So - sorry I missed posting last night. I confess to watching the series ending of my (current) favorite TV show (sniff, sniff).

One of my wonderful reviewers asked me whether I was still in Colorado - nope - I'm in Washington DC this week, attendingtwo separate conferences/meetings. I have to give a speech tomorrow, in front of a few hundred people so of course I'm writing about Jack and Sam! Much more fun, I assure you.

Oh - I'm not going to write too many chapters for this story - I will finish off my other story soon and I still have one which I've started and that's waiting to get published.

And really good news ... I"m home next week and not going ANYWHERE! Yeah - I get to reintroduce myself to my family.

And so ... on to the world of Stargate ...

"Where the hell is he?"

"Probably undercover somewhere. You know he'd come if he could."

"He would – if they've even told him what's happened. Knowing them they've kept it from him for some greater good. God damn it, the Colonel's right – they're a bunch of snake-headed ass-holes!"

"Uh Sam, I don't think that's anatomically possible. And anyway you do know your father is one of those – uh – ass-holes now, don't you?"

"Of course I do." She suddenly frowned. "I didn't mean that the way it came out. I know he'd be here if he could – but I expect the damn Tokra haven't told him."

"You're probably right, but I'm sure they'll tell him as soon as they can."

Sam turned quickly and glared at her friend. "How come you're defending them all of a sudden? Have you suddenly become best friends with the Tokra?"

"Of course not, but there's no point in getting mad at them. They are what they are -"

"Aaaargh!" she screamed, looking like she wanted to shoot him. "I know that – but they're still ass-holes! And if the Colonel was here he'd agree with me."

"If Jack was here we wouldn't be having this conversation", Daniel answered gently.

That stopped her dead, and she looked at Daniel, her eyes going glassy with unshed tears.

"Oh God Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that." Daniel stuck his hand through his hair. "I'm frustrated too – it's just that it's not going to do any good to shout at the Tokra. For one, they're not here and two, it wouldn't change their minds if they were. I know they're a pain – but sooner or later your father will show up, and then we can ask him to help Jack."

"What if he can't help?" she asked in a small voice. "What if it's too late, or the healing device doesn't work. There's no way he'd accept another symbiote."

"No, and none of us would ask him to. Look – I don't know if the healing device will work or not, but at least it's something and we've got to try. In the meantime, let's concentrate on Jack and not waste time cursing out moronic, egotistical, arrogant bastards of aliens who are only concerned with themselves and only bother contacting us when they want something." Daniel stopped and took a deep breath, practically hyperventilating after his outburst.

Sam stared and then her face slowly broke into a smile. Suddenly she was laughing and Daniel responded with a single raised eyebrow.

"Uh – can I ask what brought this on?" he wanted to know.

"You hate them as much as I do", she choked. "And you can't deny it!"

"Who's denying it", he smirked, pleased that he'd been able to lighten the mood. "Come on – we should go before it gets too late. Teal'c's been there all afternoon and probably needs a break."

That sobered Sam up immediately and she nodded. "I'll get my jacket." As she made her way to her closet she couldn't help the wave of despair that suddenly washed over her. She knew that her anger at the Tokra was partly a defense mechanism. It kept her from getting too depressed over the Colonel's condition.

Janet kept saying that it was early days yet, but even she was starting to not believe her own words. It had been a week now, and Jack was healing rapidly from his wound and from the broken leg. At least he was healing physically. She thought back to the conversation that Janet told her she'd had with the Colonel's doctor.

Dr. Benjamin was going to start testing him the next day – but according to Frasier, he was beginning to think there had been some permanent damage. How permanent he didn't know.

"It's too early to tell", he'd calmly explained to Janet. "What I do know is that the sooner we get him going on therapy the better."

Janet had explained everything to Teal'c, Daniel and her – but it hadn't been news that they'd wanted to hear. And, as far as Sam could tell, Teal'c had simply refused to believe it.

"O'Neill shall get better", the warrior said calmly. "He is strong and will not let this overcome him."

"Uh Teal'c – we all agree that Jack's strong, but there are some things that even someone like him can't overcome. It's not really a matter of will.

"I do not believe that his condition is that serious", Teal'c stated definitively. "Dr. Frasier herself said that he did not suffer a head wound so there is no reason for this to be permanent."

"I didn't say that he received any head wounds", Frasier said gently. "But that doesn't mean he can't suffer some – that it won't affect his brain. Teal'c, the Colonel suffered massive blood loss and that can lead to brain damage."

"I do not believe it", the former Jaffa warrior said. "O'Neill shall be well."

Sam wanted to believe him, wanted to be as confident as he was, but all it took was one look at the Colonel to begin to doubt.

He hadn't spoken since that first word and now would barely acknowledge their presence. He seemed to do nothing more than stare at the wall or the ceiling and she was growing ever more afraid. They all knew what the Colonel could be like. He didn't handle weakness well – it wasn't who he was – and she didn't know whether he could deal with any kind of long-term disability.

Janet said it was depression – common after a major trauma – and that he'd eventually snap out of it. Sam wasn't so sure.

As she walked down the hospital corridor, Daniel silent at her side, she felt a sudden wash of guilt as she realized she didn't want to step foot into that room. She didn't want to see the Colonel like this. It wasn't his physical state that bothered her so much as the fact that he looked like he was giving up already. She hated that and wanted to scream at him – or burst into tears.

"Hi Jack!" Daniel sounded cheerful as they entered O'Neill's room, but she knew he was faking it. He was doing a better job than she was of trying to hold things together, but she was also aware how much of that was a façade. He was feeling it too, and, like her, didn't know what to do.

"How's he doing Teal'c?" Daniel asked when there was no response from the Colonel.

"He is O'Neill", was Teal'c's cryptic reply. "I have been explaining to him that we are all waiting for him to get well and leave this place so that we may return to fighting our enemies."

"Oh – yeah – right. That's right Jack. You need to – uh – anyway – right. So, you must be hungry Teal'c."

"I am not."

"Okay." Silence returned to the room, with everyone standing awkwardly – or in Teal'c's case, sitting and simply staring at them.

Sam took a step towards the Colonel's bed but then stopped. She didn't know what to do or to say. She knew he'd ignore her and she was tired of talking to herself. She felt badly for him, but also felt a tiny spark of anger. Fight damn you Sir! You're not going to get better if you don't fight this.

"Sam and I thought you might want a break so we came to sit with Jack for a while. Is that okay Jack? Do you mind having us here instead of Teal'c?"

Of course that got much the same reaction as had everything over the last couple of days – absolutely none. Daniel was sure Jack had blinked, but that was the only reaction he could see. He sighed. "Go on Teal'c. You've been here for hours and you need to get back to base. We'll stay."

Teal'c nodded his head and stood up. "O'Neill, I shall go now. Stay strong my friend." When Jack – again – didn't answer the big man turned quietly and exited the room. That left Daniel and Sam, still standing anxiously in the middle of the room.

"So Jack." Daniel finally made his way over to the chair just vacated by Teal'c. "How are you feeling today? You're awfully quiet."

Sam snorted – she couldn't help it. She knew it was mainly nerves, but for some reason she wanted to laugh. She figured it was either that or start throwing a tantrum.

She was surprised when the Colonel suddenly turned his head and looked at her. It was the first real reaction he'd had. "Uh – hi Colonel", she said.

He blinked again and then gave a small nod – which surprised her even more. So he could respond if he wanted to. Then why didn't he? "How are you feeling?"

That got a slight sneer, although she wasn't sure if it was directed at her for asking, or to indicate how he was feeling. For some reason this made her want to laugh – another nervous reaction. Well, at least he could understand her. "Not feeling well I see. I'm sorry. Is there anything we can do?"

At that he closed his eyes and turned his head away. Alright then – that was pretty obvious. He doesn't want any help. Well screw you Colonel!

Suddenly she felt guilty – again. He was hurt and probably frightened and of course he was acting like this. This was Colonel O'Neill and his first reaction was always to run away and lick his wounds in private. It must be killing him to feel so helpless in front of them.

"I'm hungry", she suddenly announced. "I think I'm going to go get something to eat. Would either of you gentlemen like something? Sir – how about some chocolate cake?"

At least that got him to open his eyes. She was pretty sure she saw a gleam in them – although whether because he wanted cake, or because he knew what she was trying to do, she couldn't tell. "I'll bring you some just in case, okay? How about you Daniel?"

"Uh – I'll have some coffee and – oh a donut or something." He looked at her quizzically, clearly wondering what she was up to.

What was she up to, she asked herself as she walked towards the cafeteria. She knew damn well a piece of cake wasn't going to fix the Colonel. No – but treating him normally might help. They had to stop pussy-footing around him. That would only make him more aware of his disability – which she prayed was temporary.

She returned a few minutes later with a piece of cake and a donut and coffee for Daniel. She wasn't in the least hungry, although she'd bought herself a juice.

"I thought you went to get something to eat?" Daniel asked when she returned. She glared at him and he raised an eyebrow. "Uh -"

"I ate it there", she quickly interjected. "Here Sir, your cake." She pulled out the wheeled table over his bed and placed the cake in front of him. "Shall I raise your bed? It'll be too hard to eat lying down."

"I don't think he -"

"Yes he can", she told her friend. "I asked the nurse and she said it's fine to raise it. I'll do it slowly and you let me know if it hurts, okay Sir?"

Jack glared at her but didn't do anything to try and stop her. She realized briefly that without a voice it would be difficult for him to object. Once he was sitting up slightly she moved the tray closer and held out a fork. "Here you go", she told him. "Dig in or Daniel might eat it."

He didn't reach for the fork, instead he simply continued to glare. She could feel herself start to sweat – she wasn't used to interacting this way with Colonel O'Neill – but at the same time she knew she couldn't let him intimidate her. Being easy on him wasn't going to help.

"Oh, do you want me to feed you?" she asked sweetly. "I'm sure it must be too hard for you to eat it while you're recuperating. Here." She reached over and cut a piece of cake with the fork.

The small sound that came from the Colonel made her want to laugh. How a man could make it that obvious that he was angry, just by breathing through his nose, she didn't know. What she did know is that the next moment her hand was being pushed away. Unfortunately, it was the hand with the fork and the piece of cake flew off and landed square on the Colonel's neck.

"Oops", she said with a grimace. "Let me get that Sir." She grabbed a kleenex and went to pick up the gooey cake when her wrist was again grabbed.

O'Neill made a soft sound – this time he actually vocalized it, although it wasn't really a word – and removed the Kleenex from her hand. He then proceeded to try and get at the cake.

She wanted to help him – not because she pitied him- but because his hand was shaking so badly from still being weak that he was smearing icing all over his neck and upper chest. "Uh – I'll grab a cloth Sir", she finally told him. "I'm afraid there's – icing -" she grimaced again at his glare.

"Here", she knew enough not to try and help him this time so she just handed him the damp cloth she'd retrieved from the small bathroom adjoining his room. "Right – there", she pointed to where the icing was on his neck.

It took him a few moments, but he finally managed to get himself clean. He then glanced down at the cake and this time she did laugh – or giggle. He was looking at the cake as if it had tried to kill him. She was pretty sure that if he'd had a zat he would have murdered the poor thing. When he heard her he raised his eyes, the question obvious.

"Uh – sorry Sir – it's just – you look like you're going to murder the cake. It really wasn't its fault you know. It's a perfectly innocent piece of cake."

Even Daniel snorted at that, although he valued his life enough not to say anything. It didn't matter because Jack's eyes swiveled over to him, narrowing as they contemplated the friend who had betrayed him by laughing.

"Sam's right", Daniel finally got the courage to speak. "It really is innocent – and probably quite delicious."

That caused the Colonel to return his focus to the cake.

Sam noticed a twitch on O'Neill's cheek and abruptly frowned. What had she been thinking – the man had almost died and was still recuperating. Why in hell was she teasing him like this?

There was another movement and Sam looked closely at her Commanding Officer. He was – what? What was he -?" Oh God – he wasn't crying was he? She watched and after a moment Jack lifted his head and began to – laugh!

He laughed so hard that he automatically brought his hand up to his chest. Swiftly realizing that it must hurt, Daniel grabbed an extra pillow from the closet and handed it to his friend. Jack placed it against his chest and continued to laugh.

"Uh – the cake wasn't that funny", Daniel protested, although there was a definite glimmer of laughter in his own eyes.

Sam grew slightly worried as sweat broke out on Jack's face and he began looking a bit pale and winded. As much as they said laughter was good medicine, she was sure it had to hurt. The wound on his chest was still raw and tender – and she didn't want him to break his stitches.

"Here Sir", she handed him a glass of water. "I think you need to calm down before you hurt yourself." This time Jack just nodded and worked to stop laughing. After a few seconds he took a drink and calmed down, although there was still a slight grin on his face.

"So – you want to tell me what all that was about?" Daniel looked at Jack, at the cake and then at Sam.

"I think it was the Colonel's murderous intent Daniel." She was still smiling too. "Sir – would you like a piece of cake?'

This time he nodded and put his hand out. She grabbed the fork from where it had fallen on his bed, wiped it swiftly and handed it to him. "Just be careful or the nurses are going to have to change your sheets."

He nodded and shakily reached over and cut a piece and then took a bite. Instantly his eyes closed and he lay there looking as if he was enjoying the flavor. He managed a couple more bites before putting the fork down. He still didn't really have an appetite, and was beginning to look very tired. It was Daniel who noticed and gave her a look.

She nodded and pushed the table to the side of his bed, moving his water so he could reach it easily. She removed the cake. "I'll throw this away." She wanted to laugh again at his pained look. "Don't worry Sir – the cafeteria has a good supply. I'll bring you another piece when you want some more."

This time he nodded but then allowed his head to drop back and his eyes to begin to close. Daniel regarded his companion and gestured with his head towards the door.

"We'll be going now Sir", Sam said quietly. "You take it easy. We'll be back tomorrow." The Colonel gave a small nod, his eyes completely closed. He was almost out for the night.

"See ya Jack", Daniel told him, also very quietly. "You take care of yourself." This time the Colonel didn't respond and they assumed he was asleep.

It was only after Daniel had left and Sam was at the doorway that she heard a sound. She turned, to see the Colonel's eyes opened slightly, his lips turned up in one corner.

"Th – nks", he whispered.

She smiled. Maybe Teal'c was right after all.