Chapter Six:
Daredevils
Papyrus giggled as his Gaster Blaster swirled around him. His father glared at him, stepping around the baby bones who apparently didn't care that he was blocking the doorway and hall.
"Nyeh heh hee! Gasta!"
"Yes?"
"Not you, stink head!"
Gaster's frown deepened.
"hey bro, maybe you shouldn't play with that thing, it's not exactly a toy…or safe," said Sans scratching behind his head nervously.
"MINE!"
"Forget it Sans. Papyrus is going to do whatever Papyrus wants. BECAUSE HE'S A SELFISH INGRATE!"
"You can kiss my tiny hiney! Dis' MY baster…"
"*Sigh* Just be quiet until I'm done working, please?"
BLOOSH!
Papyrus immediately fired his blaster, accidently destroying Sans' pun book that Gaster had bought for him after being threatened by Papyrus.
"bro what the hell?!"
"Dat book be stupid anyway-"
"IT WAS MINE!"
"It still suck dough..."
Sans lunged at Papyrus, attempted to strangle him.
"NYEHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"I asked you two to be quiet."
"HE TWRY TO KILL DA' BABY!"
"IT WAS MY BOOK!"
"HE CWAZY DADDY! SAVE DA' BABY!"
"AIN'T NOBODY HELPING YOU!"
Using his magic, Gaster lifted both boys into the air, separating them in hopes that they'd quiet down.
"NYEH HEE HEE!" Papyrus laughed cheerfully as he spun around in the air holding his toes.
"you know dad's eventually gonna get tired and i'm gonna destroy you right?"
"Don't threaten your brother Sans."
"Like I astroyed your stupid pun book?"
"Knock it off Papyrus."
"yeah bro, if you don't be good imma sell you to grillby. imma sell you to grillby and he's gonna chop off all your little fingers and serve them to all the monsters as finger food…"
"And you'd be da' first in line to eats em' I aspect. Baby thinks Gillby'd like YOUR fingers cause' they be fatter-"
"Both of you. Shut up."
"I sells you to Gillby and I buys food for everyone so they can finally eats!"said Papyrus smiling and spreading his arms out wide.
"i wouldn't be able to afford a NICE CREAM with the amount of money i'd get for YOU."
Gaster put a hand over his face.
"Good thing yous prositute then huh?"
"….."
"hey dad what's a prostitute?"
"Don't worry about it."
"why?!" asked Sans. "what did he call me?! what did this fugly little jack o' lantern call me?!"
"Sans-"
"I calls you albino jiggly-puff!" Papyrus shook his rear at his brother.
"DAD!"
"Shut up Sans…"
"NYEHEE HEE HEE!"
"SHUT UP PAPYRUS."
"i'm flushing your blocks down the toilet!"
"I don't gots no blocks!"
"THEN I'M FLUSHING YOUR CHEESE."
"NOO! DAT'S MY CHEEEEESE!"
"Do I need to get out the chloroform?!"
"Give SNAS the sleepy water! He da' one being bad! HE AFTER MAH CHEESE!"
"IT'S SANS, AND YOUR BLOCKS AREN'T CHEESE IDIOT!"
"IIII HATES YOOOOOOOUU!"
"THAT'S IT! I'M GETTING THE CHLOROFORM!"
The two boys kicked at the air. "NOOOOOOOOO!"
Gaster dropped the two Fonts on the floor and went out into the hall.
"this is all YOUR fault..."
"HE'LL NEVER TAKES DA' BABY ALIVE!" Papyrus summoned and lowered his Gaster Blaster, climbing on top. "HI-HO SILVER! AWAAAAY!"
"PAPYRUS NO!"
BLOOSH!
"NYEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!"
The blaster fired sending Papyrus zooming down the hallway getting higher and higher into the air.
"BRO!"
"NYEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Sans ran after his baby brother catching up with him just in time as Papyrus's grip failed and he was sent plummeting to the ground.
"SAVE DA' BABY!"
"HAH!"Sans jumped and caught his brother before he was able to smash his skull on the tile floor. He slid on his arms that were thankfully covered by his puffy blue jacket and quickly came to a halt as the blaster smashed through a wall.
"Tank you Sans. I appeciate you saving the baby."
"freakin' dumbass! what the hell were you trying to do?!"
Papyrus pointed to the broken wall that led out into Hotland. "Look Buther, feedom…"
"YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE?!"
"No." Papyrus crawled towards the hole.
"whoa wait pappy that's all lava!"
"No it isn't! There be a ledge wight..here," said Papyrus climbing outside.
Sans looked out and found he was right. There was a small ledge big enough for a baby bones to crawl on that led around one side of the lab.
How'd he know that was there?
"I go to da' store. What you want?"
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
"you don't have any money."
"I gots my baster…"
"DON'T YOU DARE ROB THAT STORE YOUNG MAN!"
"You wants sometin too? Let me guess…is a dwink right?"
"YOU ARE THE REASON THAT I DRINK!"
"can i get some cinnabuns…?"
"Yeah-"
"NO! SANS DO NOT ENCOURAGE THIS BEHAVIOR!"
"I gets cinnabuns and alkyhall for da' schmuck." Papyrus turned around.
"DON'T YOU DARE!"
Papyrus crawled away.
"PAPYRUS!"
"see ya' later baby bro!" said Sans waving.
"Go get him. NOW."
"tch, fine...you're missing out on a free drink though..."
Gaster glared at Sans as the small skeleton left the Lab through the entry door.
Cinnabuns are at Snowdin, but Pap's isn't THAT fast so...
Teleporting to Waterfall, he immediately found his brother and someone else he'd never met before, they looked to be some kind of fish monster with a missing eye. Picking up his baby brother, Sans placed Papyrus on top of his skull, wondering why the two were glowering at one another.
Papyrus was the first to speak, pointing at the fish monster girl."You know I'll fuck you up, right?"
"PAPYRUS!"
"I wish you'd try PUNK! I'm the Unstoppable Undyne, and you WILL be brought to justice!" A tiny Undyne glared at the baby bones atop of Sans' head angrily. She had wanted a rematch against the baby for quite some time now, but he was being a brat at the moment.
"Well I wish you go way! Baby don't got time for scrubs!"
"SCRUBS?! Sans you better get your brother…"
Yeah, like he'll listen to me…oh hey she knows me!
"And yous better get going for' you lose another eye!"
"Y-You won't win THIS time dweeb!" said Undyne her voice shaking slightly.
Sans mouth fell open. "bro, did you blind her?!"
"No, she still gots her other eye, but dat's gonna change if she don't get out mah FACE!"
Whoa..no way…
"I'm gonna mess up your face!"
"I wish you would!"
"I will!"
"DO SOMETIN'!"
"I'M GONNA!"
"let's all just go get something to eat instead huh? my treat, we can get to know each other a little better."
"DON'T FLIRT WITH ME SKELETON!"
What?!
"We's in Wadderfall anyways. They only lets dogs in Snowdin shops-"
"SCREW YOU PAPYRUS!"
Papyrus cupped his tiny hands around his mouth. "*ARF!* *ARF!* *ARF!*"
"YAAAAAHHHH!" Undyne charged the baby, spear drawn.
Oh crap…!
Sans ducked down waiting to feel the sharp end of the spear, but it never came. Opening his eyes he saw an old turtle clutching the shaft, Undyne struggling to pull her weapon out of his grasp.
"Whoa there! Wahaha! Let's settle down a little eh? Don't want anybody to get hurt now do we?"
"Yes."
"PAPYRUS! i'm so sorry-"
"Oh it's no big deal. Papyrus and I know each other very well, don't we?"
Sans looked up at his baby brother. Just how many people did Papyrus get to know during his sneak out nights?
"No."
"Wahaha! Yer' probably the most adorable lil' guy in the Underground ain't cha? Ya' got a lil' bit of a fighter in you too! Though that's to be expected-"
"GIMME MY SPEAR!"
Gerson handed Undyne her spear, much to her surprise. "Here ya' go missy. Don't be using it against no babies though, that ain't heroic. Pappy doesn't know any better, but YOU do-"
"ARGH! WHATEVER! I'M OUTTA HERE! Stupid baby…" Undyne stormed back home, disappointed, she came for a fight, not a lecture…
"thanks," said Sans letting out a sigh of relief.
"No problem kid, my name's Gerson! Stop on by my shop if you need anything, It's right here in Waterfall!" Gerson turned to leave and looked back at Papyrus. "Stay outta trouble okay rugrat? Your big brother's nice enough to take you out when you're not supposed to be, least' you could do is be good for em'."
"EERRRRRNNNNN!"
"bye mister gerson!" Sans waved goodbye smiling happily.
He was so nice!
The old turtle waved back and disappeared around a corner, leaving the brothers alone.
"You still buy baby dinner?" asked Papyrus in a small voice.
"i doubt gerson sells anything we can call dinner, but he might have a few snacks…"
"I wants dinner! You said!"
"i said we'd get something to EAT, i didn't say it's be dinner…"
"You's cheap," said Papyrus sticking a finger up his nose.
"where am i gonna buy you dinner pappy? the resort? that place is expensive!"
"You's a bad date!"
"i'm not your date!"
"You take baby out dough…"
"this isn't a date!" exclaimed Sans, embarrassed.
"Not no more, I's leaving-"
"FINE! enjoy the trip back home!"
"I WILLS CAUSE' YOU WON'T BE DARE!" Papyrus slid down his brother's skull and used his wingdings to place himself safely on the ground. "HAVE FUN FINDING YO' WAY BACK STINK BUTHER!"
"I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO GET BACK! I CAN TELEPORT YA' LITTLE SHIT!"
Papyrus stuck his tongue out and crawled away.
Friggen' asshole!
The kid comedian kicked a stone glaring in the direction Papyrus had crawled off to. After a few moments he stuck his hands in his pockets and followed suit.
I hate making promises…