Over in the Mushroom Castle, Princess Peach let out a mighty yawn, stretching her beautiful dainty arms. She'd just awoken from a wonderful nap and felt completely refreshed. Her day was going perfect; nothing could go wrong, it seemed.
As she began to arise from her bed, she heard a loud scraping sound coming from her bedroom's window. I wonder what that could be, she pondered to herself. Curious, she peered outside the castle's opening, and noticed the villainous Bowser scaling one of her stalactites.
"Oh, my!" She shrieked, covering her hands over her mouth in surprise. A low, raspy growl of laughter echoed under just beneath where Peach stood. Before Peach had time to call for help, the large Koopa heaved himself into the princess' bedroom with relative ease. Toadstool took a step back form him, not sure on what to do.
"Come on, Princess. Let's go!" He ushered her to come with him out the window; underneath it was awaiting his clown car to carry them both away. Before having time to respond, King Koopa grabbed the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, hopping into his clown car. They flew high into the crisp summer air, heading towards Bowser's evil lair.
"M-Mario! Help!" Back at the Mario Bros residence, a squeaky toad slammed on the bros' wooden door, creating a large echo within the house
"M-Mario! Help!" Back at the Mario Bros residence, a squeaky toad slammed on the bros' wooden door, creating a large echo within the house. The shrill voice of the child zombie alerted Mario, awakening him from his drunken sleep. He still had a terrible hangover, and wasn't in a good mood. Taking the unknown poisoned beer with him, he groggily stumbled over to the door, slurring incoherent babble as he waddled. Slamming open the door, he stared down at a fat red fungus who was waving his arms frantically.
"What do you want?" the Italian spoke, though it came out in such a slur that it took a moment for the toad to process what he said. Mario took a large swig of infected beer, wiping the dribble from it off his chin.
"I-it's the princess! She's been kidnapped again." The toad gasped for breath, having ran all the way from the castle to the Mario residence. A heavy, dragged out sigh came from Mario, as this would make the fourth time in just this week the princess was captured; such a pain!
"Fine, I'll get her." He grumbled, knowing that at least he'd receive some reward. A kiss and cake form Peach usually made the whole ordeal worth it, so he figured why not. Another large gulp of beer slithered down his throat, soon to secretly contaminate his bloodstream. In just a few short hours, the symptoms would occur, only to increase until his prolonged and confusing death.
"Thank you, Mari-" He slammed the door on the child's face before he could finish thanking him.
"Ey, Luigi!" The plumber's loud and aggressive voice boomed throughout the entirety of the brothers' small living space. Luigi came down the steps shortly, "Yeah, bro?" he asked.
"I'm going to go save the princess, or whatever. Don't get stuck in the drainpipe again while I'm gone." This was the moment Luigi saw it; the can of beer in Mario's hand. Looking hopefully over to the coffee table, he was delighted to see that the can was gone, meaning that it was the can in Mario's hand. He watched him in ecstasy as his brother took a drink from it. Not knowing Mario already poisoned himself earlier, he was in awe at how he watched his own brother seal his fate without even realizing it.
The only problem was that he realized he wouldn't be able to actually see Mario's death because of the kidnapping, and that was partially disappointing. Then, an idea struck him. He would come with him on the adventure. After the poison kicked in, he would drop dead before they even got home!
"Hey bro, I'll go with you."
"Uh, why? I don't need you." Mario stumbled, clutching the doorframe. His hangover was terrible, and he clearly wasn't going to get to the castle in time. This gave Luigi a perfect alibi to tag along.
"Mario, you need me to help you get to the castle. You're in no condition to go and save the princess like this!" Mario burped in response.
"Nah," waving his hands, the red brother started to walk out the door, only to be abruptly cut off by his younger sibling.
"Ey, whassa matta wit ya?"
"I'm going Mario. I only want to help you," a smile of fake sincerity was plastered onto his face. Mario, not really caring about his brother's affection, gave up and let Luigi come with him so that way he'd stop nagging him.
"Alright, fine. Get a move on."
And so, the two plumbers walked out of their door together, for what would seem to be last time.