Tony was sitting at a table outside the coffee shop. It was a warm enough night out and he figured it was better that they were outside in case there was yelling. This conversation has a ninety percent chance of getting extremely heated.

Tony was nervous. He never thought he'd ever reach the point where he'd be afraid of what Tim McGee would have to say to him. Then again, he never thought McGee would be equal to him in power and authority either. McGee had changed a lot, which was why Tony was so nervous. He didn't know what to expect from this man. All he knew was that he had to try to at least apologize properly.

Sooner than Tony would've liked, Tim had arrived and made his way over. He wanted to apologize and say his peace, but his stomach did backflips as he thought about the upcoming confrontation. "Hey."

"Hey," Tim repeated before sitting across from his former team member.

"You gonna grab coffee," Tony asked.

Tim shook his head. "No. This meeting isn't really about coffee and I need to sleep tonight, so caffeine isn't the best idea. So go ahead. Say what you want."

Tony took a deep breath. "Okay, first I want to tell you again that I'm sorry for what happened today at that crime scene. You were right. I had no business bringing up personal issues like that in the field, especially since I knew it would only cause friction. It was my fault. Don't blame Ziva."

"it was both your faults. You for bringing it up and her for not letting the matter drop. But I said what I needed to about it and you both seem to get the point, so apology accepted," Tim said.

Tony nodded. "I also want to apologize for how I reacted when I first found out you were in charge." He hadn't started ridiculing the man or anything, but he had taken brief offense to having to work under his command and he had believed that McGee wasn't good enough to lead his own team. The last part was proven wrong pretty damn quickly.

Tim shrugged. "I expected that reaction from you. In fact, I expected it to be worse."

"It wasn't right. I guess I was kind of put out t having to take orders from my own probie," Tony said.

"You also didn't think I could do it," Tim commented.

Tony's first instinct was to deny that statement, even though it was true. He didn't want McGee to know he thought that way or to admit how wrong he'd been, but if he really wanted forgiveness, he needed to own up to his faults completely. There could be no more lies. "Yes. I never pictured anything other than the insecure computer geek I knew five years ago. When I saw that the only desk left was the team leader's when we got here, I assumed you'd left. It never even occurred to me that you might have moved up. When I found out you did, I can't deny that a part of me thought that somebody screwed up. I was wrong. You're not how you used to be. You're so much different now."

"I had to be," Tim said in a slightly cool tone.

"Did you know when I left that you'd be moving up?" Tony asked curiously. He'd wondered that since Brooks pretty much told him that the director spend those first two years grooming him for the job.

"I knew since the day you told us you were transferring. I didn't tell you because I didn't feel you had a right to the information," Tim told him, already anticipating the question.

Tony was hurt by the last statement, but he knew that it was true. He didn't have a right to it, and honestly, if he had known, he probably would've said something that made things worse for the soon to be team leader. He already knew he wouldn't have been respectful of the idea. He would've said something hurtful. "You're right, I didn't. I was an ass."

A quick nod was Tim's only reply.

"Ziva thinks that I don't care that I hurt you all, but that's not true," Tony said.

"I know it's not. I know you care now. We wouldn't be having this conversation right now if you didn't. But it doesn't matter if you care now. You showed no concern at all for anyone when you left. That's what matters."

"I know. I guess I was still trying to be Gibbs then and failed miserably," Tony said glumly.

Tim laughed humorlessly. "I beg to differ. You not only passed, you excelled. For the life of me though, I don't know why you'd ever think that's a good thing. You experienced Gibbs' 'goodbye' just like the rest of us, Tony. Was there really so much to admire and be proud of?"

"I wasn't angry at Gibbs then, at least not that I realized. I didn't start to get angry until today. When I realized what I'd done, I realized what he had and I started getting angry," Tony said.

"What you've done. You think you know what you've done?" Tim asked coldly.

"Yeah. I know I hurt everyone," Tony said sadly.

"No, you don't! You don't know what it was like when you left. You and Gibbs broke the team. We were all already reeling from Gibbs walking out and then you did the same! You broke Abby and Ziva all over again! Things were a mess! They had to deal with a new boss, new coworkers. They were forced to pick up their lives from the second painful event in a month! They had to deal with a plethora of abandonment issues that you created! Do you know how many times I had assure Abby that I wasn't going to be next?" Tim asked angrily. He'd told himself he would listen and not judge at least until Tony finished, but that wasn't working out great. Anger took over mere seconds after this conversation started.

Tony noticed that McGee hadn't mentioned himself at all, probably not wanting to let him know that he was hurt too. Tony knew he was though. He could see it, even if the younger man wouldn't voice it. "I didn't want to hurt anyone."

"You didn't give one thought to us," Tim said.

"It's not that I didn't care about what you were feeling. I just chose not to think about it. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to feel the guilt of hurting you. I didn't want to be burdened with whatever you were feeling. And you don't have to say it. It makes me a selfish SOB," Tony said.

"You think?" Tim deadpanned.

"I wanted to leave and not feel bad about it, like Gibbs did. He left after a few words and it seemed to have no effect on him. He moved on. That was what I wanted," Tony explained.

"Selfish SOB works for Gibbs too."

Tony nodded in agreement. "I wouldn't let myself think about it before, but thinking back, I know how cold my goodbye was."

"Goodbye? There was no goodbye, Tony. You told us you were leaving and then went back to business as usual. You didn't give us a chance to even react to it. You acted like you'd worked with us for a few months instead of years and we nothing to you. That is not a goodbye," he said.

"No, I guess not. I really didn't mean to hurt you all. I just couldn't stay. Gibbs leaving was really painful and I couldn't stay without him," Tony said sadly as he looked down at his coffee.

"It was for all of us. We all had to deal with his leaving. Then we had to deal with you leaving," Tim said.

"And you all stayed and worked through it. I get it. I know I'm a coward for leaving," Tony said. Gibbs words him earlier were true. He just didn't have the right to say them.

"I don't consider you a coward for leaving, Tony. For the way you left, yeah I do. I consider you a bastard for it as well. Although, on the matter of you leaving, I do wanna know why you didn't come to us before you made the decision to leave. We could've at least tried to help you," Tim said. He would've helped Tony if he'd asked. They all could've banded together to try to get through it.

"Because you weren't supposed to help me. I was the leader. I was the one that was supposed to help the others and I couldn't. I couldn't help anyone. I couldn't lead you. Every time I sat in Gibbs' desk, it felt wrong. Every time I even walked through the bullpen and he wasn't there, it felt wrong. Didn't it feel that way to you?" Tony asked.

"At first," Tim admitted. "Having a new person at the head desk felt very weird and abnormal, as did having a new agent to take my place as junior agent. Adjusting to all of it took time."

"And you managed. I couldn't. I didn't see a point where I would be okay staying here," Tony said.

"Then you should've said that. We still wouldn't have wanted you to go, but we would've respected your decision. You should've come to us and told you how you felt instead of walking away with barely a few words and treating us like acquaintances that you pretend you never knew later," Tim said.

"I know. I'm sorry, McGee. Is there anyway for me to fix it?" Tony asked.

"No. But maybe we can try to start over," Tim said. After listening to Tony, he realized that the man had really only acted out of pain. He was far from off the hook and Tim knew there was no way they'd ever have the relationship they once did, but he was willing to try to forgive and give him another chance.

"Really?" Tony asked hopefully.

"It'll never be how it was. You need to know that now. I'm too different," Tim said.

"I know. Thanks, Tim," Tony said.

Tim nodded. "We should both get out of here now. Tomorrow promises to be as long as today was."

Tony stood up to leave. "Thanks again for listening and for giving me another chance."

"See you tomorrow," Tim said before heading out.