Chapter Eight:
Mischief Maker
"okay bro how does this thing work?" asked Sans, still feeling sleepy.
Papyrus picked up one of his yellow blocks. "See dis cheese Snas? This cheese be square so it don't go in the circle hole, but the other one be a circle-"
"Zzz…"
"SNAS!"
"HAH! uh, um…ye-yeah…?"
"You sweep during da' baby's esplanation! I pay with dis stupid toy so I gets the paise! You's apose' to paise the baby's genius!"
"i already know you're a genius bro…"
"DON'T PATRANIZE DA' BABY! YOU WATCH OR I'S GONNA CRY!"
"i'm watching lil' *yawn* lil' bro…"
"NO! You's lying! I knows it!"
"Zzz…"
"SNAS!"
"Zzz…"
"ERRRRRNNNNNN!"
Papyrus stormed over to the movie shelf and picked out the movie he had wanted to see the other day and forgotten about...or rather what he wanted SANS to see.
"GET DA' FUK UP!"
The sleeping skeleton jolted awake and grinned sheepishly at his little brother. "s-sorry..."
"We watching dis. You stays awake or there be consequences."
"that's a big word, congrats pap!"
Papyrus put the movie in.
Damn, he's really mad at me isn't he?
"Dis movie be scary so if you don't gots da' meatballs-"
"pff, hit play," said Sans annoyed. He hated it when Papyrus acted like he thought he was scared of stupid things just because he wasn't a Horror.
It's just a movie, I'm not gonna cry over a FILM.
A few minutes later...
"Ugh, oh god…!" Sans winced as he watched a human woman lifting weights scream while having her arms slowly broken.
"Nyeh heh hee hee hee!"
The kid comedian cringed and made other kinds of faces he never knew a skeleton could make.
He had promised to spend the day watching movies with Papyrus, but he didn't know those movies had been specially selected and found at the dump by his "sweet" little bro.
I thought he only liked books!
"You can check in, but you can't check out!" The evil freakthat had caused the woman's demise smiled cruelly after crushing a roach hotel containing her…or what was left of her.
He had turned the human into a grotesque roach.
"why do you watch this crap?!"
"You don't likes it?"
"NO! it's gross!"
"I thinks he funny…" said Papyrus grabbing his toes.
"this is your idea of comedy?!" Sans shut his eyes tight as a woman was force-fed innards from a doll that looked just like her.
"I's sorry I gots good taste…"
"you shouldn't be watching stuff like this and neither should i!"
"You needs it," said Papyrus glaring at the screen.
"why?! so i can turn into a twisted deranged freak like you?!"
"No, so you quit sweeping all da' time."
"i'll sleep whenever i want!"
"Not after tonight…"
The movie continued to play and sing the song that was apparently the movie series' friggen' trademark…
"One two, Freddy's coming for you…"
Papyrus got bored after Sans decided to cover his face with his hands.
"uhh, pappy? why are you biting me?"
Papyrus took his mouth from Sans' arm. "I losted my gaga yeserday," said the baby bones sadly.
"your what?"
"My sucky thing! I needs it for my widdle toothies!" Papyrus pointed to his teeth and went back to nibbling on Sans' arm.
"are you talking about your pacifier?"
"Yemph!"
"if i help you find it, will you stop biting me?"
Papyrus lifted his head again. "I appose'. You tastes weird anyways."
"oh yeah? what do i taste like pappy?"
"Neglect…sadness…shattered hopes, boken dweams," Papyrus clicked his tongue. "And a small hint of despair."
"….."
"You tastes like the homeless big Buther."
"is that right? c'mere you!"
"NYEH HEE HEE HEE!"
Sans chased Papyrus into the chemistry place and scooped him up, ticking his tiny belly. "NYEH HEH HA HA HA HA!"
"you bad baby, why you always so bad hm? why you always so bad?" He held Papyrus out in front of him smiling and planting kisses on his skull.
"SSSS-" The baby bones hissed and stuck his tongue out.
"watcha' doing little bro?"
"I's not widdle bro, I's a baby snake!"
Are we playing pretend now?
"a baby snake huh? oh no!"
"Nyeh heh heh! I's gonna bite yoooous!"
"why do you wanna bite me for? hm? why do you wanna bite me for?" said Sans tickling his baby brother again.
"NYEH HEE HEE HA HA!"
"PAPYRUS!"
"uh oh..i think dad waaants youuu..."
"PAPYRUS GET IN HERE!"
"I don't gots a Daddy, I's a baby snake."
"WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP TRYING TO PICK THESE UP WITHOUT GLOVES?!"
Why do you even HAVE exploding snakes in the Lab Dad? What's the point of that? What are they FOR?
"SSSS…"
"you released the snakes again didn't you?" said Sans putting Papyrus down.
How did he even manage that?! Dad put a freaking Royal Guard there around the containment unit after last time!
"Join us Snas!"
"it's sans…also no."
"Join the baby snake on the floor!"
"i'm not crawling around on this dirty floor. it's probably covered in more chemicals than an cocaine addict-"
"If you're not with us, you're against us big Buther…"
BOOOM!
A loud explosion shook the Lab, startling Sans.
"i thought you didn't have a big brother?"
"WHERE IS THAT LITTLE DEMON?!"
"SSSS!" Papyrus slithered around on the floor using his ribs…it was creepy but also rather impressive.
BANG!
"WHERE IS HE?!" screamed Gaster throwing open the door, that startled Sans too.
"SSSS!"
"There you are you little SHIT!"
"careful dad, that's a baby snake. heh heh heh…"
"It's too! I's a baby snake and I gots da' poison…"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I'M IN THE MOOD FOR GAMES RIGHT-AH! WHAT THE HELL?!" Gaster grabbed his ankle as Papyrus pulled the syringe he had stabbed him with out of it.
"whoa."
"NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!"
"WHAT DID YOU JUST INJECT ME WITH?!"
"I told-did you I be poison…cause' I's a baby snake!"
TH-THUMP!
Gaster fell to the floor unconscious.
"NYEH HEE HEE! Now DADDY'S a snake!"
"i think he's dead actually," said Sans kicking his father lightly.
"Join us big Buther!"
Sans shook his head. "i just told you bro-"
"Join us or you're against us!"
Sans lay down on the floor.
"SSSS!"
"hey bro you know what we should do instead on rolling around in filth? let's draw on dad!"
"YAAAY! I GET'S TO USE DA' MARKERS!"
Sans got up and collected the markers Gaster had hidden away from Papyrus, handing them to his baby brother. "okay bro, draw something pretty!"
Papyrus drew a penis.
"..."
"Is sgetti and meatballs!" lied Papyrus, throwing his hands up in the air.
"is that what that is?" Sans looked at his baby brother skeptically. He didn't believe him for a second.
"Yep! I likes da' sgetti!"
"spaghetti's a little thick ain't it?"
"I's just a baby Snas, I can't bweak da' noodles..."
He is gonna grow up to be a total asshat isn't he?
"We takes pictures?"
Yep.
"how about i just take YOUR picture pappy? so we don't get in trouble?" Sans reached into his pockets. "hold on lemme get out my phone..."
Papyrus smiled and stuck his tongue out.
"okay br-pap? where'd you go bro?"
Papyrus had wandered off to a corner of the room and was staring at the Lab wall.
"over here pappy!"
Papyrus looked around seemingly confused.
"papyyyrus! hee hee hee!"
He's so cute...
Spotting Sans, Papyrus waved and turned back around to stare at the wall.
"paaaaappy! look over here pappy!"
"…."
"seriously papyrus?"
"Nyeh?" The baby bones turned around. "What you want?"
"i wanna take your picture bro! you won't stay a baby forever you know."
"Yes I will…I's gonna be widdle forever!"
"heh heh, I don't think so pappy. you're already getting big!"
Papyrus frowned at the wall. "You's fat…"
"i meant tall bro-"
"You looks like an egg!"
"pappy listen-"
"A BIG STUPID EGG WITH A STINK FACE!"
"imma tell dad if you don't be nice."
"You's not nice to da' baby!"
Sans rolled his eyes. "i meant you were getting taller, not fatter."
"Oh." Papyrus turned to smile at the wall again.
"*sigh*"
Guess I'm taking another pic of him smiling at the wall…
CLICK!
"alright-"
"You's getting fatter big Buther."
"…"
"Uhh...oh.." Gaster groaned as he began to sit up. Whatever was in that syringe had luckily only put him to sleep for awhile...a couple minutes actually. He sighed realizing that he had been injected with the Babylizer, a small tranquilizer he specifically made to put Papyrus to sleep without killing him through overdose. It was a failure and he had thrown it in the trash where he guessed Papyrus had found it.
Damn little raccoon gets into everything...
"psst! bro! over here!" Sans waved his brother over and the baby followed, they snuck out the door and ran away from the Lab as quickly as they could.
They could hear Gaster screaming Papyrus's name all the way in Snowdin.
"ho-hold on pap. *huff*" Sans stopped to catch his breath, but Papyrus kept going, waddling through the snow on his legs. He preferred crawling, but the snow was too deep for that, so he headed off to an area that had less snow...which was in the woods.
"BRO! PAPYRUS WHERE ARE YOU?!" Stumbling through the woods, Sans searched for the tiny baby bones. He was only two years old, but he already had a lot of enemies...people who would try and hurt his baby brother.
"PAPPYYYY!" Yelling his brother's name at the top of his lungs, Sans stopped and sat on a stump to rest.
"YAHN!" Without warning something fell from the trees with a loud cry and landed on Sans face, hugging it.
Something that felt a lot like a baby skeleton.
"bro what the hell?! i was worried about y-what is that?"
"Is clearly a stick big Buther," said Papyrus looking at nothing. "A marshmallow stick."
Sans pulled Papyrus off his face and held him out in front of him. "did you set someone's house on fire?!"
"No."
"liar! where is it?!"
"There's no house I swears!"
Sans looked up into the sky but the falling snow either obscured his vision, or Papyrus was telling the truth, because he couldn't see a wisp of smoke.
"how are you gonna roast marshmallows without a fi-DON'T YOU START ANY FIRES PAPYRUS!"
"I's already gots a fire…"
"then where is it?"
"Gillby's."
Sans put papyrus down. "don't-don't use grillby to cook marshmallows pappy…" he said, pinching the space between his eyes.
"You can't stops me…" replied Papyrus still smiling and holding his stick.
"i'll tell dad!"
"baby don't cares, go ahead and be a snitch bitch, I'll have ates a marshmallow before he gets here-"
"i'm telling him your cursing too!"
Papyrus began to walk away. "Bye-bye big Buther! I was GONNA ivite you to join da' baby, but you clearly doesn't want any…"
"i want marshmallows…" said Sans in a small voice.
Papyrus handed Sans the stick. "Dis your stick, I already gots mine."
"thank you…but i don't wanna get in trouble…"
"You won't, I make him quiet forever!"
"what…?"
"I says he can't talk no mores and now he doesn't! He not gonna say anything…"
"…..are you sure?"
What's he talking about?
Papyrus closed his eyes smiling and tilted his head, rocking on his heels.
"Would I lie to you?"