Daisy tumbled, weightless, through a tie-dye sky of clouds. It did not feel like falling, it felt like the world around them was falling. Waluigi clung to his hat and swam through the air past her, touching down on a cloud like solid ground. He offered a hand to help her down and she ignored it, opting to land on her own. To her surprise, she sailed right through the cloud.
"What am I doing wrong?!" she said.
"Pretend like it's solid!" Waluigi said. "The Dream World will take a minute to connect."
Daisy made another pass at landing, this time forcing herself to accept Waluigi's hand. He presumed to steady her by the waist over the cloud, and the ground firmed beneath her. She was about to tell him off when she saw the world around them take shape. Tall boxy green hills with wavy patterns erupted all around them, bean stalk vines reached for a robin's egg blue sky, ostro birds dashed across open plains, and dozens of waterfalls sparkled in the distance.
"Huh," Daisy said. She glanced up at Waluigi who continued to hold her and watched as the Dream World came into focus. He turned his attention back to her with eyes softened with a mote of concern. She had an insult ready, something about how a ghoul like him had no right to touch her, but found herself lingering in the moment with him.
"It looks pretty good, right?" Wanda said. "I told you it was beautiful!"
"Buh-wha?!" Daisy pushed Waluigi aside before anyone had reason to comment on the physical contact. "Wanda? What're you doing here?!"
She looked confused. "What'd you mean?"
"Aren't we like, inside of your head or something?"
"Oh, don't be silly! I'm not Wanda, I'm Dreamy Wanda. The part of her heart that's connected to the Dream World right now!"
Waluigi cleared his throat. "She's, ah… acting as the gateway. She'll also be our lifeline to get back. Think of her as a projection of the real Wanda. But keep in mind that unlike her, you and I are PHYSICALLY in this world. Meaning we can get hurt."
"Yeah!" Wanda said, "So don't die!"
"I suppose you two know more about this than I would," Daisy said. "Where do we go from here?"
"Let's go to the palace," Wanda said. "The king probably knows what's going on!"
"Ehhh…" Waluigi mumbled something and looked away. "Nah. Let's not waste our time on that clown. I say we just scout around and see if any civilians stuck around."
"What's wrong with talking to the king?" Daisy said. "Do you got something against royalty?!"
He looked down at her. "Apart from how monarchies demand taxes with no guarantee of government representation for the working class?"
"Hey!" Daisy said. "I make sure my citizens are well taken care of!"
Waluigi threw out his arms. "You used tax money to build a personal cruise ship with a baseball stadium on it!"
Daisy stumbled to think of an argument. "Okay," she said. "But in my defense, it was a really cool ship."
"That's true," Waluigi said.
"Anyway, our goal is to find and stop this Wart guy, right? Is there a reason NOT to ask the king for information?"
Waluigi looked away. He was hiding something.
"What's wrong?" Daisy said.
"Nothing," he said.
She sighed. "Look, what if Wart has already taken over the castle? Wouldn't it make sense to check there first?"
"Ugh!" Waluigi threw his head back in frustration. "Fine! We'll go to the castle if it will make you happy! Sheesh!" He stomped off and Daisy and Wanda followed him.
His foul mood persisted as they made their way across Subcon. It was obvious there was something bothering Waluigi but it felt too awkward to pry. He clearly did not want to talk about it.
They hopped their way up the path of the long hill they were climbing and Waluigi and Wanda froze when they crested the summit. Ahead, the hillocks gave way to ruin. The idyllic fields of the Dream World were scarred by long gashes and chasms boiling with angry black mist.
"Is this normal?" Daisy said. "I have no point of reference. I'm getting the vibe this is not normal."
"It is not," Waluigi said.
Ostro birds and hoopster ladybugs fled across the terrain below as fissures opened under their feet. Some tumbled into the mist while others escaped. The three of them crossed paths with the critters as they descended, but by the time they reached the bottom, the path ahead resembled an ice floe: Fractured patches of land drifting on a cruel sea. It was only after they had a chance to take it all in that they thought to look up. High in the clouds above the mountains, a stone palace sat overlooking it all. The world around the castle was contorted, the sky a black hole, like it was pulling the rest of the Dream World toward it, sucking it in.
Daisy pointed at the palace. "Okay, that's gotta be the problem right there. Right?"
"Wow. Nice detective work," Waluigi said. "I don't think we're walking there."
"Well, we can't just turn back! We need to think of something," Daisy said.
"Don't worry!" Wanda said. "I got this one, I think!"
She shut her eyes and clenched her fists, concentrating. An extra Wanda, an exact duplicate, popped into existence right next to her. And then another appeared, and another and another, bursting to life like popcorn kernels until there was a whole battalion of Wandas. Daisy gaped. How? There was not a single double cherry in sight.
"Is THIS normal?"
"Extremely normal," Waluigi said. "She's dreaming so she can do things like this here."
Daisy gave up trying to follow the rules of this place.
"I have an idea, guys!" All the Wandas said simultaneously.
"Oh, ew, don't all speak at the same time, that's creepy," Daisy said.
"Sorry! Oops, I mean, sorry."
The Wandas flew off and came back working together to carry a red tree log.
"Get on!" A Wanda said. "I'll give you a ride up to the castle!"
Daisy did not feel at ease being carried into the stratosphere by a team of wimpy sprixies hefting a big hunk of wood. But Waluigi got on without complaint so now she HAD to get on to avoid looking like a coward. They rose off the ground, unsteady at first, but the Wandas pumped their wings hard and fast and then they were soaring.
"Hang on!" Wanda said, and Daisy did.
The world darkened as they approached the castle in the clouds. Searchlights swung across the unnatural night sky and the low rumble of music could be heard. The castle was a concert hall, complete with red carpet and velvet rope. All of Subcon spiraled toward it like a whirlpool and even they barreled toward it.
"Slow down!" Waluigi said. "You're going too fast!"
"I can't!" Wanda said, her doubles now all trying to flap against the air current.
Daisy readied herself and jumped off just before Wanda and the log crashed. She tucked into a graceful roll and got up to survey the damage.
A dozen Wandas were sprawled out, moaning and sore, while Waluigi was stuck upside down in the clouds.
A ninji with a little bowtie waddled up to them. "You here for the concert? Valet parking for your ride is only five coins!"
"Uh, sure," Daisy said.
The ninji exchanged her coins for a claim ticket and dragged the log out of sight.
Daisy took a moment to collect the scattered Wandas into one pile and pluck Waluigi from the ground. They shook off their stupor and took in their surroundings. The concert hall was lit up against a pitch-black void. Posters were plastered over every surface advertising the world tour of Wart and the 8-Bits. The whole place vibrated with the tuning of instruments and the chatter of unseen people.
"He really has taken over the palace again," Waluigi said.
The front gate appeared to be converted into a ticketing area complete with turnstiles. Daisy looked around for a better point of entry but was interrupted when a red door with a white knocker POOFED into existence in the air overhead. The door swung open, a human man tumbled out onto the ground, and the door vanished.
"Oh no!" Wanda said. She fused with her doubles and raced over to check on the man.
Daisy hurried over to help. He was unhurt, even though at first glance he appeared stretched and deformed. He was dressed in a suit and a fedora and was freakishly tall with tiny facial features. Odds are he was from New Donk City or nearby. Daisy knew the humans around that area had bizarre body proportions.
"Are you okay?" Wanda said.
"Well, this is a fine how do you do!" the New Donker got to his feet and adjusted his hat. "Now just how did I get to this cockamamie cloud castle? Last thing I recall, I was out having my morning constitutional when I was accosted by a pack of colorful rapscallions!"
Waluigi examined the man, checking his eyes, prodding him, and lifting a handful of coins from his back pocket.
"You're dreaming," Waluigi concluded. "Which is peculiar. Wahhh. Dreamers shouldn't appear this deep inside Subcon."
"Why not?" Daisy said.
"Security risk," Waluigi said. "The castle is connected to the Stars and the Dream Depot through the Dream Machine. This place is supposed to be protected by Sprixie magic."
"Someone must have brought him here by force!" Wanda said.
"But why?" Daisy said. "He looks like a random nobody."
"I resent that remark!" The New Donker said. "Why, I'll have you know I maintain an extremely important newspaper delivery route!"
More doors poofed into existence overhead, dumping a truckload of misshapen New Donker men and women onto the ground alongside a single yellow macaw parrot wearing a cowboy hat. The mound of victims groaned out quips of "Well, I never!" and "What in blazes?!" as they untangled themselves.
"It's lookin' like another batch is ready!"
Daisy turned and spotted a team of snifits blocking the way back. They aimed their gun muzzle mouths at the group.
"Alright yous chumps!" a blue snifit said, moving in. "Do as we say and no one has to get hurt!"
There was a general murmur of agreement among the New Donkers that they were all in favor of going unharmed. Daisy rolled up her sleeves, getting ready to brawl.
"Wait," Waluigi said. "Let's see where this goes first."
Daisy gave him an annoyed look but put down her dukes. She supposed she could thrash these losers as the need arose but still hated to get bossed around by enemy cannon fodder. She swallowed her pride and allowed them to lead the way inside.