But today, if you asked me

how many things I fear,

I will say just one.

Losing you.

-Nikita Gill

To celebrate the Season 2 premiere, I decided to post two chapters today. Enjoy!

Warning: Beginnings of a panic attack in this chapter.

"Children, clasp hands."

Clarice strained against the arms of the men holding her back, glaring daggers at Campbell, wishing she could open a portal into a wall and throw him into it. She looked at the screen, seeing the terrified eyes of Lauren and Andy as they stood defiantly apart.

She glanced over at Sonya, who…

Clarice nearly collapsed, horror freezing her blood. "No…"

It was John who stood there now, with an inhibitor collar on. There were two guards on either side and half a dozen surrounding him. His expression was eerily calm, eyes softening when he saw her looking, an apologetic smile on his lips…

She shook her head, tears filling her eyes, "No…don't…"

He lunged at the doctor…

Campbell raised his gun to John's head and fired…

Clarice's eyes snapped open with a choked-off scream, hands immediately grasping at her bare throat as she tried to kick off the suffocating heat of the sheets. She blinked the tears away, her breathing harsh as she ran a hand through her sweat dampened hair…

John came into her room seconds later, no doubt hearing her from clear across the building. Without a word, he came over at sat next to her, pulling her trembling body into his arms and murmuring something she couldn't hear over her breathing.

Clarice clung to him, fingers fisting his t-shirt as she buried her face in his chest. She should've been upset or even embarrassed that he was seeing her like this, but she wasn't…not in the least. Like back in her old foster home now riddled with bullet holes and drying blood, she felt whole in his arms in a way that she couldn't really explain.

He was her home now. Her safe place.

"It's okay. I'm here." Fingers carded through her hair, "I'm here…"

The image of John's lifeless body lying on the floor with a growing pool of blood around his head flashed through her mind, sending a shudder through her and tearing a sob from her throat. Clarice squeezed her eyes shut when his arms tightened around her.

She wasn't sure how long it took for her to completely calm down, but Clarice was thankful that John had stayed. His steady heartbeat had helped, his warmth wrapping around her like a cocoon. "I'm sorry…for waking you up."

"You don't need to apologize, Clarice. Besides…" he pulled back, brushing a purple strand behind a pointed ear, one corner of his mouth lifted, "people have been coming and going for days. So trust me when I say me being awake is not entirely your doing."

She nodded, playing with the beaded bracelet on his wrist, running a finger over the zig-zag pattern. It was a beautiful piece, the leather cord tying it all together gave her the impression that it had been handmade for him. Maybe when there wasn't so much going on, she would ask him about it… She slid her fingers through his, "You're not going to ask?"

"I know better than to push you."

She sighed, "I was back in that lab with…with Campbell…" Clarice squeezed his hand when she felt him stiffen, almost keeping her from telling him the rest, "but instead of…Sonya…" her voice cracked, the name still hard say even months later, "it was you. You were the one who…"

The hand not in hers tilted her face up to his, cupping her jaw and brushing a thumb over the mark underneath her eye. He kissed her, a soft press of lips that was as gentle and grounding as he was, "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, alright?"

"You can't promise that."

His smile remained warm, but his eyes hardened, "No I can't, but what I can promise you is that I won't go anywhere without a fight…I won't leave you without a fight."

Clarice blushed, speechless at the conviction in his voice, but leaned forward to return the kiss. She pressed herself as close to him as she possibly could, threading the fingers of her free hand in his unbound hair and sliding a leg across his hips.

His palms glided down her back, leaving a trail of fire across her skin at they followed the curve of her spine and pulled them flush together. John drew back almost a minute later, seeming to sense the burning in her lungs, and smiled up at her.

"Stay with me?" The words poured out of her mouth before she'd registered herself saying it. Clarice almost hated the pleading tone in the question, a part of her still uncomfortable with allowing herself to be vulnerable with another person…to rely on someone other than herself, but the lingering images of the nightmare had her wanting him right there with her. Something solid that she could see and touch. Something real.

"Of course." He tugged her with him until his back was against the headboard and his legs stretched out in front of him. One arm curled around her body and pulled her into his side, pressing another kiss to her hair, "Always."

Clarice smiled into his shirt, the last thing she remembered before falling asleep was him pulling the sheets around them and resting his cheek against her temple.