Author's note –

This is my first time writing anything ever so please go easy on the feedback

Disclaimer – I do not own the masterpiece that is Gintama. Sadly.

Kagura sprinted toward the Shinsengumi headquarters, avoiding the debris and the dead bodies lying on the road. Despite the thundering clouds in the sky, the full moon illuminated the night. Together with the silent streets, they cast an ominous aura that made Kagura's hair stand on end. Kagura wasn't superstitious but she firmly believed in instincts. Instincts that had led her to Earth. Instincts that had made her stay with Gin-chan. Instincts that had helped her win her battles. And now, it was those instincts that were telling her something was horribly, horribly wrong. She could feel it in her thundering heartbeat, her churning gut, her chaotic mind, and in every cell of her body that was reacting to the signals her brain was currently sending.

Wrong wrong wrong.
Run run run.
Faster faster faster.

Her mind wouldn't stop coming up with worst-case scenarios. Was it Gin-chan? Shinpachi? Anego? Was it…no way, not him.

She knew that the war with Utsuro wasn't going to come without any losses. But her mind, afraid of the hurt and the anguish, hadn't even entertained such a future. Kagura was no stranger to loss. She'd lost her mami to death and her papi and Kamui to strength. But experiencing loss once, twice, or even thrice, didn't mean the fourth time was going to be any easier. Despite being armed with the knowledge that things get better with time and all wounds heal and all that crockshit, the heart still hurt.

Realizing that her thoughts had constrained her breathing, she shook her head, as if to physically brush aside her worries, and increased her pace. She was heavily injured in many places with multiples cuts, bruised ribs, and even a few broken bones but she felt no pain. Thank you, adrenaline.

When the headquarters was finally in sight, her eyes roamed over the group huddled near one of the shoji doors. The knots in her stomach eased slightly after catching sight of a familiar blue-white kimono. Gin-chan. Thank you, god. As she got closer, she recognized Shinpachi and Anego standing off to the side. Kagura let out a relieved sigh before looking around for a certain blond head. But all she could see were injured Shinsengumi men.

In her haste, Kagura had missed the solemn atmosphere, and upon reaching the entrance, she called out to Gintoki. 'Gin-chan!'

She saw his head jerk up and as she made her way to him, she saw his lips move, but no sound came out. Overcome with emotion, she gave him a tight hug, pulling back before he had a chance to reciprocate.

'Are you okay? Is everyone okay? I had a really bad feeling so I ran all the way here. Why are you here? Why is everyone here? But more importantly, is everyone okay?' After getting all her questions out, Kagura was panting and had to bend at her knees to ease the tightness in her chest. She couldn't help but feel that something was still terribly wrong. Her worry had eased knowing that her close people were okay but her chest still hurt. And it wasn't because of running.

'Kagura...' She looked up at Gintoki's voice and saw him looking at her with eyes that looked serious and worried. It was quite the expression for someone whose eyes usually resembled a dead fish's.

'Gin-chan?' Straightening, Kagura looked around and noticed the people around her. Shinpachi and Anego were looking at her with worry. The Shinsengumi members that she had assumed were resting because they were injured were slumped against the floor, their expressions reflecting disbelief, pain, and grief. She had seen that expression before. Hell, she had worn that expression before.

'What is..?' Kagura tried to figure out what was going on before her eyes latched on to the shoji door. Before she knew it, her feet had taken her to the door and she was opening it, ignoring the calls of Gintoki.

Kagura didn't think it was possible but she felt her heart stop for at least five seconds. Even when it did start back up, her heartbeat was the only thing she could her. She felt like she was underwater, not getting enough air. Before her, on a tatami mat, was the sadist. But she didn't quite believe her eyes because this wasn't the sadist she knew. In fact, she was sure that this wasn't the sadist that anybody knew. The broken and bloody body lying there, as if lifeless…lifeless?

Kagura snapped out of her daze and rushed toward him, ignoring the gorilla who was tearing up from every orifice and the Mayo-addict who looked like he was trying his hardest to hold back his tears and failing.

She didn't think; upon reaching the sadist, she fell to her knees, leaned over his face, grabbed his collar with both her hands, and yelled 'OI! What the hell is wrong with you? WAKE UP!'

At her outburst, Gintoki and everybody who had been outside rushed in, surprise painting their faces. The gorilla started crying even harder and the Mayora lowered his head till it was almost touching the floor.

Kagura didn't look back to see the looks of sympathy that she was receiving. She merely tightened her grip and lifted his head slightly to shake him awake. But his head simply lolled backward, his face as expressionless as ever. Not one to give up, she released one of her hands and slapped him.

'I'm the one that plays the pranks here. Don't you go copying me. At least you could've done something original, sadist. Or are you just that stupid that you can't even come up with something on your own?' Kagura's voice didn't tremble but her hands did. Her throat didn't close up with tears but with a ball of grief that made breathing impossible. Her eyes were dry but she was sure that the pain in her chest was her heart crying.

When she went to slap him again, a hand on her shoulder stopped her. But she simply brushed it off without looking away.

This time, she didn't slap him but simply held on to his collar again, letting his head drop to the floor.

'I know you're a sadist and you enjoy seeing others in pain but this is going a little too far even for you, don't you think?' Frustrated with the lack of response, she hit him in the chest. 'What the fuck are you lazing around for? We've got a score to settle! It's currently 416-414, in my favor. Are you sure you want to remain a loser, loser?'

She could hear Gintoki and Anego call out to her but she paid them no heed. She couldn't think of anything else right now. To her, it felt like she had to correct the world somehow. It felt necessary and urgent and she was desperate to do it. Because a world in which Okita Sougo lay broken, bloody, and defeated was a world where Gin-chan paid her salary and Hijikata hated mayonnaise and Kondo was a man and glasses didn't wear Shinpachi and Anego was a chef. It was a world that was wrong. It wasn't her world. It wasn't a world where she belonged. It wasn't her home. And right now, Kagura wanted her home back. She needed it back.

With her emotions overwhelming her once more, she hit his chest harder, once, twice, thrice, cursing and yelling at him with every thump.

Chihuahua. Bakaiser. Super sadist.

'Arrrrrrgh. OKITA SOUGO! Wake. The. Fuck. Up!' Kagura panted as she finished screaming in his face.

Staring at his face, she was sure she was hallucinating when she saw his eyelid twitch. Maybe she wanted it to happen so much that she was seeing things? This isn't a movie after all. But when it happened a second time, she quickly started patting his cheek. 'Sadist? Oi. Hang in there.'

The rest of them must have heard the hope in her voice because they quickly looked up and gathered around. Kondo and Hijikata were calling out to Sougo while the rest of the Shinsengumi members were shouting at the tiny movements they could see their captain make. It was chaos.

A few seconds later, two other Shinsengumi members rushed into the room but they were wearing a slightly different uniform. The resident medics. Since the civilians had evacuated to Yoshiwara, all the Edo hospitals were non-operational. The sadist would have to be treated by the doctors that the Shinsengumi had. Even though they didn't have all the equipment, they were pretty adept at traditional methods and would be able to treat him thanks to his 'miraculous recovery'.

As they got to work, bandaging his wounds, putting his arm in a cast, and covering his mouth with an oxygen pump, Kagura escaped the room unnoticed.

What do you think? Constructive criticism is not only welcome but encouraged!