Wanda circled overhead, patrolling the airspace around the temple to watch for Mario.
"Stop squirming," Waluigi said as he tightened the ropes. "You know this is just for show, right?"
"I can't help it!" Daisy said, feeling her skin crawl as she let him tie her up. "Unlike SOME people, I did not enjoy the time I got kidnapped and made a point to not let it happen again."
"What, you think Peach is into it?"
Probably not, Daisy thought. Peach was disgustingly wholesome in the most boring way possible.
"Oh, definitely," Daisy said. "That or she just lets it happen so guys fight over her. Whichever makes you think she's more messed up."
Waluigi took a step back to admire their handiwork. Daisy felt ridiculous. She was wearing a platinum wig and a tacky pink dress they managed to thrift from a local wasteland boutique. It was not perfect, but they did not have the time to nail Peach's bougie pastel aesthetic. They got close enough thanks to Waluigi tailoring a few different dresses together on the fly. The rest of the 'scene' was cobbled together out of Wanda's blocks and whatever was handy in the nearby ruins.
"Well, it'll fool Mario at least," Waluigi said.
"Guys!" Wanda zipped towards them, trailing sparkles, and flailing her arms and legs. "He's coming! Get ready!"
Waluigi lifted Daisy over his shoulder and sprinted to stick her on the end of a hooked rope over a quicksand pit.
"Just like we rehearsed, got it?" he said.
"I KNOW what I'm doing," Daisy said.
Waluigi ran to get into position as the doors of the temple ground open. Mario puttered out the door with a look of blank satisfaction. Fireworks went off over the pyramids to celebrate him solving a millennia old riddle or whatever.
"Psst, hey!" Waluigi said, sticking his head out from behind cover. "Don't just sit there! He's walking the wrong way! Struggle and try to get his attention!"
She glared at him. "Oh, now you WANT me to squirm?"
"Just do it!"
Daisy rolled her eyes and wriggled on the end of her hook like a worm.
"Help! Please, someone help me!"
No, that was not quite right. She needed to channel Peach. Her pleas needed to be bigger, more pathetic. She needed to milk it.
"Oooohhhh Nooo!" Daisy said, disgusted with herself. "Won't SOMEONE help a poor helpless wittle pwincess? Maaaario! Please come help me. I can't do anything by myself!"
Mario perked up and turned his head. "Whoa!" He said, eyes wide. He scampered in her direction.
"Oh! Mario! There you are!" Daisy said, trying her best to sound both dumb and entitled. "It's me, your rich hot friend Princess Peach. As you can see, I've gotten into another little oopsy and need your help."
He looked at her, and at the jerry-rigged death trap, and his brow arched to suggest doubt.
"Hm?" he said.
Daisy felt a trickle of sweat. Was he smarter than they gave him credit for or was the disguise that bad? It was time to pump the gas.
"Ohhh no!" Daisy said. "It looks like the TRAP has been activated."
She waited, then cleared her throat. "I said the TRAP has been—"
The rope gave a little as Waluigi lowered her gently towards the quicksand. Mario reeled back bug-eyed with concern. He charged forward to save her.
"No! Wait!" Daisy said. "There's a bomb! You have to deactivate it before you can save me!"
She kicked her feet in the direction of a nearby pedestal. It was a bunch of Wanda's blocks painted to look ancient and mystical with a little plaque reading 'Please Deposit Dream Gems to Deactivate Bomb.'
"Please Mario!" Daisy said, "If you solve the puzzle, you can TOTALLY save me!"
Mario glanced back at her, looking skeptical. Waluigi gave the rope another couple inches of slack and Daisy kicked against the top of the quicksand.
"Eeek!" She said, "Please hurry! I am going to die!"
Seized by some sort of instinct for heroism, Mario emptied his pockets and dropped three dream gems into the pedestal.
"Buh huh huh huh huh!" A cute, booming voice shouted. "You've fallen right into my trap!"
A hulking figure lumbered onto the scene, towering over Mario.
"It is I, BLOCKO, the EVIL BAD GUY," Wanda said, who was puppeting a bunch of blocks in the shape of a large evil dude. She was riding inside them like a robot. "You see, you may think that you can rescue the Princess, but instead I will destroy you!"
Mario leapt to confront this new villain with a fierce look of determination. Behind him, Waluigi crept up to the pedestal and fished out the dream gems.
"Listen to me Mario!" Daisy said. "The evil Blocko gets a power boost any time you look away from him! Whatever you do, don't take your eyes off him!"
"Huh huh huh!" Wanda said with all the menace of a toddler. "Even if Mario knows my secret, there is no way he can beat me! Because I am much too evil!"
Mario performed a serious of acrobatic jumps off some nearby ruins and landed right on top of Blocko's head. Blocko immediately fell apart into a big messy pile of blocks with a tiny shriek.
"Oh, uh," Daisy said, not expecting it to be over so quick. "You did it! Good Job, Mario. Now please come over here and save me."
Mario hurried over and stopped at the edge of the quicksand. His eyes lit up. "Daisy?" he said.
Great. The one time someone recognized her was the one time she did not want it to happen.
"Er, hey Mario," she said. "Okay, I confess. I'm not actually Princess Peach. But I'm still grateful for you saving me and I would also really appreciate it if you keep staring at me like that for just a couple more seconds."
Waluigi pushed Mario from behind and he toppled face first into the quicksand. Daisy flexed her muscles and the ropes exploded off her. She jumped off Mario's back on her way down to push him deeper and to get enough airtime to reach solid ground.
"Thanks for the help plumber boy!" Daisy said.
"We gotta run, but we'll see you at the tennis tourney!" Waluigi said.
Mario flailed and fought to climb out of the sand, inching his way back to the surface. They made a mad dash to get away before he could get out, laughing. Wanda punched her way out of her block pile and flew after them.
"He looks pretty mad!" Wanda said.
"Sore losers always are!" Daisy said. "C'mon, let's get out of here before he catches us!"
"Weheheheh!" Waluigi cackled, carrying an armload of dream gems as they sped across the sands. "Let that sucker try! By the time he finds us, we'll already be heroes!"