A/N: I am equally, or more, shocked than you that I updated this just fyi. Y'all left me reviews recently tho (last w/I the last week) and it really pushed me to work on it! Plus it helped that I opened the word doc and realized I was only like 5 pages from being done in the first place lol. Okie dokie leave me reviews pls I'm desperate for the serotonin.
Episode #10:
Haunted
"You may move on and continue with the present scenario of your life. You would never be able to get rid of the ghost of your past." –H.S.
Everything was black. I stood in the center of a void and every few seconds a flash of red would fill my vision. With each lighting flash of blood red came faces filled with terror. They were unfamiliar to me, but something about their pain was recognizable. With each flash, I had to watch these strangers be ripped to pieces not by walkers but by freakish, horrific creatures. Another lightning flash and all I saw was sharp teeth, jagged claws, and torn flesh as blood started to pool around my ankles.
My breaths were coming quick and I felt lightheaded as the blood around my ankles began to rise. It swirled around my knees in a warm, thick mess. Nausea rose in my throat at the sickly, metallic tang hanging in the air and soon it was at my chest. A sudden bright light shone down on me and I glanced up to see a square, open hatch above me.
A beacon of hope.
I reached up desperately, my fingers only inches away from escape. Faces suddenly appeared. Daryl, Rick, Glen, Maggie, and Shane leaned over the edge looking down at me. Each of them were yelling at me, but no sound came from their mouths. I lifted my head up to try and keep the pooling blood from covering my face.
"Help—" I cried, my tears streaming down my face. Daryl suddenly reached down into the darkness to try and grab me. Desperately, I reached up and grabbed his arm, but before he could pull me up a cold hand wrapped tightly around my ankle and dragged me down into the depths. Daryl's hand slipped from mine.
The moment my head was under the blood though, it turned to water. I opened my eyes and realized I was floating in a dark ocean. Quickly I spun around, my hair floating around my head, as I searched for the surface. My lungs ached for air, but all I could see was more water wherever I turned. The hand clasped around my ankle again, dragging me deeper, and I screamed without sound leaving a trail of bubbles.
'Of course, you should be afraid of the dark. You know what's out there.'
The voice was muffled. Stars danced in my vision. My lungs were screaming for air.
'You know what's hiding, and you know it wants you dead.'
My feet touched the sandy ocean floor and I slowly drifted through the water until I landed on my knees. This was it. I was out of air. I couldn't hold my breath any longer. A hand tangled in my hair, gripped it tightly, and then snapped my head back so I was looking up. My eyes landed on Andrea. She was the one with her fingers twisted in my hair painfully. She was out of place though. Her hair and clothes remained still around her. It was like she wasn't even underwater like I was.
"It's still winning." She said, her voice as clear as a bell.
I sucked in a sharp breath and dark, icy water rushed into my lungs.
I sat up in bed gasping for air again. There was a cold sweat that coated my body from head to toe. My hair was pasted against the back of my neck and face. Frantically, I sucked in deep breaths trying to reassure myself that I wasn't drowning.
The sun was barely peeking over the horizon and it cast strange looking shadows all over my temporary room. Suddenly, I feared those dark corners. If I stared too long those same flashes of red filled my vision again. The sound of faint screaming echoed in my head and I began to hyperventilate. I shut my eyes tightly trying to drown out the noise, but it only became worse as images matched the screaming.
A human face made up of rows of shark like teeth.
A pale creature with arms too long and with a breath that smelled of flesh and blood.
Solid black eyes and an eerie smile.
Glowing blue hands.
Goosebumps and flickering lights.
It was as if my mind was filled with a never-ending horror movie. Monsters rotated through the spotlight and it was the only thing I could even think of now. Creatures that made walkers look friendly. Warm tears dripped down my cheeks and I quickly jumped out of bed to find my jeans. I struggled to get them on.
I spotted the black figure standing in the corner and fell back with a small cry of panic. Once I found my bearing and looked back up though it was gone, but the void in my chest was still there. It was growing and left me feeling empty inside. Panicked, I scrambled up and sprinted out of the room as fast as my body would allow.
My entire body ached as I hurried out of the house and down off the porch. I didn't even realize I was barefoot until I was a good couple yards away from the house and closer to the camp where everyone was still sleeping. I glanced over my shoulder to look at the house.
"You can't run."
I turned back around and came face to face with a man. He opened his mouth and it took up more than half of his face. He had rows and rows of sharp teeth and a pointed tongue that whipped around. A muffled, strangled cry escaped me as I fell back. I covered my face with my arms in a pathetic attempt to protect myself.
"Hey, hey!"
Rough hands grabbed my arms and lightly shook me. They traveled down to my wrists, so I was forced to pull my hands away from my face.
"Don't hurt me!" I sobbed as the early morning light hit my eyes.
"What the hell is goin' on, sunshine?" Daryl demanded. My eyes focused on him. Rather than his usual crossbow he had a rifle wrapped around his shoulders. His eyebrows were furrowed in anger, but there was concern drawn in his blue gray eyes. I took in a steadying breath and focused only on the feel of his hands on my wrists. It grounded me. "Hey?"
"I'm—I'm sorry." I untangled myself from Daryl and stood back up. He rose as well, slower, and kept a skeptical glance on me. He didn't speak so I filled the silence again, "I didn't mean to—I'm sorry. I'm sorry I just—I had a bad dream. I'm sorry."
"Quit sayin' you're sorry." Daryl replied. He nodded once, "You ok now?"
I forced a smile, "I—I think so. Yeah. Sorr—um, I'm ok."
Daryl's eyes glanced over me and he scoffed, his eyes met mine again, "You're not even wearin' shoes. Again."
He lightly took my arm in his hand and tried to drag me back to the house. The moment I realized what he planned I dug my bare heels into the dirt and tried to pull away from him. He stopped and gave me a questioning look.
"No, no, no. I can't go back in."
"Why not?" His hand was still wrapped around my arm.
"Can I—Can I stay with you?" I didn't want to be alone right now. Having Daryl around made the void in my chest shrink. He had on the rifle, so I assumed he was probably on watch. Maybe that's why he came to get me. He had spotted me while sitting on top of the RV. "I can help you keep watch."
Daryl hesitated and I gave him another pleading look. He sighed, "Fine. Come on."
I grinned and breathed my thankfulness to him. He motioned for me to follow him and luckily the path we took was mostly soft grass. My messed-up foot had healed up a while ago, but it was nice not to walk on something sharp or irritating.
We reached the RV and Daryl began to climb up first. I followed after him and when I got about halfway up, he reached over the edge to offer me his hand. Suddenly, I wasn't climbing up the RV ladder anymore. Instead, I was in a pool of blood staring at Daryl's arm like it was my final hope. My hands slipped off the rungs and if it wasn't for Daryl quickly grabbing my arms, I would've hit the dirt hard.
Daryl pulled me up onto the top of the RV as I took in shaky breaths. He didn't ask questions or yell at me about being careless. He just stared with narrowed eyes as if he was trying to figure out this puzzle himself.
"Thanks." I forced a chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood, "So was it the scream or me running out of the house?"
Daryl was thrown off by the change of topic, "What?"
"You came and you got me." I motioned to the field where he had found me, "Did you see me run out of the house or just hear me yell?"
"Heard the house door slam shut and saw you." Daryl shrugged. He glanced over at the forest line.
I smiled at him, "Thanks. You snapped me back to my senses."
Daryl didn't reply but held my gaze. I cleared my throat and felt my eyelids get heavy. I was exhausted. Beyond exhausted. The nightmares made me feel like I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night. I wanted to go back to sleep right now, but I was too scared that the monsters would roam through my mind again.
"How's your back?"
I stood up. Maybe if I was standing, I wouldn't pass out, "It's good. Hershel said I could get the stitches out early." He raised his eyebrow at me, and I motioned for him to look. I turned around and lifted my t-shirt up so he could see my lower back. Daryl stepped closer to me to examine it. I nodded, "Doesn't really hurt much either. I'm less sore today than I was yesterday even. It's odd…"
"At least it's healin'." Daryl murmured quietly. I felt his rough finger brush against the area by the stitches lightly and it startled me. I spun back around, and the quick motion nearly sent me sprawling over the edge of the RV. Daryl grabbed me and pulled me back, "Sunshine, can you stop tryin' to fall off the Goddamn RV?"
He grabbed my arm and led me across the RV roof to Dale's camping chair. Daryl set me down into the seat and pointed with his hand for me to stay put. I smiled at him sheepishly, "My bad."
"You need more sleep. I can see the bags under your eyes from 'ere."
"Nah, I'm good!" I tried to convince him. "Not tired at all."
Daryl scoffed and motioned down to a purple and yellow tent not too far off, "That's your tent there. Just go get some sleep before you pass the hell out."
He offered me his hand so he could help me down, but I shook my head and sank down into the camping chair, "No, no, I can just take a quick nap right here. Please?"
Daryl glanced away with a shake of his head, "Like I give a damn. Just don't fall off. I'll never hear the end of it from Rick."
I planned on replying, but my eyes started to close without my permission. Soon I drifted off again and prayed it'd be a dreamless sleep.
Only seconds after she closed her eyes did he hear her steady, slow breaths. Victoria was knocked out, her head leaning against the back of the chair with her light brown hair a mess around her. Daryl's eyes glanced over her, from the dark bags under her eyes down to her bare feet. Daryl sat down near the chair, just in case she decided to roll out of it and watched her for another moment longer.
Watching her sprint out of the house like something was chasing her was worrisome, but then talking to her afterward only worried him more. It must have been some bad dream to have her shaken up so badly. Despite, her obvious exhaustion at least she was still healing well. More than well, actually. An injury like that, with the subpar conditions of her surgery, should've been worse off he assumed. Either Hershel was seriously a miracle worker or something else was in play here. Victoria was doing better than good though and that was enough for him. You ain't supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth.
If she could just get through this nightmare phase she'd be set. Daryl wondered if her getting shot was part of the reason why she was having so many bad dreams. A few moments passed and he had his gaze on the forest line when someone called out to him.
"Daryl."
He stood up, giving Victoria another glance to check on her, before walking toward the edge. Rick was standing by the ladder looking up at him. He took a step back so his head wouldn't be so tilted, and Daryl watched as Rick's gaze landed on her.
"Why is she sleeping out here?"
"Had a nightmare. Ran outta the house freakin' out." Daryl replied, "Begged me to let her stay up here."
"Is she ok?"
Daryl nodded, "Her back's ok." He hesitated, "She needs more rest. Probably shouldn't be doin' anytin' stressful for a while longer."
Rick nodded in agreement. He motioned to her and Daryl turned to see a distressed look had grown on her sleeping face. Daryl walked over and knelt down in front of Victoria. She squirmed and her breath quickened.
"Hey. Sunshine, wake up." Daryl set his hand on her leg and lightly tried to shake her awake.
Suddenly, Victoria's eyes snapped open and it startled him. It wasn't the sudden alertness that put him on edge. It was the look of absolute terror on her face and the glazed over look in her usual bright blue eyes. Victoria's gaze darted around in a panic before landing on him.
"You alright?" He asked softly, still surprised.
"Victoria?" Rick had climbed up the RV ladder.
"I'm ok." She replied in a shaky voice. "I'm ok."
Daryl didn't believe her answer, and it looked like Victoria was trying to convince herself of her status each time she said it. He gave her a skeptical glance before looking back at Rick who shared a concerned look with him. Daryl didn't know what was going on, but it wasn't anything good.
Victoria looked haunted.
Two more uneventful days passed, and no further progress was made in the search for Sophia. It was as if the little girl had just up and vanished. Nobody found any tracks or clues, but that was as good as it was bad news. Yes, Sophia was still missing which was awful, but nobody was finding any corpses or walkers which was equally as good.
Hell, it was like this entire area had been blessed. This was the longest I had gone since waking up on the side of the road without seeing a walker. Here in our quiet, makeshift camp it was peaceful and safe. Almost peaceful and safe, at least. I couldn't bring myself to fully enjoy the blessing because everywhere I looked, I was plagued with horrific creatures. Shit that made walkers look harmless. Ever since I woke up on top of the RV with Daryl, it's like I had been haunted by monsters.
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I had no focus or energy. Every time I dozed off, I'd find myself in another nightmare. Then when I'd finally untangle myself from the nightmare, I'd find myself more tired than I had started off.
I knew the others around me were worried. I could see it in their eyes and the way they cautiously watched me wander around camp, but I constantly reassured them that everything was ok. All things considered, they really were. So I was tired and plagued with nightmares? At least I was alive. Plus, the wound on my back looked good. Hershel had removed the stitches and I only ached with certain movements now. It was a damned miracle. I had no room to complain.
"Tori?"
My head snapped to the side with a small gasp as T-Dog called out to me. He was a step behind me to my left. How had he snuck up on me so well? Or had he been there long without me noticing? I forced a smile, "What's up, T?"
He just stared at me in concern for a moment. Castiel walked up to stand by his side, both of them just looking me over as if I was going to suddenly fall over. I cleared my throat and T-Dog finally spoke up, "How you feelin'?"
"Peachy." I shrugged quickly. "My back is doing great. Barely even feel it."
"Not really what I was asking about, but I'm glad." T-Dog hummed. Castiel was still staring at me with a gaze that was settled somewhere between confused and worried. T-Dog reached out to squeeze my shoulder once before drifting away.
"Will you stop looking at me like that, Cas?" I snapped and crossed my arms tight over my chest, "I'm fine."
Castiel shook his head, taking a step closer, "You don't look fine. I'm concerned for your health. You've been out of it for a couple days, you have dark circles under your eyes… you look ill, Tori."
"The apocalypse is happening, Cas. Sorry I couldn't keep up my beauty routine." I scoffed and tried not to look him directly in his puppy dog like eyes, "I gotta help with chores."
Before I could get far, he reached out and lightly grabbed my arm to keep me from leaving. As soon as his skin touched mine he let out a hiss of pain and yanked his hand back like he had been burned. I spun around in worry with wide eyes. His other hand clutched his wrist as he clenched his teeth in pain. His entire palm was black, but we both watched as the dark color faded away. There was no mark on him. No pink skin indicative of a burn. Castiel's eyes drifted up from his hand to meet mine and we both just stared at each other in fear.
"What the hell was that?" I hissed as quietly as I could.
"I—I don't know." Castiel breathed. He reached forward again to lightly trace his fingers against my arm, but again the moment his skin touched mine he had to yank his hand back with a muffled yelp. His fingertips were black again, but it faded just as quickly as it had before.
What the fuck?
As we tried to puzzle this out, silently between us, a grabbed my arm and I flinched, "Hey Tori, I—"
"Don't touch me!" I yelled and jumped away from a wide-eyed Glenn. He threw his hands up in apology with a look that sat right between worry and shock.
Glenn cleared his throat, "Oh, I—er, I'm sorry. Sorry."
"Is your hand ok?" I asked in confusion.
"Um, yes?" Glenn looked down at his hand then back to me as if I was losing it. The fact that his hand was completely normal and fine made me feel like I actually was though. I glanced back at Castiel who looked equally as lost and it gave me comfort. I wasn't crazy. Or if I was, at least I wasn't alone. "Hey, Tori, are… are you ok?"
My head whipped back to Glenn and my vision blurred at the quick movement. I blinked away the dizziness and nodded once, "I'm fine, Glenn. Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that."
"Uh huh." Glenn replied, but his features didn't shift at all, "Well, I just came over to see if you guys have seen Maggie."
"No. No we haven't." I answered. Glenn nodded in thanks and hesitated in front of us like he wanted to say something more. His eyes flickered to Castiel once before settling back on me. He cleared his throat, gave his thanks, and then quickly left. I was grateful he left it at that. Arguing about my welfare wasn't at the top of the list of things I wanted to do today.
"This is familiar."
Castiel was staring at me in concentration, straining himself to try and remember, but based off the look of frustration he wore nothing was coming to him. I shook my head, "Familiar how? I don't recognize this or—or remember anything like it."
"I can't explain it. It—It's like I should know it. It feels like I should be able to work out the answer, but nothing comes to me when I think on it." Castiel let out a huff of annoyance, "This is incredibly frustrating."
I was too tired to voice my opinion, to tell him how weird and awful all this was and to agree that nothing was more frustrating to have something just barely out of reach, but my brain was too fuzzy to try and put it into a coherent sentence. I just nodded.
Castiel reached forward again and I jumped back just in time for his fingers to miss me, "Don't!"
"Tori—"
"Cas, no." I said firmly. "It hurts you. It hurts to—just… just keep your distance for now. I don't wanna hurt you." Castiel looked like he wanted to argue, but I wasn't in the mood for that. I started to walk away, "Just keep this between us. I gotta go—go help Carol."
As I stalked toward the table where Carol was hanging wet clothes on the line, I could feel Castiel's gaze burning into my back. Rather than acknowledge him again though I focused the attention I had to Carol.
"Hey Carol." I greeted, "Need some help?"
"I think I'm good here. Why don't you go rest? I can handle this." Carol gave me a soft smile and the concern in her eyes couldn't be ignored. Did I look that bad?
"Nonsense." I argued and grabbed a shirt, "I'm fine. Really. Totally fine."
A part of me prayed that the more I said that phrase the more true it would be. A self-fulfilling prophecy, of sorts. Because the truth of it was, I was not fine. I knew that for sure now. If the nightmare and sleepless nights hadn't been clue enough, Castiel burning his hands on my skin sure as hell was.
Carol didn't argue with me as I hung clothes beside her. I was only a few articles in when I started to feel lightheaded. I blinked rapidly, desperate to try and gather my bearings. When the world started to tilt, I forced myself to sit down at the table. I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep, steadying breath.
"Tori?" Carol hurried over to me. I could feel her hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see her crouched slightly in front of me, "Tori? What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I said. "It's ok."
"I'm going to get Rick."
"No!" I blurted and grabbed her wrist before she could leave. She gave me a pleading look and I shook my head, "Seriously, Carol. I'm fine. Just let me catch my breath."
Carol twisted her lips in disagreement but returned to hanging the clothes. The last thing I needed was Rick breathing down my neck with worry. I had already seen the skeptical glances the last few days. This would just be gasoline on an ember.
With my eyes closed, I just listened to Carol work. The sound of footsteps approached, but I didn't bother opening my eyes. My curiosity was settled quickly enough when Lori's voice broke the silence, "I can't believe I slept in."
"You must have needed it. Feeling alright?" Carol replied.
I forced my eyes open just in time to catch Lori's curious gaze, but she tore her eyes away quickly. Lori grabbed some clothes from the basket in front of me to help and I watched her hang a pair of pants, "Next time, wake me, alright? Especially on laundry day."
"I can manage." Carol hummed. "Besides, Tori stopped and helped too." The frail woman gave me a kind smile that I tried my best to return. Help was a stretch. I hung like three things before nearly passing out. "I had an idea I wanted to run by you."
Lori nodded, "What's that?"
"That big kitchen of theirs got me thinking… I wouldn't mind cooking in a real kitchen again. Maybe we all pitch in and cook dinner for Hershel and his family tonight?" Carol stopped working and wrung a shirt in her hands nervously as she spoke. I weighed the idea in my mind and found no flaw. Showing our thankfulness would be a good idea. Especially since we were still trying to convince Hershel to let us stay here permanently. Carol's voice spoke up again, "Kind of looking for things to keep my mind occupied."
I frowned at her words. It was a reminder that we still had nothing to show for our search. Lori cleared her throat, "After everything they've done for us, seems like the least we could do."
"You mind extending the invitation? Would feel more right coming from you."
"How so?" Lori asked and I wondered the same thing.
If Carol offered it would just sound like a mother thankful for hospitality while she looked for her lost daughter. If I offered it'd sound like a thank you for literally saving my life. Lori on the other hand, though obviously thankful for being here, didn't really have much direct connection to Hershel.
"You're Rick's wife. It sorta makes you our unofficial First Lady." Carol smiled and grabbed more clothes from the basket.
Lori looked taken aback by the statement and I held back a snort. Some First Lady she was. Cheating on the president with the president's best friend and partner. More cruel words flashed through my mind and it left a bitter taste in my mouth. Sure, Lori and I weren't anywhere near making best friends forever bracelets for each other and I loathed her decision-making skills, but that didn't mean I wanted to sit here and think all these awful thoughts about her.
It felt like poison and I wasn't quite sure where it came from.
I rose from my seat, ignoring the wary look that both women gave me, and abruptly left without a nod or goodbye. It'd take too much effort.
About twenty minutes later, I made my way to Hershel's truck where a group had formed around a map on the hood. It was the daily planning session for finding Sophia and today was the first day Hershel had okayed for me to go along and help.
Rick stood at the very front of the hood, right in front of the map. On his right side, following the edge of the truck, was Castiel, Andrea, and T-Dog. On his left was Daryl and Shane. Castiel caught my gaze briefly and I watched his features wilt when I deliberately chose to stand between Shane and Daryl rather than beside him.
"Morning, guys. Let's get going, we've got a lot of ground to cover." Rick called out. His gaze traveled around the group but lingered on me for a moment. He was analyzing me, and I tried my best to look awake and alert under his stare. "Alright, everyone is getting new search grids today. If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found she might have been further East than we've been so far."
Everyone watched as Rick motioned to areas on the map. A new voice spoke up from behind me, "I'd like to help." I glanced over my shoulder to see the young boy named Jimmy. He was 17, at the most, and dating Hershel's youngest daughter Beth. He had short dirty blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a lanky build. He seemed like an alright kid. "I know the area pretty well."
"Hershel is ok with this?" Rick questioned.
"Yeah, yeah!" Jimmy nodded and squeezed his way into the group. He stood between Daryl and Rick. I peddled backward to try and make room and stumbled slightly over my feet. I had to set my hands on the hood to catch myself, but it didn't look like anyone really noticed. I turned my head to see Shane skeptically staring at me and wilted. Ok, maybe someone did notice. Jimmy spoke up again, "Hershel said I should ask you."
"Alright then. Thanks." Rick gave him a grateful smile.
"Nothing about what Daryl found scream Sophia to me." Shane brought the conversation back to focus. Daryl had found a small little farmhouse out in the woods the other day from what I heard, but Sophia hadn't been there when he found it. "Anyone could've been holed up in that farmhouse."
"Anybody includes her. Right?" Andrea argued plainly.
"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high." Daryl held his hand up to the middle of his torso, around the height of Sophia. He had on a dark brown button up over his white wife beater. Actually, this might be the first time I've ever seen him wear sleeves. "It's a good lead."
Rick nodded, "Maybe we'll pick up her trail again."
"No maybe 'bout it." Daryl said. Dale came over to the group with the duffel bag full of guns. "I'm gonna borrow a horse, head to this ridge right 'ere, take a bird's eye view of the whole grid. If she's up there, I'll spot 'er."
"Good idea." T-Dog said then grinned, "Maybe you'll see your Chupacabra up there too."
"Chupacabra?" Rick asked curiously. Amusement dripped off his features.
Dale chuckled, "You've never heard this? Our first night in camp Daryl tells us that this whole thing reminds him of a time he went hunting and he saw a Chupacabra."
Even as I tired as I was, I couldn't help chuckle. Daryl was nodding matter of fact the entire time Dale told the story. No shame or embarrassment about it. Jimmy let out a scoff of disbelief and the redneck's eyes snapped to him in a glare, "What are you brayin' at, jackass?"
"So, you believe in a blood sucking dog?" Jimmy mocked with a tone of superiority.
"Do you believe dead people are walkin' around?" Daryl snapped back. Jimmy flushed in embarrassment and my smile widened.
Jimmy shook his head and reached across the hood for a gun. Rick stopped him with a frown, "Hey, hey. You ever fire one before?"
"Well, if I'm going out I want one." Jimmy replied back as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Daryl slung his crossbow over one shoulder and scoffed, "Yeah, an' people in hell want slurpees."
I snickered and Daryl's eyes snapped to me. He furrowed his eyebrows, glancing me over, then turned to leave. Shane cleared his throat, "Why don't you come train tomorrow? If you're serious, I'm a certified instructor."
Standing by the truck for this long had really begun to weigh me down. All my limbs felt heavy and I struggled not to lean on anything or fall over. Andrea motioned to Jimmy, "For now he can come with us."
"Alright, Cas and T-Dog, you're gonna…" Rick began to lay out the plan and divide the grids between groups. I tried to focus on his voice, but every other blink grew heavier and heavier. I was struggling to keep my eyes open. A low growl filled the air, it made Rick hard to understand, and the area grew dark like the sun had been eclipsed. Glowing red eyes appeared before me with a set of sharp, yellowed teeth beneath them. Brown fur, a full moon, hearts clawed out of a bleeding corpse. A howl tore through the air, making my blood freeze, and suddenly the glowing eyes lunged.
A startled cry left my lips as my eyes snapped open to daylight. I stumbled back, still trying to avoid something that wasn't even there, and if it weren't for Shane catching me at last minute, I would've hit the ground.
"Victoria?"
I struggled to catch my breath as all eyes were on me. It felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. I glanced around looking for a wolf, but of course there was none to be found. Shane's hands squeezed my arms lightly and I realized he was still holding me up. I shakily found my legs and only after he knew I was steady did he let go of me.
"I—Sorry. I'm ok." I nodded to the group and to Shane who still hovered by me as if I was going to fall over again.
"No, you're not." Rick said firmly. He shook his head, "You've been like this for days. You're not goin' on the search."
"Rick—"
"I know this is the first day Hershel has cleared you to come with us because of your back, but I'm not letting you step out there when you're like this." Rick's voice was stern.
"I told you I'm fine!" I argued back sharply, and he looked surprised to see me raise my voice at him. "I need to help find Sophia, I—"
"Tori." Castiel's voice made me glance over at him. He gave me a knowing look, "You should stay here."
I scoffed and glanced around the group, but the looks in their eyes told me this was not an argument I was about to win. Frustrated, I could feel angry tears start to collect in my eyes. Everything just felt so off balance and I hated it. I shrugged and turned to storm away, "Whatever."
"Victoria." Rick stepped away from the truck and went to grab my arm. Without hesitation, I yanked myself away so he couldn't touch me and continued to stalk away without a word. It wasn't until I got halfway across camp that guilt started to bubble up inside of me. I wasn't myself right now, but that was hardly a good excuse. Rick and I hadn't fought like that before and definitely not over something so stupid. I felt bad for acting so immaturely. I didn't know where it even came from. He was going to leave today for a search into a forest filled with various dangers and, God forbid something happen, my last words to him were said in anger.
I glanced back over my shoulder, but it looked like the group had dispersed already. A sigh slipped from my lips and I rubbed at my face. I was too tired to stay angry. I was too tired to be worried.
Hell, I was too tired to feel anything really.
As I tried to figure out what to do with myself, I spotted Daryl in the distance heading to Hershel's horse barn. Without thinking, I called out to him and began to hurry over. Daryl heard me and stopped so I could catch up to him. I tried to do so as quickly as I could, but it left me winded and panting.
He gave my pathetic form a glare, "What the hell?"
"Shut up. I'm just… a little…. tired." I said between breaths.
"What the hell is goin' on with you, sunshine? You look like warmed over death."
"Well thanks." I replied. "That's what all the girls wanna hear. I'm—"
Daryl stepped toward me, "Don't try to sell me that shit. You ain't fine. So, either tell me what the hell is goin' on or beat it. I ain't gonna stand here and listen to you lie."
"I'm sorry." I said softly. "Sorry, I just… I can't sleep, Daryl."
His glare lessened, "Nightmares? Like on the RV?"
"Yeah, but worse." I wrapped my arms around myself tightly. "When I wake up, I'm more tired than before. Every time I close my eyes, I see blood and—and monsters and I… It's terrifying. I've never felt so scared."
Daryl's hand reached forward but he stopped himself with a look of regret on his face. His hand just hung in the air for a moment before he stiffened and then continued forward with his action. I stood in shock as he used his thumb to hastily swipe away the tears that had leaked down my cheek. Just like when Castiel touched me, something happened when my skin met Daryl's but this time it wasn't bad.
It felt like warmth.
He had tried to pull his hand away quickly, but I reached up and grabbed it. I forced his hand to stay pressed on my cheek. Daryl's entire body was tense now as he stared at me in shock, but I could only focus on the warmth. I hadn't known I was cold. I hadn't realized that there was a gaping black hole in my chest leaving me frozen until I felt Daryl's warmth. Ironically, it reminded me of sunshine. It made me feel…better. I was still tired, bone exhausted, but the fear was gone.
"I have to go, sunshine." Daryl said warily. It was only then that I recognized the look of wild bewilderment on his features. Hell, I was surprised that he hadn't yanked his hand away. I mean, I was acting absolutely bonkers. I wondered if he could feel this too. It wasn't a romantic action, but it still felt intimate in some other way.
I let his hand go and it fell away. The warmth was gone, but I still felt settled. I gave him a smile, "Sorry. That was weird wasn't it?" I sucked in a sharp breath. "Are you going out alone again?"
"Always do." Daryl replied. Still wary.
I twisted my lips in distaste, "I really don't like it when you go out alone. It means you have no back up. What if you find trouble?"
Daryl readjusted the crossbow on his back, "Tell you what. Stop feelin' like shit and next time you can come with."
"Really?"
"As long as you take those gun lessons first. Rather have you back me up with a pistol 'stead of that dinky knife." He said it in a tone that suggested a joke, but he was still too tense for it to play off right.
"Promise?"
He gave a brief nod, "Yeah, yeah. Stay out of trouble, sunshine."
Without another word, he turned on his heel and continued on his way to Hershel's horses. As he got further and further away it felt like the black hole in my chest grew in size until it was bigger than it was originally. My body ached and my shoulders drooped under the weight of themselves. I turned to face camp again and tried to think of what to fill my day with. Lord knew sleeping wasn't an option.
Glenn sat in a light brown rocking chair on the wrap around porch of the Greene household. He had his legs kicked up onto the porch railing in front of him as he plucked at the strings of a guitar that had been found on the highway. Not that he played guitar at all. The stereotype held true and he had been held hostage for a year in piano lessons, but his mom had let him trade the instrument for comic books ages ago.
The screen door swung open with a screech and he dropped his feet to the floor as Maggie stepped out of the house in blue jeans and a blouse. Her eyes traveled over the land before landing on him. Glenn straightened his back under her gaze.
"Nice guitar." She waltzed over and leaned against the railing with her arms crossed.
He nodded, "Dale found it on the highway."
There was a pregnant pause filled with awkward tension. Maggie and Glenn both just stared at each other before Glenn finally snapped out of his trance. He set the guitar down and pushed himself up to stand, "You know, we uh—we still have 11 condoms."
Maggie raised an eyebrow at him with an amused chuckle, "You see 11 condoms, I see 11 minutes of my life I'm never gettin' back."
Glenn laughed awkwardly and shifted in place with a confused frown, "It wasn't that bad was it?"
"Look", Maggie sighed, "I don't even know if I like you."
Glenn had never been the kind of guy who would be considered have 'game' of any sort whatsoever back before the world ended. A sudden burst of courage hit him out of nowhere though and the nerves he felt, for the moment, vanished, "But you're thinking about it." A slow smile spread across his face as he nodded once, "You should."
Maggie stared at him unblinkingly for a minute before shaking her head and stalking off the porch leaving Glenn in the dust. He watched her go, rubbing the back of his neck, and wondering if it would've been better if he just kept his mouth shut.
I had spent nearly a half hour wandering around camp trying to find something to do, but of the people left behind not on the search nobody would let me help with chores. Either they already had them done or they would usher me toward the house suggesting a nap as my next item on the to-do list of today. Grumpily, I left camp to go to the main house, but it wasn't for a nap. Maybe Hershel or Patricia needed help with something.
Maggie was coming from the house and she passed me quickly with just a small smile as her greeting. I kept my forward momentum until it brought me to the front porch of the house where Glenn was sitting in a rocking chair wearing a pout on his face.
"Hey Tori." He greeted unenthusiastically.
I dropped down into the second rocking chair beside his, "Hey, I just saw Maggie if you're still looking for her. She went—"
"We had sex."
My eyes widened in shock and my jaw hung loose. Had he just said—? A part of me wondered if I heard him right or if this was just some sort of exhausted fear induced delusion. I cleared my throat, "Um. Can you say that again? I'm a little…slow today."
"Maggie and I had sex in the pharmacy, but now she says she doesn't even know if she likes me. I don't get it." Glenn threw his hands up in frustration.
"Is… Is there a question somewhere in there or…?"
"What am I supposed to do, Tori?" Glenn sighed and turned so he was facing me entirely, "What would you do if you were in my position?"
I chuckled, "I wouldn't get in your position for starters."
"Oh, come on!" He argued and then shrugged, "Let's say that you and Daryl—"
"Don't finish that sentence." I countered without missing a beat. I tried my best to level the most intimidating stare I could at him, but I doubted the power behind it. He sighed again. "Look, Glenn, it sounds like you had the apocalyptic equivalent to a one-night stand."
Glenn shook his head, "But I don't want it to be a one-night stand. I think I like her, and I know I wanna do it again."
"Have you told her any of this or just me?"
There was a beat of silence where he was stuck in his thoughts. It was gone quickly though, and he jumped up to rush away. As he passed, he squeezed my hand and offered a thanks. I couldn't help but chuckle as I watched him jog away from the house. I glanced over at the guitar he had left behind, and something stirred in me. It was the same feeling I got when that internal voice, Dean's voice I now knew, spoke. This time no words followed the thought. There was a faint whisper at the back of my mind, but nothing I could grasp. It was like Dean's voice had been muted.
This only worsened my already sour mood.
As I leaned back into the rocking chair my body screamed for sleep. Instead of giving in though, I forced my gaze to the blue sky and did everything I could to stay conscious.
Rick and Shane were about an hour into the woods now. There had been no sight of Sophia, or any clue of her, along their path, but there also hadn't been any walkers which was always a bonus. Rick was a few steps behind Shane holding a rifle in his arms while his partner nailed a red flag to a tree using the backside of a handheld axe.
Rick glanced around looking for more clues, but nothing stood out to him. Nothing had stood out to him this entire time out here and it was really starting to weigh him down. The fight he just had with Victoria did nothing to help this either. He was worried. Everyone was worried. Victoria drifted around camp like a ghost these days. Dark bags under her empty eyes. Her usual bright smile nowhere to be seen. She looked like an entirely different person. And the way she just snapped at the meeting? That wasn't like her at all. Rick couldn't even picture the cheerful woman raising her voice before this morning.
"What do you think is going on with Victoria?" Rick questioned out loud. Him and Shane went further down their marked path for today. Shane was usually very good at picking up signs from people. It's what made him a good partner to have. "Something is going on, but she won't talk to anyone about it." Rick sighed in irritation, his last words slipping out subconsciously, "Now she's pissed at me which helps nothing."
The comment was made under his breath, without much thought, but Shane couldn't let it go. It struck something in him. His steps slowed, but Rick pressed forward with him now only a step behind. Shane knew his partner and best friend very, very well. He also knew Rick had a soft spot for little Victoria. Now, he understood that it was nothing more than friendship. Rick was the one-woman kind of guy and there was no doubting his intentions. Despite Lori's fears of her husband's love trailing away, Shane knew that Rick would never look at Victoria in that light. Not when he had Lori.
Still, the world was a different place now.
Rick used to be that way, but maybe he was different now. Shane was different now after all. Before the world ended, he had never looked at Lori in any way other than friendship. In his mind, Lori was labeled as his best friend's wife and that was that. That couldn't be said today though. After everything they went through, after pulling Lori and Carl out of the hell that Atlanta had become, something had changed. He loved Lori. He wondered if a part of him always had or if this was just the new him, but he loved Lori and he loved Carl and he would do anything to protect them. He would do anything to protect the people in his group. He was responsible for them.
It was why he had no qualms with shooting the hunter that had shot Victoria.
Out there in the high school, he had a choice. Either he killed Otis and both him and Victoria would live or him and Otis would've died in the horde at the high school and Victoria would have died by association. Shane could still hear Otis crying out when Shane spun and shot him in the leg, he could still hear the larger man screaming as walkers ate him alive, but Shane couldn't quite bring himself to regret it.
He had saved Victoria.
He had saved himself.
And by doing that he would now be able to keep Lori and Carl safe and their group would still have the amnesiac doctor to help them.
"You remember that name of the waitress at Dairy Queen? When we were in high school?" Rick asked, breaking Shane's train of thought. Rick glanced over his shoulder with a smirk, "I know you, Shane, well enough to know that there is only one sure fire way of engaging you in conversation, and that is to start asking you about girls you did in high school. I don't want to, but I'm willing to do it if that's what it takes."
Shane chuckled. He wasn't wrong. This conversation could work out well for him too though. He nodded once, "Maryanne. I told you about her?"
"Oh, in excruciating detail."
"Excruciating, my ass." Shane scoffed in amusement, "You used to live for those details back in the day."
"Yeah, I was impressionable. And I may have been living vicariously through you."
"Why wouldn't you? With my impressive list of accomplishments? I was an artist in my prime. A protégé."
Rick chuckled, "You mean prodigy."
"Maybe." Shane shrugged, "Prodigy what you call a young high school stud that bangs 30-year-olds on the regular?"
Rick let out a loud laugh and Shane chuckled alongside him, "What 30-year-old were you banging in high school?"
"PE teacher."
"Mr. Daniels?" Rick raised an eyebrow at his friend.
Shane rolled his eyes, "Mrs. Kelly."
"The girls' volleyball coach? Wasn't she married?" Rick faltered in his step.
Shane passed him, lightly nudging his shoulder with his own, "C'mon."
Rick caught up with him and shook his head, "You know what I just remembered? Why I never asked you about this stuff."
"Why don't we talk about your high school love life then, huh?"
"Well, that's a short conversation. It may already be over."
"That right? There was Holly." Shane clicked his tongue, "Wait, nope, that was me too." Rick let out a laugh and Shane continued, "Then there was Sheila. That's the one you lied to me about."
Rick cut in quickly, "I never lied about Sheila. I just got mixed up about what the bases meant."
"Just so you know, a home run…that usually means a sexual act. Intercourse."
"Yeah, yeah, I know that now."
"I think what you did was more like a ground rule double or something."
Rick laughed again, "I'm aware of the judge's ruling."
Shane paused in thought, gauging the amusement on his friend's face, before clearing his throat and continuing on, "Remember that one girl you dated while we were in the police academy? What was her name… Kelly?"
Rick furrowed his brow in thought before shaking his head, "No, it was uh—it was Kaitlyn."
"Same difference." Shane brushed off the correction, "Anyways, she kind of reminds me of Tori, you know?"
Rick was quick to argue, "No way. They're nothing alike."
"How so? I mean, they're both bubbly as hell. Smiling for no damn reason all the time."
"That isn't what Victoria is like." Rick chuckled, "Victoria is… she's authentic. The smile isn't an act and her personality isn't some play for attention. She's good to her core. She cares. She's…well, Daryl said it best when he started calling her Sunshine. Kaitlyn wasn't anything like that. It's why that relationship didn't last long."
"Whatever, man. Before Lori came along, I just figured that was who you'd end up with."
Rick chuckled, "Funny you say that considering I figured if you ever settled down it'd have to be with someone as independent and fun as her."
Shane's jaw clenched at the turn of direction this conversation had taken and glared at the nonchalant Rick. Guess his initial assumption had been right. Rick hadn't changed. Not yet at least. Not like him. He hadn't adapted to the world around him yet. That's what made him a risk to this group.
He rolled his shoulders and readjusted the grip on his gun, "Shouldn't be talking about this stuff… That life, those people, they're gone. Kaitlyn, Maryanne, Mrs. Kelly…" He scoffed, "It's like we're all old folk. All the people in our stories are dead."
"We can't just forget them." Rick argued firmly.
Shane chuckled, but this time there was no amusement in his tone. It was a laugh of disbelief. Could his good friend be so far behind in the times? Shane shook his head, "The hell we can't. It's hard enough accepting what's happened without digging up the past. I'll tell you what it is. It's nostalgia. It's like a drug. Keeps you from seeing things the way they are and that's—that's a danger. You got people depending on you, man."
"You think I don't know that." Rick snapped. He had been following behind Shane, but at his friend's cold words he came to a sudden stop.
Shane slowed to a stop as well and slowly turned around to give him a look of annoyance, "I don't know. What are we doing out here?" He scoffed and began to close the space between them, "You got every able body at your disposal out scourging these woods for a little girl we both know is likely dead!"
"You think we should abandon the search?"
"It's not my call is it?"
"I'm asking." Rick replied firmly. Angry with the turn this conversation had taken. Shane didn't reply. He turned on his heel and began to walk away. Rick rushed forward, close to heels, and demanded again, "I'm asking!"
Shane scoffed, but didn't stop walking, "Survival, Rick!" He shook his head, "Means making harddecisions but—but you got this knack! You spread us thinner and thinner and—and I'm trying to save lives here but you're out—out saving cats from trees."
"Is that what Sophia is!?" Rick whipped around so he stood in front of his friend, forcing Shane to stop. "A cat in a tree!?"
Shane glared at him and lifted his hand to point at Rick, "Hey, don't you do that man! Don't twist my words." He barked at him again, his voice sharp and dripping with disapproval, "How many times we get called up to look for a missing child, man? You got 72 hours. 72 hours! After that you're looking for a body and that was before. I mean, you honestly think we're just gonna find Sophia alive?"
"Are you so sure that we won't?" Rick replied in a steady voice.
"We being completely honest?"
"I'm counting on you to be."
"It's math, man. Love or not…Sophia? She only matters to the degree in which she won't drag the rest of us down." Shane shrugged. Bluntly honest. Rick's jaw clenched at the statement and Shane raised his hands in question, "Thought you wanted honesty."
Shane turned and began walking again. He only got a few steps away before spinning back around, his anger burning anew, "If we'd just moved on, man, we'd be halfway to Fort Benning right now and Tori wouldn't have had to take that bullet for Carl! But we're out here—we're risking our lives." Shane pointed at his friend again, "Tori should've died, but Otis? He paid that bill." The man scoffed loudly, "What the hell are we still doing this for!?"
Rick closed the gap, determination filling him, "I had her hand, Shane. She looked me in my eyes and trusted me. I failed her. If I hadn't left she wouldn't be out here. I think she's still alive and I'm not—I'm not gonna write her off."
Shane held his glare for one tense moment. Neither spoke and finally Shane tore his gaze away with a grunt. No amount of arguing his logic was going to turn Rick's emotions away from this situation. He was stuck with a guy who was living in the past. Shane's eyes landed on a blue flag nailed to a tree and nodded at it, "It's blue. It belongs to T-Dog and Cas."
"Looks like we wandered into their grid." Rick replied before walking on. Shane hesitated a moment, his grip tightening on his weapon, before following after wordlessly.
The woods were quiet and that's what he liked. It was much easier to think when you didn't have a bunch of people rattling their traps around you. Goin' on and on 'bout shit that didn't really matter at the end of the day. Daryl readjusted himself on the saddle while leading the creature, a light brown female horse named Nelly, further up towards the top of the ridge. He was focused on searching the ground and trees for any sort of sign that the little girl had rushed through here. It wasn't hard to see the trails that hid in plain sight. A deer had been through here recently. Couple rabbits too. No signs of a little girl though. Finding these trails brought him comfort. Something for him to do. Something he was good at doing. After years of hunting and practically living in the woods it had become second nature to him.
As his eyes combed through the dirt and underbrush, new thoughts invaded his mind. Daryl wanted his whole attention on finding Sophia. He had made it his mission since Rick asked him to lead it up in the beginning.
Daryl found himself distracted though.
After every thought of where Sophia could be holed up, an afterthought of Victoria drifted through his mind like a ghost. Hollow eyes that once seemed so bright held nothing now. The shadow of a smile that tried so hard to convince the world that everything was still alright. Victoria's soft skin—
Daryl shook his head and focused on the task at hand.
Finding Sophia.
That's what he'd worry about right now.
One thing at a time.
His eyes traced over a shallow pond at the base of a short steep hill when he caught sight of a strange object washed up against a sandy ledge. Daryl stopped the horse and slid off with his crossbow held tightly in his hand, ready to be drawn at a moment's notice.
Slowly, he walked down the hill. He bounced his gaze back and forth in the directions all around him. Like hell was he gonna get got by some dead son of a bitch in the middle of bum fuck nowhere. As he reached the pond, he didn't hesitate in kicking through the shallow water to reach the object.
It was a doll. A familiar doll at that.
Daryl bent over and yanked the filthy toy out of the water. It was mud caked and waterlogged but there was no sign of blood or tears. That was the best sign he could ask for right now.
"Sophia!" His voice rang out, echoed through the hills, but his reply was only silence and the soft sounds of the living forest. Daryl tucked the doll onto his belt, the half-destroyed toy hanging there limply, before hanging the crossbow over his shoulder and heading back toward the horse. It was a struggle to push his way up the steep slope, but it only took a few minutes before he was sitting on top of the horse again.
The plan that formed in his mind was to go up the ridge even higher. It'd make it easier to see the land around him, and he might spot the little girl from this bird's eye view. Daryl dug his heels into the horse's side sending the animal into forward motion.
Yet again his mind wandered to Victoria. Could nightmares really be the reason why she drifted around like a walker? He had night terrors as a kid, but hard as he tried he couldn't remember what had been the content of those vivid dream. He had outgrown them and now they were nothing but a past memory.
Daryl subconsciously kicked himself as he remembered hastily trying to swipe away a stray tear. It had been pure instinct. Hell, he hadn't even fully realized what he had been doing until his hand was halfway to her damn face. At that point it would've been more strange to just stop. The last thing he had expected though was her unusual reaction. Scoffing at him about being a little bitch or smacking his hand out of the air would've been valid responses in his mind. But, no. She hadn't done either of those things. Victoria had held his hand to her face, taken comfort in that small moment, and it chilled him to his core. Daryl had been more than half tempted to yank his hand away, but she looked so…relieved. The small smile on her face had been real for the first time in days. Daryl couldn't bring himself to take that reprieve of pain away from her. He had just been shocked that the source of the relief had been from him. Victoria was—
Sophia. He needed to focus on Sophia.
One problem at a time.
And this, unlike the other, was an easy problem to deal with.
Daryl was near the top of the ridge and like he suspected the view was far reaching. He could camp out here for a minute and spend the proper time looking over the land for clues. A sudden, soft hissing filled the air and he recognized it a beat too late.
Before he could react, Nelly neighed loudly and threw her front hooves up in into the air in a panic at the snake resting along the path. Daryl reached out to grab the reigns, but his hand missed it by inches. He fell off the horse, hard, and the momentum of it all sent him tumbling backwards. Daryl hit the edge of the ridge and kept going.
The world turned into a blur as he fell down the steep heel. He rolled roughly across the uneven ground, branches whipping him from all sides, and sharp pain flashing into recognition as his body hit the ground again and again. The sky and the ground were blurring into a mix of blue-green and it didn't stop until he hit slick stone and slid into a pool of water.
Luckily, if any of this could even be considered lucky, the pool he landed in was just shallow enough that his head hadn't been submerged. Daryl sucked in a sharp breath of pain as he just laid on his back staring at the spinning sky above him. Nausea rolled through him and he took slow and steady breaths until it passed.
When the world stopped spinning, he pushed himself up onto his elbows. Blood was dripping from his right eyebrow into his line of vision and he lifted the back of his hand to swipe it away. At the motion, pain ripped through his right side. Daryl glanced down to see one of his on arrows had been unlodged from the crossbow and was now stuck in him. It came in through the back and stuck out the front.
"Son of a bitch." Daryl spat in annoyance. Blood was beginning to pool in the murky water around him.
Daryl hadn't ever been the kind to mope. What was the use? He knew his life was shitty and his luck even shitter. No point in crying over it. When the dizziness had fully left him, he forced himself up to his feet shakily. He had landed at the far end of the pond where he had originally found the doll. He stood on a sand bar surrounded by an incline of trees and bushes. Daryl glanced around one more time to confirm his thoughts.
He had landed in a fucking bowl.
"Fuck." Daryl said under his breath before stumbling forward a few feet. Suddenly his vision went double, and it caused him to fall to his knees. At some point during all that tumbling he must have hit his head hard enough for a concussion to settle in place. That's what the headache was telling him at least. That and the warm blood he felt trickling by his ear.
Daryl unsheathed his hunting knife from his belt and began to cut the sleeves off his shirt. He hissed in pain at the movement but didn't hesitate or stop. When he got both sleeves ripped off completely, he tied them together and then tied the longer sleeve around his torso above the arrow to keep it lodged in place.
He stood back up and glanced at the steep incline he'd now have to climb to get back to the trail. The sound of rustling bushes made his hand shoot back to grasp at his crossbow only to now realize it wasn't there anymore. Daryl spun around quickly, unsteadily, to look for a sign of it, but it was nowhere to be found. He had hit the edge of the water pretty hard meaning it must have been thrown even further than him.
Probably in the dead center of the pond.
He allowed himself one more curse then grabbed a long stick and heading into the water. Daryl waded, waist deep, using the stick and his feet to look for his lost crossbow. He tried not to think about a walker rising from the depths to grab at him.
Daryl finally found it and ducked his head under to grab it, but once he got back to the sand bar with it he found himself more exhausted than he had been before. His head was pounding, the warm blood from his wounds was still oozing, and the nausea was beginning to return.
With a grunt, he tossed the crossbow strap around his shoulders then set forward with his new walking stick to climb the steep ridge.
Glenn was sitting by the fire pit by himself. After talking to Victoria on the porch, he had run off to find Maggie only to come up empty handed. The cowgirl had promptly, and expertly, disappeared and he couldn't help but wonder if it were to purposely avoid him. At that thought, his brief surge of confidence shattered, and he dropped down into an empty seat by the fire.
Lori climbed out of a tent and began to pass him without even a second glance. Glenn scrambled out of the chair and quickly followed her. Lori scooped up a dirty clothes basket, ignoring his stare the entire time. Glenn's determination didn't waver this time.
Lori shook her head and kept moving, "Mind your own business, Glenn."
"You're pregnant." The words felt like taboo to say. Glenn's voice was louder than he meant it to be and he wondered if it really had been loud or just felt that way because of how shocking it was to hear that phrase said nowadays.
Lori spun on her heel to face him and Glenn had to struggle to stop so the two wouldn't collide with one another, "You can't tell anybody, ok?"
Both of them glanced over at the same time to see Shane and Rick emerge from the woods. They wore similar looks of disappointment mixed with annoyance and neither spoke a word to each other as they walked. Glenn looked away in time to see Lori's gaze lingering on the men for a moment. Her eyes were shimmering with regret and worry and panic.
"You haven't told him yet?" Glenn's eyes widened in realization, "Have you at least talked to Tori or Hershel to see if either of them know how to deliver a baby?"
"Glenn." Lori warned as Rick handed his gun off to Shane and made his way toward the two of them. Glenn gave Lori one last look before he turned and rushed away. This was not a secret he wanted to have to carry.
"Tori."
A hand clamped down on my shoulder making me jump in surprise. I twisted in the rocking chair to see Hershel standing beside it looking down at me. The plan had been to take a small nap but rest unsurprisingly didn't come to me. Briefly my eyes had fluttered close and I was greeted with a nightmare of every single member of the group drowning in a pond while I stood on shore helpless, I hated those dreams the worse. It was better when I was the only one in the dream dying. After that I had just sat there fighting sleep. I must have zoned out pretty bad to not hear him approach me at all.
"Yes?" I tried to make my voice sound strong, but it still came out a whimper.
Hershel noticed this, I saw it in his eyes, and he nodded once, "I need to speak with you. Come with me to the generator?"
"Of course." I quickly stood up and fought the wave of vertigo that hit me. Rick needed us all to put on our best behavior for Hershel so he would choose to let us stay.
"It's come to my attention that you haven't quite been yourself lately." Hershel hummed as we walked together around the front porch to the back of the house. He bent over to grab a red can of gas that sat outside a small shed. I bent over to grab the second one for him, but he waved me away and took it himself, "Maggie told me that your group is concerned about your health."
I shook my head, "I'm fine, Hershel. They're just…overbearing. Worried for nothing."
"Worried for nothing?" Hershel turned to face me and nodded once, "Tori, let me ask you. If a patient were to walk into your office with extreme exhaustion, vivid night terrors, and a change in temperament… would you diagnose them as fine?"
His point was made, and I had no retaliation to it. Obviously that patient was far from fine. Guess that meant I really was too. I heaved a sighed and rubbed at my eyes, "Ok, so I'm not fine. I know. But Hershel, I have to be." I leveled the most serious glare that I could at him. "We have a lot going on beyond me. My sleeping habits are hardly priority number one. At least, they shouldn't be."
Hershel paused for a moment, saying nothing and just taking in the moment. He pointed to the shed window and I glanced over curiously. At first, I thought he wanted me to look at the generator inside, but my reflection was what came into focus first. My usually tan skin was sickly pale and there were purple bags that hung under my eyes.
"Exhaustion can kill. Don't take your condition lightly, Tori."
I nodded once as he pulled open the shed door, "Thanks, Hershel."
Footsteps began to approach us from behind and I glanced over my shoulder in time to see Rick. His eyes snapped to mine, and I stiffened in embarrassment as guilt boiled in my gut. Rick looked tired but focused, and there was an anger in his eyes I couldn't place. The guilt in my gut told me it was my fault.
"You're welcome, Tori. Now if you'll excuse us, Rick and I need to talk."
Rick's gaze drifted past me to Hershel. I quietly excused myself and hurried away. As much as I wanted to run to my tent and hide for the next few days, I forced myself to stop by the edge of the house where I was out of sight of the men. This needed to be fixed. This needed to be mended, and I had to be the one to do it. Snapping at Rick like that had been in poor taste and it wasn't like me.
"One of my horses is missing." Hershel said. Apparently, I was out of their line of sight but not ear shot. "Did one of your people take her?"
"I was given the impression you knew about it."
"I did not."
"I'll have a word with Daryl."
"And Jimmy? You took him out today. Did he also give the impression of my consent?"
I resisted the urge to slap a hand to my face. We needed to be on our best behavior with this guy and yet here we were stealing horses and trusting the snot nosed teenager to be telling the truth.
"No. He said it outright." Rick defended. "I took the boy at his word."
"Jimmy is 17. He's not my kin, but I am responsible for him. These things need to be cleared with me."
"Sounds like we need to work on our communication. What do you suggest?"
"Keep it simple. I control mine; you control yours."
I crossed my arms and leaned against the side of the house. Hershel was gonna be a tough one to convince. As far as it looked, the guy was hell bent on us being out his hair and out of his way. Rick stormed past me in a hurry and a part of me was tempted to just let him go.
But no, I needed to be a strong, functioning adult.
"Rick?" I called out sheepishly. Well, maybe just functioning was ok.
Rick spun around in surprise. The stormy look on his features softened, "I was heading out to look for you. We need to talk."
I agreed with a sigh, "Rick, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to be so—so immature and petty earlier. Blowing you off like that? I'm just—I'm tired. And stupid. You don't have to—"
"Whoa hold on." Rick held up his hands to stop me and came a step closer, "I was coming to apologize to you."
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Wait, what?"
Rick set his hands on his waist, his eyes glanced down briefly before landing back on me, "I stand by my decision. You really didn't need to be out there in your current condition, but I shouldn't have called you out like I did. I should've just talked to you like we are right now."
"Rick, I'm stubborn as shit." I said and he chuckled lightly, "Sometimes I need to be called out like that. You were not in the wrong here."
Rick laughed again but it was short and tense. He shrugged, "That's good to hear. I thought you'd be angrier. I usually don't win these arguments."
There was something hanging in the air. Something unsaid and problematic. I broke the silence we had let settle between us, "What's going on, Rick? Is everything ok?"
He didn't immediately answer. Instead, he glanced over the makeshift camp we had created with a line of worry carved into his forehead. At this rate I was starting to think it was permanent.
"Am I wrong for keeping this search going?" His question caught me off guard and it took me a second to get my head back on the same page. Rick kept going, "Is it pointless? Shane thinks so and thinks I'm not making the hard decisions that need to be made. I can't—"
This time I threw my hands up like he had earlier to stop his flow of words. I couldn't help but snort once in disbelief, "Stop, Rick. You're in the right. Just like you were right to keep my dumbass out of the woods today. All the decisions are hard these days, and I think you're doing a great job. Really."
"What if Shane is right?" Rick asked, his words barely a whisper, "What if my way of thinking is outdated? That I should've left it in the old world."
"No." I said firmly. "Leaving your humanity in the old world is never the right answer. Rick, we have to find out what happened to Sophia. We can't call the search now and leave that question unanswered. Even if something God-awful happened… We have to know. Carol has to know. She needs that closure."
Rick just stared at me a moment. His line of worry had disappeared, but I could still see the lingering doubt in his eyes. He gave me a soft smile, "Thank you, Victoria."
"It's what I'm here for." I breathed and began to waver on my feet. This conversation and the last had taken more out of me than I thought possible. Rick reached out to steady me. His hands rested on my arms right under where my sleeves ended.
I gasped at the sudden contact as something sharp filled my chest. Rick hadn't seemed to notice. He was talking to me, his words sounding like a muffled blur, as I stared down at his hands. When Daryl touched me, it felt like warmth. It was slow and soothing. Like time had come to a stop just to allow my body and mind to relax. But Rick? Rick was the opposite. His touch felt like ice to my skin and threw everything into overdrive. My heart was racing, my vision tunneled, my breaths were coming in quick and sharp to compensate, and something in my chest burned like it was being filled with liquid nitrogen. A dark spot on the inside of my wrist formed, like an oil stain, and it slowly began to creep up my arm towards Rick's hands.
Reality hit me again and I shoved Rick away. He stumbled back in surprise. I glanced up to meet his gaze and saw not annoyance at being shoved away, but just pure worry. He shook his head, holding one hand up toward me, "Victoria, are you ok? Did you hear anything I just said?"
"I'm going to go take a nap." I lied and rushed past him. As I hurried toward my tent I stared at my arms for any sign of the black mark. There was nothing there. Even when I ran my own hands over my skin, I felt nothing different. Either it had been sucked back into my skin or I was completely hallucinating.
For the first time in my life, I prayed I was hallucinating.
Daryl leaned his head against the ground and took in steady, deep breaths. His side ached and his head was throbbing with pain to match each racing beat of his heart. He pushed himself up and glanced down below him. Daryl had covered a lot of ground, but it had taken him a little over thirty minutes just to get halfway. Granted that half hour felt like a lot longer than what it truly was.
"Oh, come on." Daryl panted to himself, "You've done half. Stop being such a pussy."
He threw himself up and caught a branch with his arm then pulled himself up a little more. Daryl then pushed off the uneven ground to grab the next part of the young sapling only to hear the worst sound possible.
The snapping of a branch.
Daryl cried out as the branch snapped off completely and sent him tumbling back down the steep hill back into the bottom of the bowl. The redneck blacked out before he even reached the bottom.