Daisy piled into the passenger seat and buckled in as Waluigi peeled out down the inner-city street. He followed the trail of collateral damage, weaving around rubble and sleeping pedestrians until they got within sight of the tour tank. Mouser looking back at them, standing on the roof of the moving vehicle. He produced a black bomb with a lit fuse from behind his back and sneered at them.
"Hold on!" Waluigi veered hard to the left as a bomb bounced off the road and exploded. Daisy ducked as the side window burst spraying glass over her head. She didn't even have a chance to sit up before Waluigi lurched the car from a second bomb and then a third. The tires squealed as they rounded the corner of Troff Street onto Scoff Boulevard.
"We're not getting any closer!" Daisy said. "Let me drive!"
"Shut up!" Waluigi said, threading his way through explosions, "I've got this!"
He was a fine driver but that was not going to cut it. Daisy peered around the inside of the taxi for ideas and noticed a baseball bat wedged into the floor of the taxi. Maybe this was the cab driver's idea of dealing with problem clients. She grabbed the bat and unfastened her safety belt.
"What'dya think you're doing?!" Waluigi said, trying to keep his eyes on the road.
"Keep us steady! I'll handle this!"
She pulled herself through the broken window and double jumped onto the roof of the car. They were going so fast her footing was shaky, but she steadied her balance and took a batting stance.
"I don't know if you noticed but they're hucking BOMBS at us!" Waluigi shouted over the roar of the engine.
"Just trust me!" Daisy yelled back.
"You're going to get us killed!"
She did not get to become princess by playing things safe. She blew a raspberry at Mouser and he glared back. The overgrown rodent wound up a pitch and served.
CRACK. The bomb went wide, and a billboard was blasted to smithereens.
"Foul ball!" Waluigi chided over the noise.
"Strike one," Daisy muttered. She was touched Waluigi kept the car steady. If he tried to dodge now, she would go flying. He trusted her enough to pull this off after all.
Mouser looked amused. It was a game now. He mimed the posture of a pitcher and served a fast ball. The bomb sailed past and Daisy whiffed. She heard an explosion and now someone had an insurance claim.
"Strike two!" Waluigi said.
The rat was laughing at her. Daisy tightened her posture. No more mistakes. Time to end this.
Mouser lobbed the bomb and it arced high. Daisy gasped as she tracked its fall. He was not aiming for her anymore, it was going to land just in front of the cab out of her reach. She charged down the hood of the car to close the gap and swung. CRACK. The bomb flew back the way it came and exploded. BOOM. Mouser toppled over the edge of the bus and tumbled across the pavement as Daisy fell on her butt against the windshield.
"Watch what you're doing!" Waluigi said. "I can't see!"
"You're welcome, I guess! Yeesh!" Daisy pushed against the wind to stand. The rear of the tour bus was gouged out by the explosion and she could see inside. "Get us close! I can jump in!"
"You want to game over that bad? You're crazy!"
"Just do it!"
Waluigi hit the gas and the dinky cab accelerated as fast as it could. Beezos fluttered out the back of the tour bus, flying at her with spears. Daisy batted them out of the way, chucking the bat at the last one before the bus came within arm's reach. She hopped on and watched the cab slow down.
"Don't screw this up!" Waluigi shouted through the smoke of the overheating taxicab engine.
"I got this!" she said.
Daisy spun to charge deeper into the bus. A whole gaggle of shy guys and snifits waddled and scampered up to block her, leaving her no choice but to punch and kick a path through them. They scattered after she tossed one or two of the minions out the back of the bus.
"What's going on back there?!" Fryguy shouted from the bridge. "Why's everyone screaming?!"
Daisy swaggered into the next room ready to bust some heads. Fryguy burned bright in the engine furnace, a blazing fire powering the bus. Beyond him was Tryclyde at the helm, the steering wheel gripped in two of their mouths. The middle head glanced back and spotted her.
"We've been breached!"
"Don't let her get onto the roof!" Fryguy said. "Wart will be positively LIVID if we lose that little dream gem!"
Tryclyde let go of the steering wheel a moment and the bus drifted just enough to grind against the nearest skyscraper. They snapped the wheel back into its mouth out of panic.
"We mussst steer, or we'll crash!" Tryclyde said.
"Fine, fine, then I'll get rid of her myself yeesh."
Fryguy hopped out of the furnace and puffed his cheeks up in irritation.
"Alright you phony little talent scout!" he said. "You gonna play with fire? Prepare to get burned!"
"Whoa!" Daisy rolled out of the way as Fryguy spat a hail of fireballs. She felt the bus slow under her feet as she dodged. They were coasting on inertia. She made a break for the ladder to the roof, but he herded her away with suppressive fire.
"Is this any way to treat a guest?" Daisy said.
"Teatime's over, moppet! It's dinner time and your goose is cooked!"
Fryguy took a deep breath to ready another barrage. Half the room was up in flames already. Daisy looked for something, anything, to use. A coffee pot rattled on a service cart in the corner. She lunged to grab it.
"But you look so parched!" Daisy said as she splashed Fryguy with the last of the stale coffee. "One more cup won't hurt!"
"WHOAOOF!" Fryguy said before bursting apart in a puff of steam into a few pint-sized embers. They shrieked and jeered at her in little voices too high pitched to make out.
"Fryguy!" Tryclyde gasped before gripping the wheel again before the bus collided with something. "You'll pay for that, Daisy!"
"Hey, you remembered my name," she said, "I must be doing something right!"
Tryclyde let go of the wheel and leapt at her with a snarl. The bus coasted as Daisy went back to dodging fireballs.
"You want us to crash?!" Daisy said.
"Shut up!" Tryclyde said. "You're toasted!"
A high-pitched whine caught Daisy's ear. She glanced down the length of the bus out the back and spotted a motor scooter gaining on the slowing bus outside.
It was Waluigi.
Tryclyde and Daisy watched as he ramped the little scooter off a ramp of rubble into the tour bus and bailed. The scooter sped down the bus and slammed into Tryclyde.
"Oorgh!" they said, their heads flailing before collapsing onto the bus controls. The bus shook as it carved out the side of some office building or another and brought the whole thing to a halt.
"Ugh," Daisy said. She looked up from the floor and saw Waluigi offering a hand to help her up. "About time you showed up."
He smirked. "Sorry, you know how city traffic is."
Daisy got on her feet with a renewed appreciation for the importance of seat belts. She looked up at the ladder to the roof of the bus.
"Ladies first," Waluigi said.
As if she needed his permission. She scaled the rungs and pushed open the hatch at the top.