Okay I know I have three writing in progresses but this idea has been bouncing around in my mind for about a year. There is obviously something between Bellamy and Clarke and I just don't believe nothing has happened yet, and if you've read the books you know that bellarke is endgame.

Clarke

'If I'm on that list your on that list' Bellamy's deep voice rang through my head.

100 people, only 100 people can be saved from primfaya, the burning blistering radiation the will wipe out all life. We've all tried so hard to survive, first from the grounders, then the mountain men and ALIE, and now primfaya, when will the fight ever end.

I stare down at the list, it's always that damnable number - 100. 100 kids sent down to die, 100 people to send back up to the cold, empty vastness of space.

My name, in Bellamy's surprisingly neat handwriting glares up at me, I'm taking somebody else's place, they don't need another leader, they have Bellamy, Kane and my mother. Yet Bellamy's warning rings through my head 'If I'm on that list your on that list', is it so selfish to want to believe Bellamy's threat, to want to survive? .

Bellamy - he deserves to survive, at first he was troublesome but he's changed, he's a survivor - a caring and passionate leader, he inspires people, he inspires me. My stomach flutters, there's no denying that he is an attractive man, I know it, he knows it and so does anyone with eyes. A small part of me, no matter how hard I'd deny if accused, does have a crush on him, he's brave and protective and he understands the weight I carry - the weight of being a killer, a murderer and a leader.

Yet that fluttering brings forward the pain I'm so desperately trying to keep at bay - Lexa. I loved her. Now she's dead, just like Finn. Maybe Octavia was right, when I'm in-charge people die, tears well in my eyes as the pain pushes past my well built walls, I stumble through the empty halls of the Ark, everyone is hard at work rebuilding alpha station.

Wells. Charlotte. Finn. Lexa. They're just those who I knew personally, so many are dead because of me, the guilt is overwhelming and all consuming.

Walking thoughtlessly I end up outside Bellamy's room, he understands the pain, the guilt - he's made mistakes too, one's that have killed and cause pain.

I don't remember knocking at the door or Bellamy answering, but I sit there gripping his shirt so tightly the my knuckles are white, I cry and babble, it doesn't make sense but somehow he understands, he always does.

"C'mon princess" he says as he sits me on the bed rubbing my back in soothing motions, "I know, I know" he repeats, I look up at him through my tears, his eyes are red rimmed, he's been crying too - even though he is and acts so strong, Bellamy is no different to any other human, he feels the pain, he cries but he holds himself together for the others, he's strong so they don't have to be, we bear it so they don't have to, together.

My co-leader, my friend, I need him, he needs me. But now I need him now more than ever before, we hold lives in our hands, were responsible for deciding and we bear the consequences.

I'm curled against him, practically in his lap, a stray thought slips through my head, a dangerous yet not outrageous thought. "I need you" I whisper to him, "I need you too" he whispers back, he doesn't understand, maybe I should leave it at that, but i can't help but look him in the eyes and repeat "I need you" comprehension flickers through his eyes as he finally understands what I mean, his cheeks redden and his breath becomes shallow, maybe I've ruined our perfectly constructed partnership. I'm about to stand to leave, embarrassment coursing through my veins, but then he grips my chin gently and says "I need you".

Relief washes over me as he swoops forward, placing a tentative kiss upon my lips, his lips are warm and strong, just like him, they leave my lips tingling. He kisses me again, more sure and confident, it's not love, not yet, but it's trust and comfort and desire.

Sooooo, first chapter. I think you can guess where the rest of the chapter goes, I don't write smut, i don't think i could so use your imagination. This chapter is probably going to be the shortest one but don't hold me to that, I'll try to update when I can but I am quite busy at the moment.

Love Liya xx