There was so much to learn, so much to see and to understand that he knew it would take a lifetime.
He didn't really understand or know where he was, or what was happening. All he knew was that it was amazing and beautiful and that he didn't want to leave. It was as if someone had uncovered all the mysteries of the universe and were unfolding them just for him.
He had a vague sense, sometimes, that there was something else, somewhere else other than the wonders that existed in his mind. He felt small things impinging on what he was seeing and experiencing, but for the most part he was able to ignore them. He wanted to keep seeing and hearing and feeling and sensing the miracles that surrounded him.
He'd lost the connection to the physical world, to other people, to self. He had no real idea of who he was or even what he was. Instead it was all about the mysteries that were unfolding in his mind.
He did find himself occasionally disturbed by small things – things he wished he could ignore but which poked at him. He grew thirsty and so when liquid was presented he responded and drank. Hunger he could ignore, and almost always did (expect for the one time when he ate to stop the noise that repeated and repeated in his consciousness). His other bodily functions he couldn't ignore and did feel a brief moment of relief when he emptied his bladder.
But other than those things he was able to exist completely in his mind and ignore the inconsequential things that were going on around him.
Pain didn't really register, although he was aware of it in a strange, distant way. The sounds and sights around him, those he could easily ignore. He didn't really even see or hear things, although again he knew they were there and sometimes was able to navigate, when he had to. No, there was nothing that he really wanted to allow into his consciousness – nothing except her.
He didn't even know what that meant – or who or what that was. She, her – it was something that wouldn't let him go, wouldn't let him exist solely for the knowledge, the wonder, the joy that was in his mind.
He felt something briefly at that thought – at the thought of her. It was as if something was nudging him, pushing him out of the state in which he existed. He resisted, and then felt guilty. He couldn't forget her – he couldn't let her go – could he?
They arrived at the village in a few minutes. People moved out of their small huts and greeted the returning men. There were smiles and shouts and laughter. Clearly it was a joyous reunion. Sam wondered why the men had been gone in the first place. They didn't have any game with them so she didn't think it could have been a hunting party. Maybe they were warriors?
She and Jack were noticed soon after the initial greetings and the group grew quiet. Ailani spread his arms and spoke in a loud, authoritarian voice. "These are our guests. This man – Jack – is not with us. His mana is visiting the gods. He is to be cared for and honored for his journey."
There was murmuring and some of the people looked frightened, although no one spoke out loud. Sam was curious about the idea of Jack's 'mana'.
"This woman – Sam – ata – is Jack's Promised One. She accompanied him to look after him while he journeyed to the gods. She too is to be treated as a guest and to be honored for her service to her Promised One."
Ailani looked at an older woman. "Mother, see to their comfort."
The old woman nodded and scurried over to Sam. "Come, you shall bring your man so that he can rest."
Sam smiled and thanked her. She pulled the Colonel after her as she followed the older woman. The crowd of people opened up to let her pass, their eyes following her, but no one spoke.
"Here, you can stay here", the woman pointed to a small hut. "We shall bring you food and blankets. I am Merenui, mother of Ailani. You must ask me if you need anything." The woman glanced over at Jack, who continued to stand quietly. "Your man – he may not return", she stated. "It is hard to leave the gods", she whispered. "I hear it is beautiful there."
"Mmm", Sam smiled. Even though she didn't understand this whole 'visiting the gods' thing, she was grateful that the people seemed to see it as something positive. In many cultures anyone who suffered any kind of mental illness would have been viewed with fear or hatred.
"Does he love you?" Merenui asked suddenly.
"Uh – what?"
"Your Promised, does he love you?"
"I – I guess", she said, sounding unsure.
The old woman sighed. "If he loved you truly, then there is hope that he will return, otherwise – he will simply fade away until he is with them completely. I am sorry – I would not wish this on a woman. But if that happens, you will still find joy in another man." She grinned suddenly. "There are many here who would be interested in you. You are a beautiful woman and that hair – you have been blessed by the gods."
Sam thanked the old woman as she left, although she was definitely relieved to have a few minutes alone. She glanced at the Colonel and groaned. She really wasn't alone, even though she felt like it. "Come on Sir - why don't you sit down. I'll get you some water and then you can rest."
She managed to get some liquid into the Colonel and within moments he was sound asleep. She observed him carefully as he slept, feeling a horrible sadness wash over her. "Is this it Colonel?" she whispered. "Is this how you're going to live the rest of your life? Oh Jack", she cried, the tears starting. "Please, please come back to me." She reached out and gently touched his cheek. "Please Jack – don't do this. Come back to me. I need you. I love you."
She lay down beside him and allowed herself to cry. She put her arm around his chest and held on tightly. She kept waiting for him to make some quip – to make her laugh and let her know he was in there. But he didn't. He didn't move, didn't respond. Maybe the old lady was right. Maybe he'd found some place better, more beautiful than here.
She pulled herself up and gave the Colonel a soft kiss on the cheek. "I hope wherever you are it is beautiful Sir. You deserve that." With a sigh she scooted down and closed her eyes. She was so tired.
The days continued, each one sliding into the next with little variation. The Colonel remained the same. She managed to coax small amounts of food into him, but she knew he wouldn't survive long on what he ate. He was already looking guant and his clothes were starting to hang off of him.
He did drink and he was able to walk to the forest a couple of times a day to take a leak. Other than that he did nothing.
Sam was starting to go crazy. She was bored and depressed and not sure what her next stop should be. She figured she and the Colonel should head back to the gate. She could try and take him somewhere where he could get help – preferably the Asgard. The problem was, she didn't think he would make it. With the lack of food he was growing steadily weaker and a two-day walk to the Stargate would be almost impossible.
She'd hoped that as she got to know the Ati-Makani that they'd begin to trust her and then she could ask for help getting the Colonel to the gate. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be happening.
Oh, the people were hospitable, offering food and anything else she could need, but they certainly didn't reach out to her to include her in village life. She spent most of her days alone in her hut.
The exception was Ailani and his family. He visited frequently and sometimes brought his son or his mother with him. Sam learned about him – how he'd inherited his position from his father. He'd married at a young age to Moheia, Kamalei's mother. She had died giving birth to the boy and he'd never remarried. According to Merenui, he'd buried his heart with his young bride.
"He puts all his love into that boy", Merenui exclaimed. "He could have his pick of women to take as a wife but he doesn't look at any of them." She grinned then. "Except you."
"What?" Sam's head whipped around. "Me? What are you talking about?"
"My son – he admires you. No, he desires you."
"He does not", Sam said sharply. "And anyway, I'm promised."
"Yes, to the vacant one. He will soon go completely with the gods. He is dying now. After that you must look to your future. Ailani is a good man and will make a good husband." On those words the old woman stood and walked away.
Sam went back and sat beside the Colonel – her usual place now days. She looked at him carefully, wanting to deny what Merenui had said. But she couldn't. Jack was dying, there could be no doubt. He was slowly starving to death and she didn't know what to do to stop it.
"You are allowing your desire to get in the way of your sense Ailani!" Teina barked at him. "Just because she is a beautiful woman does not mean that she is safe. You do now know why they are here."
"They are here to find the magic waters to cure the man", Ailani told his younger brother. He and Teina, although born of the same parents, had never seen eye to eye. Unlike some siblings who had a fast and true bond, the two of them had been rivals since they were small.
Teina resented the fact that since he was the younger he would miss out on the power and prestige that his brother received as tribe leader. He felt his brother was too soft, too careless in the way he led the tribe. It he was the clan chief he would have been much stricter – and he would have waged war against their neighbors to win territory and honor.
The woman, and her imbecile man, were a distraction and one the tribe didn't need. Teina also felt an instinctive fear of the two, and he knew he had to get rid of them, by one means or another. If it took killing them he would do it, although his first choice was to have Ailani cast them out and send them back from where they came.
Although there was something which intrigued Teina and made him rethink his plan to get rid of the woman. He had never heard of Nia – gara and nor, did it seem, had anyone else. He also found out from Ponui that the woman had spoken of the circle. He needed to find out more about that from her. Maybe he'd even consider taking her as his wife – then she'd have to tell him about the circle. Once he knew its powers then he would continue with his plan to take over as chief. Part of that plan included getting rid of Kamalei, heir to the throne.
"You must join us Sam–ata", Ailani stood in front of her, her hand in his. He came by everyday and she appreciated it, although since his mother's visit she was more self-conscious. The last thing she needed was a problem with a love-sick Chief. Jack, where are you when I need you, she said to herself?
"I – thank you Ailani, but I need to stay with Jack", she told him. She'd been invited by Ailani and his mother to a celebration down by the beach. The tribe had discovered a whale (or this planet's equivalent – the tribe called it a koloha) that had beached itself. After a few days it had died and they immediately began cutting it up and collecting the blubber and the meat. It was a huge haul for the tribe, proving enough meat for a long time to come.
Ailani had declared that they must have a day and a night of celebration and everyone was going down to the beach. "One of the old ones can watch Jack. You must come."
She wanted to refuse, but felt an abrupt longing for something other than watching him just lie there. She needed to breathe – to get away and think of something other than him. With a stab of grief and guilt she took a breath and nodded. "Alright, but please make sure someone stays with him."
Ailani smiled and a few minutes later returned with one of the old women of the tribe. Sam had a moment's hesitation but then decided it would be okay. It's not as if the Colonel was going to get up and wander off. She gave the woman instructions – basically to watch him – and then followed the chief down towards the beach.
Jack became aware that something was different. He didn't know quite what it was, and was going to ignore it and go back to his contemplation of the universe, when a sound got through to him. He forced himself to be aware, if only vaguely, of the world around him.
"Iriata", a voice whispered. The old lady started and looked furtively into the growing shadows of the hut.
"What? Who are you?" she hissed back.
"It is I – Temoe, the dusk. You must leave this place."
"What?" she asked fearfully. "I cannot. Ailani told me to stay."
"The gods want this one – they want the man. If you remain they will take you with them. Do you want that? Do you want to go with the gods?"
"No", she answered, "no. I am not ready." She stood and backed away from the body of the sleeping man. "Please, I do not want to go."
"Then leave now, but tell no one that Temoe warned you or the gods will enact vengeance on both of us. Just leave quietly and no harm will befall you."
With that Iriata fled the hut, her soft cries going unheard in the night.
The one calling himself Temoe entered the hut and looked down at the man in front of him, a smile on his face. "It is time for you to go with the gods stranger", he whispered menacingly. "Your woman will then be free and I will take her and find out the secret of the circle."
He knelt down beside the man and lifted his arm. In his hand he held a dagger. It descended quickly toward the sleeping man's chest. Just as it fell a shaft of light entered through the small window in the hut, illuminating the assassin's face. It was Teina.
Jack heard the voice and instantly knew something was wrong. He could sense evil intent on the part of the one speaking. He barely heard when the woman spoke and didn't know when she left. Instead he waited until the evil presence approached, replacing the old one that had been sitting near him.
He forced his ears to really listen this time, understanding that this was important. He didn't know why, but when the evil one spoke of 'his woman' it brought him even further back to reality.
He felt, rather than saw, the movement towards him. Too weak to do much he thrust up his arm, deflecting the course of the object. Still, it was able to continue its path and there was a brief moment of agony as something pierced his chest.
The pain, on top of the thoughts of the woman, his woman, brought him fully back to the present. He felt the object pull out of him and the man above him rush off. His eyes followed him as he left.
For the first time in days Jack was aware of his surroundings, although part of him - a large part of him, wished he wasn't. The pain in his chest was excruciating. He wasn't quite aware enough to know what exactly had happened, but he did know that the man who had just left had tried to hurt him – had succeeded in hurting him. He rather expected the man's intent had been to kill him – but he hadn't succeeded, although Jack rather thought he might need some assistance to ensure that didn't happen anytime soon.
Where was he? He slowly looked around the room. It was dark, with only a bit of moonlight, but he could tell he was in some kind of primitive hut. He was lying on a mat on the ground and there was a blanket over him – or at least it had been over him. It had been knocked to the side during the brief – what – fight, assassination attempt? He next looked down at himself and realized the moonlight was shining directly on his chest. He stared for a moment, wondering what was glowing so brightly in the silver light.
He finally reached with his hand – his very shaky hand – and touched the shiny spot. It was wet. He pulled his hand away and stared for another few seconds at his hand. Why was it wet?
He moved his hand to his face and smelled – blood. It was blood. It was – oh God – it was his blood.
The pain again shot through him and a groan escaped. He checked out his chest again and realized that the spot was growing – way too quickly. He was hurt, and badly, and needed help. His mind fully clicked back into the painful reality of the present.
But where was he? Was he a prisoner? Why had someone tried to kill him? And where was his team? He shook his head, trying to clear it. After a few moments he realized that if he wanted to live he needed help and he was going to have to find it himself.
He struggled to his feet – the weakness and pain making it almost impossible. But he wasn't going to let little things like that stop him. He needed to find his teammates. They'd help him. They'd take him to Janet and she'd fix him up and all would be well.
He took a step and almost ended up flat on his back. He had to breath through the pain to keep himself from fainting or from throwing up. He knew he needed to stop the bleeding and quickly. He could feel the blood soaking his shirt and trailing down his stomach into the waist of his pants.
Trying to see in the dark room was difficult, but eventually he found a pack – he wasn't sure if it was his, but that didn't matter. What he needed was to find a first aid kit. He stumbled over to it and knelt down – again almost falling – and began to pull things out indiscriminately. He knew almost immediately that it wasn't his, but didn't really care, especially since he found the kit.
He set it down beside him with shaking hands and opened it, praying that there'd be something to help him. He had to blink a couple of times to clear his eyes and then he looked to see what would help. "Thank God", he whispered, when he saw the packet of QuickClot. He grabbed it and almost laughed when he couldn't get the damn thing open.
It was as he tried to tear it with his teeth that he realized. "Idiot!" He stopped trying to open the package so that he could pull up his shirt. He needed to see the damn wound before he could pour the stuff on it.
"Damn!" It looked worse than he'd hoped. It was almost hard to see the wound itself since there was so much blood all over his chest and stomach. "Bleeding like a pig O'Neill", he told himself. He reached back in the pack and grabbed the super absorbent towel that was there. He hoped it was clean, but right now infection was the last thing on his mind. He had to stop the damned bleeding first.
He wiped up as much blood as he could with the towel, tossing it away when he could do no more, especially since the wound continued to bleed. At least now he was able to see the two-inch gash right above his left nipple. The man who had tried to kill him had clearly been aiming for his heart. It was only with luck that Jack had been able to divert the downward thrust of what he assumed was a knife. Still, the wound was deep and he could survive the initial attack and end up bleeding to death if he didn't deal with this.
He returned to the packet of QuickClot and managed to open it with the small scissors in the first aid kit. He had to take a deep breath before he poured the stuff on the wound – both because he knew it was going to hurt like hell, and also because he was shaking so badly he was afraid he'd miss.
"Gaaaah!" he yelled softly as the stuff hit the wound. It bubbled and hissed but he thought it was working. He waited a few moments and then looked down again at the wound. He sighed in relief to see that the stuff had done its job and seemed to have stopped the bleeding. Still, he knew this was only a temporary measure and he needed help fast. Grabbing a bottle of antibiotics and some painkillers he forced himself to his feet.
He did a quick check of the hut and found what he was looking for - a canteen which had been beside his mat on the floor. Grimacing as he knelt to pick it up, he told himself he needed to hydrate himself after loosing so much blood. He also needed something to help with the pain and to keep infection at bay. He downed a few of the pills, wishing he could have injected himself with one of the morphine ampules that Janet included, but knowing that he needed all his faculties if he was going to get help.
He waited a moment, trying to tell himself that he was feeling better after taking the pain medication. Knowing he didn't have a huge amount of time left, he headed towards the door.
Sam tried to get into the spirit of the evening. There was a feast and dancing and singing. A number of the women actually came up to her and tried to be friendly. It was the first time that anyone had actually reached out to her from the tribe and she forced herself to respond pleasantly. In reality all she wanted to do was to rush back to the village and check on the Colonel.
She knew it was ridiculous, knew she was worrying for nothing, but something was bothering her. She had this strange feeling that Jack – no, that Colonel O'Neill needed her.
"Hah", she said softly, "he needs a lot more than I can give him. Damn it Sir – how can I help you?"
"You must relax Sam–ata", Ailani sat down beside her. She had been resting, leaning up against a log and trying to enjoy the beautiful, warm evening. She stopped herself from moving away from the chief and instead gave him a friendly smile.
"I am relaxing", she told him untruthfully. "It's a beautiful evening."
"Yes. But you are not. You are worried about your friend."
Sam noticed that he didn't refer to the Colonel as her Promised One and suddenly wondered if the old woman was right. Was Ailani interested in her? Damn it, she hoped not.
"Yes", she acknowledged. "I am. In fact, I think I should go back and check on him. I don't like to leave him for too long."
Ailani frowned. "You cannot help him", he told her bluntly. "He has chosen his path. You must let him go."
"Let him go? Where? He's sick and needs time to heal."
"He is not sick. He is with the gods."
"You keep saying that. It doesn't mean anything to me. He is not with anyone. He is sick – he was injured – and needs time to heal, that's all."
"You delude yourself Sam-ata. Let him go. He will be at peace and you will be free."
She got to her feet angrily. She was so furious she wanted to strike out at the man who continued to sit on the beach. "I do not want to be free", she practically yelled. Others stopped and watched as she stood over their chief, various expressions of surprise, fear and awe on their faces. Few stood up to Ailani.
"I want him to get better", she cried. "I want him to heal and then I want us to leave here and go home. He isn't going to go with any gods. He is going to stay with me and I'm going to look after him!"
"Good", a strangled voice came out of the night. "Because – I think – I'm gonna need you – Sam." With that she turned just in time to see Jack O'Neil fall at her feet.