Sparks of Hope (A Star-Wars Advent Calendar)

By Meysun

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16. Core Planets (Plo Koon)

20 BBY

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Jedi Master Plo Koon knew himself well enough in the Force to acknowledge he had enjoyed blasting that horrid slave-facility to dust and pieces.

He had also been treading the Way long enough to release those feelings, focusing instead on recalling the unique sensation flying always gave him – joining the Force in a precise, sharp, daring way Skywalker was probably closest to understand.

It had all been such a terrible mess. The mission on Zygerria, and later on Kadavo had nearly cost everyone their lives – were it for little Ahsoka's resources and Skywalker's tenacity.

The Togrutas from Kiros were all tended to, and Master Koon had assured himself that Ahsoka had not suffered from her captivity – he was not sure yet she had fully understood what she had risked, but was confident Master Ti would be able to coax more feelings out of her.

As it was, though, little Ahsoka seemed surprisingly fine, and had joined him promptly into meditation once she had finished talking to him. Master Koon had had no such luck with Skywalker – then again, the boy felt so stormy in the Force it was no wonder he had preferred releasing his feelings into smashing training droids to pieces.

Captain Rex and Obi-Wan had suffered most and were yet to be released from the medical bay – he was quite certain though that they would likely spend the night there. The Captain had looked close to collapsing once they had reached the cruiser, and Obi-Wan was feeling so small and quiet in the Force it almost felt like his dear young friend was gone.

And this was a feeling Plo did not like at all.

It reminded him too much of a small, six-year-old boy who had been so frightened and hurt by a cruel Jedi Master he had stopped talking for several days – long after Pong Krell had been sent far away in the Outer Rim.

Plo Koon had been younger then and was teaching the little Initiates Astronomy and Planet History. He was already on the Council, but was still honing his piloting skills, and the little ones had always asked eagerly about his trips to far away planets.

When Master Krell had seemingly confused teaching hand-to-hand-combat with strangling a defenceless Initiate, Plo had needed all his calm and deep friendship with Qui-Gon to prevent him from slicing one or two of Krell's arms. Instead, he had persuaded his friend to take up Krell's teachings, and had watched him and little Obi-Wan get closer in the Force.

The boy, though, had stopped talking for days. Plo still remembered him all tiny and huddled in the Force, colouring maps and writing down Planet-names without a single noise.

"Who can tell me what the Core planets are? Which ones did you colour orange, Initiates?", he still remembered asking.

And little Quinlan, who had been busy colouring the Outer Rim planets that simply interested him way more, had pointed at Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan knows them all", the boy had announced, a front tooth missing in his smile as he beamed at Master Plo.

But Obi-Wan had stayed mute and motionless, small hands folded in his lap, eyes slowly filling with tears as silence had stretched in the class, Force-presence almost muted and shields drawn so tight he barely felt there.

Master Plo had asked the others instead, promptly filling the silence with eager answers, sending soothing waves towards the distraught little boy. He had sat down next to him, once the class had ended, and had watched fat tears making orange-coloured planets blur into shapeless dots on the flimsi.

"The Galaxy is a wide, endless place", he had observed, projecting gentleness and care towards the small Initiate. "Yet sometimes it does not feel big enough to disappear."

The little boy had looked up, tiny, freckled features peering up at him, making him wonder how someone could possibly think of hurting him.

"You do not need to disappear to be safe, Obi-Wan", he had told the child in front of him. "And you do not need to shine to belong into that little world of ours. Do you know what would happen, should a Core-planet disappear brutally?"

The child had shaken his head and Master Plo had extended an arm, wrapping it around the narrow shoulders of the boy who would become his closest friend's Padawan, and a friend himself.

"It would disturb the balance and gravity of every celestial body around. And what is the Temple, but a very small Galaxy, young one?"

"He… he said I would be sent away…"

The small voice had been hoarse and broken from disuse, and Plo Koon had felt the shivers running through his tiny frame.

"He said the Temple should be cleared from… late arrivals like me."

More dots had met the flimsi, quietly, but Obi-Wan had not moved, small hands still curled in his lap.

"But I don't know where to go."

He had gathered the little one into his arms, then. Wrapping him into the folds of his robe, feeling tiny fists wrap themselves around the dark fabric, and a small face bury itself in his shoulder as the boy cried, quietly.

"You, little Obi-Wan, are exactly where you are supposed to be", Plo Koon had told him quietly. "It is Pong Krell who does not belong here. And I will take you to the Map in the Archives now and show you just how far away we sent him, so that he will never harm anyone again."

"But he is going to be angry."

The voice had been almost inaudible, yet the fear in it had been clear.

"If he is truly a Jedi, he will let go of his anger. And if he does not – it is him, and not you, who should clear the Temple. Now breathe with me, little Obi-Wan, and try to let go of that huge fear."

Those days of simple comfort had long passed, though. And Krell had returned, like a childhood nightmare, to sow death and destruction on Umbara – yet Obi-Wan had seemed to handle it as well as circumstances allowed.

Now, however… His friend had been too weak to talk much, starvation and injuries taking their toll on him. Obi-Wan had been able to fight back and maintain a semblance of a façade as long as Governor Roshti had been around – he had also been very anxious to assure himself of Ahsoka's and Skywalker's safety. But once in the medical bay, his friend had faded quickly.

And his Force-presence felt like nothing but a shadow.

Plo Koon entered the medical bay quietly, letting the doors glide close behind him, and knocked – entering the room where Rex and Obi-Wan were resting.

He found his young friend asleep, hands curled into fists close to his face like so long ago, shields still firmly up in the Force, preventing anyone from guessing his thoughts.

Captain Rex, though, was awake, golden eyes meeting his in that stalwart, steady way of his.

"How do your wounds fare, Captain Rex?", Plo asked, sitting down next to Obi-Wan's bed, careful not to wake him.

"I've been better, General", Rex answered, truthfully. "But it feels wonderful to be away from that place and to know that General Skywalker and Commander Tano are safe as well. Your rescue was… very daring."

The ghost of a smile grazed the Captain's thin cheeks, and Plo marvelled once more at his warm, steady signature. It made the absence of Obi-Wan's in the Force only more striking.

"It got him hard, General.", Rex spoke, softly. "He was injured before we came, and… they made sure to whip him every day. But what was worse – what was so much worse for him was to see others punished in his place. They recoiled from him, General. Because they were scared. Because they honestly believed, very quickly, that Jedi only make things worse."

Rex sat up, leaning against the cushions, unashamed of showing his wounds – bearing them like the rest of his armour.

"He made me give them his rations. He kept away till very late in the night, trying to soothe them through the Force, even when they made it clear they wanted nothing to do with him. And in the end… in the end he just made himself as small as he could. He told me he was hiding in the Force – trying to make the slavers forget he was there, so that they would not remember to harm others in his place. So when that Keeper taunted him, mocking that very compassion he tried to break in him – I killed him."

Plo nodded, silently, hand resting on the bed close to Obi-Wan's, but not touching him. His friend was still hiding in the Force – had still to truly come back to them. To feel that disappearing had stopped becoming the better option.

"You know", Rex said softly. "I did not realise. Not really. I thought the General and I were similar, because we both fight. But I was wrong. I was trained to survive and kill, General. I was bred for warfare. And General Kenobi… he was trained to protect. And console. He will only survive if he can protect others. Taking that away from him… it was as cruel as harming a child."

"He is no child anymore, Captain", Plo observed. "He is strong in the Force, even though he is hiding, right now. But Obi-Wan is a true Jedi."

"I meant no such thing, General", Rex whispered, golden eyes growing somewhat wide. "I do not think General Kenobi childlike or weak, it was not my point and I apologize if it came across that way. What I meant…"

Rex rubbed at his short, light hair, popping his neck, completely oblivious of the Bacta-smeared marks around his throat.

"He has something pure, General. Something… something that makes one feel very fragile inside, whenever he gets hurt, because it shouldn't be. He was comforting the prisoners through the Force, late at night – and I was right next to him, I could feel it. But I could also hear some of his thoughts. And do you know what he was thinking, at the very end, when he made himself very small and stopped talking?"

The Captain's eyes were burning with fierce and protective care, and Plo shook his head.

"He was telling himself stories. Stories his childhood friend General Vos invented. He was lulling himself to sleep with them, creating that small bubble where nothing could hurt him. And when he realised it was helping me relax, he shared them with me."

They both stayed silent for a while, watching their friend sleep.

"He misses his vode, General.", Rex finally said, voice soft. "He won't tell you. He won't tell anybody. But he needs them, right now – not just General Skywalker or Commander Tano. He needs you. General Windu. Master Yoda. And General Vos, Unduli and Fisto. He needs to see you are still one in that Force you all feel, or he will end up disappearing, thinking the world is a better place without him. And we can't have that."

"No, Captain", Plo Koon answered, lowering his shields and wrapping comfort, love and care around Obi-Wan's sleeping frame, and around that wonderful Clone Captain who had turned out to be more resilient than any Jedi.

"We cannot have that."

A/N: [In Meysun's best Eminem voice] : "Guess who's back... Back again... Angst is back... tell a friend" xD xD! Just thought I'd try to make you smile a bit after that angsty roller-coaster, because Umbara then Zygerria/Kadavo... and knowing that the Deception-arc comes next, it's a bit much for an Advent Calendar! Buuuut... it is real good fic material, I confess, and I think I'll definitely write that post-Deception fic, where after all Obi-Wan 'disappears' because there's so much to weave there. Sorry Lilly, Obi-Wan was indeed thinking of Lucia, Squid and Dwight and it broke my heart - but it was also his way to stay resilient and I promise you he gets to see Quinlan and get a hug soon afterwards. I hope I gave Master Plo's voice justice - he is truly amazing in that flying rescue of his, I had forgotten! Much love, take care and... no angst tomorrow, I promise. See you soon, Meysun.