Once upon a time in a land far far away, Weiss Schnee awoke to find herself in a very strange land in a very strange time. Her first indication that something was off, was the second tongue in her mouth. Weiss quickly pushed the boy off her and spit. She didn't mean for the spit to land on him, but she wasn't exactly sad to see it happen either.
The boy was a stranger. A well-dressed stranger with that was currently wiping spit and maroon hair out of his light pink eyes. He had a powerful chin but most striking was his outfit. A thick rich cloth dyed royal purple clung to his well-built chest. It even had a fine cape that flowed behind him regally. The one drawback was the pants, if those ridiculous poofs could even be called such a thing. Most disturbing though, was how he was only slightly confused by this situation.
"What the hell was that?"
The boy looked up, astonished. "I did not know that the princess had such a filthy mouth."
"It was a lot cleaner before you started putting your fucking tongue in it!"
"I…apologize my lady," although the prince's tone did not sound apologetic at all. "But the dwarves told me it was the one way to break the spell."
Some of the fire went out of Weiss's face. It was instead replaced with a cool look of determination. Perhaps a bit colder than her usual one. "Dwarves?"
It wasn't until then that Weiss really noticed her surroundings. They were one a hill in the middle of a forest. Birds chirped and insects hummed around her. The smell of pine wafted through the air, both alive and dead. Weiss turned and saw a small cabin, covered in faded yellows, reds, and blues. As she turned the bed she sat on shifted with her weight. At least she hoped it was a bed. Half a glass cylinder of the same length as the bed had been laid on the grass and mud next to it, almost reverently. But the weirdest part was the dwarves.
"Klein?" Weiss screamed. There were at least half a dozen of them. Each with differently shaped beards and colored tunics. But they all had the same stub nose adorned with freckles in the exact same place. And they were all half his normal height.
"Snow!" Cried one with yellow eyes. "We're so glad you're awake!"
"But who the hell taught ya to cuss like?" Asked another with red.
"Snow?" Asked Weiss. "Who is Snow?"
"My dear," said another Klein in his usual whispery voice. He took her hand in his smaller ones and looked up at her with his usual brown eyes. "You are Snow. Snow White. Don't you remember?"
Weiss briefly recalled one of those stuffy Ancient Mantelian language classes Father made her take. She did briefly recall learning that her name, Weiss Schnee, was archaic for the term, 'White Snow'. But nobody actually ever called her that or used that language outside of those old texts and fairy tales written hundreds of years ago if not more.
A creepy dread moved its way down her arms. This wasn't where she was supposed to be. What was this then? The past?
"Excuse me. I need go…see something" Wiess got to her feet, only briefly noticing that her dress was not only far longer but also a darker shade of blue than it should be. It made it hard to walk but she managed to push past the purple-clad prince and got to the cottage without stepping on a single Klien.
Inside the cabin was just as old and rural as it looked from without. It had over half a dozen beds, with extra space in the back. Presumably, that's where she was sleeping before they rolled her out to the meadow. None of that was really surprising. What was surprising was just how much dust was on everything. A blue-eyed Klien handed her Weiss a handkerchief just in the nick of time. Which was unfortunate as he then had a sneezing fit far worse than hers. She handed the handkerchief back, slightly disgusted at the amount of snot already on it, just in time for the sneezing Klien to leave and the one with brown eyes to come in.
"Don't you ever clean this place?" Weiss asked.
The Klien looked offended. "Why my dear, you're the one who's in charge of cleaning."
Weiss's eyes narrowed. "Klien, you've been cleaning up after me and my family since I was little."
"Little?" Weiss bit her lip. But the two-and-a-half foot tall Klien was apparently disturbed by something other than Weiss's poor word choice. "My dear you've only lived with us for the past few months."
Months? No that couldn't be right unless- Weiss looked around the room and realized again just how dusty it was. "Klien, how long have I been asleep?"
"Oh only about two weeks," said the yellow-eyed Klien as he came up behind them. "We're so glad you're back."
"Yea, once you clean up, We'll finally get a good night's sleep without sneezy blowing his head off." Said the red-eyed one sticking his thumb out at the other Klien still having a sneezing fit.
"Two weeks!" Shouted Wiess. That can't be right. That can't be natural. "What could even put me out for two weeks."
"We were quite hoping you could tell us that yourself." Said the lead Klein with brown eyes.
Wiess sat down on the nearest bed, her hand to her head. A muffled snore met her and she turned to find yet another Klien asleep on the bed. Wiess sat directly on his foot and he barely stirred in his sleep. Wiess moved to the next bed to think.
She could remember everything. Her family. The one Klien that raised her more than her actual parents ever did. Her first year at Beacon before the fall. Even the assault on Haven. But after that it got blurry. She was with the rest of Team RWBY. Maybe even Team JNR but she wasn't sure. They were someplace dangerous. Too dangerous. After that, all she had was a jumble of purple crystals, black Grimm, and something else.
"A…red…sphere," Weiss said slowly.
"A ball." Shouted one Klien.
"An apple." Shouted a Second.
"Apples aren't spherical you idiot!" came a third.
"They're close enough." Came a forth.
"No, no," said Wiess. "There's something else. It had a…uh…a black center. An eye?"
"A poison apple!" shouted a Klien.
"She's been poisoned by a witch!" Agreed another. Soon all the Klien's started shouting in agreement. The 5th even snored louder than he was before, apparently joining their shouting in his sleep. Wiess covered her ears trying to concentrate. The witch's eye- or apple- or whatever it was, it didn't matter. What mattered is that she was with her friends when it happened. If she was here, where were they?
Something tapped her side. Weiss recoiled as did the thing that touched her, nearly dropping what it was holding onto for dear life. It took Weiss a minute to realize what it was holding was a hand mirror as the object seemed so large in comparison to the small shaking Klien behind it. She took the thing wordlessly but gingerly.
Weiss looked about the same. The collar that rose up around her neck was ridiculously large and her earring's and hair clip were nowhere to be found. In the hair clip's place was a red ribbon that she already despised. Thankfully though, her platinum hair was its usual side pony that fell to her butt. Her usually sharp chin and nose were a bit rounder and even more petite than she remembered. But the slight scar that lined the left side of her icy blue eyes was in the correct place and length.
Despite everything, Weiss found herself smiling to the mirror. She wasn't as vain as most people assumed her to be, but whenever she saw a mirror she couldn't help but think of a certain song. It was the first song she ever wrote. It was cheesy and uncharacteristically obtuse in its metaphors, but was also the first song she sang for one of Father's charities that were actually about her as she was and not whom her father wished her to be. She still remembered all the lines.
"Mirror, mirror tell me something
Tell me who's the loneliest of all."
Much to Weiss's surprise, the mirror complied in her with her question. A face appeared. She recognized it as the same face the towers gave their AI when operating video calls. At least the towers had the decency to stick it on a pair of shoulders though. This face was completely devoid of any neck or hair, and when it turned she could tell it was little more than a mask. Except it was talking to her in a sing-songy voice that was equal parts comforting and disturbing.
"You were the loneliest once, 'tis true.
But in a mansion to the east lies one far lonelier than you."
The face disappeared as smoke swirled behind the glass. Color began to shine through and an image came into focus. A looped video of a girl in a tattered red dress was scrubbing a floor, mice at her feet. Her face was obscured from view but Weiss recognized the cropped black hair and bang that fell over one side.
"Ruby!" Weiss jumped up and ran out the door, nearly trampling the Kleins in the process. She got back into the meadow before tripping on her far too long dress.
"Snow White!" Shouted one of the Kleins. He held out a hand to lift her to her feet, but only managed to pull her high enough into a sitting position. "You mustn't go running off like that. There are Grimm in the forests!"
Weiss paused in her attempt to scrape the dirt off her now hated dress. "Grimm?"
"Yea," Said the red-eyed one. "Nasty things. They'd eat you right up given the chance."
Weiss rolled her eyes. At least somethings were consistent but the ones that weren't were really starting to annoy her. "Klien, have you forgotten? I'm. A. Huntress. I've handled worse than just a few Grimm before."
The red-eyed Klien just burst out laughing while the yellow-eyed one was shocked and the leader simply confused. "My dear, that is a man's profession."
Weiss stood straight up and readied herself for a fight, verbal or physical. She hardly ever fought with Klien in her life but it became increasingly clear that whatever these things were, they were not Klien. Fortunately for the small men, Weiss realized two more things at that moment. 1) Myrtenaster was not at hand. 2) What was in her dueling hand was little more than a mirror. A talking mirror, yes, but not one that would serve her against the Grimm or a small army of tiny Kliens with a value system nearly as antiquated than her father's.
Then noticed something else. A purple-clad figure sitting against the cottage next to a Klien. "You're still here?"
The prince sat up, then winced as he hit his head against the cottage. "I have nowhere else to go."
Weiss didn't blink. "Don't you have some distant castle to head off to?"
The prince shook his head.
Weiss knelt till she was level with his scared pink eyes. "What's your name?"
"My name?" The Prince tested the phrase out as if he never actually said it before. "My name is…um. I am…uh. Noble. I am noble and wearing purple."
"I can see that." Said Weiss. "But what's your name?"
"My name." Said the noble boy in purple clothes. His pink eyes went wide. "I have no name. I have no role. I don't…I don't exist."
The boy continued mumbling some half-spoken phrases to himself and Weiss watched mystified. This idiot thought he could just come onto her in her sleep and then hang around? She'd freeze him normally but there was something else going on here. She couldn't quite tell through her immediate anger but quickly came out of it when a small hand tugged on her dress.
Weiss spun and brandished her mirror only to see another Klien, one she had not seen before. This one had purple eyes, like the Prince's vest, but no beard. Even the thick mustache the original Klien was so proud of was nowhere to be seen. In its place was a large dopey smile. The dopey Klien pointed to Weiss, and then to the Prince's side. Weiss's eyes went wide.
"So umm…If you don't exist or anything then you wouldn't mind if I take this?" Weiss was already removing the rapier from its scabbard before she finished the question. Not that it made much difference to the panic-stricken prince.
The sword was a relic. It didn't revolve, nor did it even have a single dust cartridge. Weiss doubted the thing could even fire ammo. To add insult to injury it was designed for right-handed use. Still, Weiss could maneuver it well, and it was plenty sharp. It would at least serve in a pinch. Great. Now she owed something to this boy.
"How about a trade?" Weiss proposed. "If you don't have a home to go back to, you could take mine. All I want in return is your sword."
"You'd give me your role?" Noble Purple-Clothes asked.
"Yea, sure whatever. Just let me keep this."
The boy sprung to his feet, "Done and done! Oh happy day! I have a role!"
He ran inside the cottage his poofy pants flopping as he did sod. Weiss knelt down and whispered to the beardless Klien, "Make sure he does all the cleaning."
The Klien nodded and Weiss began to walk off before the brown-eyed one stopped her. "Snow, are you really are leaving?"
All the Kleins were gathering together. Even the one that was asleep earlier was now resting in the doorway, staring at her with unfocused eyes. "Yea, I guess so."
"Don't forget us?" Asked the red-eyed one.
Weiss looked around at all seven Kliens Siebens gathered together. Over the years she had convinced herself that the changes in her Butler's voice and personality he often went through were nothing more than a simple party trick he did for the sole purpose of making her laugh. But sometimes, sometimes Wiess wasn't so sure.
"I could never." And then with an antique rapier in one hand and a magic mirror in the other, Wises Schnee set out to find just what this strange world had done to her friends.