Author's Note –

I have no idea if this is OOC for these two! What do you think?

Also, I do not own Gintama.

Kagura wanted to check on the sadist but now that she was closer to facing him, she was chickening out. Since she had realized the intensity of her feelings, she wasn't sure how she would react when faced with him. She knew she wasn't going to act on her feelings anytime soon, maybe never, but she was afraid her expressive face might give her away. She decided to just go there, see how he was doing (hopefully he was sleeping), and leave. No muss no fuss.

As she reached the entrance, the Shinsengumi members standing guard looked at her, their expressions revealing surprise first and then happiness.

'Ah, China-san! Welcome! Are you here to visit Okita-taichou?' One of them asked while smiling at her.

A little creeped out by the warm welcome (they mostly ignored her since they feared she would crush them if they annoyed her) she struggled to maintain her expression and replied. 'Yeah. Where is he?'

Eagerly, the other member answered. 'Okita-taichou is resting in his room. It's the third door on the right.' She was about to walk toward the sadist's room, when the man spoke again. 'Also, China-san, we just wanted to say thank you. The Shinsengumi is really grateful for what you did and we are in your debt. Please don't hesitate to tell us if you ever need any help.'

'Thank me? Why?'

'It was because of you that we have Okita-taichou with us. We had all given up and if it wasn't for you..' He trailed off.

Kagura raised an eyebrow at that. 'Oi. Do you even know your captain? That sadist wouldn't die so easily. I didn't do anything. He probably crawled back from hell when he realized he hadn't killed that mayo-addict.' With a parting wave, she left the members stupefied and a little awe-struck. She couldn't believe that these people were thinking that the sadist's…recovery or whatever was because of her. I guess, idiots will be idiots, after all.

Upon reaching his door, she took a deep breath and slowly slid it open so as to not make any noise. He was lying on a futon that was placed in the middle of the room. The blanket only covered him to his waist and his torso was completely covered in bandages. His left arm was still in a cast and lying on his stomach. There was also a bandage wrapped around his forehead. His face had some minor cuts but the color had returned to his cheeks. Since he was sleeping, Kagura debated whether or not to enter the room. From what she could see, he seemed to be recovering well. She could just leave and get the details on his injuries from the gorilla or Mayora. But when she tried to leave, her feet stayed rooted on the floor.

Not wanting to think too much, she decided to leave after she'd taken a closer look at him. Tip-toeing further inside the room, she knelt by his side. This close, she could see the steady rise and fall of his chest. The rhythmic action mesmerized her and with each of his inhales and exhales, Kagura felt herself relax. She was startled when she felt wetness on her cheeks. Damn it. Somehow, the knowledge that he was really alive and breathing had sunk in again, a glaring contrast from the anguish and pain that she had felt when she thought she had lost him. She quickly wiped her cheeks. If the sadist woke up and saw her crying over him, she wouldn't live the humiliation down.

Kagura watched him for a few more minutes and was overcome with the urge to touch him. She just wanted to confirm that he was warm and not weirdly cold like he had been back then. Her fingers had brushed his neck when she'd been screaming at him and while her mind had been too occupied to notice then, it was one of the details she had remembered later. Hesitantly, she reached out to touch his right hand that was lying next to her knee. Not wanting to wake him up, she lightly brushed her fingers over the back of his hand. She kept sneaking glances at his faces to note if there were any signs he was waking up. When she didn't find any, she covered his hand with her own. The contact felt warm and nice. Not wanting to test her luck, she didn't let her hand linger and ended the touch.

She had thought she would be satisfied with that, but she quickly realized that she wasn't. Now that she wasn't lying to herself about her feelings, Kagura was going all out. Of course, this was only when it came to her. If he entered the picture, Kagura would deny everything until her last breath. She ignored the voice inside her telling her to quit while she was ahead, but she ignored it and slowly reached out to touch his cheek. She had almost made contact when a voice startled her.

'China, planning to kill me when I can't defend myself?' His voice was husky and a little gruff but he had spoken in his usual deadpan tone. She was so surprised that she quickly pulled her hand back and her momentum caused her to fall back onto her butt. She clutched her chest and panted heavily and when he turned his head to look at her, she could feel the heat rise to her cheeks.

She decided to ignore her embarrassment and yelled at him. 'You idiot sadist! Don't scare me like that!'

He had on his poker face and spoke nonchalantly. 'That's my line. What was with that slow-mo action? Were you planning on strangling me? It's not really fair to do it when I can't even move.'

Kagura grit her teeth and tried suppressing the oncoming blush. Knowing he had seen her reach out to touch him was enough humiliation. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her suffer over it. Wait, if he was awake, does he know of what happened before?

Kagura wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to that question so she ignored it in favor of another. 'As if. Strangling is too easy a death for you. I'd want to dispose of you in the most painful way possible. And what do you mean you can't move? You look fine to me!'

'I have internal injuries, stupid. A little movement is fine but I wouldn't be able to protect myself even against a pig like you. But, I agree with you. Of course I look fine. I'm one of the finest men in Edo, after all.' The sadist might have been smirking as he said that but Kagura could feel his frustration at not being able to protect himself, let alone others. As a samurai or even a fighter, there could be nothing more maddening.

'Who the hell are you calling a pig, you little Chihuahua? And I take it back. You're definitely not fine. You're delusional. That head injury must be really serious. If anything, you rank lower than Madao where looks are concerned. And your personality is even shittier so you're really not even in the competition.' Kagura sneered. He didn't have to know that she was cursing him on the inside for looking so good. Seriously, how did he look that good when he was so sick?

'Coming from you, that means a whole lot of nothing, China. You think Danna shits rainbows and sprinkles and your other male points of reference are a pair of glasses and Edo's most wanted terrorist. You have zero taste, clearly.'

'I have great taste, you jerk! Don't you dare insult Gin-chan and my Sukonbu!' Kagura had half a mind to agree with him. After all, she liked the bastard. That was enough proof of horrible taste. But since doing so would also be an indirect confession, she kept quiet.

'Speaking of injuries though..' She looked at him questioningly when he stopped talking. He was staring at her and seemed to be contemplating something. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally settled on 'I heard what you did.'

Well, that told her a whole lot of nothing. She decided she didn't want to waste time thinking about what he could be referring to. Furrowing her eyebrows, she asked him. 'What did I do?'

'Tch. I'm talking about when I was at death's door and you decided to beat me up further and scream at me to bring me back. By the way, the score is 417-416 in my favor, don't go making things up. And once I get better, I'm going to pay you back for each of those hits so you better watch your back.' She was impressed he could make a threat sound so intimidating from his weak position but outwardly, she only crossed her arms and looked down her nose at him.

'Haaah? Is that any way to talk to the girl who miraculously cured you? You should be worshipping my feet and thanking me for the rest of your shitty life. I accept Sukonbu and all other food items as gifts.'

'Where's the girl? I only see a pig here.' Then his expression turned to one of disgust. 'And miraculously? Please. If those incompetent fools had done their job right the first time, I wouldn't have had to go through your violent treatment. Declaring someone dead without checking for the heartbeat is inexcusable. Seppuku would be an easy way out for them. I can't wait to try out all the torture techniques I've been reserving for Hijikata-san.'

Kagura wanted to tell him that his evil grin was creepy but she was frozen stiff at his words 'declaring someone dead'. She was reminded of the time she found him lying like a fucking corpse and the panic she had felt then threatened to resurface. Her face must have reflected her emotions because his eyes widened and he looked like he was going to ask her what was wrong but Kagura didn't want to hear it. She wasn't ready to talk about it or even think about it. So she shoved her anxiety aside and resorted to their safe place – insults.

'You're right. There was nothing miraculous about it. I mean it's pretty obvious and expected that Satan was the one who kicked you out because you going to hell would mean his position would be jeopardized.'

He smirked that infuriating smirk. 'China, I didn't think you thought so highly of me. I'm flattered.'

'That wasn't a compliment, you jerk!'

But then his expression turned serious and Kagura's heart started beating faster. He took a deep breath and winced, before turning to look at her. 'Thank you.'

That was all. They were just two words, but the sincerity behind them and the meaning they conveyed was far larger.

Thank you for being there. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for not giving up.

Kagura was so surprised by the rare display of emotion from the sadist that she let her head hang low until her bangs hid her eyes from him. If Kagura had been honest, she would have said a lot of things.

How dare you?! Do you have even the slightest idea of what you put me through!? Did you even think of what would happen to me if you left? It hurt. Just the thought of you not being there; it hurt so much.

But Kagura wasn't honest. She neither had the courage nor was she ready to put her heart through the blender so soon after what had happened. So she simply turned her head away and muttered. 'Treat me to lunch and dinner for the next one year and we'll be even'.

He didn't say anything for a long time and when she finally got tired of the silence, she turned her head to meet his gaze. He stared at her purposefully. He was telling her he had received her message. If she wanted to make light of situation, he would play along.

'A year of feeding a gluttonous pig like you? China, my wallet isn't a black hole like your stomach.'

Kagura was more than happy to get away from her depressing thoughts. She flashed him a smug grin. Really, he'd walked right into that one. 'Are you saying your life isn't even worth a year of food? I mean, I knew that but I didn't think you priced it so low as well. I knew your sadism was just a cover for your insecurity.'

'My life is priceless. Unlike yours which can clearly be bought for 300 yen like that disgusting Sukonbu you eat. And just so you know, my sadism is simply a cover for my super sadism. Would you like me to demonstrate?'

'Shut up! A Chihuahua like you wouldn't understand the delicacy that is Sukonbu. And I'd like to see you try to demonstrate. I'll even give you 300 yen if you manage to entertain me.' She was gloating at his look of frustration when he tried sitting up. He was using his right hand to support himself but the wound on his back must have been deep since he didn't get very far before wincing and slowly lowering himself.

He huffed and narrowed his eyes when he saw her sniggering. Serves him right for putting me through that, she thought.

'Oh, what a sorry state you're in, sadist. I bet I could kill you with just two of my fingers right now.'

He ignored her statement and turned his head away from her. 'Is that all you came here for? To throw a couple of stupid insults and make fun of me?' Her eyes narrowed at his snide tone. I mean, sure, she hadn't done anything else since the time she'd entered his room but this was her and the sadist. What did he expect? Flowers? Cooing? Fussing?

'I just came to check up on you since you were acting like such a weak bitch last time. I wanted to make sure you weren't dead because then I wouldn't get my payment for my services as a miracle worker.' The lie and the insult rolled easily off her tongue. Years of practice will do that to you.

'As you can see, I'm very much alive. Now get your payment from Hijikata-san and get the hell out.' He spat out and the restrained anger in his tone made her draw back in surprise. Sure, they fought and traded insults all the time but there was no real force behind it. It was all supposed to be in good spirit. This was different. He genuinely seemed mad at something.

'What crawled up your ass? What's with the sudden change in attitude?' She managed to keep her tone level and her expression devoid of the irritation she was feeling. It was taking everything she had in her not to blow up at the jackass but she wanted to be considerate of his situation, for once.

'What are you talking about, China? I've had enough civil conversation for the day and I'm tired of keeping up pretenses. There's really no need for you to stick around unless you're going to be useful. If I'm going to have to look at your ugly face, I'd rather look at it while you service me.'

His lewd grin made it clear exactly what kind of service he was referring to. This wasn't the first time the sadist had made sexual innuendos that made her blush like a fire engine. He'd been doing it for over 3 years and she'd almost gotten used to it. Almost.

But this time, while he wore a smile that implied all kinds of dirty things, his eyes were vacant. And Kagura knew that this was pretty much routine for them. He would say something mean and she would reciprocate with something meaner. So, she tried responding with an equally scathing insult despite the lump in her throat. But to her horror, no sound came out and her eyes filled with tears. While the logical and rational part of her knew that what he'd said was nothing to cry about, her heart was too fragile at the moment. It was one of those things where you were having a totally shitty day and even the slightest inconvenience like dropping your pen tips you over the edge and sends you in a bawling fit. She still felt too raw and vulnerable from the trauma of what had transpired and hearing him say something so callous when she was overwhelmed with her feelings for him was only rubbing salt in her wounds.

The sadist looked alarmed at her reaction and was calling out to her but she paid him no heed. She couldn't bear to have him see her cry over something so stupid and she got up and hurried toward the door, ignoring his frantic calls.

I'd very much appreciate it if you could leave some reviews!