They managed to escape from work with relative ease, although she doubts Dempsey's obvious jumpiness went entirely unnoticed. When he confessed in the car that he'd never been so excited about anything in his life, she found herself dealing with unexpected tears in the face of his enthusiasm, which she realises probably doesn't give her much hope for holding it together when they actually get a first glimpse of their baby today. She never used to be someone who cries easily, used to be quite proud of her stoicism, but all that seems to have fallen by the wayside. Two nights ago she cried because Dempsey brought her a mug of camomile tea while she was in the bath, and a week ago she cried at a lost dog poster outside a pub where they'd been to look for a suspect. It's ridiculous and annoying but she knows there's nothing she can do to control her raging hormones so she's trying to embrace it, as frustrating as it is.
"Are you going to cry your way through this, Harry?" He squeezes her hand as they wait to be called in and there's a sweet but ever so slightly teasing smile on his lips.
"Are you?" She smirks at him, knowing how excited he is, and thankful that his excitement seems to be ironing out her nerves just a little. "I have hormones to pin it on, you know. I'm not sure what excuse you can use."
"I don't need an excuse, babe. I'm a modern man." He shrugs and she laughs out loud.
"No offence, and you know how much I love you…" She shakes her head and smiles. "But a modern man is perhaps the last thing I would describe you as."
"Hey." His shoulder nudges hers gently and he smiles back at her. "If a man can't shed a tear because he's knocked up his dream girl then when can he?"
"Steady on, Dempsey, there are only so many romantic declarations a girl can take." She can't resist an eye roll, doubts she could contain it even if she wanted to.
They're interrupted by her name being called and she takes a deep breath as they stand up and head into a small room down the hallway. In something of a daze she does what she's told and climbs up onto the bed, watching as Dempsey sits in the chair beside her, reaching for her hand, the excited smile on his face almost enough to set her tears off again.
"Harriet? I'm Julia, I'm one of the sonographers here and I'll be doing your ultrasound this morning." No doubt used to nervous, slightly bewildered looking parents-to-be, Julia gives her a kind smile that does manage to relax her a little. "So...looking at your notes here, we think you're eleven weeks or so? We should be able to date you a little more accurately with the ultrasound. How have you been feeling?"
"Oh, well...terrible at first, if I'm honest." She feels Dempsey squeeze her hand. "It has settled down a little over the last couple of weeks though, thankfully."
"That's good. It often does start to wear off a little from around this stage, so with luck it should be much more plain sailing from here on out." Julia smiles again before turning to press what seems like a thousand buttons on the machine next to her. "Alright then, if you could slide your shirt up for me...great, this will be a bit cold."
It's cold but not particularly uncomfortable, or maybe the anticipation of seeing their baby on the screen is making any discomfort less noticeable. She feels nervous again all of a sudden, not because she has any real reason to, more because the magnitude of everything is starting to really sink in...pregnancy, engagement, things that she had thought about, that she and Dempsey had even talked about, tentatively, but that she perhaps hadn't expected quite so quickly. His hand is still holding hers, his touch giving her the comfort it always does. She still remembers her initial surprise at discovering his romantic side, at the realisation that he loves to hold her hand, at the way he reaches for it automatically so much of the time, and she smiles thinking about how ready hers always is to take it.
"Now, we don't always get a particularly great picture, depending on baby's position and size, but let's have a look and see what we've got here." She smiles nervously and keeps tight hold of Dempsey's hand before looking up at the screen beside the bed. It takes some pushing on Julia's part, some mildly uncomfortable nudging across her abdomen before she sees anything but then there's a flicker of movement on the screen. It's fuzzy and grey but somewhere there she knows is their baby. "Ah, there we are. I know it probably doesn't look like much, but that's actually about as clear as it gets. Let's see…"
She glances at Dempsey and almost laughs aloud at the confused look on his face as he stares at the screen, clearly with no real idea of what he's looking at. Not that she's an awful lot clearer, other than knowing that they're looking at their baby, at the tiny little human that's somehow half her, half Dempsey, yet destined to be a person all of its own.
"I know it looks like a lot of blurry nothing at this point." Julia smiles and then points to the screen. "But right there is your baby's head, and there...there is the heartbeat. It's looking nice and strong, just what we want."
"That right there?" Dempsey leans closer and points towards the screen, his eyes wide and so full of awe that she feels a lump forming in her throat yet again. "That's the baby's heart?"
"It certainly is." Julia smiles at him, no doubt used to confused looking fathers and slightly emotional mothers. "Now, I'll take a couple of measurements and we'll be able to confirm some dates for you."
"Are you alright?" She squeezes his fingers harder until he looks at her and smiles. "You look a bit...well, you look like a frightened animal."
"Yeah, I'm...yeah, I mean...Harry, that's our baby there." He grins at her and she lifts her hand to his face, smiling back at him.
"Yes it is. What did you think had been making me so sick all these weeks?" She smiles a little wider because she does understand his amazement, she feels it too. Somehow knowing there's a baby and actually seeing it, even if it does look like a slightly angry storm cloud on the screen, are two very different things.
"You know, we probably should tell the boss now…" The expression on his face suggests he can't wait to tell absolutely everybody, possibly with an alpha male beating of the chest thrown in for good measure.
"Well, as you very well know, I'm almost certain he has an idea anyway." She looks again at the screen, her eyes drawn to the movement of the baby's heartbeat, the confirmation right there that this is real, that a few months from now they're going to have an actual living, breathing human being to take care of. "But yes, I suppose we should."
"So, looking at these measurements, I would say the original estimate was close enough. I would put you at twelve weeks, which gives you a due date of…" Pausing, Julia scrolls through her notes, which presumably include a calendar. "April 15th."
"Birthday present for you, just as I thought." She grins at him and turns her attention back to the image on the screen. "Is everything okay? I mean, do things look like they should?"
"Absolutely." Julia smiles reassuringly. "The measurements are good, and this is a good strong heartbeat. Everything looks great."
She doesn't quite know why it's this confirmation, rather than her first glimpse of the baby a few minutes ago that brings tears to her eyes but she's largely given up on trying to make sense of her emotions of late. Maybe there's something deep inside, a niggling guilt at the memory of not exactly feeling immediately overjoyed when she suspected the reason for her sickness that day in the locker room. Maybe she's still rattled from the previous day, not knowing if Dempsey was okay, feeling stranded as she waited, and then their disagreement after it was all over. Whatever it is, the tears are flowing freely and she tries frantically to wipe them away, annoyed once again at her inability to control her emotions since they seem to have been completely flattened by her hormones.
"It's all good, princess, look." He lifts her hand to his lips and kisses her fingers. "He has a heartbeat and a head and everything."
"Well, I would hope he, or she, does have a head." She laughs at that and wipes her eyes, turning to Julia. "I'm guessing you're more than used to usually sensible women falling apart like this."
"Oh I'm used to all sorts of reactions." Julia smiles kindly at her and she feels fractionally less silly for her tears. "Right then, we're all done here. Keep doing what you're doing, and get in touch with your midwife if you have any concerns."
Outside in the hallway she almost drags him to the exit, her fingers tangled tightly in his, her nerves having made way for something much more closely resembling excitement with a bubbling undercurrent of happiness. In the car she turns to him and when she sees the same feelings written clearly across his face too it makes her smile.
"So, it's Friday…" She reaches for his hand again and pulls it into her lap, running her thumb softly over his knuckles.
"Is this a test?" He looks confused but curious. "Because yeah, it's Friday."
"I just want the weekend, Dempsey." She watches as he frowns, knowing she's not making any sense yet. "I don't want to tell Spikings until Monday. I want it to be just our news for one more weekend."
"Whatever you want, honey." He smiles at her, his eyes focused firmly on hers. "Hell, we don't have to tell him until the day you need to walk in wearing something that makes it real obvious, if you don't want to."
"I'm not sure that's quite the way to go about it." She grins and drags his hand with hers onto her belly, sighing as she feels his hand rubbing gently over her shirt. "It is tempting though, just to see the look on his face."
"It kind of is." He grins and pulls his hand reluctantly back to start the car. "Alright, let's get back to the office and carry on telling the boss absolutely nothing."
As it turns out Spikings is gone for most of the afternoon so it's doubtful they could have grabbed five minutes with him anyway. Instead they spend the afternoon catching up on paperwork, discounting a couple of tips from notoriously unreliable contacts, and filing two outstanding reports. At least when the boss does reappear they should have slotted themselves nicely into his good books. At just after five she decides she's done for the day. She's hungry, her back is aching, and she's ready to go home. Looking across the desk at Dempsey she raises her eyebrows and he only has to give her the faintest of nods before she stands and picks up her bag.
"Night, Chas." She gives a faint wave on the way out. "Have a good weekend."
At home she eats dinner more enthusiastically than she has in days and then gladly curls up against Dempsey. He's comfortable and warm and she has decided in these last few weeks that his chest might actually be the nicest pillow she's ever known, so it's no surprise that she's not really aware of dozing off until she feels him drop a kiss to the top of her head and hears him murmur her name.
"Let's go up to bed, honey." His hand runs slowly down her arm, not exactly aiding him in his mission to make her move from her comfortable spot.
She takes her time in the bathroom, trying to ignore how tired she looks, blaming the mirror, the bathroom lighting, whatever she can. When she does head back into the bedroom he shifts slightly and she climbs into bed next to him. Occasionally she still finds it funny that she had no idea how romantic, how sweet he could be, and how he seems to have become even more so since finding out he's going to be a father. She tucks herself against him and smiles as he slides his arm around her shoulder and pulls her to him.
"You okay?" His voice is low and rumbles comfortingly through her as she nods.
"Tired, but that's nothing new." She feels her eyes drift shut and she tries to imagine a time when she isn't tired like this by ten o'clock every bloody night. "I promise we'll have sex this weekend."
"What?" He sounds amused so she shifts and looks up at him.
"I know we haven't done it in days, but if I can just get a good night's sleep tonight, we can totally do it tomorrow." She pauses, thinking about it being the first thing they do when they wake up, and it makes her smile. "In the morning would be nice. I do like waking up to find you about to disappear between my thighs."
"You do, huh?" He grins and kisses her, his thumb rubbing softly under her ear, running along her jaw. "Well that works out pretty well because there's nothing I like more than the taste of my girl first thing in the morning."
The weekend is filled with sleep, sex, and food, enough that by Monday morning she feels almost like a new woman, or at least one who is ready for a conversation with Spikings. She rules out the first skirt she puts on almost immediately, along with a pair of trousers that refuse to even zip up, and ends up wearing a dress that she would usually wear with a belt and that she feels may look like an announcement in itself without it.
"Dempsey?" She turns and frowns at her reflection side on in the mirror, looking up at him as he comes into the room, not that she thinks he'll have a clue what she's worried about. "Does this dress scream pregnancy to you?"
"I'm pretty sure I've seen it before so I know it's not a pregnancy dress, so I don't know…" He pauses as she reaches for the belt she usually wears with it and puts it on, and his eyebrows raise slightly. "Ah, maybe, um, don't wear the belt with it?"
"Exactly! But if I don't wear the belt, does it look like a giant sack and make it blatantly obvious that there's a reason I'm not wearing the belt?" She turns to face him, hands on her hips, sighing.
"Shit, honey, I, uh…" He looks completely baffled and she feels bad for putting him on the spot leaving him floundering for something to say that won't make her any edgier than she already is. "I have no idea what the right answer is here."
"It's okay, I just…" She pulls the dress tighter against her and steps closer to him before turning again and pointing down at her belly. "Does it just look like I had a big meal, or...it's too early to be really obvious, right?"
"I think to you...and me, it looks like our little guy is the size of a lime now and he's trying to take up some more space." He pauses and grins at her as she lets the dress drop back to hang normally and she sighs but manages to smile back at him. "I think to anyone else it just looks like you're wearing a dress without a belt, I guess?"
"Okay, fine, so maybe I'm overthinking it a little." She can admit that's likely, she knows it's probably because she feels different now, she can feel a change. The way she looks, the way she feels, and maybe there's an element of it that comes from them preparing to share their news with their boss.
"It's going to be fine, you know. I mean, you seem convinced the chief already knows anyway, so if that's the case it's not like it's going to come as a huge shock to the guy." He shrugs, clearly not feeling the same level of nerves as her, probably because he's not the one carrying this baby, not the one who's going to be left at a desk more often than not. She pulls her thoughts back, not willing to go down that road again.
"You said he, again. Are you going to be horribly disappointed if this baby is a girl?" She doesn't think so, but she's curious enough to ask.
"What? No, no way." He shakes his head and reaches for her, running his finger softly down the side of her face. "I can't think of anything more perfect than a mini version of you."
"Charmer." She smiles and takes a breath, glancing at her watch. "Come on, we should get going."
She lets him drive. She's restless, distracted, and she would ideally like to not write off either of their cars before they even get to work. When they arrive, she doesn't hesitate, just drops her bag and jacket at her desk and grabs his arm to pull them both towards Spikings' office. Two knocks, one 'come in', and they're standing in front of his desk.
"We have something we need to tell you." She clasps her hands in front of her, nervously twiddling her engagement ring as she takes a breath and decides to just get right to it. "I'm pregnant, Sir, three months, and I know this means I'll need to be a little more cautious at work now, already have been, actually, but I do want to say that I won't be happy if this means I'm put on desk duty full-time. I can manage most aspects of the job perfectly well, I'm pregnant not injured, and I-"
"Perhaps, Sergeant, you would like to take a breath?" Spikings cuts in and she smiles slightly, inhaling deeply as she realises her need to just tell him has her babbling in exactly the way she planned not to. "Firstly, congratulations. Secondly, there's no requirement for me to assign you to desk work but it will mean thinking about how we approach certain operations, Harry. I'm sure you realise that. I'm sure you've thought about keeping your partner out of harm's way too, Dempsey, so if it means you need to occasionally work with another officer I trust you'll be cooperative."
"With respect, Sir, he's my fiance, not my keeper." She snaps slightly and then bites her lip and glances at Dempsey who, uncharacteristically, has yet to say a word. "Sorry, I...but yes, I do realise that, and of course I won't be intentionally putting myself at any unnecessary risk. I do, however, want to be treated like I'm still perfectly capable of doing my job, Sir."
"Understood, Sergeant. Then I think everything should be fine, don't you?" Spikings smiles at her and she nods, relieved at how simple that was despite her working herself up into quite a frenzy at the thought of it. "I'll leave it to you to put the rest of the team in the picture whenever you see fit."
"That was much less worrying than my brain had made it out to be. And yes, before you say anything, I probably should have known it would be fine." She leans into Dempsey as they stand in front of the coffee machine, glancing around quickly to confirm they're alone before brushing her hand softly against his. "Now do you admit I was right and he already knew?"
"He didn't scratch his head and his eyebrows stayed in their regular spot, so yeah…he knew." He shrugs and squeezes her hand as he passes her a mug of what she presumes is tea. "You okay now that's over with?"
"I'm fine." She leans up and plants a quick kiss on his cheek, smiling at his surprise. "If you can find me some toast with honey I'll be even better."
"Baby wants honey, huh?" He squeezes her shoulder and steps over to his desk, putting his mug down and watching her as she sits down.
"Harry wants honey." She pushes a stack of files aside and blows on her tea. "Baby will take whatever Mummy wants this morning."
"Harry didn't get enough honey this weekend…" He smirks, lowering his voice slightly. "From her honey?"
"Oh, she did. She got plenty." She thinks about their weekend, about his hands, his lips, how he's even more gentle and attentive now than ever, and she smiles across the desk at him. "And now she wants breakfast."
"Honey for my honey." He stands up and winks at her as he heads for the door. "Coming right up."