The oasis outside the restaurant sparkled in the sun as Daisy lounged at their table under the shade. Waluigi took his feet off the table as the waiter, a little mouser wearing a keffiyeh, came to set down their drinks.

"I've got a chuckola cola for the goomba and the spiny and a prisma juice for the sprixie," the waiter said. "Looks like a special occasion!"

"Something like that," Waluigi said, keeping his eyes hidden under the spiny shell helmet he was wearing. "You should know I tip better when my server doesn't ask questions."

"Say no more!" he said and excused himself. "Let me just go ask the chef how your shroom steaks are doing…"

Daisy took in the aroma of her vintage red cola but could not help but look over her shoulder.

"You sure Mario won't find us here?"

Waluigi savored the first sip of his drink. "Just keep your disguise on until the heat dies down."

Daisy adjusted the paper mâché goomba hat she was wearing. She produced a bag and placed the four dream gems on the table: Blue, purple, yellow, and green.

"Only one more to go," she said.

Waluigi took the purple one and rolled it in his palm, a satisfied smirk on his face. "Good heist, everyone! We really put one over on the big red M. That was beautiful."

Wanda slumped into the tray of her highchair. "Did… did I do the right thing? I don't like tricking Mario. It feels wrong!"

"Listen, everyone feels guilty after pulling their first scheme," Waluigi said. "It'll be easier next time."

Wanda slammed her juice down. "I don't want there to be a next time! I want to go back and apologize to Mario!"

"Well, it's too late for that," Waluigi said. "There's no going back. You're a con artist now."

"NOOO!" Wanda said, horrified. "I don't wanna be a bad guy! I'm trying to help you two be good!"

"Hey, don't blame ME," Waluigi said. "The Stars make the rules. If they decide you're evil, you might as well embrace it since they'll never let another one of your evil wishes come true."

"Quit teasing her," Daisy said, swirling her drink. "Wanda is helping us be heroes out of the kindness of her pure cotton candy and rainbow heart. We should be grateful." Even if it was easy and hilarious to pick on her.

"Yeah! Meanie!"

Waluigi shrugged. "Okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to help you sleep at night." He took another drink and leaned toward Daisy. "Me and you, though. We can be master thieves together, right?"

"I suppose," Daisy said. "But I haven't figured out my next mark yet."

Waluigi gave her a look that lingered. He was thinking something, but he was mulling over how to say it.

"Well, you've got Peach scared," he said. "It sounds like she thinks you're gonna snatch Mario from her."

"Ha. I mean, I don't blame her. I think the guy was into me for a hot minute."

"Really?" Wanda said.

"That didn't last long, though. I suspect the guy just has a thing for tall girls in dresses. Once he got to know me he moved on."

Waluigi looked appalled. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, obviously, because I'm perfect." Daisy flicked her hair for emphasis. "But not everyone can handle my intensity, least of all Mario."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "But Luigi can handle you?"

Daisy almost spilled her drink laughing. "What make you think I'm interested in that pipsqueak?"

"I thought you two were an item," he said.

"Why would you think THAT?"

"There's a giant statue of you dancing with him!" he said.

Daisy face palmed. "Oh, Stars. I FORGOT about that. Alright, the thing about that is PEACH had that thing made."

"Whaa?! Why?"

"I don't know!" It felt ridiculous just thinking about it. "She talked me into being tennis partners with Luigi way back so she could pair up with Mario and it turned into her trying to play match maker. Maybe she thought it was it was cute to have these two brothers both dating princesses? That or she heard about the one time Mario rescued me and wanted to keep me out of her territory."

Waluigi shook his head. "So, you haven't even dated?"

Daisy sighed. "Peach set me up on a couple dates with him. Framed it as needing a favor, since splitting those twins up is hard sometimes."

"How'd THAT go?"

"It was SUPER awkward. I mean, he was nice enough, but we didn't have much to talk about."

"What about racing? Sports? He shows up for everything."

"That's the weird thing!" Daisy said. "He doesn't have opinions on ANY of it. Like, I start talking about technique and all I get is nods and uh-huhs. It makes me think he only shows up for stuff to hang out with Mario."

"Pathetic. What's even the point if you're not there to win?" Waluigi said.

"Right?! You get it!" Daisy said. "So, Peach asks how the date went and I tell her it was fine or whatever and the next thing I know she gifts me TWO giant, twenty ton solid gold statues of me and Luigi as lovers. And, may I point out, one of those statues depicts us as literal infants. The tabloids would not shut up about it."

"Wait. Is she actually insane? Hold on, no, YOU'RE the crazy one. You actually KEPT them."

"What was I supposed to do? REFUSE the gift of a political superpower? She spent MILLIONS of tax coins on those things. All I could do was politely display them for the grand prix and then quietly melt them down afterward for spare cash."

"Okay, that's smart," Waluigi said and leaned back. "I respect you again."

She grinned. "You better, if you know what's good for you."

"Actually, since you mentioned infants… …can you tell me what the deal is with those baby versions of everybody?"

"Who? Baby Mario, baby Peach, et al.?" Daisy said.

"Yeah. Where'd they come from?" he said.

"No idea."

He nearly spat out his drink. "But one of them is YOU!"

"Look. I don't remember time traveling to the future to play baseball. All I know is that weirdo E. Gadd showed up with them one day and said it was very important that they participate. I tried to get him to explain what was going on and he started in on all this jargon about temporal rifts and parallel butterflies and some guy's cat so I gave up and bought my baby self a crown so we match."

"But…" Waluigi was flabbergasted. "But you could like… warn yourself about the future or something."

"She's a BABY, Waluigi. She's great at go-karts but I don't think she understands a word I say." She finished off her cola. "So I'm not going to worry about it. I don't wanna be like Rosalina. She had a COMPLETE MELT DOWN when she saw her baby version and won't talk to anyone about why."

He leaned back. "I guess that makes sense."

The waiter came through to refill their drinks. They muttered their thanks and fell into a reflective moment of quiet.

"So… uh," Waluigi said. "If you're not with Luigi… does that mean you're single?"

Daisy sat on that question a moment, eyeing him with suspicion.

"Yeah, I guess. What's it to you?"

"Nothing." He took a sudden interest in the oasis outside. "I'm just surprised, is all. I figured you had suitors banging down your door."

Not quite. Sure, a couple big names had taken an interest before, but they usually turned tail when she let the mask drop. Not many people can handle that. Daisy was not sure ANYONE could. Whatever. It was not like it mattered. The Sarasaland crown did not guarantee lasting power. You could not marry into luxury like with other royals. And since she spent all her time running her country and training for tournaments, she really did not have time left to date.

Thinking about that made her lonely.

"I'm not interested in weak men," she decided. "If a guy can't at least keep up with me, they aren't worth my time."

He weighed this. "You want them to be stronger than you?"

"I'm not going to ask for the impossible," Daisy said.

"No, it's fine," Waluigi said. "If you want to date me you can just say so. I promise to let you down easy. Just like whenever I beat you at go-karts."

She scoffed. "Is that so? Well, addendum to my list of requirements: The guy needs to be drop dead gorgeous too."

"So literally just me then, huh." He shook his head. "I had no idea you had it that hard for me."

"Oh, shut up," she said, unable to help smiling. Maybe it was the cola talking but the thought of being with Waluigi did not repulse her the way it should. If there was one thing he had going for him, it was that she could say and do whatever she wanted and it did not seem to faze him. That was nice. Even if he looked like someone stretched a clown out too thin.

Wanda sucked her juice through a straw, watching the two of them like she was expecting something to happen.

Daisy cleared her throat. "So, uh. What should our next move be?"

"Wuh?" The question threw him off guard. "Our next move, you mean…"

She pointed at the dream gems.

"Oh!" His mind must have been somewhere else. "Well, I was thinking—"

Just then the waiter came with their shroom steaks and the two of them scrambled to hide the gems from him. They dismissed him with some hurried thank yous which kept Wanda from asking for a juice refill.

"I was hoping Mario would have the last gem too," Waluigi said. "But it looks like we still have work to do."

"I've been thinking about it," Daisy said. "I think we should check New Donk City."

He looked confused. "The Metro Kingdom? Why there?"

"We saw some New Donkers in Sub Con. If the 8-bits are up to something there, one of the dream gems might be nearby."

"That's right!" Waluigi said. "You're a genius!"

She beamed at his praise. "And beautiful too."

Waluigi hesitated to answer, his eyes darting. Steam rose off their shroom steaks as her empty bragging seemed to derail whatever was going on in his head.

"Of course, yes." He coughed. "We'll head out right after this, then. Excellent."

Wanda's straw squelched as she tried to suck the last droplets of juice out of her empty bottle. Her eyes darted between them in questioning silence.