Chapter 3: Operation - Gin-chan and Tsukki Big Date Night Part One
The sky darkened quickly and by the time they reached Hinowa's shop she and the others were beginning to close up while Sadaharu watched and yawned, so they helped.
"Gin-chan!" Kagura smiled at him as they worked, her eyes as wide as ever whenever she saw him. "Hinowa-chan said we could stay over, uh huh, isn't that cool?! We're gonna watch 'Making it through, ya b*******' with Seita all night!"
"Arfff!" Sadaharu yipped happily and as always, tried to swallow Gintoki's head.
"Oi! Get off'a me!" he yelled, sounding more annoyed than hurt as he shoved the large dog away and it licked his face. "I told you to leave the mutt at home. And what're you showing that poor kid? Don't fill his head with rubbish," he said to Kagura as he stroked Sadaharu's fur.
"Like you filled hers with," Shinpachi said, dryly.
"Shut it, is it my fault her head's like a sponge that only soaks up nonsense?" he drawled.
"Yarp," Sadaharu barked.
"It's the circle of life, uh huh," Kagura nodded. "Gin-chan filled my head with useless stuff so now I get to fill Seita's head with that same nonsense, uh huh," he said.
"What kind of circle of life is that?!" Gintoki exclaimed.
"The circle of life that Zimba went through, uh huh."
"Zimba? What kind of rip off is that?! Stupid kid," he muttered.
"Neh, Gin-chan," Kagura said, unperturbed. "Where've you been all day?" she asked.
"Oh, here and there," he shrugged.
"You didn't lose all our money playing pachinko again, did you?" Shinpachi asked, unimpressed. "We need to buy food soon," he sighed.
"Oi! That was one time!" Gintoki yelled. "Okay, maybe two...okay, okay more than two, but you haven't starved yet, have you? And you should take a look at your own expenses before trashing me about mine! Who always has to keep paying for new glasses when you keep breaking them?! Glasses aren't cheap!"
"That's right!" Kagura exclaimed, pointing at Shinpachi. "If your personality wasn't just in your glasses, we could get rid of them and save Gin-chan's money," she said.
"OIIIIIIII!" Shinpachi shouted, "How long are you guys gonna milk that stupid glasses gag?! I can't see without them! I need them! And the dojo is struggling and aniue doesn't have much money and you're supposed to pay us!"
"Your pay usually goes on your glasses," Gintoki replied, dryly.
"Hehehehehehe," Kagura giggled.
"Oi, you shouldn't laugh either. You always end up ruining your clothes in a fight so I have to keep buying you new ones. You ruin them so bad even I can't fix the damn things!"
"You tried to fix her clothes?" Hinowa asked.
"Well, who else is gonna?! I fixed the last lot up so much it ended up looking like a patchwork quit!"
"They're my favourite pyjamas, uh huh," Kagura nodded, happily, "Patchwork pyjamas!"
"I told you to throw those things out already, not hoard them and use them as pyjamas. Besides, who wants patchwork pyjamas?" he grumbled.
"I do! I love them and I'm not gonna throw them out, nu-huh!" she exclaimed, sounding horrified.
"They're worthless, throw them out. And anyway, why can't your bald old man help you out, huh? He's been the universe's best alien hunter for ages now, he must've saved some serious cash."
"Mami always said he was as bad at saving money as he was at looking after his hair," she replied.
"Great," Gintoki face-palmed. "Then, why do you have to keep buying the same style? Can't you at least buy something cheaper?" Gintoki demanded.
"A heroine has to have her signature look, uh huh," she answered. "If you don't let me keep buying my cute clothes I'll just steal yours. Or I'll walk around naked," she said.
"OIIIII!" Gintoki and Shinpachi yelled at the same time.
"Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi exclaimed, "Y...you can't do that!"
"Why not?" she asked, completely innocently. "Gin-chan walks around half naked at home, uh huh. He did it yesterday," she stated.
"I was coming out of the bathroom, you stupid kid! And you stole my clothes!" Gintoki yelled, angrily. "That wasn't my fault! And it's my house! I should be allowed to walk around naked or half naked or naked and covered in honey if I wanted to!"
"Hmm?" Hinowa gave her usual serene smile, "What a nice image. Nee, Tsukuyo?"
"...Erm..." Tsukuyo blushed and stared at her friend.
"Why naked and covered in honey? Are we going beetle hunting again? Do you have to turn into the honey forest sprite like Gorilla-san did, uh huh?" Kagura asked.
"Please stop talking about this. Please, I'm begging all of you. It's disgusting. How am I supposed to get rid of that mental picture now?" he shuddered. "And anyway, you can't do that, Gin-san because Kagura-chan lives there too and she's a girl!" Shinpachi said, flushed. "I live there most of the time, too and I don't wanna see that either," he added.
"Well, kids these days grow up pretty quick, y'know. They learn more from TV in one month than they do from real people in five years. And Kagura watches more TV than we do so mentally, she's probably around fifty or something. But what kids learn from TV isn't real, I'd rather she learn from the real world. We wouldn't want her to keep thinking that everything she sees on TV is real. TV relationships aren't very realistic and it's not gonna teach her about anatomy, is it? She's gonna have to lean about that sometime, right?" Gintoki shrugged.
"EHHHHH?!" Shinpachi cried. "What kind of half assed excuse is that?! You can't do that! Just how much of a useless adult are you? No, that goes beyond useless!"
"So I can walk around naked at home, uh huh?" Kagura asked, ignoring what they'd said.
"NOO!" Gintoki and Shinpachi yelled in unison again, both glaring at her.
"Wraa!" Sadaharu shook his head.
"See, even the mutt agrees!" Gintoki said, happily.
"Why?" she pouted.
"B...b...because you're a girl," Shinpachi answered, "And you live with guys."
"But..."
"Cut it out!" Gintoki yelled at her. "Don't even joke about it. I'll get sent to prison, y'know? Is that what you want, huh? You wanna send me to prison?! I swear if I'm going to prison I'll drag you along with me! Don't think I won't just 'cause you're a kid! You think you could survive in prison, eh?"
"You were the king of the prison, uh huh," she shrugged, "We'd be fine, uh huh. I'd be the princess and challenge your authority for the plate of everyone's pudding every day."
"No one gets in the way of my happy prison pudding time!" he yelled, brandishing his fist at her.
"Erm...Gin-san was in prison?" Seita mumbled to Shinpachi.
"He was framed, that time anyway," the young samurai answered as Gintoki and Kagura continued to yell at each other. "But...yeah...he made himself the big boss of all the inmates," he explained, "He made them give him their serving of pudding every day. He said it was fun."
"Prison...fun?" the boy blinked.
"I know," Shinpachi sighed. "They're both idiots," he mumbled, exasperated.
"Quit messing around!" Gintoki yelled shoving Kagura who growled back at him.
"Happy pudding time!" Kagura screamed, pulling at his wavy hair.
"Die, traitor!" the samurai hissed.
"Mah, mah, you two...calm down," Shinpachi said, exasperated. "Geez, you're just as bad as each other," he sighed.
"Puddddinggggggg!" Kagura cried having completely ignored Shinpachi and Seita was doubled over laughing at them now. Even Tsukuyo couldn't help but smirk at them.
"You make a good parent, Gin-san," Hinowa smiled at them.
"Eh?" Gintoki said, and stopped in the middle of their fight. Kagura was bending his right arm back at an awkward angle and he was tugging at her now very messy hair with his other arm. "A what? Parent? Since when was I a parent?" he snapped. "I know I was pretty drunk a while ago but...I can't have been that drunk...could I? No, no, no, no..." he mumbled, "I'd remember...I think."
"If you got some poor woman pregnant, you're gonna have to get a real job and grow up, uh huh," Kagura told him, dryly and smacked him over the head.
"Shut it, brat," he snapped at her but she just laughed again.
After eating their meal together, Kagura led Seita, a reluctant Shinpachi and a sleepy Sadaharu into the other room to watch her show, leaving Gintoki, Tsukuyo and Hinowa alone.
After a while, Hinowa yawned a rather dramatic yawn and turned to Tsukuyo. "I think I'll turn in for the night. I need my beauty sleep. Tsukuyo, would you mind helping me?" she asked.
"A...sure..." the blonde nodded.
"Oh! Is that new?" Hinowa asked, pointing at the new hair piece Tsukuyo was wearing.
"Eh...err...yeah..." Tsukuyo blushed.
"It's beautiful," the woman remarked. "Goodnight, Gin-san," she smiled at him, enigmatically. To him, that smile said a lot of things as always. She was an odd woman, but he supposed that he was an odd person too, so he couldn't really judge. "Please don't leave on my account. Tsukki will be right back," Hinowa said as she left.
Gintoki was slouching lazily on the sofa with his eyes closed, wondering just what Hinowa was planning next, or should he say, what Tsukuyo was planning next.
When he heard footsteps approaching he opened his eyes and stared at what he saw, stunned. Tsukuyo was wearing an elaborate pink kimono, worthy of any famous courtesan with multiple layers, gold embroidery and no doubt, hidden pockets for her beloved kunai.
"Oi...w...you look different," he managed to say, staying at her, "Did you get a personality change?"
"Shut it! I changed my clothes not my personality, idiot!" she yelled.
"Duh."
"Come on," Tsukuyo said, mustering her courage. "We're going out," she said. She walked forwards and stood in front of him, her back to him as she hid her face again.
"We are?" he asked.
"Mmmm," she nodded.
"I see," he smiled.
"B...but ya don't have t...to...if ya d...don't want to..."
"I want to," he stopped her as she stammered.
"Ya don't even know where..."
"Don't care," Gintoki shrugged.
"Eh?"
"You got all dressed up. It'd be shame not to go now, doesn't matter where," he said, idly walking ahead of her and gazing out at the night sky which was illuminated by the full moon and thousands of shining stars. "It's a nice night and there's a beautiful moon," he turned back to her, "So, let's go out."
She led the way through the streets and they walked in silence for a while. As expected, the streets were busier at night than they were during the day in the city that never slept.
"Oi, you're quiet. What's up?" he asked, trailing beside her.
She looked even more timid than before, if that was even possible. She was hunched in on herself, her head leaning forwards so that her face was cast in shadow.
"...N...nothing," Tsukuyo answered.
"And we already agreed not to go to a bar, right?" he asked her.
"No...we're not goin' to a bar," she replied.
"Aaaand you wouldn't be taking me to a love hotel..."
"OI! What'd ya mean a love hotel?! Idiot! And I thought ya didn't care where we're goin'."
"I don't, but we've walked down this street three times now, we're just going round in circles. People'll think we're casing the place for a robbery or something" he said.
"Like I could pull off a robbery dressed like this," she snorted.
"Oi...so you're saying you would rob someone if you weren't dressed like that?"
"We're not robbin' anyone," Tsukuyo told him.
"You could distract people and I'll steal whatever it is we're stealing then we can make a run for it," he suggested.
"No," she snapped, leading him down a different street.
"Fine," he shrugged, "Don't really wanna go to prison again anyway. So, what's your plan? Keep walking all night? Or a love hotel?"
"No!" she cried, flushed red.
"Then what?"
"This," Tsukuyo said. She stopped and looked at a familiar, traditional building, it was the same one that the scheming group of women had led Gintoki before dumping him with the drunk terminator and leaving him to die.
"Oi...isn't this just basically a traditional style love hotel?" he asked, dryly.
"Shut up!
From the corner of the building, Hinowa was sat in her wheelchair, her legs covered with a soft patterned blanket to ward of the chill. Beside her stood her son Seita, Kagura and Shinpachi.
"Operation 'Gin-chan and Tsukki big date night' is a go, boss," Kagura said, saluting to Hinowa.
"Mah, Kagura-chan," she smiled, holding her dainty hand to her mouth.
"Permission to attack and kill all life forms, boss?" she then said.
"Eh?!" Shinpachi and Seita cried.
"That's the wrong plan, Kagura-chan. That's the backup plan," Hinowa replied in a startlingly calm voice.
"Ah," Kagura nodded.
"What do you mean 'ah'?" Shinpachi demanded, "What kind of backup plan is that?"
"Ka'a-chan..." Seita blanched.
Tsukuyo led him through the building to a large enclosed garden. It had a small pond filled with koi fish, stone sculptures and perfect flowers.
"...T...they say this is the best place in Yoshiwara..." Tsukuyo said.
"What? The garden? What for?"
She looked up at the night's sky, filled with stars and smiled, "To watch the stars," she answered.
"That so?" Gintoki gave a small smile. He walked into the garden and lay comfortably on his his back, his arms stretched behind and his fingers laced beneath his head. He looked over when he heard the silken rustling of Tsukuyo's kimono as she moved to sit elegantly beside him. "So," he began, "That was your plan, huh? Star gazing? Could've just said so from the start."
"W...w...I..."
"The Hyakka told me that you're not working today. Hinowa made you take time off again, didn't she?" he said, smirking at her.
"I..." she stammered again.
"Well, you paid for all those cakes earlier this morning, and for the movie, so I'll let it go," he shrugged.
"Why would they t...tell ya anythin'? They're meant to be on my side, damn it," she snapped, indignantly.
"Maybe they like me better," Gintoki suggested.
"Oi!"
"I'm the fun boss after all."
"Ya not the boss! Ya wouldn't even pass basic training for the Hyakka, bastard," she growled at him.
"That so, huh?" he drawled. "Maybe you're right, I looked pretty silly in one of your kimonos, don't really have the waistline for it, y'know...or melons."
"What're ya talkin' 'bout?! Melons?!" she exclaimed, "Idiot!"
"Well, I meant boobs..." Gintoki clarified, needlessly.
"I know what ya meant!" Tsukuyo hissed.
"Anyway, you can keep your basic training. I'll guess I'll just stick with being a samurai. I had enough basic training for that anyway. Don't really want anymore."
"I still say ya wouldn't pass," she crossed her arms.
"I'll take your word for it," he said with a small smile.
"Ya probably can't even run in heels," Tsukuyo remarked.
"Wait, is that in the training? What kind of training is that? And why would anyone want to run in those things? Wouldn't it just be easier to wear normal shoes?"
"They are normal shoes," she defended.
"Aaaargh, I'll never understand women," he sighed.
"Well, even if you're not one of us Hyakka and ya can't run in heels...and even though you'll never understand women...we don't mind havin' ya round here...in this town of women," Tsukuyo said after a minute.
"Even if it's just for the free sake?"
"Ya shameless freeloader...Most men don't come here just for free booze," she said, fondly.
"Well, I can't drink for free at home. The old hag keeps a score of everything I drink from her bar. She's got eyes like a hawk, y'know. You'd think at her age they'd get worse, but it's like her eyes just keep getting better and better. Sheesh," he complained.
"Hmmm," Tsukuyo scoffed at him, "Well, Hinowa did say you could drink for free here for life."
"Almost makes me forgive her for being so sneaky," he mumbled quietly.
"Huh?"
"Nothing," he said, quickly.
"I think she might regret it one day," Tsukuyo said, ignoring his mumbling.
"Probably," he agreed. "Or maybe I might," he added, confusing her again.
"What'd ya..."
"It's bright tonight," Gintoki spoke over he before she could ask him anything. He looked up at the full moon which was shining brightly in the sky above them. "Makes me wish we had some free sake right here," he lamented.
"I can go get some," she offered, genuinely.
"Not funny. I am never drinking with you again. Ever. You almost killed me. You shouldn't even be allowed within a hundred miles of alcohol. It's a lethal combination."
"I wasn't gonna drink it!"
"All the same, I'll pass. It's not worth the risk."
"Aren't we getting Tsukki drunk?" Kagura asked Hinowa, sounding disappointed.
"Not tonight, Kagura-chan," the woman answered.
"Awww! But it'd be fun."
"It'd probably kill Gin-san," Shinpachi told her.
"No way, you can't kill idiots," she shook her head.
"I'm pretty sure you can," he replied.
"I'm sorry," Tsukuyo said to Gintoki.
"Huh?" he hummed.
"For lyin'. For makin' ya think I had to work," she explained.
"Don't be," he said, "It all worked out. It was fun. Even the stupid movie."
"Fun, huh? Yeah...well...good."
"Now if you'd just stop throwing kunai at me, it'd be even better," Gintoki said.
"Well, if ya didn't annoy me all the time and say stupid things, maybe I wouldn't throw them at ya so much."
"Oh, well if I annoy you so much, then what am I doing here? This was your idea," he retorted and she blushed again.
The truth was, she'd been talking to her friend Hotaru a lot over the last few weeks, visiting her frequently. Hotaru had barely seen her interact with Gintoki for more than maybe five or ten minutes and she seemed to know, just as Hinowa and the Hyakka did, that Tsukuyo was in love with the silver haired samurai and didn't have a clue as to what to do about it. If anything at all. She insisted that neither she nor Gintoki were the type to settle down and make promises to one another, but Hotaru always replied that they didn't need to be. Two people, she'd tell her friend, could simply be two people in love and it didn't need to be complicated. And coming from someone who had all but given up on love until fairly recently, that was quite a statement.
Tsukuyo would tell Hotaru that she didn't know if the samurai did love her. The man was surrounded by strong, beautiful women who cared about him and from what she'd been told, he'd not had a relationship with any of them. Hinowa would tell her that Gintoki did in fact, love her. That it was as clear as day, Hinowa would claim but still, Tsukuyo wasn't sure. She needed to know. Unfortunately for her, the fact that she was in love with the man made it difficult for her to act rationally around him. Other men had never made her so nervous and it just confused her even more. She was used to being a woman who looked after herself and didn't rely on anyone, and yet she didn't mind relying on him.
Therefore, she'd asked a Hinowa for help. She'd been so nervous the entire time but Hinowa had beamed with joy.
"Guess it was...my idea," Tsukuyo said quietly, "Wasn't it...today?"
"Something wrong?" Gintoki asked her, "You've been acting kinda weird. Got a fever or something?"
"I wonder," she whispered.
"Eh? You do? What're you sitting outside for then, dummy?" he asked, sitting up. "Come on, let's go back," he said.
"I'm fine," she insisted, "I'm not sick."
"You'd say that even if you were," he scoffed and reached out his hand. He placed his palm over her forehead to check for a fever. "Well, you do feel kinda warm," he declared. The problem was that it was caused by her nervous blush and furiously beating heart now that he was so close to her. She was surprised that he couldn't hear her heart beating just from being so close, it felt so loud to her.
"I...I'm fine...I...I don't have a fever," she insisted, looking away. She began counting in her head in an attempt to calm herself down. It didn't work.
"Better safe than sorry, right?"
"I...I don't want to go home. I'm fine, really."
"You should take it more seriously, y'know?"
"Fine, if I feel any worse, I'll go home, b...but for now...let me stay 'ere," Tsukuyo said and he sighed.
"You're stubborn...aren't you?" he said, ruefully.
"Ya can't say that, ya just as bad."
"Guess that's true," Gintoki chuckled.
"Just let me stay 'ere," she repeated. "I don't even care if I get a cold or a fever or if it rains or if there's a hurricane. I don't even mind that we're not the kind of people who do this sort of thing. Even if we're not the kind of people who belong to others...I don't mind that. Just let me stay 'ere...by your side."
"What're you talking about? Is this the fever talking?"
"No...this is me talkin', just me. Not the shinigami tayuu or the leader of the Hyakka...just me."
"That so?" he asked, smiling. While it was true that Tsukuyo hadn't changed much, at least she could be her own person now, rather than the mindless clone that her master Jirai had intended. She'd always be a workaholic who put others before herself and that would probably never change but just the fact that she was admitting that she was finally doing something for herself was something he never thought he'd see. So how could he deny her that? "Alright then. If that's what you want," he said and leaned back from her a little.
Without another word, he lay down so that his head was resting on Tsukuyo's folded lap atop the soft silken layers of her kimono.
"W...w...what're ya...d...doin'?" she stammered, looking down at him. His eyes were closed and he looked perfectly content, the complete contrast to her blushing red face and wide eyes.
"Staying here, like you wanted," Gintoki answered. "I'm staying right here, by the moon," he said, opening his eyes and looking up, both at the glowing silver moon in the sky, and at the woman who was the moon of Yoshiwara. "You'll probably just punch me or something and I don't mind. Well, I do but...just leave it for later, 'kay?"
"I..."
"This was a nice idea," he said.
"...Mmmm," she hummed.
"Why'd you think...when we look up and see the moon...it makes people all nostalgic?" he pondered, suddenly. "I don't want to look up and look back at the same time."
Tsukuyo looked up at the moon. "Don't know why," she said, "Never thought about it."
"It's not fair," he whispered. "All we can do is stay stuck on the ground and howl up at it and ask it why...The moon's so far above my level it's laughable," he said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.
"It means whatever you think it means," Gintoki said, vaguely.
"I don't think...it's laughing at ya," Tsukuyo said after a moment.
"Why's that?"
"The moon's not cruel," she said, simply.
"...Maybe not," he mumbled.
'Click' Hinowa's small camera made a quiet clicking sound.
"Erm...did you just..." Shinpachi began, stunned.
"...Take a photo?" Seita finished, just as surprised.
"Of course," she smiled enigmatically at them.
"Ooooooh, good idea, boss!" Kagura said.
For a while neither Gintoki nor Tsukuyo said anything, they sat in comfortable silence until it began to rain, lightly at first and the silver haired samurai opened his eyes to stare up at the small droplets of rain failing from the sky. He raised his hand to shield his eyes and turned his attention to Tsukuyo.
"Don't suppose you've got an umbrella hidden under that dress, do you?" he asked.
"Why would I?!"
"Well, you've probably hidden some kunai somewhere, so why not an umbrella?"
"Kunai are useful!"
"So are umbrellas."
"I didn't know it would rain!"
"Oi...wait...did you just admit you actually have kunai under that dress?"
"I always have kunai! I told ya, they're useful!"
"Where'd you hide those things, anyway?" he asked she she flushed red.
"None o' ya damn business!" she yelled just as the rain began to worsen.
"Think my parade just got rained on," Gintoki sighed. He pushed himself up off the ground and helped her up as well, ignoring her embarrassed and feeble protests. "Better go inside. You'll ruin that thing if we stay out here," he said.
He slid the door closed to a room very much like the one he'd been in before. It was large and looked very expensive. Each wall was elaborately decorated, it was dimly lit and there was an assortment of sake bottles and a comfortable looking futon as would be expected in a room such as this in Yoshiwara.
Gintoki turned to Tsukuyo who was wordlessly drying off her kimono with a towel she'd taken from one of the cupboards.
"So...you gonna tell me what this is all about?" Gintoki asked her after a moment.
"W...what d'ya mean?" she paused in her work, nervously.
"The star gazing? The cafe? Paying for the movie tickets?"
"P...people do that, it's normal. Isn't it?"
"Suppose so," he shrugged. "Look...was it just a way of saying 'thanks for helping my friend'? 'Cause I keep telling you, I didn't do anything..."
"It's got nothin' t'do with that," she snapped.
"Fine," he said. "In that case, y'know...the Hyakka told me today was a date," he added with a smirk, "Was it?"
"A...d...date?" she flushed, turning bright red, "Well...I..."
"'Cause if it was, I don't mind."
"I...I mean..."
"But if you're just thanking me for helping your friend...which, by the way I didn't do, I ain't gonna make you stay here if you don't want to. Consider it a job well done. I've had free food and I've spent the day with a beautiful woman. I'm happy. I'll even give you a five star review if you want me to."
"A...a review?! What's that supposed to mean, bastard?! This ain't nothin' to do with work! And I ain't that kind of workin' woman, damn it!" she glared at him.
"So it was a date?"
"..." Tsukuyo sighed and decided to look straight at him. "Fine...yeah...i...it was...m...meant to be a...a date," she admitted.
Peaking through a small slot in the shoji door which they'd opened just a little bit, Hinowa and the others smiled.
"Well done, Tsukuyo," Hinowa whispered.
"She looks like a tomato," Kagura remarked, sounding worried, "Are people meant to be that colour? Is she okay? Does she need to go to the hospital? Is Tsukki gonna die? Is she?!"
"She'll be fine, Kagura-chan," the woman assured her.
"If she doesn't die of embarrassment," Shinpachi said, sarcastically. "And should we even be here? I feel like some kind of peeping tom," he sighed.
"I've waited a long time for Tsukuyo to admit how she feels so I want to be here to see it," Hinowa told him.
"Doesn't that kinda make you a stalker?" the young samurai mumbled.
"Not at all. I'm just a concerned friend...with a camera."
"...I see..." he sighed, unconvinced.
"Here," Gintoki tossed a small pouch from his sleeve over to Tsukuyo and she caught it deftly. "Why don't you smoke your damn pipe for a bit. Breathe it out the door though, eh?"
"What's this?" she asked.
"Tobacco," he answered, "From the surface. Granny suggested it a while ago. I can't vouch for it though. Who knows what happens to a persons' taste buds when they reach a hundred years. It could taste like s*** for all I know. And she would suggest the most expensive one too, damn granny."
Tsukyo took a moment to light her pipe which she'd stored in her sleeve and breathed out the smoke from the tobacco she poured into it. "It's nice," she smiled, serenely.
"That so?" he drawled, "Damn, you've got expensive taste."
"I'm a Yoshiwara woman, 'course I do," she replied and he snorted. "Hinowa told me 'bout that place...that dessert cafe from this morning. It opened a few months ago. She said they do the best sweets in Yoshiwara. The woman who owns it was a prostitute, she said she wanted a fresh start..."
"Well, she makes the best cakes alright but why stay here?" he asked.
"This town's all she's known since she was young," Tsukuyo shrugged. "Same as the rest of us, same as her little sister. We let the kid join the Hyakka, we're trainin' her. The older sister is grateful so they gave us all that food for free. I wasn't expecting' ya to eat so much though, so now I feel kinda guilty."
"Oi...you made me think you treated me to good food and you got it for free. That's sneaky, tayuu," he drawled and she shrugged.
"I thought ya'd like it," she said, "Although from what I've heard, it's a miracle ya not already diabetic."
"What? So you took me there to tip me over the edge to a lifetime of diabetes? I take it back, you're not sneaky, you're cruel. So cruel to the saviour of Yoshiwara. You want me to die? That what you want, huh? You want me to just commit seppuku right here?!"
"Idiot," she replied, rolling her eyes. "It was all sugar free," she told him, avoiding his eyes.
"Eh? 'Sugar free'? Well, I know what those words mean separately but together...no...no, I don't understand. Makes no sense."
"I won't be the one responsible for ya gettin' diabetes. Ya'd make me pay for all ya hospital bills and I ain't doin' that. So I told 'em to make it all without sugar."
"But I need sugar to live!" he yelled, indignantly.
"Shut up. Ya didn't even realise it didn't have any. Ya don't need it."
"Heh, you're gonna nag me more than my doctor, aren't you?" Gintoki scoffed.
"Why bother? If ya won't listen to a doctor, ya ain't gonna listen to me."
"There's just something about doctors that creeps me out," he shuddered comically. "They're like clowns. Everyone's scared of them," he said.
"Clowns ain't scary!"
"Y'know what'd make it worse? If the doctor had a clown face? A clown doctor..."
"Why would a clown be a doctor?"
"He works two jobs to put his kids through school. Don't judge."
"What?!" she exclaimed, confused, "Wouldn't a doctors' pay be enough by itself?" she said, playing along.
"Shut up, kids are expensive! And in today's economy even if they move out, they'll end up right back on your sofa like a boomerang! You could be looking after a kid till it's fifty these days, y'know."
"Ah, you're in trouble then," she said, puffing on her pipe, "Ya've got two kids and no money. How're ya gonna deal with that?"
"Good question," Gintoki grumbled. "Maybe I should sell my blood. Oh, and I heard you can get good money for a kidney...but I don't think it'll just grow back after they slice it out and then I wouldn't be able to drink again, ah...what should I do?"
"Could just stop drinkin," she suggested.
"Quit being so stingey, honey," he grumbled, making her blush again. "First you want me to give up sugar, now you want me to quit drinking. You're such a troublesome woman," he grumbled.
"W...who ya callin' honey?!"
"Well, you're nagging me like a wifey," he said and within a split second, a kunai lodged itself in the centre of his forehead and he fell to the ground comically like a dead weight.
"Who ya callin' a wifey?!" she yelled indignantly, and stood up.
"Alright, alright, calm down," he pulled the kunai from his head and rolled his eyes. "Sit down," he said, gently patting the floor beside him. He removed his ever present bokuto from his belt sash and placed it on the floor to his other side.
She sighed deeply and after a moment, put her weapons away up her sleeves and sat beside him.
He reached his arm over the the selection of bottles that had so far stood untouched. There was also a small selection of what looked like expensive sweets and a few chocolates. "Oi, if this is sake, you're not touching a drop," he remarked and poured himself some into a small cup. "What kind of sake is this?" he muttered before he drank it. "Oi, she's really trying to butter me up, isn't she? Giving me strawberry milk and chocolate. No, maybe she just doesn't want the drunk terminator on the loose again," he added. "Who puts milk in a sake bottle?" he pondered aloud then shrugged, "Who cares?"
"Strawberry milk?" Tsukuyo scoffed.
"Oi, don't laugh, milk is a necessary part of a persons' diet. Calcium is important, y'know! Don't underestimate calcium!" He poured her some strawberry milk and handed her the cup, "Here," he said.
"Erm..."
"Drink it, 'cause you ain't getting any booze," he said.
Tsukuyo took the cup a little reluctantly and took a sip. "It's...not bad," she admitted, reluctantly and took another sip, "S'nice..."
"Right?! That's what I keep telling people! But do they listen? No. Sheesh," he grumbled. He picked up her pipe and sniffed at the smoke from the tobacco he'd bought for her and then grimaced at the foul smell. "Urgh. Gross. You can keep that," he declared, holding it out for her.
"How generous of ya," she said, sarcastically and took a puff of smoke then blew it in his face with a smile.
Gintoki coughed and wafted the air around him, "Oi! Quit doing that! It stinks! I told you to blow it out the door, not at me! Do I look like a door?!"
"Door's too far away," she shrugged and he scoffed. "Thanks...for the tobacco," she said.
"You're the only woman I know who'd be thanking me for that poison...Granny doesn't count," he said dismissively whilst pouring himself another drink.
Before he said anything else, in a moment of bravery, Tsukuyo leaned over and planted a lightning fast kiss on his cheek. Then she shuffled back and focused all of her attention on smoking her pipe.
Because Tsukuyo was so preoccupied her embarrassment, she didn't hear the quiet 'click' of Hinowa's camera, but Gintoki did. He looked over at the slightly open door and sighed when he saw her. Shinpachi, Kagura and Seita had managed to hide behind the door so that he didn't see them as well. Hinowa smiled at him and gave him the 'thumbs up'.
"Maybe we should pick another room," he grumbled.
"W...why? What's wrong with this one?" Tsukuyo asked, stunned.
"...Bad feng shui," he replied.
"Eh?" she blinked.
"Really, really, really bad feng shui, I'm telling you," he insisted, "And it's haunted."
"What're ya talkin' about? It's fine, there's nothin' wrong with the room. I was told this is the best one in the building. And why would it be haunted? There's no such thing as ghosts, anyway!"
"Fine," he shrugged, "Don't say I didn't warn you."
"Warn me 'bout what?"
"You'll see," he answered, ominously. "More importantly...you kissed me," he stated.
"S...so...w...what if I did," Tsukuyo stammered. "T...that's what ya do on a d...date, ain't it?"
"Hmmm," he hummed, "Guess that's true."
She tired to lean across to kiss him again but he hastily held up his hands and shuffled back. She looked confused and a little hurt but he quickly explained, sounding embarrassed. "I'm just a little wary when it comes to you, tayuu. I've been a victim of way too many kunais to the head and your killer suplex enough times that I probably have brain damage," he said, dramatically and rubbed his head. "Getting thrown through the floor head first hurts, y'know," he added.
"Ya already had brain damage before ya met me," she said.
"So cruel," the samurai grumbled.
"I'm not gonna do that...I won't throw a kunai at ya...or throw ya through the floor," Tsukuyo sighed.
"Sure, you say that now..."
"I mean it!"
"Uh huh."
"I just told ya I ain't gonna do anythin'!"
"Oh, sorry if I don't believe you," he replied. "You threw one at me earlier and who knows how many of those damn sharp kunai you're carrying. Bringing those things on a date is just rude, tayuu," he added.
"Well, ya bought ya bokuto," she retorted, pointing at the ever present wooden sword that he'd placed on the floor at his side.
"In my defence you never actually said that today was meant to be a date until now," he said, "But...maybe we're both as bad as each other."
Tsukuyo sighed then reached into her right sleeve. She removed what appeared to be an arm guard filled with kunai and did the same on her left arm. Then she removed more kunai from her obi and from around her ankles as well as two sharp daggers.
"Oi...why did you bring so many?" his eye twitched, nervously, at the amount of weapons she had.
"That's what I'm usually carryin," she replied, setting all the kunai down on the floor in a neat row.
"What are you? An armoury?"
"I'm always prepared."
"For what? A war?" he snorted.
"That's all of 'em," she said, adding yet another dagger to the pile of weapons. "Better?" she asked.
"Well, actually now I'm even more worried," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"...Would this help?" she asked, quietly. She slid down one shoulder of her dress like she'd done before and she got the same reaction. She had to admit, it was felt good to know that she could embarrass him too, even if only a little bit compared to how she'd been feeling for the entire day. The samurai turned as red as she'd been and she couldn't help but smirk.
"What the heck are you trying to 'help'?!" Gintoki exclaimed. "Why are you looking at me like I'm a corrupt politician again?! Cut it out! Where'd you even learn that? How can look at someone like that and but get so embarrassed about other stuff? You're just messing with me right? Just a joke, right? Ah! You're so confusing! Argh! You're just laughing at me, aren't you?"
"I'm not laughing at ya!" Tsukuyo exclaimed. "And it's not a joke! I was just tryin' to kiss ya!" she yelled. Then, realising what she'd said, she turned bright red with embarrassment again. "I...b...but if...if ya don't want me to..." she mumbled, quickly.
She looked so despondent as she said it that he felt almost cruel for having said anything at all. But really, what was he supposed to do? It wasn't that he didn't want to kiss her, quite the opposite in fact. The problem was, he couldn't understand what had prompted her to actually kiss him in the first place. They'd known each other for a while now and they trusted each other completely and there'd certainly been an affection there almost from the start. But she'd never seemed the type to want to kiss anyone. Well, maybe that was because she'd never given herself the opportunity, he wondered. Tsukuyo had dedicated her life to protecting Hinowa and Yoshiwara and she'd excluded anything else. What if this was her allowing herself more freedom?
It wasn't as though he was blind when it came to women, and it wasn't just his ego telling him that Tsukuyo liked him. She wasn't very good at hiding it really even before the love potion debacle. If he was being honest with himself, he liked her too. Quite a lot. He admired her and he certainly found her attractive. But he couldn't help but wonder if Hinowa had pushed her too much or if Tsukuyo had been talking to Hotaro about more than her beloved's new business ventures. Well, he might never get an explanation as to why she'd taken him out of her version of a 'date' but did it really matter? They'd both had a good time. He'd made it clear that she didn't need to stay any longer if she didn't want to and yet she was still right there beside him.
So, he did what he wanted to do and he kissed her beautiful, pink lips. It was a chaste, perfectly innocent kiss but Tsukuyo turned an even brighter shade of red and she was sat as motionless as a statue.
"I never said I didn't want to," he told her. "But, y'know, when you turn into a statue like that, it doesn't give a guy a good impression," he drawled, "Though, I guess it's better than trying to kill me."
"I'm...just..." she managed to say. Her eyes blinked rapidly and flicked from one point in the room to another, frantically.
"You're just what?" Gintoki asked and then he dropped another light kiss on the right corner of her mouth.
"...Erm..." her eyes flickered to the ceiling.
"Yeah?" he asked, kissing the other side of her mouth and then leaned back again.
"Well..."
"You're 'well'?" Gintoki asked. The left shoulder of her kimono was still resting down her arm where'd she'd left it, leaving her neck and shoulder bare so he planted another light kiss on the side of her neck. "That's good," he said and then kissed the other side of her neck and then her mouth again before he stopped.
He couldn't help but smirk when she let out a satisfied moan and then raised her hand, which was almost swamped in the numerous layers of elaborate sleeves, to her mouth in shock. She closed her eyes and turned her face away.
"And you just proved you can kiss me without trying to kill me, good for you," he told her, dryly. He leaned back, picked up his small cup of strawberry milk and drank it.
"Eh?" Tsukuyo blinked.
"What d'ya mean 'eh'?"
"...T...that's it?" she asked, still hiding her mouth and most of her face behind her sleeve.
"What more do you want exactly, tayuu?" he asked and picked up one of the chocolates, sniffed it and then ate it. "Oi...this is good," he mumbled and ate another.
"But..."
"You gotta try these," he told her, pointing to the chocolates.
"I'm not hungry," Tsukuyo replied. "I just..." she said but he interrupted her.
"But it's really good," he insisted.
"Maybe I'll try it later. I was tryin' to say..."
"Huh?" he hummed, taking another drink.
"Ya not even listenin' to me, are ya?" she grumbled and finally decided to lower her sleeve from hiding her face. She moved a little closer and reached out her hand to grab the front of his shirt and dragged him towards her so that she could kiss him.
If asked, she wouldn't have noticed that she gave another, much louder sounding moan when she suddenly felt his tongue at her lips or when she reciprocated as she tried copy what he was doing. It was vastly different than the last chaste kisses had been and it lasted longer too. She didn't want to stop even though she didn't have the faintest idea of what to do. Seeing people kissing and actually doing it, she was finding, were two entirely different things. He didn't seem as unsure as she did, or at least that's how it seemed to her.
Her right hand was still clutching the front of his shirt in a vice like grip while her left felt like a dead weight, hanging at her side. She barely noticed when he gently loosened her grip from his shirt and brought it to his shoulder and then he drew an arm around her, bringing her even closer to him. She did notice, though, now that she was basically pressed right up against him and that one of his hands was exploring the bare skin on her exposed shoulder and upper arm. It made her shiver and if she had any sense of embarrassment left, it didn't seem to matter because she was kissing him and he was kissing her and it felt wonderful. It felt like she was on fire but at the same time, it didn't feel like it was enough.
She could feel the muscles moving in his shoulder and his neck, she was close enough to share the warmth of his skin touching hers and they were sharing breaths at this point, so why didn't it feel like it was enough? Tsukuyo tried to bring herself closer to him, she brought her hand into his wavy hair which she found was actually quite soft, and planted her other hand on the muscles on his back, holding him to her as he held her.
When he suddenly drew his lips away from her she was about to complain, but then at least she could take a breath and she moaned loudly again when he stared a trail of kisses along her jaw, then down her neck and across her bare shoulder which made her breathing even more erratic. After a moment of enduring what felt like a tortuous trail of kisses along her skin, his lips met hers again and she couldn't breathe again.
Tsukuyo wasn't sure what part of her brain made her hand move from his back to his neck and then beneath under the collar of his black shirt. Fumbling she found it quite difficult as there wasn't much give in the fabric so she found the zip at the front and tugged it down as far as she could. When she got caught up in his yukata and she let out moans and hisses of complaint into their kiss he seemed to take notice of what she was doing and he helped her. Once his shirt was open she seemed to falter, unsure again for a moment and she pulled back from their kiss just enough to take a breath. She'd never felt like she'd held her breath for so long and she felt lightheaded, but not at all in a bad way.
She was relieved to see that he was breathing just as hard as she was. His eyes looked darker than usual and she could see his well defined chest rising and falling with each breath he took.
"What?" he asked her, his voice quiet.
Unable to think of anything other than her desire to kiss him again, Tsukuyo said nothing. She closed the distance between them and kissed him. He didn't seem to mind. Actually, she could swear she could almost feel his lips smiling beneath hers. She began trailing the fingers of one hand down his shoulder to the newly exposed skin on his chest and very tentatively moved along his collar bone, then over his pectoral muscles.
She'd never really been a woman who looked at men at all really, let alone wanted to touch them. She could acknowledge if a man was good looking but it didn't tend to interest her. She'd always had more important things to do. She'd listened to the women in Yoshiwara talk about attractive men many times and had always been able to dismiss it. Which is why part of her was so surprised that she suddenly found herself so consumed simply from touching someone like this even if it was someone she'd been wanting to be close to a long time now.
She'd likely never say it to his face, but Gintoki was an attractive man, physically and in his personality despite the fact that he was outlandish, often ridiculous and he could be extremely lazy as well as being a jerk sometimes, but when he was needed, he was there and people were drawn to him without really being able to explain why at first. He was the least judgmental person she'd ever met, besides Hinowa, and he was loyal to a fault. He was someone that she wanted to protect and be protected by and someone, she now acknowledged, she wanted to touch and be touched by.
And she was. She felt him shiver as her hand moved over his chest and settled on the bare skin on his back. It was a moment before she noticed that he'd been doing the same. Even through the numerous layers she was wearing, she could still feel the gentle pressure as his hand lowered and palmed at her breasts.
That was what shocked her the most. Admittedly he'd touched her breasts before, but each time, even though she'd been completely embarrassed, it had always been an accident. Never on purpose like this.
Shinpachi took a step back and he was shakily pointing at the door. He had a bleeding nose and wide, disbelieving eyes and all he could do was stammer, he was still staring at the closed door. "T...t...they're...Tsukuyo-san...a...and G...Gin-san w...was..." he stammered.
"Oi, pervert," Kagira drawled at him. "Quit being a pervert, you pervert," she said and knocked him over the head. "Che...why're you such a pervert?" she scoffed.
"Oooowwww!" the young samurai grimaced, leaping away from her and rubbing his head. "I'm not a pervert!" he exclaimed.
"You were watching Gin-chan and Tsukki doing **** and *****," the girl replied.
"They were just kissing! M...mostly. A...and you were watching too!"
"I'm a girl. It less creepy if I see anything than if you see anything, uh huh," she shrugged.
"Why?!" he exclaimed.
After a brief moment, Gintoki pulled away when he felt her freeze and he raised his arms over head defensively. "Don't kill me," he said, his voice slightly muffled. "Huh? I'm alive," Gintoki noted, surprised. He made sure that there were none of her infamous kunai lodged in his body or in his head and then turned to her.
Tsukuyo was sat as still as a statue, blushing a deep shade of red but at least she hadn't snatched up a kunai from the floor where she'd left them.
"Oi?" he blinked at her and waved a tentative hand in front of her eyes. "Oi, Tsukki? What's wrong? Did you press pause or something again? Oi! I think she's broken...oh boy, Hinowa's gonna kill me. The Hyakka's gonna kill me...ah, I'm so dead. They'll hunt me to ends of the earth, those women'll never give up. Ah, I'm dead. I'll have to move to outer space...Yorozuya in outer space, huh?" he pondered. "No, no, no, no, no. It won't come to that...or will it?" he said. He reached out and gently shook her shoulders. "Oi! Wake up, it's not sleepy time. You're not supposed to go to sleep after a kiss! What are you, some kind of reverse Sleeping Beauty?"
Her other sleeve fell down her shoulder, exposing more of her pale skin and the soft skin right above her breasts and he sighed, "That's really not helping. I'm only human, y'know. Gimme a break," he whined, looking up as though cursing the heavens.
"Eh?" she blinked at him, suddenly animated again.
"Oh, good," he sighed, dramatically. "You're alive. I won't have to move to outer space," he said.
"W...why'd ya stop?" Tsukuyo asked.
"OOIII?! What?! Where did your shyness go? Bring it back! Bring it back right now! I won't survive a night with the shinigami tayuu! At least be gentle with me, tayuu! Gin-san's been alone for a long time. It's been a while for Gin-san!"
"Well, it's been never f'me! How d'ya think I feel?!" she shouted, blushing again. She let out a deep sigh and tried to calm herself. "Err...I mean...whatever, it's fine. It's not a big deal," she insisted.
"Oi...your face says otherwise," he replied. He gently poked at her embarrassed face with his index finger and she smacked his hand away. "If we had a dictionary and looked up the word 'embarrassed' we'd see a picture of your red face right there."
"Shut up!"
"It wouldn't even need a definition, the look on your face speaks for itself."
"Shut up!" she reiterated. "I bet you had the same look on your stupid face the first time you ever..."
"What? The first time I ever what? Kissed someone?"
"Well...that...and...other things..."
"You can't even say it, can you?" Gintoki scoffed.
"I swear I'm gonna kill ya!" she growled at him.
"Oh? Really? Then you'll have to find yourself another willing victim for the night, tayuu," he replied, dryly. "Honestly...I don't remember it...not much of it, anyway," he admitted.
"Huh? Are ya just makin' fun of me again? It was that long ago ya can't even remember..."
"I don't mean it like that," he interrupted her.
"Then what d'ya mean it like?"
"I mean...man, this is embarrassing," he grumbled.
"Ah, now who's acting all shy?"
"Shut it," he snapped. "I think the first time kissed someone...lemme see...think maybe I was maybe around ten. Sensei came home one day and said he'd found this little girl, she'd been abandoned by her family so he let her stay at the school. After a while she said she liked me so she kissed me, no big deal but we couldn't look at each other for weeks we were so embarrassed and we hardly spoke to each other for ages after that, it was weird. Sensei laughed at me for months."
"Huh," she hummed.
"If we're talking...more than a kiss...that's a worse story," he said, thoughtfully.
"'Worse' how?"
"Well...that's the one I can't remember much of."
"Why?"
"We were both crazy drunk, okay? That night...we were so drunk we could barely see straight. It wasn't anything special. Never even knew her name. She probably didn't know mine either."
"Oi," she glared at him.
"It takes two, y'know. Besides, it was her idea, she was a lot older than I was. I was barely fifteen for crying out loud!"
"That makes it a LOT worse!"
"Oi, oi, war adds at least ten years to a person's age and we'd only just joined the war a few months before that. There's no amount of training that can prepare you for months of non stop fighting like that! Anyway...we found this little village under attack so we helped them out. Most of the villagers were dead by the time we got there. They'd just been slaughtered like animals, the place was a total bloodbath and by the time we were finished with the enemy it was about a dozen times worse. Maybe a few of the villagers were still alive after...but not many. We did what we could for them and I don't wanna use the old 'one thing led to another' cliché but it sorta did. This older woman found some booze, we got drunk, we...had our fun and we both left in the morning without a word about it and that was that. When you think you're gonna die at any moment, you learn to live for each second. I'm not condoning it. It was stupid. But we were both as bad as each other, me and her. I was just a stupid kid fighting in a war I should never have even been in and she was just a woman who was stuck in the middle of it all but she had no say in it. She probably lost everything that day. But...even if I don't remember it all, even if we never knew each other's names...we knew we were alive for that moment. That's what mattered. That's just how you think when you're stuck in a war."
"We're not at war now," she replied after a moment.
"Heh," he scoffed, "Feels like I'm constantly at war with someone or other."
"Sure, you're at war with your stupidity," Tsukuyo replied.
"Oi, that's cruel, tayuu. A man tells you a war story, you're supposed to be kind."
"What kind of war story was that?!"
"The kind with a 'happy ending'...even if I am still kinda hazy on the details," he said in a dry voice.
"Urgh," she shook her head.
"What? You asked," he defended. "And don't ever tell Shinpachi and Kagura...or Seita. If they ask, no one ever kisses anyone or has sex with anyone until they're twenty one...no...thirty...no...forty...ah, hell, never. It never happens, got it? Ah...oops...I bought Shinpachi some racy magazines the other week...maybe he won't notice if I sneak them back. Ah, who am I kidding, of course he'll notice; he's a teenage boy. He'll be guarding those things like they're more valuable than gold. I knew it was a mistake..."
"Why are ya giving a teenager dirty magazines?"
"Oi, you're one to talk. You let Seita work in a 'toy' store and he's younger than Shinpachi. Aren't you meant to be like one of his moms'? What kind of mom lets her kid work in one of those places at his age?"
"Don't be stupid. I'm his older sister. I'm Tsukuyo-nee-san, idiot."
"That doesn't make it any better!"
"It means I'm allowed to be less responsible than his actual mother," she declared and he sighed.
"Fine, fine, do whatever you want, nee-san," he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I only bought Shinpachi those magazines because he kept looking for mine when he thought I wasn't watching and it was just getting ridiculous. Seriously, who'd think I'd hide porn in the kitchen? Stupid kid. He practically took the place apart one time and he said he was 'cleaning.' How stupid does he think I am? So I figured, if he wants some magazines that bad, I'd get him some. Just kids' stuff, y'know nothing too err...anyway, everyone's gotta learn sometime, don't they? And if I don't let him read those things at my place where he's not gonna make a fool of himself, then who else is gonna let him? His sister? She'd probably kill him if she found him hiding them at the dojo. At least if anyone finds them at my place I can just say they're mine and save him the embarrassment."
"That's a more likely story than him reading those things," she said, dismissively.
"Oi...are you insulting me or Shinpachi?" he demanded.
"You...mostly," Tsukuyo shrugged.
"Che," he scoffed. "He's still human like every other man out there even if his personality is stuck in his glasses...all men do it," he said. "Women too," he added smugly and watched her blush a little bit again. "Except maybe for his sister. She's not human, she doesn't count. That woman was raised by monster gorillas, y'know?What do gorillas know about any of that? Well, I guess they must know something...gorillas haven't died out yet after all. But women aren't gorillas...except for his sister," he said, thoughtfully and then shook his head. "But, anyway, monster gorilla, cabaret girls aren't a role model for a young samurai when it comes to women."
"Oh, and ya are?"
"When did I ever say that? But at least if he knows more than I did when I was his age, he won't go and do something stupid like get crazy drunk and not even remember it. Well, he's already a bit older than I was and he's not done anything stupid yet, so he's doing better than I did. I keep waiting for him to just turn up one day with the stupid guy look on his face, y'know, the 'I just got laid for the first time face and my brain isn't working properly yet,' look. I've got a camera all ready and waiting in my desk for it. I've got a space picked out on the wall where I'm gonna hang it, too."
"And ya call me cruel," she remarked and he chuckled quietly.
"I'm no kind of role model for anyone, I know that. But anything's better than nothing, isn't it? I didn't have anyone to tell me that stuff by the time I was old enough 'cause I was in the middle of a war. Shinpachi's a good kid and he deserves better than that but I guess he drew the short straw in life and got landed with me. Poor kid. All I had was my sensei and he died before he told me anything like that, y'know and it kinda slips your mind when you're spending all your time on the battlefield. Ah, what a pain. I could've done *** or ***** or she could've ******* and I wouldn't have a clue! Hell, for all I know she ******* and I ****! Ah, this is a pain, why did I even start this pain in the a** conversation. Ah...what a pain," he flopped down onto the floor limply, and threw his arm over his eyes, "It's all such a pain."
Still listening from behind the shoji doors, Kagura turned to a bright red, blushing Shinpachi. "Oi," she muttered. "Gin-chan bought you porn but he won't buy me a hundred packets of pickled seaweed...no fair, nuh-uh," she complained.
"B...b...b...I..."
"Favouritism! No fair. I'm supposed to be the favourite. I'm the youngest."
"W...w...we're not his kids, Kagura-chan," he managed to reply.
"Speak for yourself, Patsuan. Gin-chan's my earth papi," she declared, proudly.
"Mah, how lovely," Hinowa smiled at her, kindly.
"And if he's teaching you to be a worthless man like him, then he's your papi, too, uh huh," Kagura added, looking at Shinpachi.
"...Erm..." Shinpachi blushed a shade of red that rivalled some of Tsukuyo's furious blushes.
"Then Gin-san can be my papi, too," Seita said.
"You're both gonna grow up to be worthless men like Gin-chan, yahooooo," Kagura said, oddly proud.
"Yahoo," Seita echoed, just as happily.
"But I'm still the favourite," Kagura insisted.
"...Such a pain," Gintoki continued, his voice muffled by the sleeve of his yukata.
"That is pretty embarrassin'," Tsukuyo remarked, "Bein' so drunk you can't even remember it, I mean."
"Isn't it?" he mumbled, "Can't get much worse than that, can it?"
"Probably not," she agreed. "Was goin' fine...before ya stopped, I mean. Why'd ya stop?"
"Figured you were gonna kill me for touching you," he shrugged. "That was a little more than just a kiss and you froze like statue. What's the fun in kissing a statue?" he answered.
"Y...ya just surprised me, is all," she said, defensively.
"Then do me favour," he said.
"What?"
"Fix your kimono," he clarified, waving his hand at her.
"My...huh?" Tsukuyo blinked and looked down at her dress. That's when she finally noticed that all that was holding up her beautiful kimono was her obi sash because both shoulders of her dress had fallen down giving him a glimpse of her ample cleavage. "Eehhhh?" she exclaimed.
"It's distracting," he grumbled, "I'm pretty sure someone somewhere's laughing at me...and I've got a feeling they're pretty close by," he added quietly but she was too busy blushing to notice.
"W...w...what'd ya mean...d...distracting?"
"I mean, I'm only human," Gintoki said, "I won't do it again...just..."
"Why?" she blurted out.
"Why whaaaaat?" he whined.
"Why'd ya say y'won't do it again?"
"You just said I surprised you!" he exclaimed, frustrated.
"I didn't mean a bad surprise!" she yelled back.
"Oi, I need some kind of translator here," Gintoki grumbled.
"I'm not speakin' another language!"
"Might as well be. If a woman tries to take off a guy's clothes it usually a good sign," he said, "They don't usually ask for a kiss then turn into statues and send out such crazy, mixed messages."
"I wasn't try'na..."
"So my shirt just ended up like this all by itself, huh?" he said, pointing at his opened shirt.
"Fine, I...I was, okay?!" she stammered and crossed her arms.
"Wait...you admitted it?! You actually just said that?! Seriously?!" Gintoki exclaimed, sitting up.
"Why'd ya sound shocked?! Ya just said..."
"Yeah, but I didn't expect you to actually say it!"
"Well...I did...and I ain't apologisin' either," she said, in an odd mix of confidence and embarrassment. "I...I know I said I wanted a kiss...but maybe I wanted more...So, I ain't gonna promise not to do it again," she added.
"Ahhhaaa! So that's what's this is. You lured me in with free food and a date and now you're just using me shamelessly like some two bit gigolo. What makes you think I'm that easy...well, okay maybe I am. But I'm not just a piece of meat, y'know!" he said, smirking.
"You...I..." she blushed a deep red in embarrassment. Then she growled and grabbed a kunai in each hand from the floor. "BAKA!" she yelled at him, so loudly that even the Hyakka guarding the building outside could hear her. She threw one of the kunai at him but he caught it between his fingers with practised ease and smiled at her, proudly.
"That's better," he said.
"Huh?" Tsukuyo furrowed her brow, confused at his comment and his smile.
"You're acting like some timid little kid on his first date with all his friends watching and his mom filming it all," Gintoki declared. "Well, maybe that isn't too far off the mark, but anyway, being shy doesn't suit you. You're not a demure woman. You're the shinigami tayuu, damn it. You've got nothing to be shy about," he said, handing the kunai back to her.
"But..." she mumbled, after snatching the weapon back from him and turning away.
"Okay, fine so you're embarrassed, big deal. Everyone is, but you get over it. I don't know why you're making such a big fuss about it anyway. It's not like there's a rule that means you have to do anything with anyone if you don't want to, even if we are in Yoshiwara and even if you did mean this as a date. I might be a jerk, but I'm not that kind of a jerk."
"I...I know that."
"This was your idea wasn't it? Look, did Hinowa put you up to this? Was it her idea for you to take me out today? Your friend's a matchmaker, y'know? Be careful, matchmaker's are more dangerous than Kagura if you steal her pickled seaweed and that kid's lethal."
"I already told ya, it was my idea!" she said, but he continued as though she hadn't spoken at all.
"And I know I'm flat out broke but seriously, even I have my limits. Sometimes I wonder just what kind of man you people take me for," he grumbled. "I don't need to be thanked for anything like that. If that's all I wanted, I could've slept my way across Yoshiwara half a dozen times by now. It's not like the women don't offer every time I come here, y'know. At least they know better than to try when Shinpachi and Kagura are around. A bunch of them ambushed me last time I was here and I didn't kiss a single one of them. We had a nice night, we were drinking and just talking. They told me about their families and everything. One of their nephews wants to be a lawyer...what kinda crazy kid wants to be a lawyer? Anyway, then they all beat the hell outta me at Daifugo and Karuta! I swear they were cheating! They're card sharks, I tell ya. Okay, so maybe I do drink all the free booze they offer me whenever they ambush me but that's about it...and I never really pay the pachinko bill when I lose here, but I do that back home too. At least no one chases me for the money here."
"Y'should know better than to play card games with Yoshiwara women. We're well trained to never lose," she said after a moment.
"Well, I know that now," he grumbled and ran a hand through his hair. "Oi, what'd you do to my hair?" he said, noticing that it seemed to be messier than usual as he tried to smooth down the unruly silver waves and curls.
"Err...sorry," she mumbled.
"Talk about attacking a guy. First my shirt then my hair. What's next?" he grumbled.
"I didn't hear ya complainin'!"
"'Course not. There was a beautiful woman kissing me, why would I complain? And my hair's always a mess, so I guess it doesn't really matter."
"Then I take it back, I'm not sorry," she retorted.
"You gonna promise not to do it again?" he mocked.
"Nope."
"Pretty blunt all of a sudden, aren't you?" Gintoki mumbled. "Well, that's probably best. Most men appreciate blunt honesty when it comes to this stuff. You should probably write that down. It's very important."
"W...w...I..." Tsukuyo stammered.
"Any guy would be a lot happier if you just jumped his bones then and there, without confusing him if that's what you wanted y'know. It's a fact of life," he said, waving his hand dismissively.
"Oi...d'ya have t'be so..."
"Why aren't you writing that down?" he grumbled.
"Why would I write that down?"
"Because it's important, aren't you listening?"
"I'm not writing anything like that anywhere."
"Then how're you gonna remember it?"
"Why would I wanna remember it?"
"Because it's important. Argh, we're going round and round and round in circles here. It's making me dizzy," he said, holding his hand to the side of his head as he rolled it from side to side dramatically.
"Dizzy, huh?" she tilted her head.
After a moment, she moved over to him elegantly with gentle swishing sounds from her kimono, she sat on his lap and they were both swathed in the luxurious layers of her clothes. "Then you should probably lie down," Tsukuyo said. She put a hand on his chest and gently pushed against him.
"Probably," he said, staring at her. He leaned back a little but stayed propped up on his elbows as she leaned over him. "Not gonna play nurse now, are you?" he asked.
"In ya dreams," she scoffed.
"That'd be a really, really good dream," he mumbled, thoughtfully.
"Ain't gonna happen," Tsukuyo insisted.
"No, guess not. You'd probably be a lousy nurse even if you wore the little outfit. I bet your bedside manner's horrible," he said. He reached up to cup her cheek with the palm of his hand and she leaned her face closer to it, tenderly.
"Well, ya'd be a lousy patient. All the nurses, me included, would probably just kill ya," she retorted, her voice kind despite the comment.
"Aaaand there goes my nice dream," Gintoki lamented.
"Too bad," she said without sympathy. She wasn't quite sure which one of them exactly kissed the other this time, maybe they both instigated it. His arms wound tightly around her and pulled her against him as he lay back, pulling her down with him.
As a reflex, her right hand reached out to break her fall and landed beside his head and she suddenly felt oddly powerful looking down at him. She usually felt like she was looking up at him, literally and metaphorically as he was both slightly taller than her and admittedly stronger than her. But she was the one straddling him and causing him to make quiet, breathy moans as she touched him. She found that if she dragged her hand over his nipple, then he'd whine at her and she found that she liked hearing it.
Forced to pull away from his lips for breath, Tsukuyo started a trail of kisses to his jaw and then his neck like he'd done before and when she reached his chest she suddenly found herself flipped effortlessly onto her back, looking up at him. Their legs ended up becoming tangled in her kimono and she was surprised to feel his hand against the bare skin on her right leg. She blushed and looked to see that because her kimono was so caught between then, her right leg had escaped from the layers of her dress and was being pulled up to his waist by his hand on her thigh.
It was an odd sensation to have someone touch her when she'd never been touched before and while part of her felt like she should be stunned, she reacted instinctively. She hooked her leg around him tightly and smiled back when he grinned at her.
At the same time, Hinowa slid the door closed with a smile and turned to her son and their friends. "Well, let's leave them to it. Shall we go home?" she said, happily.
"Shinpachi's dead, uh huh," Kagura said, perfectly calmly as she nudged at him with her foot. The young samurai was lying on the floor, his nose bloody and he was unresponsive.
"He's fine," Hinowa replied, "Just a little shocked, is all."
"Oh? Then all he needs is an even bigger shock, right?"
"I don't think that'll help him," Seita said and gently patted his friend's face trying to wake him up. "Shinpachi-san...wake up..." he whispered.
"..T...they were...t...they were..." Shinpachi mumbled again.
"Mah, mah," Hinowa said, "It was all innocent enough."
"Ehhhhhh...Innocent?! B...but t...they w...were...they're still..." he pointed at the door, needlessly from where they could still hear faint moans.
"Up you get, come on," she took his hands and began to encourage him to his feet as much as she could from her wheelchair. "Let's go home. I think we've earned a late night victory dinner, don't you?" she asked them.
Kagura punched the air, grinning happily. "Yahooooo," she exclaimed, "Plan 'Big Date Night' worked great and now they're gonna **** and **** and ****. Yahooooo, uh-huh!"
"KAGURA-CHAN!" Shinpachi yelled and covered her grinning mouth with his hand.
"Ka'a-chan," Seita said, eagerly. "Can I start calling Gin-san, nii-san now?" he asked.
"Well, we'll see...I hope so," she answered, thoughtfully.
"You're all crazy!" Shinpachi shook his head, "Crazy!"
Kagura swatted away Shinpachi's hand from over her mouth and turned to Hinowa, "We'll go eat in victory, boss! The best victory food is yakiniku, uh-huh!" she said.
"No way, it's red bean rice!" Seita declared.
"Yakiniku!" she argued.
"Red bean rice!"
"We can have both," Hinowa said, placatingly and they both cheered happily. "It was a double victory after all. Their date night is a perfect success and we got what we came for; a picture of their cute kiss," she said, holding up her camera triumphantly. "Mission complete," she added. She then pulled a piece of paper, seemingly from no where and stuck it onto the shoji door. In her neat calligraphy it read 'Please do not disturb,' and she'd drawn a cute pink heart on it as well.
"Erm...where'd you get that?" Shinpachi blanched at the note and at the woman's ever serene expression.
"Woohoo, we win!" Kagura giggled and Seita happily began to push Hinowa's wheelchair down the hallway.
"How'd I ever get roped into this?" Shinpachi mumbled as they left, "And how am I ever gonna unsee all that? I'm scarred for life now y'know."
"When a boy sees his useless parental figure having s** then they can start to climb the escalator to adulthood, uh huh," Kagura said, sagely.
"EHHHHH?!" he yelled.