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Clarke
He thinks I'm dead, he doesn't know I'm here. That thought spins around my head, taunting me, I feel nauseous, speeding towards the bathroom I scrabble for the toilet lid and retch violently, the radiation causing thick black blood to make its way up my throat.
My head pounds, I need to recover before making my way towards polis and I need to go soon, my rations are quickly dwindling. One more day I decide, one day to recover until I have to make my way towards the bunker.
I stand on shaky legs, gripping the broken sink tightly, the mirror above the sink is cracked and dirty, I lift up my arm and use the dirty soaked shirt sleeve to wipe at it, my face appears looking utterly broken, scars and radiation burns litter my face, my hair is lank and sweaty and my eyes look exhausted. My lips quiver, as my legs give in and I fall to the ground, I'm afraid, so afraid, afraid of what waits outside, afraid that Bellamy believes I'm dead and that I'm all alone. Tears stream down my face, my breath quickens, I'm hyperventilating.
I don't know how long I sit on the floor for but my breathing is now even, my legs and behind are numb and I'm freezing. I get up slowly and make my way towards the sofa, slipping down onto it, hunger niggles at the back of my brain but I can't bring myself to get up, my eyes droop as I let the darkness wash over me.
Octavia
Clarke's not in space which means Bellamy may not be alive, he could be dead, suffocating in the empty, dark void of space. My heart aches, my only family left could be lost forever, I will be left alone to lead when I was never meant to, Bell is the leader, he can thrive in a situation like this, I can't live up to that, I can't help these people.
The grounders won't follow Abby or Kane, they're sky people, skikru, outsiders, they won't understand their ways or how to make them listen. The weight of responsibility lies heavy, Clarke's phrase rings through my thoughts 'I bear it so they don't have to'. Guilt blooms in my chest, I thought it was so easy I thought they could do better but now I understand the pressure of all these people relying on me. I wish Bellamy was here.
As I walk down the corridor I hear shouting in trigedasleng and english, all the clans don't get along, Azgeda are ruthless, trikru are stubborn and skikru are outsiders, even though I announced us as being wonkru, all of us united they still argue, there is still mistrust.
I hurry towards the ruckus taking a sharp turn I see the problem immediately, they're fighting over supplies and living quarters. I narrow my eyes as I imitate Bellamy's tone "Yu laik Wonkru osir hogeda laik, we are all wonkru". They look ashamed, I carry on in english, "We live together, we share and we don't fight, you are wonkru or the enemy of wonkru" they are silent. A hand touches my shoulder, I almost recoil violently but I try to remain indifferent, Kane speaks "We can all survive but we need to share, we need to get along".
Some former grounders sneer in distaste but a sharp look from ne makes them lower their heads, they may fear me but they don't fully respect me even though I killed for them to live, I killed Illian and so many more, I have so much blood on my hands. I vaguely hear Indra and Kane speaking to the people who were fighting as I think of all the blood I've spilt, all the people I've killed in the blinding rage that clouded me ever since Lincoln died.
Abby
I make my way to the bunker office, hoping desperately to hear Clarke's voice, to confirm she is alive and that it wasn't a desperate mothers dream. The room is silent, Miller is resting on an armchair, he's been up all night waiting for the ark to respond, they haven't and Octavia must be devastated.
Picking up the receiver I stare at it, Clarke can't properly hear us and it'll take a while to sort everone out and find a half decent mechanic.
A sudden unlikely thought appears, radios flicker between static and silence when trying to speak, what if we use it as morse code until we can get someone to fix the radio. I drop the receiver as I rush to find Marcus, he took Earth skills, he should at least remember some morse code and I know my daughter would know it, Pike always boasted about her skills in school, about her being his best student.
Marcus is talking to a group of people with Indra at his side, Octavia is stood behind them, she looks confused and heartbroken, walking up to her I place a hand on her shoulder, she flinches as her eyes focus "Don't show weakness infront of them" I whisper "If you show weakness they'll rebel and we'd have no order". Her eyes harden as she puts a mask up, nodding curtly at me.
Smiling at her briefly, I then turn to Marcus after he's finished speaking, I then tell him my idea, he says it may work.
This story is kind of taking up all my attention compared to the others, I just like the plan I have in mind and want to get to it as soon as possible. As you can guess by this chapter Clarke and the bunker can't communicate yet, but they will, it'll just take some time.Love you all Liya xx