Tommy walked up the familiar path, the cool breeze making him shiver despite having on his leather jacket. He tipped his head up at the sky, and saw, that although it was overcast, the sun seemed determined in breaking out of the clouds hold every now and then to send rays of sunlight down at the ground below.
He finally reached the headstone that marked where his best friend was buried, and Tommy couldn't help feeling the familiar painful tug on his heart at the thought of him gone forever.
"Hey there, man," he greeted him. He kneeled down, his hand settling on the cold stone before running his fingers over the engraved epitaph on it. Over Ben's name, the dates he had lived, and below that, the inscription: "Beloved son and brother. A brave officer." He returned his hand to his side and gripped it.
"I know it's been a while. Sorry about that, you know how hectic it can get at the precinct." He swallowed over the lump in his throat. "I never stopped missing you, Ben. You're still always on my mind. I always felt like you were my better half…at least until I had to go find that in myself once you were gone. But you kept me grounded, while I reminded you that it was okay to live a little. I miss that."
Tommy looked up at the sky to try to keep himself from crying. After a few minutes, he looked back at the headstone. "Since you've been gone, it's taken awhile to restore that balance we provided for each other. I've had to learn to live without you, and even though it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, I want you to know that I've managed to. I'm doing good.
"I know I used to come here angry all the time, cursing at everything, including you. I was a complete wreck when you were gone. I threw myself into my work. I thought I'd feel better once I brought your killer to justice, but when I did, I still felt empty inside. Of course, you knew that would happen, didn't you? You knew it wouldn't make anything better since you'd still be gone, huh?
"Sometimes I still feel like there's a hole inside of me, but there's one person that doesn't make me feel so empty anymore, fulfilled even. Like, as painful as life can be, it can still contain so much beauty, but again you knew that, didn't you? You're watching me up there and you're probably laughing at all of my screw-ups, and probably cheering me on every now and then too. Sometimes, when I'm unsure, I'll hear your voice in my head, guiding me when I need it. You always did try to point me in the right direction, and you're still doing it. Thank you for that.
"I hadn't really voiced it aloud to you, but the thing is, at first I felt like I was betraying you. After all you did get to her first. Maybe if I had been the one to reach her on that dancefloor first, I would be the one six feet under and you would be the one here talking to my headstone, but there's no way to ever know that for sure.
"It took me a long time to accept that even though you were gone, I could still be happy. And she and I—we're helping each other out. We've been helping each other out. She's been through so much, but life has turned around for her, and I'm so proud of everything that she's accomplished. We did long distance for a few years while she was away at school, and it was difficult, but we made it work. Now, she just graduated from MIT with honors. It was all so worth it when I got to see her walk that stage and receive her degree, man. Sophia and George cried and I couldn't stop hugging her.
"She also received a bunch of job offers, but she and George are teaming up to legally start a site to search and find missing people. Their goal is to find people—specifically minors in a week. It's ambitious, but with their skills, I know they'll do great things. They'll be working closely with us at Cyber Crimes. That way they get legal access to all of our files. Catherine figured if she didn't agree, then they'd be hacking into our files to get them anyway. This way, it helps everyone. You know, for all of Lindy's distrust of cops at first, she's practically one herself." Tommy let out a chuckle at the irony of it. Even Lindy, he was sure, had been surprised at this little twist of fate life had brought her.
Tommy sat down on the grass, his long legs in front of him.
"She and Sara are closer than ever. You know how it went. After they both started college they'd talk or facetime every day, they still do. It's really nice to see, considering how long they went without knowing anything about one another. Sara talks about how hard nursing school is and Lindy would talk about her computer science and coding classes. Lindy's ecstatic because Sara told her that once she's done with school, she and her husband Dylan, are making their way back to New York, so they'll be seeing more of each other…maybe sooner rather than later actually."
Tommy swallowed hard, puling at some blades of grass. "I didn't really come here to update you though." He stared hard at Ben's engraved name. "The reason I'm here today is because I'd like to tell you something, rather than just have you watch what it unfold." He paused, a little nervous. "I'm going to ask Lindy to marry me.
"I love her, Ben. She makes me so happy, and it's crazy for me to think that at one point in my life I wouldn't even admit it to myself. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I know that you always wanted me to find my happiness. And even though life put her in your path first, I promise you that I will take care of her. I'd do anything for her, Ben, and I know you've seen that. She makes me a better person, while at the same time driving me completely crazy, and I love that. I love that she keeps me on my toes. I love how she gets so completely in the zone when she codes that she can't even hear me. I love how loyal she is to those lucky enough to earn her trust. I love that even if I've had the worst day ever, just hearing her voice makes me feel better. I love everything about her. She feels like home to me and I want to marry her. Before I wouldn't have thought so, but I truly believe now that you would be happy for us. I just wish there was a way for me to know for sure or that you could tell me that you approve."
After a while, Tommy stood and brushed himself off. "Anyways, man, I'll be around to see you more often. I won't be a stranger." He patted his best friend's headstone one more time. "Bye, Ben." He turned and took a few steps down the path, his mind already heading down it toward his car, when he heard a shrill chirp. He looked back and noticed a bird perched atop Ben's headstone. It chirped again. Tommy furrowed his brows in confusion. That's weird. He took another half step down the path when the bird chirped louder. Tommy raised his eyebrows in surprise. It was like the bird was trying to get his attention.
He walked back towards Ben's resting place, but the bird remained where it was despite Tommy's close proximity. It stared right at him, tilted its head, and chirped shrilly, its song carrying over the graveyard. Tommy's heart was beating wildly in his chest. "Ben?" he whispered, and immediately felt like an idiot.
The bird chirped in response and Tommy's eyes widened in surprise. Tommy's face broke into a wide grin. Seeming to notice it, the bird flew closer so that it was almost touching his foot. Either this was the most trusting bird on the planet or…
He couldn't finish the thought.
Before Tommy could say anything else the bird flapped its wings, chirped once more, and took off into the trees. Tommy stared after it, his mind finally snapping out of its daze, and ran in the direction the bird had gone. He looked left and right, but he could no longer see it. He was alone once again.
"Thank you, Ben."
X
"So, where are you taking her, Tommy? Hmm?"
"Don't you have a date to get ready for too?" Tommy asked pointedly, hoping Sophia would take the hint and leave him alone. He was nervous enough as it was.
But this was Sophia, and she was relentless when she wanted to be.
"Tommy." Sophia lowered her voice, darting a glance in the direction of Lindy's room where she knew her friend was still getting ready for her surprise date with her boyfriend. "I already know what you're planning."
Tommy sank down onto the sofa, irritated. Damn it. Sophia was Yeager's girlfriend, but he had explicitly told him not to tell her. He had wanted to limit the number of people who knew about the surprise. He'd only told Ben—who couldn't tell anyone, and Yeager, and that had been necessary. He hadn't bothered to tell George since he was sure he wouldn't be able to keep a secret like this to himself, especially since it involved his best friend.
"Relax," Sophia said, placing a placating hand on his shoulder. "Yeager didn't tell me anything, I figured it out. I mean, there's not much left to the imagination when you see two men walking out of a jewelry store together, and you're the one with a bag in hand, and the other is in a serious relationship with me." She raised an eyebrow at him, a devilish smile on her face. "Unless you guys went in there to buy matching bracelets for each other, then I'm pretty sure you bought a ring for Lindy."
Tommy glanced over at Lindy's door where he could still hear shuffling noises coming from inside. Why did women take so long to get ready? Lindy was already gorgeous. He wasn't sure what else she could do to add onto that.
Tommy looked Sophia dead in the eye. "Maybe Yeager and I did get matching bracelets."
"And maybe that bulge in your jacket pocket isn't in the exact same size and shape as an engagement ring box."
"Damnit, Sophia," he muttered under his breath, shifting the small box in his pocket so it wouldn't be noticeable. When he looked back at her, she was grinning wickedly. "All right, yes. It's what you think it is."
Sophia pressed her lips hard together to keep from squealing, though that didn't stop her from making a happy dance. Tommy rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but grin at his friend's heartfelt enthusiasm. She abruptly stopped dancing and placed a hand on her waist. "Took you long enough."
Tommy rubbed his temples. He was starting to get a headache. "Sophia," he hissed. "I'm really glad you're happy about this, but I don't want to keep talking about this right now. I don't want to risk any chance of her overhearing us."
Sophia pantomimed her lips being zipped shut and throwing away the key over her shoulder.
"Okay, I'm ready!" Tommy turned his head at the sound of his girlfriend's voice and froze when he caught sight of her.
So, she could definitely add onto her appearance…
How did she keep doing this to him? He stood up slowly from the couch, his lips curving up into a slow smile. "You look…beautiful." He managed to say. Lindy beamed at him, pleased by his reaction.
She was dressed in a tight forest green dress with lacy sleeves and an open back. On her feet were strappy black sandals, and on her face, Lindy had lined her eyes with gold eyeliner, and smoothed on nude lipstick. Her hair now long hair, cascaded down her back in waves.
"Close your mouth, Tommy. You'll catch flies," Sophia teased. Tommy glared at her, but immediately closed his mouth, which actually had fallen open slightly.
Lindy stepped into Tommy's arms, laughing, and he immediately wrapped them around her.
"Thank you," she said to his compliment. "Are you ready to go?"
"Am I ready?" He asked, kissing the top of her head, the smell of her pomegranate shampoo filling his nose. "I've been ready."
"Just get going you two. And for the love of God, stop dawdling." Sophia's voice was entirely too cheerful. Tommy shot her a warning look and she immediately turned the enthusiasm in her voice down a few notches. "I mean, you don't want to be late for dinner, do you?"
"I guess not," Lindy replied, taking Tommy's hand and leading him toward the door. "And Sophia—"
"Don't wait up, I know," she responded, her eyes sparkling. "Trust me, I won't." She shooed them away, closing the door behind them.
"What was up with her?" Lindy asked him, gazing back at the door in confusion.
"I have no idea." He tugged on her hand and led her down the stairs. "She's right though, we're going to be late for dinner if we don't hurry."
X
After dinner, as the couple walked hand in hand along the waterfront on the Brooklyn side, the early evening sky was cast in dazzling shades of blushing pink, vibrant yellow, bright orange, and fiery red; the last of the sun's rays sparkled beautifully off the Hudson.
Lindy watched the beauty of the setting sun, seemingly oblivious to the panicked storm raging inside Tommy. He glanced at Lindy beside him, and nervously fingered the velvet box in his jacket pocket.
He had planned on proposing to her during dinner, but then the guy sitting at the table beside them had gotten down on one knee to present a ring to his own girlfriend, which she enthusiastically taken. There was a lot of clapping and cheering, and Tommy's moment was gone. If he had asked Lindy then, it would have seemed like he was trying to one up the couple or trying to steal the spotlight. Lindy deserved to be asked with her own special moment.
A nice breeze passed by, whispering across Tommy's face and lifting the ends of Lindy's hair up. That, along with the sun turning her hair gold, made Tommy stop walking. She looked absolutely stunning.
Now, he would do it now. It was the perfect moment and it was the perfect time of day.
"Tommy, what's wrong?" Lindy asked, realizing they had stopped walking. She turned to face him fully and peered at his face in concern. "You've been acting kind of off all day. Are you feeling okay? Are you sick?"
He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and she smiled at the gesture. Tommy's pulse was pounding and he could feel his heart racing in his chest. It was now or never.
"Nothing's wrong," he reassured her, looking into her eyes. "I've just had something on my mind for a while now."
"Oh, what is it?"
Tommy smiled. "You. It's always been you."
She glanced down, suddenly shy, but he placed a hand on her cheek so that she looked back up into his eyes. "You drive me crazy in the best way, Lindy," he said so softly, that she could only hear him because they were standing so close together. Every word meant only for her.
"Every day is an adventure with you, even if all we end up doing is hole up inside and watch movies in our sweats all day. Even in the times when we were apart from each other in the last three years, just hearing your voice over the phone was enough to make my day. It still is." He took her hands in his, squeezing them gently. "I love you so much, Lindy."
Her eyes widened slightly, and Tommy could tell that she was starting to understand what he was doing, but he continued on, needing to say everything he needed to first.
"I love falling asleep and waking up next to you, and how at peace I feel when I wake up with you. I love how you and my dog get along." She let out a low laugh at that. "I love your laugh. I love the way you fidget with your pinkie when you're thinking, and the way your fingers twitch when you have an idea and you need to get to the nearest computer to see it through."
Tommy gazed at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. "I love how you seem to know what I'm thinking before I even say it. I love how we just fit together. If nothing else in the world makes sense, I know that at least we do. I fall more in love with you each day, and my life is better because you have been in it. I would love it if it would stay that way because you're home to me. I would do anything for you, Lindy, and I want to make you as happy as you make me because you make me so so damn happy."
He let go of her hands, took the velvet ring box out of his jacket pocket, sank down onto one knee, and flicked open the box with his thumb. "So, Lindy. Would you please marry me?"
Lindy's mouth hung open, her eyes widened, and her hand spread over her heart, as if there were too much emotion fighting for dominance at once. She let out a startled happy laugh that she quickly cut short.
"Yes, Tommy. Yes, of course. I'd love to marry you."
Tommy's heart surged with joy. She looked so incandescently happy. It was surreal to think, that even after all this time, it was he who was making her this way.
The grin that spread over his face lit up his entire being. He stood up quickly and slid the ring onto her finger, the last of the sunlight sparkling off of it. It fit perfectly. He took her into his arms and hugged her fiercely. Distantly, they could hear people clapping and cheering for them.
"I love you, I love you, I love you," Lindy told him, pulling him in for a kiss.
They didn't notice that a figure was hurtling towards them, until it was upon them, enveloping them in a bone crushing hug. It wasn't until it let go that they both realized it was Sophia.
"Sophia…?" Tommy trailed off when he noticed Yeager approaching them behind her, at a slower pace, a wide grin on his face. Tommy shook his head, but couldn't help but smile. "Did you guys follow us?"
Sophia waved her phone energetically at them in response. "I got a ton of pictures and I made Yeager get a video. You're welcome." Then she practically tackled Lindy and squealed. "I'm so happy for you!" She was already voicing her ideas to Lindy on wedding décor, and Lindy was starting to look overwhelmed.
Yeager chuckled at his girlfriend's enthusiasm. "Someone couldn't wait until tomorrow when Lindy would inevitably get back to their apartment. She wanted to watch," he explained to Tommy.
Tommy lowered his voice so that only Yeager could hear. "You haven't yet, right?"
Yeager shook his head. "Not yet. I want to wait a bit."
"Well, make sure you hide it good or she may find it. As of now, she thinks that you only went into the jeweler's to help me pick out a ring for Lindy. You're lucky you thought to put your bag in your pocket before you stepped outside, unlike me."
"I'll make sure she doesn't find it until the time comes."
"What are you two talking about?" Sophia asked, slipping her hand into Yeager's.
"I was just telling him that I can't believe I didn't notice you two tailing us."
"We thought Lindy would walk out of the restaurant with the ring already on her finger, and I almost rushed towards you guys, but Yeager stopped me. He pointed out that she still didn't have the ring on and she looked way too relaxed to be newly engaged. I mean, when you finally get a ring from the man you love, you have to at least have an ear-to-ear smile on your face."
Tommy grinned and took Lindy's hand in his. "An ear-to-ear smile, huh?"
She turned to him, with one on already her face. She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "There's more that I want to do than just smile."
"Yeah, we've gotta go now," Tommy stated, and started to tug Lindy away from their friends.
"Wait!" Sophia exclaimed, taking her phone out. "I need a photo!"
"You already took a bunch of them when he proposed to her," Yeager reminded her.
"Shhh," she swatted at him. "I'll show them those pictures during the slideshow they'll have at their wedding rehearsal. I'll have the power to set that all up since I'll be the maid of honor." She batted her eyelashes at her boyfriend who grinned. "This picture will be for your social medias."
Sophia stepped up to them as Tommy put his arm around Lindy and she wrapped her arm around his waist, displaying the ring. "Okay, smile!" They both grinned, but Tommy's eyes flickered over to Lindy just as the flash went off. "That's perfect!" Sophia exclaimed.
"Actually, I think I wasn't—" Tommy began.
"No! It's perfect. Now run along you two, I'm sure there are other things you would rather be doing than be here talking to us," she waggled her eyebrows suggestively, making Lindy laugh and Tommy groan. Tommy took his fiancée's hand and led her to where he had parked his car. They waved one last time at Sophia and Yeager and drove away.
When they were finally inside of Tommy's apartment, he locked the door, and turned to her, a slow grin spreading across his face. In a few strides of his long legs, he was standing in front of her, his hands on her hips.
"What?" Lindy asked, knowing full well what that look indicated, but still wanting him to say it.
"Well, future, Mrs. Calligan," Lindy grinned at the name. "You mentioned there was something more you wanted to do than just smile." His voice was low as he backed her closer to his bedroom, his hands searching for the zipper of her dress.
"There was," she murmured, as his lips moved over hers, her hands at his belt buckle. "We're already getting there."
Tommy walked her backwards into his bedroom, their eyes on each other's, hungry.
Lindy kicked the bedroom door shut behind them.