped then at least it was proactive. Oh! PJ is a daddy now, weird huh? I mean I always thought you would be the first to have a child. I know I'll be the last, Taylor and I, decided we want to wait. Taylor is my girlfriend, she's a little wacky but I think you'll approve, at least I hope so because I love her. I love her so much that it hurts and I know I'd do anything for her. I really do hope you approve.

I know that our siblings have already told you much of what has been happening in our lives so I shall not bore you with details such as that, I just wanted to know one thing. If you knew you would die would you still have confronted him? Or would you have stayed hidden and tried to get everyone out. I wish you could answer because then maybe I can heal and move on with my life.

We took Toby to the high school yesterday, there is a hall dedicated to you, they called you a bright star that burned to soon which I thought was a lie. You weren't a star and you didn't burn too soon. You were an ordinary girl who chose to value someone else's life over there's. They put your picture on a poster with the words, love, live laugh. They thought it would promote people to love their lives like it's their last, like they should be expecting to die but I don't think they realise that since doing that more teenagers are dying heroically. I don't think they realise that those teenagers have families and those families are the ones left to suffer. Like ours.

I'm sorry, I know I sound angry, it's probably because I am because I don't understand why you didn't think about us when you left the world, why the hell couldn't you stay alive for us, were we not worth it? In fact, I know you won't answer it because you're dead so I'm going to go with no, that you didn't think you wanted to stay alive for us.

That doesn't mean I don't hope you're happy because I do, I hope you've found your peace in heaven because I don't think I can on earth.

I hope one day I'll be able to forgive you

Rest in peace big sister

With Love
Gabe Duncan