Author's note –

These characters aren't my creation but this story is.

Kagura speed-walked out of the compound and broke into a run once she was out on the streets. She ran aimlessly, paying no attention to her surroundings. A few hundred meters away, she found an old abandoned shed. Rounding the back of it, she leaned against the wall, sliding down to the ground as her legs weakened. She stared straight ahead, thinking nothing and thinking everything. It was as if her mind had blanked but she was feeling a ton of emotions and the chaos didn't make any sense. She brought her shaking hands to her face as she tried to breathe normally. But her lungs wouldn't cooperate and every inhale took thrice the effort and every exhale needed prompting. When she realized she was hyperventilating, she put her head between her bent knees and focused only on the air passing through her nose and mouth. A few minutes later, her breathing was slightly under control but her chest still felt heavy so she grabbed her qipao right above her heart, wishing she could do the same with the aching organ. When that didn't help, she screamed. And that did help. So she did it over and over and over again. She screamed until she couldn't. Until her throat felt raw and she threw up blood. And it was as if her scream had shattered the wall that had kept her tears at bay. As if her body had given her mind permission to let it out.

As her tears fell down her cheeks in a seemingly never-ending stream, she finally allowed herself to sort through the mess of emotions she was feeling. On some level of her conscious, she had always known that she liked the sadist. It was evident in the way she was always looking for him, even if it was to start a fight, how she felt slightly disappointed when he didn't show up for their routinely unspoken sparring matches, and how exchanging insults and blows with him made her day feel complete. She had become aware of her emotions in the last couple of years and had brushed them off as a passing crush. After all, she was in her precarious teen years and believed her fickle heart had latched on to the first semi-attractive (okay, insanely attractive) guy she'd come across. She had always respected him, both as a warrior and as a person. She admired not only his fighting skills but who he was on the battlefield. A samurai through and through. After countless battles where they'd fought side by side, putting their lives in each other's hands, she'd come to consider him a comrade on the battlefield and a frenemy outside of it.

However, what Kagura hadn't realized, until today, was the depth of her emotions. This was no normal crush. The fear she had felt at living a life without him had paralyzed her. When she thought of what life would look like without him in it, she'd drawn a blank. All the moments she spent with him in her day, all the time she spent thinking of him, talking about him, had faded into black. Without him, her life looked desolate and grey. And rationally, Kagura knew that it wouldn't be like that forever and she would move on. But therein lay the problem. She didn't want to move on. She didn't want a life without him. She wanted their fights, their insult exchanges, the meals he usually treated her to, the rare civil exchanges, and the rarer bonding sessions. She wanted it all and then some.

Kagura sighed. There was no helping it. She knew that having realized the gravity of her feelings was going to make things really difficult but it wasn't as if she could change her mind. She would just have to deal with it later. She let out another deep sigh and curled herself up in a ball. Her physical wounds had almost healed but the exhaustion from the fight and the mental trauma was setting in and she felt ready to collapse. She wanted to check in on the sadist once more but knew she would do no good if she were to go there in such a condition. She decided to close her eyes for a few minutes and before she knew it, she had passed out.

When Kagura woke up, she found herself in a dark and small space. It took her a few minutes to adjust her eyes to the surroundings and she realized that she was in her room at Yorouzya. She stretched her arms as she yawned and the action made her throat and entire body hurt, reminding her of the events that had transpired. She jerked herself up and slammed the door open, worrying over what had become of the sadist.

Rushing into the living room that also served as their office, she saw Gintoki lying on the couch reading JUMP. She could also hear the sound of clanking utensils, telling her that Shinpachi was making lunch. Or dinner. She had no idea what day or time it was. The scene was so much like their usual domestic routine, she wondered if everything had been just a dream. But when Gintoki looked at her and his expression softened, she knew it had been real. All of it.

'Gin-chan – '

'He's okay. They've finished treating him and he's recovering well.' Gintoki provided.

'Oh.' Her throat was still sore so her voice came out soft and scratchy. Relief had made her knees weak and she somehow made it to the couch and slumped down. She inhaled, feeling as if she was tasting air for the first time in forever. The weight on her chest eased and her heart didn't feel like it was being squeezed by a giant hand. Sadaharu, who had walked over to her, nuzzled her thigh and rested his head in her lap. She softly petted his head, trying to keep her tears of relief in check.

'Ah! Kagura-chan! Good morning! Are you okay? Here, have some water. Please don't run away like that again. You scared us. Are you hungry? Do you hurt somewhere?' Shinpachi had entered the room and upon seeing her, his mom-mode had been activated.

Kagura let him fuss over her for about two minutes before it became annoying. But before she could slap him, Gintoki interrupted.

'Leave her alone, Shinpachi.' Gintoki didn't bother looking up from his JUMP as he called out in his monotone voice.

'But Gin-san, Kagura-chan is injured. And she's a girl, you know. You should be treating her with more care. Besides, she hasn't eaten for two days and she looks..' Shinpachi was sending her worried glances. As if on cue, her stomach rumbled loud enough to shake the walls. Even Sadaharu was startled and backed away from her a few inches.

'Ah. Shinpachi, food.' Kagura demanded in a dry tone.

'See, Shinpachi? She's completely normal. Any injuries she had are already healed, I'm sure. And she's not a girl, she's a gorilla, like your sister. Why do you think they get along so well? Their kind doesn't need – ' Gintoki was cut off when the coffee table Kagura had thrown hit him in the face and broke in half.

'Who the hell are you calling a gorilla? I'm a beautiful young woman!'

'Aneue isn't a gorilla! Just because she's being stalked by one doesn't make her one as well!'

'Aaaaah, my face! My precious face!'

'Oi, Megane, get me 20..no, 30 bowls of rice!'

'Who the hell are you calling a megane? And what's with that change of attitude?'

'Aaah, my face is destroyed. Now Gin-san won't get any girls! Gin-san will die a virgin!'

'No, that was going to happen anyway. With or without the damage to your face.' Shinpachi and Kagura intoned at the same time.

Their banter continued for some more time and Kagura was relieved to know that things had gone back to normal. Well, almost.

After brushing her teeth for a solid 15 minutes, she took a long hot shower to get the dirt, vomit, and blood off her. Her wounds had healed completely but her body was still slightly sore. Donning on her usual red qipao, she dried her hair and opted to leave it open, too tired to put it in her usual buns.

Entering the living room, she saw that Shinpachi had laid out the rice cooker and her eggs on the table. Without wasting any time, she quickly sat down and started devouring her food, ignoring Shinpachi's warning of 'slow down, Kagura-chan, eating too fast will give you a stomach-ache'.

When she was on her 5th bowl, it occurred to her that she had no recollection of how she had gotten home. When she asked the duo the question, Shinpachi was the one who answered.

'We were really scared, you know. We couldn't find you anywhere and we had been searching for over 30 minutes. Finally, Gin-san thought to check the shed and found you lying on the floor. He was the one who carried you back here.' She was pretty sure that she had been in a pathetic state, covered in her tears, vomit, and blood. She made a mental note to buy Gin-chan some strawberry milk.

'You're really heavy, you know? I'm deducting two months of your salary for the inconvenience you caused me.' Gintoki drawled and she scratched off her mental note.

'Gin-san, you've never paid us. In fact, you owe us like 5 years worth of salary.' Shinpachi reminded their employer but said employer decided to ignore the statement and pretended to snore.

Kagura wolfed down the rest of her meal to the background noise of Shinpachi yelling at Gintoki. Once done, she grabbed her umbrella, shouted out an 'I'm going out', and headed toward her destination: the Shinsengumi compound.

Sougo will make his appearance in the next one. I hope you stay tuned!