Author's Notes/Hopeful update schedule: I'm going to try to be consistent and update this every two to three weeks. That's my goal. Wish me luck.

Under the Influence

"Pass me the –- son."

Laes thought he heard his father talking, but he wasn't really listening.

Pass the what? He handed his father a screwdriver.

He was drowning in his own thoughts again. What happened to Darden? How close were the worms? Whatever happened to the jungle planet? Would they ever be able to recover Juelee's body? How was Lard Nar doing now that he was safely outside of the Empire?

There was too much to think about...

"Son, could you please pass me the -?"

His father was talking again. Maybe he handed him the wrong screwdriver? He reached into the large tool box and pulled out a different screwdriver. He passed it to his father before letting his mind sink back into its endless cycle.

Then he felt a hand clap him on the shoulder and he flinched and partially curled into a ball of semi-protection.

"Why do you keep handing me these?" His father asked, holding both screwdrivers in front of him before dropping them back into the box. "I need a hammer."

"Ohh..." Laes uncurled enough to reach back into the toolbox. Then he handed the hammer to his father.

"Are you doing ok Laes?" His father asked, taking a pause in his work. "You seem a bit distracted. I mean you're more distracted than usual."

"I'm just..."

Suddenly a zappy stick was in his face, and he glanced up at Pain who was scowling down at him. "Less talking, more working," he demanded.

Laes grasped his stump protectively and gave a quick nod. His heart was pounding and he just realized he was holding his breath. He was probably going to have a panic attack soon if he couldn't calm himself.

"We were multitasking, Vortians are good multitaskers," his father said, looking the Irken in the eyes.

Pain didn't look convinced, so his father tried again.

"You and I both know zapping him isn't going to make the work get done any faster."

The other Vortians were keeping their eyes on what they were doing. They didn't want to get involved.

Laes wished he wasn't involved either, but he was. He was always getting himself involved in something. Why was he always involving himself in something?

Tears blurred his vision and he crumpled to the ground again. Why couldn't he control his emotions anymore? Everything should be fine now right? His parents were alive… he was alive… Lard Nar was likely still alive… but so many others were dead.

Thwack!

His father had been struck. Laes huddled closer to himself and buried his face in his knees.

"I won't say it again!" Pain insisted, and he could hear the electricity getting closer. "Get back to..."

There was a fizzling sound. Laes risked a quick look and saw everyone was frozen. There was static all around them. Then a bright light flashed, and Pain started flickering in and out.

What was going on? He scrambled to his feet and glanced around. His father was lying on the ground looking less faded than everyone else was. Hold on… was this… was this a program? Was his mind trapped inside another machine?

"No..." he whispered, clutching his head and squeezing his eyes closed. "No no no…." How long had he been in here? Were his parents both dead? They were probably dead… just like his sister and his niece…

Now he understood what desperation felt like… wanting to escape but knowing you never could.

Shivering, he wrapped his arms around himself. This was what Lard Nar must have been feeling. Was this what despair and hopelessness was like? ...No wonder his former cellmate tried to electrocute himself to death.

"Laes..."

His eyes snapped open and he quickly glanced around. Someone said his name just now… was it his own mind saying that? Or the program? What were they expecting him to do…? How many times was he going to have to die this time before they let him leave?

"Laes… here… look..." the voice was very quiet. It was difficult to make out what the person or whatever was saying over the sound of static.

Then Pain started to move, and Laes let out a small yelp of surprise. He bit his lip and stumbled backwards, hopefully out of range of the zappy stick. The scythe looking thing wasn't being brandished anymore though. Instead it was being held loosely, and it was pointed away from him.

Pain offered him a smile, and he held out his hand. "It's ok." Those words were clear, but the program wasn't talking. Pain's mouth wasn't moving at all. Still, his voice was very familiar.

"B-Bann?" Laes stammered; his eyes wide in disbelief. He rubbed his bad arm nervously. "Are you… are you really here…?" The static sound was growing fainter, but the other Vortians were still flickering and whatever they'd been working on was fazing in and out. Surprisingly his father seemed to be affected the least, although the older Vortian was still frozen in place.

"Do you know anyone else who would enter an Irken program just to talk to you?" Bann responded in good humor.

"I kind of thought after you die you're supposed to move on... to… I dunno… some place else…?" Laes responded, but he didn't really want to look at Pain. It was better just to hear Bann's voice and pretend the Irken himself was standing there instead of the program of the prison guard who maimed him.

"Well I was supposed to have my data absorbed by the Control Brains one day, but that didn't happen," Bann replied.

"I'm not trying to be like… offensive or anything..." Laes spoke between chewing his lip. "But...I didn't think… you know… Irkens had like… soul-ghosts or whatever you call them..." He was totally being offensive, but he didn't know how else to bring this up.

Bann breathed a sigh. He was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke his voice was soft."Well… I don't know much about that… but Irkens having souls isn't an impossible thing, is it?"

"Of course it's not..." Laes responded. "But…" he fidgeted.

"They left the piece you took from the hologram device on top of the machine," Bann answered. The Irken probably assumed Laes was looking for an explanation, because he continued, "the device somehow took my memories and my personality files from my PAK I guess…" he paused for a moment.

"It's a PAK's first priority to find something to transfer to when the host body is dying… and my body was in the process of shutting down before Darden stabbed me. For some reason my PAK found the hologram device compatible."

"How are you getting into my dreams though?" Laes questioned with a frown.

Every machine could be pulled apart and figured out, even the most complicated ones. How could a piece from a small disguise making device not only download and hold onto Bann's data but also transfer said data into another machine? Or was it the Irken's PAK program doing that?

Machine to machine transfer did make some sense… but to have that data entered into his mind somehow…? It would have to be a simulator wouldn't it? That's what didn't make sense… or maybe it did. Maybe he was over-thinking everything.

It was a Bludonian device mostly wasn't it? That's probably why it didn't make sense. Vortian logic would be different from Bludonian logic.

The device was strange though... Bludonians were not known for being very technologically advanced... he was pretty sure they didn't care much about technology at all... so how did they make something so complicated...?

Bann shrugged. "I probably know less about the actual functions of the device than you do. I just know that my PAK would have tried to find a new host as I was dying. I have no idea why it accepted the hologram thing as a replacement or how its able to enter your dreams." He was quiet for a moment. Then he continued: "So it's not my soul that's haunting you Laes. It's my programming."

"Oh..." Laes responded. He didn't want to think about these things anymore. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep for a while.

"That hurts the whole "Irkens have souls" argument a bit, doesn't it?" Bann tried to joke.

Laes couldn't even muster a smile. There was a small awkward pause. Then the dead soldier spoke again.

"Do you want to wake up?"

"I'm sleeping?" Laes asked, raising his eyes a little. He was looking at Pain's chest plate now. He still didn't want to look at the guard's face. Even though he knew it was Bann, it would still be Pain's eyes staring back at him… he didn't want to see that.

"Sort of… they have your mind suspended in this simulation. Your father's too… but I can't wake him up."

Laes' eyes widened. "W-what do you mean you can't wake him up…?" he questioned in a soft whisper. He was afraid to hear the answer. His father might not be able to wake up… which meant the guards had done something horrible to him.

"He just can't or won't wake up..." Bann responded, and the Irken guard shifted uncomfortably. "I haven't heard enough pieces of their conversations to figure out exactly why yet… but when I do I'll let you know."

Laes felt like crying again. He wouldn't though… not now. He just needed some time… and to focus on breathing for a little while. He closed his eyes and hugged himself.

"Laes…" Bann's voice sounded closer. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from whimpering. "When you wake up you have to grab the device alright? It's the only way I can communicate with you."

"Y-yes… ok..." Laes agreed with a slight nod.

"There are no guards in the room right now."

"Oh… ok…"

"I think the machine is alarmed though, so it's going to be loud and crazy in a few moments… I want you to be mentally prepared for that," he pulled Laes into a somewhat awkward half-embrace. "Take the device and stick it into one of the ports in your computer."

"They won't let me keep it..." Laes mumbled, and he weakly tried to push the guard away from him.

"Don't let them know you have it," Bann concluded.

How was he supposed to do that? Laes wondered. He was bad at lying, and he doubted he would be any good at hiding things either.

That had been a close call.

Lard Nar breathed a sigh of relief as he watched the last worm disappear on the monitors. He thought Darden would have used this opportunity to slip away, but the Irken's ship was still beside theirs.

They had gotten as close to the nearest star as they could. It was blinding, and hot, but the shields were keeping everyone safe.

If Darden hadn't said anything, they'd all be dead right now.

Lard Nar shut his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. That was a sobering thought… the Resisty owed the Irken a debt didn't they? The soldier saved their lives… but the idea of owing an Irken anything caused a shiver to run up his spine. How could he accept it when the Irkens had already killed so many of them?

He flinched when the call light started flashing. Darden was calling them. He didn't want to answer. Someone else could do it. He rubbed his temples and turned away from the monitor.

Shloonktapooxis took the hint and answered the call himself. "Um… yes?" he began, sounding uncertain. The ordeal had shaken the captain a bit. It had shaken everyone. There was no way they could continue like this...

There had even been some talk of disbanding.

"If their nest is nearby they'll come back this way," Darden said, getting straight to the point as usual. "Have you been following the Irken broadcast signals?"

"Well..." Shloonktapooxis glanced at Lard Nar who was purposefully avoiding eye-contact. "Not really… I mean… it would be easier for them to track us if we did… so we just um… listen to other signals that might have good information..."

"A part of the Armada should be travelling along the outskirts of this sector in the next little while..." Darden continued.

Did he even consider he might be betraying the Empire right now Lard Nar wondered?

"Let them pass by. Then when they are nearly out of range on your monitors, follow them." Darden cleared his throat. "If the worms return you'll have some protection, just remove the tracker and you will be virtually untraceable."

There was no way for them to tell whether or not Darden was lying. The Irken had always been very straightforward and blunt when giving information… Lard Nar met Darden's gaze. He swallowed and managed a slight nod. The soldier returned the smile. It wasn't malicious either.

"Good. Stay alive," Darden remarked before ending the call.

Lard Nar continued to stare at the black screen long after the transmission had ended.

Darden could have killed them. The thought of this made it hard to breath. He clutched his chest and closed his eyes. They were safe… for the moment everyone was safe. That's what mattered right now…

"His ship is gone..." Shloonktapooxis commented, breaking the uneasy silence. He was floating from station to station, checking the different screens. "I also can't locate our other ship on the monitors..."

Lard Nar's eyes widened. No…no! Their other ship… they hadn't gotten a chance to meet with it before the worms came. Tears blurred his vision. They were probably dead. Ixane and the children had been on board that one.

"We have to find them..." Lard Nar decided, sitting up straighter in his chair. Both of his hands were trembling. He couldn't hide it.

He had to find the rest of his crew… or whatever was left of them…

"I really want to agree with you boss..." Shloonktapooxis began in a quiet voice. "But it's too dangerous to do that right now..."

"We need to keep an eye out for the Irken vessels," another crew member spoke up. "Hopefully the Irken wasn't lying about that..."

"But..." Lard Nar wanted to find Ixane, but he didn't want to put whoever remained in danger either. He hesitated, grinding his teeth as he tried to think of a way he could search for their other vessel without putting anyone else in jeopardy.

There was none he realized. There were no escape pods on board anymore. He couldn't leave on his own.

"But if they're alive… they'll need to know where to find us..." he mumbled.

"I'll keep checking the ultarian wave signal," the same crew member offered.

"And I'll keep an eye for them on the monitors," another remarked.

That was all they could do for now. Lard Nar knew this, but it still didn't seem like enough.

"Alright..." he agreed; his voice barely rising above a whisper.

He wasn't the captain anymore. Shloonktapooxis was. He needed to accept whatever decisions he made.