Dying, in retrospect, was the best way to start the day.
It was also a rather interesting version of psychological torture. Hermione hadn't thought that having a person see her die then almost immediately reanimate would make them break that fast. The sobbing mess that was left of Dolores Umbridge informed her that witches and wizards were even less in the way of logic than muggles were.
To think that they believed themselves above muggles and muggleborns, believing their magic was better than anything produced by technology. Hermione would have thought that they had guessed that she and Harry were immortal already, given the number of times the two of them had been gravely injured, but if not the shivering husk of the ex-Senior Undersecretary wasn't about to be telling.
It was just too bad that she wasn't fully functional under a complete Imperius Curse after her mind had given up the fight against insanity. There wasn't too much left to her, Hermione thought as she regarded the slobbering woman idly. She supposed that she could be given to the vampires, but she doubted even the woman's blood would be free of her disgusting nature.
She would leave it up to Harry or Ron, but the two had never been particularly creative with what they did. Theirs was just the standard torture, unless they needed the body for something. Ron usually had more of a plan, while Harry's "plans" were just good luck because Harry had neverending reserves of that.
Which brought her back to the witch in front of her. Hermione took a moment to examine the woman, noting her frayed, bloodied, pink clothing, considering her glazed eyes and shallow bleeding. It would be a miracle if she lasted the night.
Perhaps… ah, they had needed a body to replace Ginny's in Azkaban. It wouldn't be too difficult to slip this woman in, especially considering Terry was stationed there. Harry had been the one that had managed to get Terry onto the island, replacing the man who was supposed to be there, and no one had been any wiser.
In Hermione's opinion, that had only shown the Ministry's ineptitude, but it had worked in their favour, so Hermione wasn't about to complain about it. Not after it had worked so successfully, anyway.
Especially when it had gotten them access to the Malfoy library.
The current Malfoy Lord was living off the rest of Harry's stint in Azkaban. Polyjuiced, of course, leaving their identities unknown to the wizarding world.
The Golden Trio were supposedly guarded by the Dementors in Azkaban, and there hadn't been a mention of an escape…
That had been Ron's brilliant plan: give themselves away, so that they could continue to work freely. The only ones who knew of their freedom were bound my their own magic into silence by a crafty little enchantment Hermione had found in the Black Library.
The pink disaster would live for a little while longer.
Written for The Ultimate Hermione Competition: Cliché Plots