Chapter 14 - You live in sweet denial

Itachi couldn't stop looking. A lump formed into his throat at the sight of her.

He noticed the absence of the medical apron that he usually saw her wear during her shifts at the hospital. Instead her face was concealed by the dishevelled tendrils of silk hair that were cascading along her naked forearms and petite back. Sleek effortless ponytail she always wore nowhere to be seen.

Her white lab coat was tattered and stained with blood laying just on the top rail of the chair she was half-sitting on. He assumed it was the same one he saw her last wearing four days ago.

Oversized red shirt was poking through her messy locks in contrast. Her face was hidden from his point of view, but he knew better than that. She looked tired. No. She was tired.

She was tired to the brim point where she would fall asleep near him, which happened on more than one occasion during these days. She would sit there for hours waiting anxiously, during and even after her shifts. Silent and still. Even now he decided, she was asleep. Her heart-shaped face pressed to the pristine white hospital sheets, while her dainty arms unconsciously gripped them. At this point, after that incident she didn't even care if he was in the room as well, although she would do occasional check-ups but that was about it. Her attention was focused on Shisui, that much he could understand.

It's been four days since she treated the both of them. Itachi awoke the next day to be exact.

-3 days ago -

His mind felt hazy, it was hard to think, although it didn't take a long time to remember what happened and figure out where he was. After that he was hit with a wave of anxiousness.

What happened to Shisui? He didn't want to be alone here, Itachi concluded as he threw a weary glance around. Hospital was never a place he would visit too often especially on his own behalf.

But then he saw them. Shisui was just lying motionless on the hospital bed while the petal haired woman was half-asleep, her lithe body draped all over his cousins' body effortlessly. Long locks were spread out chaotically all over the place; the bed sheets, her back, even tangling in between her arms. It seemed to act like a blanket, like a really soft looking petal coloured blanket that he couldn't help but want to feel between his fingers just one more time.

He couldn't help but recall the way she stirred in her sleep, a soft gasp leaving her mouth indicating she was probably having a somewhat unpleasant dream. She griped the bed sheets, clutching them so hard as if her whole life depended on it.

Itachi found himself entrapped by the domestic image of her, it was as if she had this divine aura about her. No, it felt as if she rather had this mystique aura about her that made her entire persona glow of a brightness that beat the lucent of the sunset, it was magical.

And then he felt it. It hit him all at once, this constant feeling that there were voices and stares suspended somewhere out of time and out of this world of perceptions staring at him and haunting this place around her and it made his blood freeze into his vessels and his chest to clench, as an anxious feeling and a restless sensation creeping along his spine and limbs making him weary and almost… scared.

He never felt anything like this before. This aura that was surrounding her, protecting her, it was radiating from her very own being. He didn't need to use his chakra to feel this immense power approaching him. It was coming at him in waves allowing him to memorize the moment. It felt like she shouldered the prayers of hundreds that blended into one immense being, into this…aura.

Even exhausted to the brim she still looked like a phenomenon because no one in this entire world could be so young, pure, innocent and angelic while still having the grace, the elegance, the curves and the mesmerizing features of a grown-up woman, like this kunoichi. She felt out of this world, like a piece that of puzzle that didn't belong to the finished picture.

And then she stirred again, her breaths becoming more and more hectic with each passing second. The divine and mysterious aura she held around her dissipating completely as if it was never there to begin with. It was like a spell that held him back together just broke. It caused him to snap back to reality. He felt like he woke up from a dazed dream only to be splashed with a bucket of cold water instantly.

His blood ran cold when he looked at her properly. A nightmare, he assumed looking at the petal haired woman. Without even thinking twice he tried to move from his bed, but almost fell out of it by trying to do so. He felt weak, for the first time in his life Uchiha Itachi felt as if his limbs were refusing to cooperate with him, they felt numb.

So, he did what he thought was the only option. "Sakura-san!" his voice echoed through the hospital room. She didn't react in the slightest. "Sakura-san! Wake up!" his voice rose a few octaves higher, but it was yet to cause any reaction out of the pink haired woman. "Sakura!" he all but screamed through the hospital room causing her to wake up from her nightmare immediately.

Her eyes, they went straight to the person lying next to her. "Shisui!" her voice was all but breathless and raspy, eyes full of tears that threatened to spill, whether agonizing or happy he didn't know. For a split second there was a light smile that crossed her plump lips before quickly turning into a sulking frown. There it was, her hope that was shattered in a matter of seconds, void of any empathy.

Her face fell and she turned her head to the side. Their gazes met instantly. She looked at him, emerald eyes wide in shock…and he could tell there was a hint of disappointment. She took another look at him before instantly rising from her chair as if being caught red-handed, as if the plain wooden chair burned her and she had to get away from her seat to avoid getting burned even more.

She took a few strides through the room and there she was standing near his bed. Green eyes back to normal, a full façade set in place. As if he didn't see her, as if he didn't see the emotions that played on her face, as if he didn't know what was going on.

"Itachi-san." She spoke after a brief second, her professional persona coming through, pretending as if the whole scene that played in front of him just now never happened, brushing it off completely. "I see you are awake, how are you feeling?" she asked, a note of concern laced through her voice, which he actually seemed to appreciate this time around.

"I'm fine." He mumbled without meaning to do so. She frowned, clearly not satisfied with his answer. "I will run a few check ups on you, Itachi-san." She said while swiftly moving to sit beside him on the bed. "Although I gave you an antidote, it is still only a prototype as I didn't have much time to complete it fully." she cleared her throat. "Because of that I have to check if there are any poison particles that still might be lingering in your body." Her voice was tired, hoarse even as she looked at him through her lashes. Gaze dull and followed by two very prominent dark circles underneath her eyes.

He nodded, accepting the facts she has given him. Another wave of anxiety crashed into him. Why Shisui is not waking up? Didn't Sakura give him the antidote as well? How long has he been out for? Where is Izumi? He had to save her; he couldn't just sit in the bed all day waiting for a miracle to happen. It was all too much, a whole mess that was going on around him felt like a big never ending headache. But he kept it to himself, at least he tried to, it was hard to hide that bewilderment in his dark eyes at the realisation of what was going on around him. A façade deemed worthless in her eyes, a stoic façade wasn't enough to hide the twinkle or realization that crossed his eyes. Still, he sat up in his hospital bed seemingly unaware of his condition.

He licked his dry cracked lips, the uneven texture stinging his tongue unpleasantly, the taste of iron still lingering on his lips as her eyes moved to meet his in anticipation. "How long?" he asked almost anxiously, unaware of the way time flew around him at all. She sighed.

"Just one day." She said her gaze still intent upon his. He almost sighed as if a wave of relief washed over him in an instant. She catched the barely audible sigh of relief from his lips, green eyes noting the dry cracked skin on them.

She placed a hand on his chest and looked him in the eyes again. "I'm going to perform a check up on you now, Itachi-san." Her voice was barely audible, only heard by him just because she was in close proximity, he could almost feel her breath on his face, the smell of peaches lingering somewhere in the hospital room, the bright pink of her hair cutting through his eyes fiercely, framing her face protectively as if it was a veil.

He nodded again, feeling the softness of her palm directly on his hot heavy chest. The raven haired male could perceive his heart pound madly into his eardrum akin to a bass guitar; he never heard his heart beating with something else than pure adrenaline since he always felt so dead and hollow on the inside thus his heart so far has never resonated to anything but darkness, solitude and duty, so why was it thumping so frenetically now?

He felt her chakra invade his system, flow through his insides, warm and fuzzy, delicate and slow as a small river descending straight from the frosty mountains into the thick forest. He eased into it, letting himself devour the rare moment, the rare feel of her chakra, letting his guard down just for a moment. This woman saved his life.

"How come Shisui is not awake yet?" he found himself asking without thinking at all, as if words just slipped past his mouth. For the longest time he found himself trying to push back these rumbling feelings, trying to think of Shisui and Izumi, yet his thoughts would go back to the moment he saw her lithe body glowing ethereally in the moonlight, his cousins body on top, her siren curves wrapped in pristine white sheets, giving him only a glimpse of forbidden temptation. What kind of relationship did his cousin and the pink haired woman had? His blood was almost boiling, he had Izumi yet he was still going after another woman, it wasn't even a civilian woman, no he would've batted his eye at that, just like he always had, he understood his cousins feelings all too well. Izumi did not feel the same way about Shisui, which made him hopeless, he searched for comfort in foreign women's beds. But this time he went after the fucking Gondaime's apprentice, it was a whole new level.

"He's still in comatose state even after I have given him the same antidote prototype you had." Her voice was laced with concern. She moved her hand away from his chest only to brush it through her messy locks. She sighed again satisfied with the results of her check-up. He flinched out of his thoughts, the feeling of her hand moving slowly slipping away from his chest leaving him almost breathless. She licked her plump lips, moisture from her tongue making them glossy and wet. "I don't know when he's going to wake up." She said after a minute, her gaze falling down to her lap in shame. She felt ashamed for not having a direct answer, she felt ashamed for not being able to wake him up despite being one of the best medic nins in Konoha, she felt ashamed for letting him fall into this comatose state in the first place. Green tired eyes held back the tears behind them, the agonizing truth piercing her sharply.

"Its not your fault." He said softly without realizing, his bruised fingers carefully clasping around the messy, yet silky soft strand of hair tugging it to his side ever so slightly. Even her hair, it felt divine in between his fingertips.

She looked at him in awe, her face now facing his, her plump rosy lips forming an 'o' shape, eyes still glossy with unshed tears. She didn't know what to make out of this situation. Was Uchiha Itachi comforting her? She felt like choking.

He had this sudden urge to ask her about what was going on between her and Shisui. He had a feeling their relationship was not a simple one, but still he decided to give himself something to doubt about. He wanted to think it was just a casual fling that both parties agreed upon, but the way she looked at his cousin, the way her eyes almost shined in hope thinking it was him who woke up first instead of Itachi himself. He wanted to think nothing serious was going on, but the doubts kept creeping in, he remembered the way Shisui asked to help her in the case of him dying. It made him feel uneasy. He has to know.

"Sa-.." she interrupted him quickly moving away from his bed, her body heat already dissipating into the cold air, her figure standing at the opposite side of the room, medical chart already clutched to her chest. "Your family will be here any minute, Itachi-san." She said clearing her throat once again, letting the saliva coat her throat. She was almost afraid to hear what Itachi wanted to say, the only thing helping her out of the situation were the familiar sources of chakra approaching the hospital building.

They stayed in silence until they both heard the shuffled footsteps approaching in a hurry and the door swinging completely open.

The Uchiha family and the Gondaime Hokage entered the cold room. The tension ran high in the low temperature room.

"Oh my god what happened to my kids!" Mikoto Uchiha was nearly sobbing seeing the two of her beloved sons laying in the hospital beds, she ran to Shisui first grabbing his cold hand into hers, her gaze met Sakura's, she looked at her expectantly.

Sakura's throat felt dry, a lump was forming in her stomach, she was feeling nauseous. What was she supposed to say? She couldn't save Shisui from entering the comatose state? That she worked for nearly ten hours in the hospital's underground lab trying to create the prototype for the antidote despite her chakra exhaustion? That she fell asleep beside Shisui without realizing it only to be caught by his younger cousin? That she didn't know what kind of poison was used to poison Shisui?

"They were poisoned." All eyes went on her as she did her best to reply without seeming off. She caught the glimpse of her Shisou and looked at her as if pleading for help.

"Who poisoned them?" Uchiha Mikoto all but cried still clutching Shisui's hand, black eyes full of despair.

"I-I don't know Uchiha-sama, but Shisui is in comatose state right now, his situation was way more severe than Itachi-san's." She all but bowed politely to the Uchiha Matriarch. "I'm afraid I don't know when he's going to wake up. I'm sorry I couldn't prevent him from falling into a coma." She was still bowing, ashamed and too afraid to face their judging eyes, afraid to face Sasuke who haven't even said a word since entering the room. Afraid to plead for help from her Shisou, afraid to face Sasuke's and Itachi's parents.

She felt the dark flare of chakra, the Uchiha Clan head's anger increasing within seconds. She only hoped that all of his anger wasn't directed straight at her.

"First they kidnap the next Uchiha matriarch in line and then they try to poison the next clan head and his advisor to be?!" Fugaku was screaming, his voice echoing throughout the hospital hall outside the confined patient room.

She trembled not knowing what to do with herself. Her eyes started getting watery again, but she couldn't show any weakness, not Infront of them. She couldn't let them know that something was going on between her and Shisui, it was more than enough that Itachi was aware of her and Shisui. She had to act indifferent.

Mikoto looked at Itachi, her gaze yet again, pleading. "Itachi-chan, please tell me you know where Izumi-chan is?" his mother's dark eyes pierced through him.

"We couldn't find her." He told quietly, moving his gaze away from his mother in shame. "It was either her or Shisui, Father." Fugaku spoke next.

"What kind of ANBU are you if you can't even find your cousins fiancé? You do realise the three of you are the Uchiha clan future? How carless can you two be, not being able to do such a simple task?" He was screaming again his anger rising even further, just like the temperature in the room.

There was a lump in her throat again and she was only thankful she wasn't being asked to talk again. A shiver ran through her spine letting the cold sweat coat her body and the realization hit her, completely, suddenly, without mercy.

Shisui was the Uchiha clan's next leader in line… But most importantly Shisui had a fiancé…Shisui HAD A FIANCE. And there she was going crazy for him, craving his touch for weeks, thinking she had a chance and could win him over somehow, letting her guilty fantasies take over the actual reality. She thought she had a chance against the other woman even if she was the only one deep in his heart. She even thought it was okay to be the other woman, she didn't care, she wanted him, she craved for him, she thought she could heal him, she could help him, she could make him happy by being by his side. But she couldn't.

She was batshit crazy, she was disgusting to the point of being twisted, going around trying to steal another woman's man. She was pathetic, really. Thinking about various excuses she could use to get closer to him, to feel his touch on her skin, to see his smile, to touch his curly messy mane. She even thought she would be happy by just having him sleep with her, she thought that would be enough, she was ready to give up her body entirely just for one night, just to have him to herself for one night. She thought she could make him feel, make him feel different than the other women that he had bedded. She wanted to tame him like an animal, keep him close to her…because the feelings she felt towards him, they were eating her inside out, every time he touched her skin she wanted more, he kept igniting the desire she never knew she had within herself.

He felt like a sweet dream she could never have, because she was conquered by those nightmares that helped her keep a record of the wreckage in her life. She kept finding excuses, one after another, be it her dreams, be it her mission, or her goddamn kekkei genkai. She just wanted to be someone he cared about, genuinely. And in all truth, she really hated the idea of being the other woman, she hated the fact that he probably didn't feel anything towards her, she was just another one in his list, another one that came up with an excuse to get close to him.

No, no, he couldn't think of her like this, he saw her memories he knew her plea for help was genuine the first time he met her. But that didn't change the fact that he still probably didn't feel anything even as remotely close to what she was feeling. Something within her chest started to twist so painfully that she almost had the urge to grip her heart and pull it out of her chest for a few minutes.

What is wrong with her? When did she became so twisted? So selfish? She should've been aware that something like this would happen sooner or later. That her dreams would be crushed in a matter of seconds. This was no dream; this was her harsh reality that she agonizingly tried to ignore.

She should've known the moment she heard another woman's name from Itachi-san lips that night. The way he stiffened, the way he didn't even spare her a single glance, not a single word. He just took his clothes and left, left her cold and alone. As if she meant nothing, as if she was worthless. It only took him to hear her name to leave Sakura abandoned. She tried to reason, she tried to think about something else, but the long lonely nights over the past few weeks had her thoughts creeping into a very dark corner, one she didn't know she had. It was heart-breaking really.

One time she even remotely lets herself get close to someone romantically she ends up being burned. But what else did she expect? As if he haven't told her to not fall in love with him. He did, and yet she still managed to harbour her feelings, the feelings that were never meant to appear in the first place. They just had common business that was all. Although, she found it hard to understand why he agreed to help her, why he decided to get himself involved in her mess. He had a fiancé that he loved, why would he do something like this?

But then it hit her. Loneliness. She could understand where he was coming from, he mentioned himself that his lover didn't feel the same way about him as he did about her. He was lonely for company, lonely for a loving, warm touch. He wanted someone who wanted him, truly, sincerely. She knew he lived alone, she knew he only had Itachi…and Izumi. It all made sense, the clan, the engagement, everything. She found it hard to accept, she didn't want to, the miserable truth hurt more than a blunt knife cutting through her skin.

A tear rolled from under her shimmering eyes. She quickly wiped it hoping no one cared to notice. She was still looking at the ground, her gaze dull. She still could not believe what she heard. She never had a chance, never. He was never hers to begin with. Never hers to win over… She should just give up.

The rose haired medic sunk her canines into her lower lip so hard that immediately glistening rivulets of blood moistened the tip of her tongue as she kept herself from crying out in the room full of people. It was worse than anything she had ever felt before.

"Excuse me." She said pushing quickly through the heavy bodies standing in the room. She needed to get out. She needed to get out NOW. She felt like she would choke on her own sobs and tears if she didn't go now. She needed air and a bottle of sake.

Upon exiting the room, she felt one pair of certain black eyes boring into her back. She didn't need to know who it was; she already had a feeling. She closed the door behind her.

Itachi couldn't focus on his fathers' words, not even for a second. After he announced about Izumi's position in the clan, he looked at Sakura. He didn't know if she was aware, he really doubted it.

And then he saw it, her gaze, the same one as if something broke within her for the second time in the last day or so. Truly a helpless case, worst case scenario. His father kept shouting, arguing with everyone in the room, but all he did was look at her.

She was looking at the floor, eyes full of tears, but no one saw it. No one cared to notice her heart breaking in a room full of tension. He saw a single tear grazing her cheek that she quickly wiped away with mastered precision. She was still holding herself together even amidst all of the chaos that surrounded her.

And then she fled, fled for her life out of this room full of tension, full of anger and excuses. No one cared, no one noticed. He felt pity for her, he truly did. His eyes were the only ones escorting her out of the room.

Author's note

First of all a question to all of you reading my current work. I have another idea for a new fanfiction that just cannot leave my head at all, so I'm thinking if If I should write the prologue for it and post it on here and ao3 as well or do you guys think I should first finish with this one? Honestly, im torn. Also I really got inspired this time so ive spent like 6 hours today writing fanfiction instead of starting to prep for my uni assignments. I'm about to graduate from uni but I have no motivation whatsoever to start doing something especially with the whole quarantine situation. Other than that I've got nothing else to say, hope you will enjoy the chapter because who knows if I will be able to update this soon again... I really have to get my shit together LOL. Anyways, as always all of the comments, follows and favourites are appreciated, so if you enjoy my work please do not hesitate to leave a comment or just follow my story for the newest updates! I hope that until next chapter comes out we would surely be able to hit 125 reviews? Let me know what you think of this chapter by leaving a review. I will see you all very soon!