A/N: Thank you for my wonderful reviews! This one is more from Sam's perspective, I was tempted to do a little bit on Jack's feelings towards Jonas- might do that another time. Anyways thank you for my kind reviews, enjoy!

The First Commandment

She'd done what she had to do, she attended the post-mission briefing, written and handed in her report and caught up on the work she had to do. Nothing hurt, she just got on with it because that's the job. She needed to be at work so she could get through this.

She yawned and continued to look through the data she was analysing on the most recent gate diagnostic, "hey Sam." She jumped up to the sight of an apologetic looking Daniel holding two coffees. "Sorry didn't mean to make you jump."

"Oh no, it fine I was just going over some things, what's up?"

"Ah nothing, just came over to see you. Oh and give you this." He hands her the coffee.

"Thanks."

"So, you okay?"

"Yeah fine, why?"

"Sam?"

"What?"

"Well um- well, your ex fiancé, Jonas, kinda… died."

"Yes I know, I was there."

"Look no matter what air force front you put on, you're still a human being. It must have upset you."

"Daniel I'm fine, honestly."

"I've known Jack long enough to know that's not true. But fine, you don't wanna talk about it, that's your call. But you will at some point, You know where I am if you need me." She gave him an appreciative smile, he taps her arm affectionately and then walks out. Hours of procrastination pass until the General orders her to go home and get some rest in her own bed.

She made her way home, as slow as she possibly could she dragged herself up the drive way and let herself in. She didn't believe in ghosts, but she could certainly feel the remnant of Jonas in her house. He had been there while they were together. Everywhere she looked came with a flashback of a moment they shared- whether good or bad, but mostly bad. Either way, they were still moments, moments of an alive Jonas Hanson. He had a strange influence on her there was no denying that, their relationship went so well at the start because he brought her out of her shell. They'd race with their motorcycles at 3 AM, have sex at any given time and drank together as if they were experimental teens. Those reckless moments changed as time passed though, they had less fun and it transitioned into a downwards spiral. Jonas had learnt whatever he needed off her and he wasn't going to let her go.

She walked down her hallway, more memories to come. The hallway was always her trustworthy source, it told her what mood or state Jonas was in when he entered depending on the way he walked and where about he threw down his belongings. The kitchen was where they had the most fights, partly because that's where she put her mail- he would always read it, she hated that. When things got heated Sam would always try and manoeuvre herself to where the knives were kept just in case things got slightly out of control. The living room would be where she'd storm off to once he said something she always told herself he'd regret, she'd throw the cushions at him and growl 'get the hell out of my house!' But he never did. She'd then try to lock herself in her bathroom, but he was too fast, those were the times she wished all the alcohol he drank would have given him some form of beer belly to slow him down. It never did. In fact, it seemed it strengthened him. Things went one of two ways in the bathroom. Number one was they'd continue to argue until she apologised, or number two where he'd beg for her forgiveness, which she'd grant. Either way, the majority of the time no matter what happened in the bathroom the ending was either her storming out, or them in the bedroom. Jonas called it 'make up sex', but to her it was the means of ending an argument. Sometimes she wouldn't mind if he drank too much because he'd pass out before or in the early stages of it, so she could shove him off and go to the sofa. It wasn't a healthy relationship, from the compulsive need to be around each other and his obsession for control over her at the end, so what was wrong with her?

She couldn't quite master the fact he was dead. Mastered or not, she didn't want to think about it so she scrounged her kitchen cupboards for alcohol. She knew she had beer but that wasn't strong enough, she was glad to have discovered some Vodka. At an unknown hour, while she was sitting on her couch, her phone began to ring. She knew this technique, Colonel O'Neill would ring at a weird time knowing you wouldn't answer so he'd just leave a message and be done with it, but she was awake, so she answered.

"Carter." she stammered.

"A- hey Carter, it's me." A surprised Colonel Jack O'Neill replies.

"Hello sir, how may I help you?" she pronounced each word individually, she wanted to sound put together. Little did she know that is what made her sound drunk.

"Nothing to help here, where are you?"

"My couch sir."

"Right."

"So colonel, to what do I owe the pleasure?" she hums, imagining that's something he'd say in her head, she chuckles.

"Oh boy."

"What?"

"Carter you have to be at the base in a couple of hours."

"Yes I know, I have a not-so-advanced piece of technology called an alarm clock to help me do that." He grunts and there's a silence, bored Sam says, "Sir?"

"I'll be over in 10." he hangs up leaving her confused. She drinks some more. Not too long after the call a gentle knock is placed on her door she stumbles over to it and swings it open nearly falling over.

"C'mon let's get you sorted." he guides her through her house and she shakes his off him looking completely disorientated.

"What are you doing here, Colonel?"

"Making sure you're alright, Captain."

"Well I'm absolutely fine."

"So you say."

"Yes I do say. I do say I'm fine. I am fine."

"You are drunk."

"Well who said you weren't observant sir!"

"I called to see how you were holding up, I can now see the answer is not so good."

"Having some bastard that was a part of your life die is a confusing feeling you know. How do I react? Do I cry? Do I jump for joy? Do I drink? Do I grieve? What the hell do I do?!" She raises her voice a little. "What do I do when this house is bugged with memories of him, he's been here! HERE, in the very spot I'm in and the very one you're in. How do I think about somebody's loss when they're everywhere? I haven't thought about him in a very long time, he was shut away- an experience kept in a box. He was always a crazy man, he's now a dead crazy man. How do I sleep?" She turns to face him. "How do I go to bed when he's been in that bed? I hate him and he is everywhere, he's a parasite who popped up and died and I don't know how to handle it! I want to undo ever meeting him so this weird version of grief leaves me."

"I'll get you a glass of water." He fetches her a glass of water, when he gets back he notices the sorrowful look on her face.

"I'm drunk." she realises.

"Sam, drink this." Ignoring him and his gesture, she continues.

"Jonas used to get drunk. He used to get drunk and I would fetch him a glass of water. What if... Damn it. Damn this all, what is going on? Next thing I know I'll be in the bathroom pleading for forgiveness then into the" her breathing had increased rapidly and she began to cry. Jack pulls her in and holds her, she wipes "i'm sorry sir." He comforts her and supports her onto her bed. "I was stupid."

"Sam, this is why I wanted you to go home at the start of the mission, I've overheard you and Daniel talk about your relationship with Jonas. But hey, look on the bright side, you were worried about him. You don't have to worry anymore."

"Because he's dead."

"Yeah." he sits beside her while she calms down. He stays a while, eventfully he can feel the pattern of her sleeping. He places her onto her side just in case she throws up, and puts a bowl on her bedside table as well as a towel on the floor. He stokes the side of her face and lets himself out.

The following morning she wakes up to the sound of her alarm, but she was pretty sure her head was ringing a lot more. "Damn it" she complains and slaps her palms onto her temple trying to hold her head in place. An acidic taste overwhelmed her so she leaped to her bathroom where she spent several minutes ridding the alcohol from her system, she then routinely got ready and had a slice of toast and drove to work. As she was driving memories of last night came to her, but it was still a bit of a blur. She found herself wandering into the commissary and she saw her team sat at their normal table eating their breakfast, something felt weird. And then it hit her, Colonel O'Neill was at her house, suddenly she remembered it all. Embarrassed, she turns to leave but then Daniel calls her over. She cringes as she walks over and takes a seat next to Daniel, luckily she's facing Teal'c.

"Hey Sam, where were you this morning? I went to your quarters to check up on you but you weren't there."

Grateful that the Colonel hadn't mentioned anything of her early morning antics to them she replies, "the General suggested that I go home and rest."

"Are you coming to acceptance with the death of Jonas Hanson?" Teal'c asks.

"It's funny because I'm still processing the fact we had a conversation, let alone his death. But I'm dealing with it fine." There's a pause. "Anyway, I've already eaten so I'll catch you all later." As she leaves the commissary Colonel O'Neill follows.

"Carter wait up." She turns around, feeling very nervous.

"Sir, before you say what you're about to say I'd like to apologise for my behaviour."

"Apologise for what? I just wanted to see how you were doing this morning."

"Well, humiliated, but fine. Sir"

"If you think that was bad I've had Daniel come check up on me drunk in my underwear on a number of occasions, at least you were dressed." She chuckles. "What I'm saying is we're all here to support you." He pauses. "And, just to add to something you said last night, you're nothing like Jonas. You're a better person, and you don't kill in cold blood. And if I'm honest, I don't know how he got you without a couple dozen degrees in astrophysics."

"Thank you sir, and thank you for helping me out."

"Don't mention it, if there's anything I've learnt from my many years on the job is that a real team shows it strengths best at home rather than on a mission." She smiles in appreciation.

"I'll see you in the briefing sir."

"That you will."