Routine of Failure

After winning the robot battle (again), Jeremie offered to teach Sissi about computer software. "Then you add the annex program there and... yeah! Just like that! Wow, you're a fast learner, Sissi."

"Thanks. Although, I think I'll stick to making machines. Software is really confusing for me," Sissi laughed along with Jeremie. She glanced at Jeremie's computer screen, gazing at its silent still face.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just... a little tired. I think I'm going to head to bed. I'll see you in the morning, okay?" Sissi grabbed her cane and walked out. The lone halls echoed with the steady tap of her cane. Her body and head weighed heavily on her soul. With Judo training and making trinkets, her private fight against XANA was taking a toll.

"Let's just hope that XANA doesn't blow something up tonight," Sissi murmured. Of course, she didn't plan for XANA to cancel the soccer field's gravity the next day. While she helped the Lyoko warriors where she could, she decided to keep her distance for a while. Just don't get in the way she told herself. Easier said than done.

There were a couple of reasons why it was hard. First, she had to act like she didn't know Aelita, Lyoko, and XANA. Second, she had to figure out different ways to fight XANA without blowing her cover. Third, she had to make sure she wasn't the damsel in distress. If she was, the Lyoko Warriors could lose precious time saving her. Sissi gripped her cane tighter just at the thought of it. Useless.

But at the end of another XANA attack, Sissi walked towards the Lyoko gang sitting on the bench the next day. "Okay, now what did I say last time?" Sissi grumbled to herself. "Well," She said to them, "You all look cheerful. Except for Ulrich."

"You would be too if you had to be me," Ulrich groused.

"I find that hard to believe." Sissi rolled her eyes as she smiled at Yumi. "And how was your day, Yumi?"

"Good?" she replied with a raised eyebrow.

Sissi grinned nervously and scratched the side of her face, "Sorry for the small talk. It's kind of weird talking to you guys sometimes."

"Why, are we that amazing to you?" Odd asked.

"No, dog brain. I mean, I don't talk with you guys all at once. To be honest I," She paused and shook her head, "Ah, it doesn't matter. I just wanted to say hello."

"Well, there's space for one more on the bench," Jeremie said kindly.

Sissi smiled, "Thanks, but I think it's best that I stay ou- I mean, that I leave."

"Didn't you want to ask for Jeremie's help with a computer problem. Something about circuitry," Yumi asked.

"Oh, right!" Sissi suddenly remembered her yesterday conversation. "Well, I think I know what's wrong now. Thanks for the help." That said, she walked away. Yumi watched her leave. Formless thoughts swirled in her head, and the dark-haired teen couldn't figure out how to make them useful. Two imps on Yumi's shoulders tugged at her mind. Do this do that, they said. But Yumi knew in her heart to do the right thing.

"Hmph," Yumi grumbled quietly at her thoughts. But Jeremie voiced her thoughts better.

"Doesn't she look… lonely to you? I mean, the more I'm around her, the more I feel really bad for her."

"That's normal. You're helping someone and they look sad. It's a classic damsel-in-distress move that girls do all the time."

"Oh, and you're the girl expert?" Yumi smirked.

"Of course, if I weren't, who else would be?" Odd asked.

"A girl?" Ulrich, Yumi, and Jeremie all answered and laughed. Odd's fussing was largely ignored as they strolled towards the edge of the campus.

"Anyone feel like sneaking out and going into town for a while?" Ulrich asked.

"Count me out, I've got a date with my pillow."

"And I'm gonna work on my program for materializing Aelita. One of these days, I'm gonna do it!" Jeremie said.

"How about you Yumi? Wanna go into town and have ice cream?" Ulrich asked.

"No, not tonight. I've got to do a little studying. I'm way behind thanks to all these XANA attacks. See you tomorrow."

"There goes the exciting evening," Ulrich sulked quietly. As the others went to their separate places, he stood there watching Yumi stroll away without another word to him.

As this was happening, Sissi went to her room and threw her cane on the desk, plopping into her chair as she fidgeted with her tools. "Dumb jitters. Why was I so nervous? Ugggh, forget it," She muttered. To her left, she grabbed a pair of shielding goggles and soldered her work together. "This is the fifth attack in a straight week. I'm never going to get done if I keep going back to square one!" Her temper hissed like the whishing vapor of solder melting onto her new project. Her hands warily worked around the circuits, patching one wire to the next. "Okay, that's one. Now for the next."

She was working, but not on her project. The tasks of soldering, drilling, and wiring weren't blocking her mind. She felt foggy and not because of the fumes. She finally put down the tools after looking at the clock. The red digital clock that read 9:30 pm blinked at her to go to bed. She looked around the room. I have to tell you that she was looking for a sound. A strange thing indeed, but it can't be described any other way. A beep, a tick, a tock, something that wouldn't remind her of the sobering reason why it was so quiet.

Nothing. Sighing, she put her tools and trinkets away and went to bed, not even worried about her nightly shower.

The next morning, Sissi walked over to the vending machine. Everything seemed like a white boring blur: Wake up, get dress, go to school, defeat XANA, try to finish the project, learn more about XANA. Lately, that's all it had been. Day in and day out, so monotonous that there were times she thought she forgot how to breathe.

Then her ear caught a familiar laugh. She hadn't heard it for a very long time. Weirder yet, it was accompanied by a female laugh that was unfamiliar to her. Sissi shook her head and quickly became aware of her surroundings. The air was light and bouncy, but it changed. How? Then she saw Emily chatting with Ulrich by the school building. Sissi's eyes shot opened and blinked. She shook her head again, rubbed her eyes with her forearm, and looked to see if her eyes were going funny. "Okay, Ulrich is with Emily… not Yumi. That's… beyond new." The cogs in her head failed to turn. "I wonder how Yumi-"

"WHO SAYS THAT I AM!" Sissi knew that voice. From the look of the black sweater girl, Yumi wasn't entirely fond of the situation. Sissi walked over to her. "What do you want?" The black-dressed tiger snapped at the dragon.

"Hey, hey. I was just making sure you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because Emily's around Ulrich and it bothers you," Sissi muttered plainly.

"Why would you say that?" Yumi grumbled.

Sissi rolled her eyes, "You know, you don't have anything to worry about. There's nothing wrong with Ulrich meeting people, and it would be a nice change for him."

"And why is that your business?"

"Oh, for the love of Pete! Stop being jealous, Yumi!" Sissi harshly hissed. "He already likes you, so stop being stupid."

"I don't like Ulrich like that!"

"Don't lie to me! Tell me there isn't something inside of you saying, 'he's mine.'" Sissi stared straight into Yumi's eyes, never wavering for a moment. Yumi's stare shifted to the ground, and she crossed her arms. Quiet hour-like seconds passed by. The gravity of what Sissi said started to seep into her inner soul. The Dragon Queen sighed and looked at Ulrich and Emily, who were still laughing.

Before Sissi could speak, Yumi asked, "Do you… know how long they've been… seeing each other?" She slouched a bit, looking up at the principal's daughter. Sissi bore her eyes into Yumi, scrunching up her nose and frowning powerfully.

"It doesn't matter!"

"Wha?"

"If you don't tell him how you feel, he's going to think you don't care."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, brother," Sissi facepalmed herself. "Stop being jealous and tell him how you feel… calmly," She said, suddenly remembering the girl's temper. Sissi started walking off, but Yumi grabbed her arm.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I told you," Sissi started to say. She watched Ulrich and Emily walk away, still chatting. "I can't get what I want. I have to go now." Her cane sadly tapped the ground as she walked back to her room. Yumi couldn't ignore the dark gloom over Sissi's head. Glancing back, Yumi saw Emily and Ulrich leave. She shook her head awake and met up with Jeremie and Odd.

Sissi came back from her room, fumbling through a book when she heard cheerful laughter. "Hmph," She muttered. The noise of happiness only irritates people who don't have it. Or it infuriates people when they know the people laughing have done something wrong or ignorant. Sissi wondered if Ulrich knew what he was doing. There was one way to find out, but the thought shook her bones. After a quick shake of her head, Sissi trudged over to Ulrich, tapping him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, could I talk with you for a second, Ulrich? It's kind of urgent." The brown-headed teen stared and then, asking Emily for a break in their conversation, walked a little way to Sissi. "Is there a reason why you're with Emily?"

"No, why?"

"N-no reason," Sissi cleared her throat. "I was just wondering."

"What do you want, Sissi?"

"Geez, why are you and Yumi so paranoid? No wonder you're made for each other."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Sissi quickly spoke up, "The reason I ask is because of Yumi. She feels hurt."

"How would you know?" Ulrich asked, narrowing his eyes. Sissi looked away with a 'hmph'. She couldn't look at him when he had that face. It brought unbearable heat to her face. Sighing, she focused back on him and said,

"Because I saw her upset. I can see that you and Emily get along fine, but I think you should talk with Yumi."

"Sissi," Ulrich paused and shrugged his shoulders, "Yumi and I, we're different, okay?"

"Still, you should tell Yumi."

"Why are you so worried about that!" Ulrich exclaimed, "Do you want me and Yumi together just so you can have fun separating us again?"

Sissi's eyes widened, her teeth clenched, and the hand on the cane turned red from her death grip. She stamped her cane on the ground, shouting, "For the last time! I'm not interested in you anymore! So, shut up and stop bringing it up! It doesn't help!" Ulrich fearfully stepped back. She didn't know she was breathing hard until she glanced over at Emily's horrified face. Maybe Odd was right for calling her the Dragon Queen. Sissi sighed, "Listen, Yumi cares about you, even if she doesn't say it. So, don't forget about her just because she sends mixed signals, okay?" The up and down movement of his head solidified her deal. She sadly plodded away. Just then, Yumi came up.

"Hey, Yumi."

"So now you're talking with Sissi?"

"Actually, we were just talking about you," Ulrich said, throwing his hands into his pockets. "Yumi, I'm not dating Emily. She and I just get along very well, okay?" Yumi elevated her eyebrow.

"How long have you been talking with her?"

"About a day, but it's nothing serious," Ulrich sighed, "Anyway, you came to tell me something?"

"Yeah, XANA is on the attack."

"Right, let me talk with Emily and then we'll go… together." The jerk of her head was unnoticed as Ulrich went to talk to Emily. Then she saw Sissi retreating into the school, and a sad frown creased Yumi's face. "Okay, I talked with Emily, let's go. Yumi?"

"Yeah… yeah, let's go." The two raced off to the factory.

Meanwhile, Sissi marched up the stairs, stomped down the hall, opened her door, and slammed it shut. Her cane clanked to the floor. Sudden jerks of her chest sapped the strength in her legs, and she crashed to her knees. Her hands covered her face. Water leaked out of her closed eyes as she tried to forget the emptiness of her room and Ulrich's words.

She lied. She lied, but it wouldn't matter. She failed every time trying to get him, and she had a whole previous timeline of failures to remind her. Nothing was going to work. Nothing. Sobbing tears streamed down her face as she rested her head against the bedside. It didn't help that the team was all against her. Aside from Jeremie and Odd, Ulrich and Yumi were the most suspicious about her. Just the thought made the whole room feel icy cold and frighteningly small. Her lungs slowed to gentle tidal breathing. With the help of her cane, she stood back up and gave a long sigh.

"It doesn't matter," she lied hoping it would become truth. Turning to her computer, she furiously typed away on the screen, trying to piece together calculations. Her mouth never moved, and her eyes never blinked. Focus and flow meshed into one person devoid of the feeling of time, space, and pain. Almost devoid of pain. She punched in the last key when her computer finally beeped with a happy sound. "I did it. I did it! HA! HA! I did it! I did it!" she quickly wrote down the necessary components of her calculations on paper and the computer. "Now all I have to do is… Oh, come on!" She groaned, seeing the bright bubble of light speeding towards her. She dropped into her chair and blew her hair out of the way. She sighed with a half-smile. "Well, at least I got the calculations."

Sissi stood next to Yumi and saw Ulrich walk from Emily over to them. "Well, what do you know, looks like their little talk is over."

"Yeah," Yumi smiled widely.

The corner of Sissi's lips turned up at one side. "What happened between you two? You look excited," She said.

"Nothing, I just took some of your advice."

"Advice?"

"Oops, nothing, nothing," The Japanese's nervous grin grew as did Sissi's smirk while Ulrich came by.

"Hey, I was waiting for you," Ulrich smiled.

"So was I, but Sissi was here to keep me company," Yumi beamed brightly.

"Thanks," Ulrich grinned.

Still smirking, Sissi rolled her eyes as she turned to leave. "Alright, alright, I know when I'm not wanted. Nice to see you two aren't fighting."

"Hey, Sissi," Yumi called. "Would you like to hang out with us for a while?"

"What?!" Ulrich and Sissi exclaimed. Yumi's smile couldn't be shaken.

"Hang out with the rest of us. We would love to have you around when you have the time."

Sissi's mouth dropped open. She blinked several times and wiped her eyes as she sniffled. "I… I would love to," Sissi simpered happily. "Just give me a moment, I need to get some stuff from my room." Picking up her cane and darting for the room, Sissi brimmed with happiness, leaving Ulrich confused.

"What was all that about?" He asked.

"Oh, you never know. She might be more helpful than you think," Yumi smiled grandly.

Continued...