Buffy woke up feeling warm, and for the first time since being brought back to life, she was hopeful about the future. Not her future - she knew that was doomed, but she thought she at least could do something nice for Tara.

As she was thinking about Tara, she slowly became aware that she was not alone in her bed. Another person, female from what she felt of the body pressing to her back, was in bed with her. That person had their arm wrapped possessively around Buffy's waist from behind.

Buffy reasoned that it must be Tara. She must have woken up in the night and walked into the wrong room out of habit.

Buffy stayed still, taking a few minutes to enjoy the feeling that she knew would never be hers. She had spent an immeasurable amount of time imagining what it might feel like to be held by Tara. The reality was far better than any of her fantasies. Still - she knew this wasn't right, and she had to end it before Tara woke up.

Moving as carefully as possible, she slowly started to extricate herself from Tara's arms.

It didn't work. Tara pulled her closer and started to nuzzle her neck. Buffy let out a small moan at the unexpected but very welcome contact.

"Tara." She said quietly, not wanting to startle Tara but needing to be sure she knew it was Buffy she was holding.

"Good morning," Tara said, and then the nuzzling became soft kisses. The hand around her waist started sliding under her shirt and up until Buffy finally came to her senses.

"What are you doing?" Buffy whispered, again believing that Tara was just confused.

Tara chuckled, "it's early. We have a little time." The kisses started up again, and Buffy almost forgot that they shouldn't be doing this.

"But…" Buffy moaned loudly as Tara hit a particularly sensitive spot behind her ear. "Wait."

"Wait?" Tara asked but didn't stop with the kisses. "Wait for what?"

"I mean... Don't you think we're skipping some steps here?"

This got Tara to stop what she was doing and back away, rising up on her elbow. "What are you talking about?"

Buffy was both dismayed and relieved that Tara had moved away. "Well - I mean... We haven't even gone out on any dates. And that's nevermind the fact that I'm a total mess, and you should find someone better." Buffy could barely meet Tara's eyes as she said this.

"Buffy, what are you talking about?" Tara was more alarmed now and sat all the way up.

Buffy was confused by Tara's response. She had expected embarrassment or maybe anger that Buffy hadn't stopped things sooner. But Tara seemed to think everything was normal about Tara being in her bed, so she sat up too. When she did, she finally noticed the room and how it was decorated. "When did you do all this?"

Tara jumped out of bed and looked very confused and flustered. "I thought… You said it was OK?" Tara was near tears now, and Buffy really couldn't handle that.

"Hey, it is OK - it's totally OK. I just didn't expect that you'd want to move back in here." Buffy tried to calm Tara down, but it wasn't working at all. "Please tell me how I can fix this? Do you want me to go back to my room? I don't mind - really."

Tara took another step back, "why…B… " Tara couldn't get her words out, and Buffy felt worse than she could have ever imagined feeling. Tara had been completely confident only moments before. Buffy was horrified at causing Tara any kind of anxiety.

"I'm so sorry - what can I do?" Buffy had backed out into the hallway, wanting to give Tara as much space as possible.

"Hey!"

"What the…" Buffy was shocked to have stumbled into a very groggy Faith. Buffy jumped to a fighting stance before she could even try to make sense of why Faith was in her house.

"Easy - just heard raised voices - wanted to make sure there wasn't trouble." Faith said, barely opening her eyes. "I'll just go back to sleep." With that, Faith walked back into her room and flopped face down on the bed.

The room that was once Buffy's and should now have been Tara's - somehow that was Faith's room. Faith hadn't bothered to shut the door, and it was apparent that the other slayer had been living there for some time.

The realization hit Buffy, and she chuckled in relief before turning her attention back to Tara.

Tara, who had her arms wrapped around her midsection, winced at the sound. Buffy quickly moved to her. "I'm so sorry. I know that was very confusing - but I'm not your Buffy."

Tara looked up with a frown, and Buffy couldn't help but want to wipe the tears away, but it wasn't her place.

"This is either a dream or some kind of dimension swap. Where I'm from, we aren't together… but I did sort of confess my feelings for you recently." Buffy wasn't sure why she added that bit of information.

Tara started to relax a little, but it was clear that she was still very uneasy about the whole situation.

Buffy frowned as she replayed what happened. The way Tara so quickly shut down seemed to indicate that the relationship wasn't very solid. "Are things not good between you two?"

"No, things are good... Just new, I guess… Or at least the me living here is new." Tara's words came out unevenly, but she did not stutter. Her hands were still wrapped protectively around herself, but she was beginning to calm.

Buffy felt herself reaching out but quickly pulled her hand back. "Sorry." She smiled sadly.

"Maybe we should get dressed and go downstairs?" Tara offered, wanting to get to the bottom of this situation as quickly as possible.

"Good idea." Buffy guessed at which clothes were hers and grabbed a few things before heading to the bathroom to give Tara some privacy. After changing quickly, she headed to the kitchen. She wasn't about to try and cook anything, but she could at least get the coffee going.

It had just finished brewing when Tara made her appearance. Buffy pushed a mug to Tara without thinking. "I don't drink coffee," Tara said and went to the cupboard to retrieve her tea.

"Oh yeah... I… that's tea." Buffy flushed with embarrassment. "I just assumed you would like the same things."

"You're not dating, but you know what she likes to drink to start the day?" Tara asked with a wry grin.

"We've been living together for a while… she was dating someone else, though. My best friend." Buffy added before she could stop herself. Shocked when Tara burst out laughing.

"Some version of me is dating Faith?"

That suggestion caused Buffy to almost choke on her latest sip of coffee. "Faith is my best friend?" She shook her head to clear the absurd idea. "God, what else is different here?"

"Why do you think this happened?" Tara asked after a few moments of watching Buffy process the news about Faith. As much as she was interested in this other dimension, she was much more interested in getting her Buffy back.

"I don't really know. I didn't make a wish or anything. Do you know if there's a spell that might have done this?"

Tara thought for a moment, "not that I can think of."

"But you are a witch, and Faith and I are slayers?"

Tara nodded, and Buffy sighed with relief that some things in this dimension were familiar to her.

"What about Giles? Is he my watcher?"

Tara frowned, "Mr. Giles… died several years ago."

"Oh," Buffy knew she shouldn't be sad about this Giles, that she didn't even know, being dead. Suddenly her vision swam, and she swooned slightly.

"Buffy?" Dawn gave her a concerned look, and Buffy couldn't make any sense of what just happened.

"Where did Tara go?"

Dawn shrugged, "class, I think."

"Class… but..." Buffy rubbed her temples to clear the headache that was forming.

"Promise me that you aren't going to chase her away!" Dawn snapped.

"Of course I won't." Buffy immediately agreed. "But seriously… wasn't she just here?"

"You are acting even weirder than usual today." Dawn tilted her head in concern, which was also very confusing to Buffy. Dawn had looked at her with nothing but contempt ever since it was revealed that she had been in heaven.

"Buffy?" Tara was standing in front of her again.

"Tara? What is going on?" Buffy looked around the room, expecting Dawn to be there.

"I just asked if you wanted pancakes." Tara slid a cup of coffee over to Buffy, who accepted it gratefully.

"Oh, um… yes. Thank you." Buffy sat down at the counter and tried to piece together what was happening. Tara kissed her on the cheek, and Buffy couldn't react quick enough to stop it from happening.

"Pancakes?" Faith asked and sat down heavily next to Buffy at the counter. Tara grinned at her, and Faith smiled back. "Thanks, Blondie."

Buffy had no idea what was going on now. She thought she had switched dimensions again, but this seemed like a different day than the last time she was with Tara and Faith. "Dawn." She finally realized that she hadn't seen Dawn at all while in this alternate universe.

"What about it? Way too fucking early to be awake if you ask me." Faith grumbled and sipped at the coffee Tara had handed her.

"No… I mean, where is she?" Buffy asked and started to get even more confused by Tara and Faith's concerned looks.

"Buffy, are you feeling OK?" Tara was around the counter and holding her hand to Buffy's forehead. "You are kind of hot."

Faith chuckled, and Tara shot her a glare, which just made Faith laugh harder. "Come on, you can't expect me to let that go!"

"Don't you have to go to work?" Tara asked, not at all amused by Faith's antics.

"Damn, fine!" Faith shoved pancake in her mouth and stormed off, grumbling the whole time. "Nobody can take a joke around here."

Buffy looked at Tara, who was still standing very close. "I don't understand."

Tara tried to touch Buffy again, but Buffy blocked the attempt and stood up. "I thought you knew that I wasn't your Buffy."

Tara frowned and dropped her hand. "We talked about this - you are my Buffy. You've just been sick."

"I have?" Buffy didn't know what was going on, but she really wanted to believe what Tara was saying. The idea that this could actually be her life was very appealing.

"Your mother is supposed to be visiting tomorrow. Maybe we should postpone." Tara's worry was evident in her voice, and Buffy ached to take that pain away.

"My mom?" Buffy felt like her heart was going to explode. Not only did she have Tara, but her mom was still alive.

Buffy's vision began to swim again, and when things stopped spinning, she was sitting on the same stool in the kitchen, but no one was with her.

Something was very wrong, she needed help, and she needed it now. After quickly checking the rooms in the house, she confirmed that this was her world—the one without Tara's love or her mother.

"Giles!" She stormed into the Magic Box only to remember that Giles was in England.

Anya was helping a customer, and Buffy almost dropped to her knees. Her version of Giles had left her to fend for herself, and he didn't even exist in the other dimension. She briefly wondered if this one would help her if she called him. After how they left things, she had too much pride to find out.

"You are being very loud and scaring away my customers." Anya chastised her, and Buffy didn't have any idea how to respond to that. She was never very close with Anya but had a feeling that the ex-demon would not be of much help. She was out of options, though.

"Anya," she focused on the ex-vengeance demon who she had never really thought much about. "Will you help me?"

Anya's demeanor changed drastically. "Oh! Do you want to buy something? I won't give you any kind of discount, but I'll sell you anything you'd like."

"No, I mean… something is wrong with me. I need magical help."

"Oh." Anya's fake smile dropped immediately as she realized there was no prospect of getting paid. "Can't you go to Willow for that?"

"She's gone." Buffy felt like she was going to throw up. Sending Willow away had been the right decision, but if Willow had been here - she would be able to help. Thinking of Willow reminded her of the Tara situation, and her guilt intensified.

Another customer entered, and Anya immediately lost interest in Buffy to attend to the newcomer.

Buffy huffed, though she wasn't entirely surprised by Anya's behavior. She surveyed the Magic Box and saw the shelves of books. Having no other choice, she took a step towards them.

Her vision blurred, and she tripped over something. When she looked up again, a stranger was standing in front of her.

"Are you here to pick up your girlfriend's order?"

Buffy tried to focus her mind, but it was becoming more and more impossible. "Tara?"

"Yes, that is your girlfriend - isn't it?" The man tilted his head at her and then turned away to check the shelves behind the counter. "Ah yes, here it is." He grabbed a brown paper bag and handed it to her.

Buffy held the package tight to her chest as her mind raced to find a solution. The books she had been intending on using were no longer available to her, so she did the only thing she could and left the store.

When she got home, she sat on the couch, still clutching the bag of items for Tara. After staring vacantly into space for several minutes, she slid down to her side and curled into a ball - letting sleep claim her.

"I don't understand why Willow can't come back."

Buffy blinked a few times and tried to orient herself to somehow being in the kitchen with a very angry Dawn yelling at her. "What?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. Willow and Tara are meant for each other."

Buffy couldn't quite keep the sneer off her face at this comment. Luckily, Dawn wasn't looking at her, so she missed it.

"Willow loves Tara so much - it's not fair that you're keeping them apart."

"You don't r..." Buffy just managed to stop herself from finishing that sentence. It was not her place to explain to Dawn what happened.

"You don't what?" Dawn asked, glaring at Buffy.

"You just don't treat someone you love that way." Buffy had no idea how to convince Dawn that she was wrong about Willow. She still wanted to protect her sister from the horrors of the world, but she wasn't sure she could handle it if Dawn continued to advocate for Willow.

Dawn narrowed her eyes, "that wasn't what you were going to say."

"It is not my story to tell," Buffy said and wished that she'd transition to the other dimension so that she wouldn't have to finish this conversation. "You have to talk to Tara about this."

"I asked her, but she just tells me that Willow was irresponsible with her magic. It doesn't seem like that's a good enough reason to make her leave." Dawn had her hands on her hips as she stared Buffy down.

"It's Tara's decision. You should respect it." Buffy already regretted suggesting that Dawn should talk to Tara. It wasn't fair to force her to share the details of the breakup with Dawn.

Then Dawn took a menacing step towards Buffy. "What makes a lot more sense to me - is that you broke them up so that you could be with Tara."

"I would never do that!" Buffy argued, but Dawn clearly didn't believe her.

"Please, I see the way you look at her. It's even worse than when Faith was around." Dawn scoffed, and Buffy now wished that the earth would just swallow her up.

Buffy sputtered and completely failed to figure out what to say.

"What's going on in here? I heard raised voices." Tara entered the kitchen to see Dawn backing Buffy against a wall.

Dawn whipped around to face Tara. "You shouldn't let her get in between you and Willow. I'm sure you can convince Willow to come back."

Tara sighed and looked at Buffy, who was standing against the wall with her head hanging low. "Dawnie, will you sit with me?" Tara motioned towards the living room.

"I'm not a kid - you don't have to..."

Tara shook her head, "I'm going try to explain this to you." Then she looked over to Buffy, "is it OK if I tell her?"

Buffy didn't know what Tara was planning on telling her or why she felt she needed Buffy's permission. But she also couldn't figure out how to get her voice to work - so she just nodded.

Tara took a few moments to gather her thoughts. "Do you remember how you asked about the fight Willow and I had?" Dawn nodded, "I didn't remember it because Willow took my memories."

Dawn stood up and started frantically pacing. "She wouldn't..." Dawn started and then stop as she realized that she definitely would. "So the day we all lost our memories - that was Willow?"

Tara nodded, "she wanted me to forget that I was upset with her for using too much magic, and she wanted Buffy to forget about heaven."

"I didn't..." Dawn frowned and looked over at her sister. "But still... couldn't you work that out? I'm sure she didn't mean to take all our memories."

Tara had really hoped that Dawn would stop pressing. She barely wanted to admit to herself how she felt about the situation.

"Dawn." Buffy pushed away from the wall and towards her sister. "Think about what you're asking. Tara and Willow were fighting, and Willow just magiced the fight away. Think about if your partner did that to you. How would you feel if they changed your memories so you would be more compliant?"

Dawn scowled as she thought about what Buffy was saying. "Oh." She finally squeaked out. And now she put together what Buffy was originally going to say. "I'm so sorry!" Dawn flung herself at Tara and hugged her tightly while she began to cry. "I'll never ask about her again, I swear."

"It's OK." Tara tried to comfort the crying teen. Her own tears started to flow as she thought more about what Buffy had said. She recalled the night before she had found Lethe's Bramble under her pillow. They must have fought that night, but she couldn't remember.

What she did remember - was sliding into bed next to Willow and cuddling up next to her. Willow had been particularly amorous that night, which is why Tara had woken up in such a great mood that day. Her stomach started to twist as she fully accepted what had Willow had done to her.

Buffy stood in the center of the room, watching Dawn and Tara. Her heart breaking all over again for both of them. She wants to comfort Tara herself, and she hopes that someday she'll be able to. For now, she's just glad that Tara and Dawn have each other.

Dawn turned away from Tara to face Buffy, "I'm so sorry."

Buffy was shocked by her sister apologizing to her, but before she could accept the apology or reply - the room shifted, and Tara and Dawn were gone. She huffed in frustration and sat on the couch.

Raised voices could be heard from the kitchen.

"Least you're not in fucking jail." Faith grumbled.

Buffy could hear Tara crying through the kitchen door, and she hated herself for it.

"I'm sorry, T," Faith said, and Buffy again wanted to comfort Tara, but she couldn't manage to get up and had no idea what she'd even be able to say. "That girl is just in love with being miserable. It's no wonder she dreamed up some fucked up dimension where everybody hates her."

Tara sniffled and tried to argue, but Faith cut her off.

"Why do you think things didn't work out between us? She was always complaining about her slayer duties. Blah blah blah." Faith's lack of compassion for her was not surprising, but it still burned. Was Faith right? Is it all her fault that this was happening? If she could just figure out how to be happy - could she stay here?

"I think it was more that you were always cheating on her." Tara pointed out, and Faith chuckled.

"I guess that could be a factor." Faith said. "But maybe I wouldn't have had to cheat on her if she didn't have that stick up her ass."

"Faith!" Tara laughed, and Buffy's heart broke yet again. She knew she could never make any version of Tara laugh like that.

"Seriously, though, T. She's always gotta be a martyr. You want me to talk some sense into her?" Buffy cringed, just imagining what Faith's version of talking sense into her might be.

"No, please don't. I'm sure Buffy will make the right decision." Faith huffed a little, but at least she didn't argue. "I'm going to go check on her - you're working on the demon angle?"

"Yeah yeah. I'll get your demon." Faith grumbled. "Still think you're better off without her."

Tara opened the door to see Buffy sitting upright. Her knees pulled to her chest as she leaned into the arm of the couch.

"You're awake," Tara said with a frown. "I guess you heard all that? Don't worry about Faith. She didn't mean any of what she said. She just doesn't know how to deal with being upset. I know it might not seem like it, but she really does care about you."

"Yeah." Buffy sighed out. She didn't have the energy to argue the point. Of all the things in this world, Faith caring about her might be the hardest thing for Buffy to believe.

"Can I sit with you?" Tara motioned to the couch, and Buffy nodded eagerly. It didn't matter which reality was real - having Tara near her was always what she wanted.

"I'm so sorry I'm hurting you," Buffy said quietly. Even though she knew that this wasn't really her Tara and she might only exist in Buffy's demon-addled brain - she still didn't want to be the source of any pain for Tara.

Tara gently cupped Buffy's cheek. "I know you're not doing it on purpose. We know what demon did this to you, and Faith is working on tracking it down."

Buffy leaned into the touch and allowed herself to hope that this really was her world. Then her vision began to swim again. For the first time, she railed against the transition, clutching to Tara and begging whatever was doing this to her to stop.

She couldn't help but sob when she realized it didn't work.

It was still Tara sitting on the couch, but this time it was the one that didn't love her. "Oh, Buffy," Tara wrapped Buffy in a hug. "I'm so sorry this is happening to you."

Buffy tried to regain control of herself. She did not want Tara to feel bad for her. "I'm OK." She said while carefully and reluctantly pulling out of Tara's hug.

Tara frowned as Buffy backed away from her. "Spike is on his way with the demon. We'll have you fixed up in no time."

"Thank you." Buffy sniffled and really tried to force herself to be better. She didn't want to be a drain on Tara. She also wasn't sure how she felt about Spike helping out. Realizing that he was all she really had to count on was more than a little devastating.

"Buffy," Tara said and gently touched Buffy's cheek. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"Nothing, I'm just… tired." Tired was a massive understatement.

"Can I… Will you let me hold you?"

Buffy was shocked by this and struggled not to jump into Tara's arm. "Really?" She was too excited to remember that she was sure Tara hated her.

Tara smiled and slid to the other end of the couch while holding her arms open. Buffy was too mentally drained to resist that pull and crawled over to Tara, letting the other woman comfort her.