Author's Notes: There are descriptions of torture in this chapter. Just so you know.
Freeing the Mind
Sevai planned to use a connector device to divide the mental strain the machine caused between two people: the subject and himself.
It was interesting listening to the Invader explain how he was going to make the process as easy as possible, although he sounded a little apprehensive about it.
This didn't sound like something Invaders usually did.
Sevai would be risking his own mind in order to alleviate some of the pressure from his subject. He would be putting himself in danger.
"Do all Invaders have wings?" Laes asked.
Had he seen a few Invaders with wings...?
Lard Nar glanced at his former cellmate who was watching Sevai set up some machinery. The Invader was pulling out different devices and untangling wires.
"Except for our young ones, and those who have broken our laws, all of my people have wings. We keep them 'put away' most of the time since there is no reason to have them visible. We lost our ability to use them long ago."
He snapped a few pieces together before bringing the objects closer. Then he placed a few interesting looking machine parts on a table next to the one Lard Nar was sitting on.
Sevai held out a rounded metal device to him.
"Please place this on your head. It will adjust its self accordingly. Please don't try to remove it while I'm syncing it with the machine."
Lard Nar did as he was told. The strange metal was cool to the touch. It felt almost like liquid.
The device must have made holes for his horns because it seemed to fit perfectly.
He watched Sevai return to what looked like the main controls. The Invader slowly pushed one of the levers forward, dimming the lights. Then he began typing something into the machine.
A hologram appeared. It was a bit unstable at first, but it quickly focused.
There were glowing blue symbols in a language he couldn't recognize. They were scrolling across the hologram which was in the shape of a very large screen.
"Alright... now I just need to adjust my own technology to sync with yours and the machine..." Sevai explained. "Please lie down."
"Could I sit...?" Lard Nar questioned, and his fingers dug into the cold metal table.
His heart was already starting to pound faster in his chest. His mouth was dry and he could feel his body beginning to tremble.
If he lay down now the feelings of vulnerability would cause his mind to instantly start fighting whatever Sevai was about to subject him to.
"It is not recommended..." Sevai responded.
The Invader was quiet for a moment as he adjusted the invisible technology he wore on the side of his head.
"But I will allow it... if you start to feel dizzy or light headed, please lie down."
"I will..." Lard Nar murmured.
"Should I step out...?" Laes questioned him, motioning towards the door. "Or do you want me to stay?"
Lard Nar wasn't sure what he wanted. He felt it would be easier to stay calm with Laes in the room, but he also didn't want to frighten his former cellmate with his reactions.
The torture he experienced while they were both sharing a cell had been a lot worse than he let on... that's why he had trouble talking or even moving most days. That's also why he wanted to die so badly.
"You cannot leave on your own unless Delarla reprograms the door to recognize your genetic signal..." Sevai explained. "You will need to leave when I do."
"Is that ok?" Laes was asking him again.
"Yes..." Lard Nar replied, lowering his gaze to the floor. "Just..." he sucked in a breath. "I... I might not be myself for a little while..."
This was the main reason why he didn't like sleeping. When he closed his eyes he sometimes saw horribly vivid flashbacks. He also had terrible nightmares.
That's why he stayed awake most of the time... he didn't want to disturb anyone when he woke up screaming and panicking.
"If it gets too bad, you can stop it right..?" Laes asked Sevai.
"Suddenly stopping the program could cause complications... but the negative effects of a slower stop would be minimal," Sevai explained as he lowered himself into a sitting position beside the controls.
His hand was hovering near one of the buttons.
"Are you ready to begin Lard Nar?"
"Yes..." Lard Nar answered, and he squeezed his eye shut.
–
Almost instantly he could feel the pressure against the back of his head... his heart was racing. It was taking most of his concentration just to keep his breathing controlled.
"Lard Nar... please try not to fight the machine... I promise that whatever intense thoughts and feelings you have will be lessened by our connection," Sevai told him in a calm voice.
Fighting the machine was reflexive. The feeling was too similar to an Irken's mind-tap. The machine was going to bring everything he'd been suppressing to the surface.
There was a painful jolt.
He tried to bring his hands up to clutch his aching head, but the device on his wrist prevented this kind of quick reaction.
He was trapped... he couldn't escape from the Irken's torture and he wouldn't be able to escape from this either.
The Irkens had dug his eye out... they scraped around with their sharp implements while he screamed and writhed in agony.
They kept asking where the Resisty was currently hiding. He bit his tongue and refused to speak. He would never tell the Irkens anything about his comrades.
They cut off his fingers too. They did it so slowly... he could feel every movement of the blade cutting into his flesh... then bone. He thrashed and struggled but he'd been tied down. There was nothing he could do to stop it.
"I want you to focus on something else for a moment..." Sevai's voice broke through his racing thoughts. "A more positive experience in your past perhaps?"
A positive experience...? He had many of those... his family had been very good. Very supportive... but they were all dead now. The Irkens killed them.
"You have my condolences... may I inquire a little about the Resisty? You were willing to sacrifice yourself for them, so they must be important to you."
Lard Nar's mind blanked. He couldn't think about them... he wouldn't let anyone hurt them.
"I promise I will not hurt them Lard Nar... you don't need to give me any details... just explain to me what their purpose is so I can understand..."
"The Resisty is a band of people from conquered or soon to be conquered planets..." Lard Nar choked out.
He was trying to block the machine from accessing any deeper thoughts about the organization he started.
"I brought them together so we could resist Irken control... and someday... help those who were still enslaved.."
"I see... so you were proactive in combating the Irken's military influence?"
"We were not successful..." Lard Nar muttered through clenched teeth. "Many of my comrades died..."
"I-I would assume you didn't have many resources... yet despite your clear disadvantage you still tried to stop the Irkens..."
Sevai's voice sounded strained. He cleared his throat.
"You are fighting with the machine again."
I can't let anyone know where they are... I can't let them get hurt anymore...
"Whatever sensitive information that is not related to our field of research will be kept completely confidential."
Your people are the ones who created the Irkens... I saw the cruel experiments preformed on them... and the way your kind used my people... how can I trust you? I barely know who you are.
His chest felt tight. It was getting more difficult to breathe.
He couldn't breathe when he was being electrocuted either... that was the worst feeling... it wasn't the most painful, but it lasted so much longer...
There were always two guards armed with electric scythes... they would lock him in a small sound proof room and repeatedly zap him while also gradually turning up the current.
His blood felt like it was on fire. His throat became raw from screaming so much.
Every part of him was in agony as all of his muscles contracted, sending his body into painful spasms.
Then when he thought it might be over, he quickly realized he couldn't move his arms or legs. His limbs kept twitching on their own. He gasped for air but his lungs wouldn't expand. His head throbbed painfully, and his vision faded in and out.
Eventually they gave him some time to regain his senses and find his voice. They demanded to know about the Resisy, and he again refused to give them any information.
Then it started all over again...
A few times they electrocuted him too quickly and forcefully so he passed out. If he was lucky they might leave him alone for an hour before kicking him awake. They would also beat him with their scythes until he was bruised and bleeding all over.
One of the guards grabbed his arm and put enough pressure on it to snap the bone in half.
He winced at this memory, and he tasted blood. His tongue hurt. He must have bitten it.
His eyes snapped open. He couldn't move... his head was throbbing so badly. The tightness in his chest was overwhelming... it was almost like he was being crushed from the inside.
"I need to turn this off..." Sevai decided as he struggled to his feet in order to reach all of the controls. "Laes... please grab his hand or something to ground him... his thoughts are too... I don't think we can continue this..."
They pinned him down and forced a tube down his throat so they could make him ingest something extremely acidic. It burned on its way down and he could feel it eating away at his stomach.
Afterwards, eating became painful. Even now that the pain had stopped, he still hesitated to eat anything.
Tears were streaming down his face. He choked back a sob as he tried to curl his legs closer to his body. He was shaking so badly... then he felt a hand on his leg.
He managed to focus his bleary gaze on the face of his former cellmate.
"Hey um... remember when our planet wasn't ruined and we were both working in the lab on that research station?" Laes asked.
There was a concerned look on his former cellmate's face. He really didn't want to worry Laes...
"Y-Yes..." Lard Nar stammered. It felt like a long time ago... but he remembered.
Back then Laes and him hadn't spoken very much. They met a few times between other work to collaborate on the Massive's designs, but there were many other projects happening at the same time and Laes was working on at least three of them, he was pretty sure.
"Do you remember what kind of cake they had in the break room? I think it was a mix of two different ones, but I can't remember."
Lard Nar stared at him. Cake...? Why was he talking about cake...?
"It was blue with pink on the inside remember? I think it was for Lorle's birthday."
"Why are you asking me...?" Lard Nar asked.
"Because I used to daydream about that cake a lot when I was in prison, and I thought now that we're free it would be awesome to eat it again."
"Oh..."
"Remember how the head scientist always used to get my name and Lorle's name mixed up?" Laes questioned, and he chuckled. "It was better than poor Dwoylen! He was always getting called "Dwoydle for some reason. I don't even remember how that got started."
"I've switched it off..." Sevai informed them.
The Invader was standing straighter now, though he was rubbing the side of his head and wincing in pain.
"Oh good," Laes remarked, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
He removed his hand from Lard Nar and took a step back.
Then... Laes had been distracting him?
Lard Nar pulled off the device on his head and placed it down on the metal table. His head was definitely aching... he also felt kind of sick.
"You need to get some liquid and nutrients in you right now," Sevai spoke as he approached Lard Nar. "You are dehydrated, malnourished, and sleep deprived... we cannot work on repairing your body until your basic requirements are met."
"Y-yes... alright..." Lard Nar agreed, watching as Sevai reached for his arm.
His heart was still pounding in his chest.
The machine had drained him both mentally and physically.
He allowed Sevai to stretch his arm out, cringing when he remembered how the Irkens did this right before breaking it. Then he felt the band around his wrist being loosened.
Sevai slid it off and placed it back in his pocket.
"You have no strength left do you?" Sevai asked, sounding concerned. He winced and rubbed his head again. "I should have prepared for this..."
"I can walk..." Lard Nar insisted, although he was pretty sure he couldn't.
His legs felt almost numb, and his vision was blurred. If he tried to move too much right now he would probably collapse.
"I will not allow it," Sevai stated. "You are in no condition to move around on your own." He placed a hand on Lard Nar's shoulder. "I will give you something that will return your strength."
"It's more tea isn't it?" Laes guessed.
"It's a special blend of tea," Sevai admitted him as he turned and walked towards the door.
Lard Nar suddenly felt very dizzy. He closed his eye and sucked in a shuddering breath. He was probably going to have this headache for a few days.
"Hey um... are you feeling ok?" Laes asked.
Lard Nar tried to focus on Laes who'd come a bit closer to the table.
"I'm fine," Lard Nar responded.
Sevai must have taken some of the mental strain away since he was still able to think and speak properly. The first time the Invaders tried to peer into his thoughts, he resisted so badly he nearly lost his ability to communicate.
"Well... I mean... it's kind of hard to believe that after everything Sevai said..."
"I feel a bit tired..." Lard Nar admitted.
He was also cold and in a lot of pain. He wrapped his arms around himself as a shiver passed through his body.
Why was it suddenly so cold...?
"Are you cold?"
"Y-yes..."
Laes hoisted himself up onto the table and scooted close to Lard Nar so he could place an arm over his shoulders.
"Is this better?"
Lard Nar tensed and turned his face away. He could feel his tears threatening to overflow.
"Thank you for distracting me..." he told Laes in a low whisper.
He didn't want to think about where his mind would have gone if his former co-worker hadn't started talking about old times...
"Anytime," Laes responded. "But really... what was that cake called? Do you remember?"
"I think I might have been off sick that day actually..."
"Yeah, but it was in the fridge for at least three days after the party. It was a pretty big cake."
Lard Nar just looked at him wordlessly.
Even back then Laes usually got pretty excited about food.
"Ok yes, I ate cake for three days in a row and still managed to forget to ask what kind it was," Laes admitted, letting go and moving away a bit.
"But it was really really good..." he rubbed his chin. "Come to think of it, we didn't talk a whole lot back then did we?"
"We were usually working on different projects... designing the Massive was the first time we ever collaborated on anything."
Sevai walked through the door with a cup of tea in one hand and what looked like bread in the other. He held out the cup to Lard Nar who carefully accepted it.
"Drink the tea first," he instructed. "Then when you're finished, I want you to eat half of this."
He broke the bread in half and gave a piece of it to Laes.
"What is it...?" Laes asked, looking down at the food in his hands curiously.
"We call it "panna," Sevai replied. "It's a sweetened bread."
Laes took a bite and then hurriedly devoured the whole thing. "That tasted amazing."
"Thank you. I baked it yesterday, so it should still have its sweet flavor. This kind of bread gradually loses its flavor as it ages. In a week's time it will not taste like anything at all."
"You bake?"
"When I have a spare moment, yes."
Sevai sighed.
He must have recognized the eager look Laes was giving both him and the other half of the sweet bread.
"As much as I would like for you to have more, I will have to discourage it since your organs cannot handle more than a little bit at a time... and you've already eaten it much faster than I would've recommended."
"Ahh... sorry..." Laes apologized.
"You'll be fine. I just can't give you any more at this moment."
Lard Nar slowly sipped his tea. It was very warm, and while it had a hint of sweetness, it definitely tasted more medicinal than the last cup he'd been given.
He listened quietly as Laes and Sevai talked about baking.
The medicine was taking the edge off his headache. He was also starting to feel very tired. The tea was doing a good job of warming him. He was also beginning to realize just how thirsty he'd been.
When he finished, Sevai gave him the other half of the panna and took back the empty cup.
Lard Nar took a small bite... it was sweet and soft. He hadn't had much of an appetite since the Irkens tortured him, but he was willing to try eating this.
"I've asked Kachori to move us from this room to mine," Sevai spoke.
His hand was resting against the side of his head again. He probably had a pretty bad headache too.
"Both of you need to rest, and our sleeping quarters are much more comfortable than the medical cots are."
"What about Darden?" Laes asked.
He must have suddenly realized there hadn't been any news about the Irken lately... it was a bit concerning, but if the Invaders decided to reprogram him there was nothing they could do about it.
That wasn't exactly right... There was always something that could be done... they could always... no... he was too tired to resist anymore.
He couldn't handle being tortured again.
More Notes: The amount of torture Lard Nar experienced was far greater than Laes realizes because Lard Nar kept that from him on purpose.
The former leader of the Resisty likes to downplay the trauma he has, but he recognized pretty quick that he wasn't in a good enough mental state to lead the Resisty.
That's why he never tried to regain his captain title and is currently avoiding any kind of leadership at all.