Chapter 12: Misunderstanding

"I love him, but if he gets broken, let's not get a new one." - Penny

Carly found herself in a dress store one day, watching as Bernadette tried on wedding dresses. Penny sat next to her and they oohed and awed over the beautiful white choices the bride to be had to pick from.

"I still can't believe you chose me to be your maid of honor," Penny spoke, loud enough for Bernadette to hear as she changed in the dressing room.

Carly smiled, happy for her friend. Penny had been in tears when Bernadette had asked and Carly had to admit, the moment had almost moved her to tears as well. She was once again so thankful for how much her friends loved each other.

"You're the first friend I ever made at The Cheesecake Factory and introduced me to Howard," Bernadette explained, but she didn't need to. She already had before. "You mean a lot to me."

Penny placed her hand on her heart, feeling emotional again. "Still, I won't let you down. You're going to have the best bachelorette party ever."

Bernadette laughed, coming out in a white mermaid wedding dress, showing off every curve she had. Howard would pass out if he saw her in it. "Let's just go to Vegas or something."

Penny fanned herself then, forgetting what they were talking about once Bernadette had exited the dressing room. "Geez, Bernadette. Are you trying to kill Howard on your wedding day?" She wisecracked.

Bernadette smiled, a little too happily. "If I planned on it, I wouldn't need to dress like this. There's plenty of ways in the lab to do it without any trace back to me."

Carly and Penny glanced at each other, a little uneasy at the joke their friend had told. Bernadette noticed and rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on, I was just joking."

Carly bit her lip and looked down at the dress. She wondered what kind of dress Sheldon would approve of- but then thought better of it. He didn't seem like the marrying type. The thought made her a little sad.

"So it's too much?" Bernadette asked them and both girls nodded.

Penny grimaced regretfully. "Too much."

Bernadette sighed. "All right- the next one is the last one I'm trying on. I need a break and a latte."

"You got it," Carly encouraged with a grin.

The next dress had been it and all the girls knew it. After ordering it and the pink bridesmaid dresses they had picked out, they left for a Starbucks.

Coffee in their hands, they sat down at a table to enjoy the rest of the afternoon. They were supposed to pick up the pizza on the way back for dinner that night.

"So!" Penny started, getting right down to the gossip with her eyes turning to Carly- who immediately tensed with suspicion. "How's it going with Sheldon?"

Carly rolled her eyes at her friend's tactlessness. "You know how it's going with Sheldon," she laughed. "You see us all the time."

Penny huffed. "No, what I see is you looking in his ears for ladybugs, pouring his hot mustard sauce onto his rice, helping him organize his gross journals, and watch too many episodes of Supernatural with him."

Carly guffawed with a disbelieving, but amused laugh. "I happen to like Supernatural and he told me that he needs moral support when it gets scary."

Bernadette stifled a snicker. "Sure, keep telling yourself that."

Carly rolled her eyes. "Okay, then what is it then?"

"Have you guys kissed again? You know since that one time?" Penny asked her curiously.

"Comic-con?"

"Yeah, well and the kiss on the cheek that one time."

Carly blushed and remembered when he had pressed her up against the door to her apartment and made out with her like he hadn't done before.

Bernadette caught onto Carly's silence. "You have!" She accused happily.

Carly's blush deepened and she tried to shrug it off as if it wasn't a big deal. "We have."

"Has he french kissed you yet? Please tell me he isn't holding out on you," Penny begged dramatically and Carly laughed.

"Um, yes but-"

The girls squealed in giddiness and Carly hid her face in her hands. They were always like this when she told them things about Sheldon. "He wouldn't like it if I told you these things."

Bernadette waved her off. "Oh I'm sure Sheldon talks to Leonard about you all the time- there's no difference."

Carly frowned and dropped her hands. "Do you think he does?" She asked them, and then looked to Penny for confirmation.

Penny shrugged. "I have no idea. Leonard doesn't tell me everything- well maybe he does, I don't know."

Carly took a deep breath. "Well, either way." She suddenly thought of something and she immediately became uneasy. "Oh, um, Penny I've been meaning to ask you something but it's a bit awkward."

Penny was interested and she raised an eyebrow at her. "What's up?"

Carly bit her lip. "Um, well the other day when you guys came by to pick up Sheldon from my apartment you said something about him, well... uh-"

"No need to finish," Penny laughed, looking lighthearted. "I had to explain to Leonard too, so don't worry. It was way before you came along. I slipped in my shower and dislocated my shoulder. I called for help and Sheldon was the only one home to help me- so he had to obviously assist in well, getting me dressed and whatnot."

Feeling relieved yet not so relieved, Carly relaxed into a smile. "Oh, okay."

Penny patted her hand fondly, "Don't worry Carly, I don't go for tall dark and dorky... now short dark and dorky, with little glasses, well that I go for."

The girls laughed at Penny's joke and Carly rolled her eyes. The idea that Sheldon had seen her naked- tan, blond, and gorgeous Penny- made her feel rather self-conscious. If Sheldon ever went all the way with Carly, how would she even compare?

Bernadette broke her out of her thoughts, gearing her question towards Penny. "How's your relationship going? Still taking it slow?"

Penny ducked her head, a guilty smile appearing to which Bernadette and Carly laughed at. Penny threw her hands up defensively. "Hey, I couldn't hold out for much longer okay? Leonard may be a short little nerd, but he has a way with his mouth that makes me go crazy."

Carly and Bernadette cringed. "Ugh, TMI," the microbiologist complained and Penny laughed while taking a sip from her coffee.

"And what about you and Howard? Seems like you guys are doing okay?" Carly asked the smaller blond and she shrugged.

"As okay as we're going to be. Howard's preparing to go into space and I'm trying to convince him to move out of his mother's house, while also planning our wedding. I barely have time to worry about myself."

Penny and Carly gave her sympathetic looks.

"Have you sat down with Howard and talked to him about all of this?" Carly asked her and she shook her head.

"No, because I know exactly how it'll go. He will find a million excuses as to why he can't leave his mother just yet and I'll look like the bad guy in the end. Plus I know how stressful it is for him, preparing to go into space. The training was rough on him... I don't want to burden him with how I'm feeling. I can deal with it."

Penny reached over and squeezed her hand. "But honey, don't you realize that's what marriage is about? His troubles are your troubles and your troubles are his."

Bernadette let out a deep sigh and looked down at the table. "Yeah. You're right. I guess I should talk to him."

They chatted lightly about work and random things before deciding they should go pick up the pizza and head on over to the guys' apartment.

Upon arriving, Sheldon smiled over at Carly and gestured for her to sit next to him.

As if she'd sit anywhere else.

"Guess what?" Sheldon said excitedly turning to her as soon as she had sat down. She smiled over at him, loving the twinkle in his eyes.

"What?"

"The guys and I decided we're going to have a whole weekend where we do nothing but play the Star Wars video game, eat a whole bunch of junk food, and stay up all night!"

Leonard caught Carly's surprised eyes. "It'll be great fun," he explained, looking rather excited himself. Then he looked to Penny who had begun to stuff her face with pizza. "If... that's okay with you?" He suddenly looked nervous.

Penny looked back at him blankly, her cheeks full. It made it hard to understand her but she still spoke. "Why wouldn't it?"

Sheldon scoffed at her and shook his head, focusing on his pizza but with great effort. Carly though was in deep thought and she didn't hear the rest of the conversation.

Carly had been planning something but she hadn't told anyone of it, so she couldn't be that disappointed by the new plans. She realized that perhaps she should have brought it up with Sheldon.

She frowned and looked down at her hands. Sheldon noticed after a moment, drawing her from her thoughts.

"What's the matter?" He sounded worried and that spoke to her.

She looked up at him, seeing the concern, and tried to feign nonchalance. "Oh, nothing sorry. Just thinking about this weekend. If you're busy, I should probably think of something to do."

Sheldon looked only mildly apologetic, but she didn't take offense. She knew how excited he was. "Maybe go to the Burbank Animal Shelter."

His suggestion was thoughtful and she smiled. "Maybe. Or perhaps I'll go see my grandmother. She's been begging to see me since I moved."

Sheldon tilted his head thoughtfully at her. "That would be nice. I know you miss her too."

She nodded and gave him an appreciative smile. "I hope you have a good time... I'll uh, miss you." She said it awkwardly and quietly, not wanting their friends to overhear.

He looked away, seeming shy almost for a moment, and then smiled fondly at her. "I'll miss you too- now quit it. Eat your dinner before it becomes a soggy mess."

Carly grinned at him and took a slice of pizza, but then got a sudden thought. "Hey, um can you make sure your next Saturday is free? I want to spend time with you, just us."

Sheldon looked over at her in surprise but quickly recovered. "Of course! What did you have in mind?"

She shrugged. "It's a surprise."

He groaned dramatically. "Not agaaaain," he complained, sounding so very childlike. She grinned at how adorable he was.

"Well, I realized we haven't ever been on a real date before. So I thought we could, maybe- I don't know..." she trailed off, getting awkward as she continued because he stared at her with unspoken emotion and she wasn't sure what else to say.

Or if he'd go for it.

She wasn't in the dark for long because he seemed okay about it. "That sounds... nice. With you, that is."

She smiled gratefully. "Perfect. Um, I'll set it up and then text you the details. Oh and... we should dress up."

Sheldon's eyes lit up. "Like in costumes?"

Carly laughed at his naiveness. "No, I meant, like nicely. I'll wear a dress and you wear a tie."

"Oh," he said, sounding a little put out but seemed to accept it. "Very well." He gave her a boyish smile and she so wished they were alone because she would have kissed it.

"So hey," Penny drew her attention away from her boyfriend. "Since the guys will be locked up in here with lightsabers, we should do something- just us girls."

Bernadette perked up with a grin. "Ooh. Like what?"

Carly tilted her head. "Well I was thinking about going and seeing my grandmother, but I'm sure I could put it off again- what did you have in mind?"

Penny brightened, pleased that they were in. "We could go to a club and go dancing!"

"Hold on-!" Sheldon interjected and Penny groaned, leaning back in her chair in exhaustion. Carly tensed and reluctantly looked over to him. He peered down at her with incredible disapproval. "I don't think that's a good idea. Don't you remember the last time you drank, Carly?"

Of course, she remembered. It had been a pivot in their relationship. "Yes, but I haven't drunk that much since. I've completely learned my lesson."

It was the truth. She didn't ever want to lose control like that again, and more than that didn't want to disappoint him if she could help it.

"Oh come on, Sheldon. She's a grown woman, she doesn't need her boyfriend telling her what she can't do," Penny complained with a roll of her eyes, to which Sheldon glared.

"I'm not telling her what to do, Penny. I'm asking her to think about it logically, something you aren't capable of if past occurrences are proof," he said bitingly, then added smartly, "which they are."

Penny scowled at him and then turned to Carly who was frowning at him, not liking how he was talking about Penny in her honor. "Carly, look- you don't have to drink. Just come with us. It'll be fun."

Carly caught the anxious eyes of Sheldon and then looked over at Penny's hopeful face. She didn't want to let either of them down. "I'm not the club type though. Maybe we can do something else?"

Penny's shoulders slumped and Sheldon looked pleased. Carly shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Bernadette spoke up, thinking aloud, "We could go to Vegas."

If Sheldon hadn't liked the nightclub idea, he was horrified at the prospect of Carly going to Vegas. "No, absolutely not!"

Penny and Bernadette both glared over at him and Carly sighed, knowing that she'd have to say something to her boyfriend. He couldn't just dictate where she went because of his insecurities.

She placed a gentle hand on his arm, feeling him jump at the contact. He glanced down at it before looking at her expectantly.

"Sheldon, you can't decide for me."

He opened his mouth, obviously about to protest further but Penny cut in before he could utter a word.

"It's for Bernadette's bachelorette party! She has to come."

Bernadette and Carly both looked surprised by the admission, but then the former smiled. "Perfect! Carly, you have to come."

Carly took a deep breath, her hand sliding from Sheldon's arm and biting her lip. "Of course I will." The girls both squealed with happiness and Carly tried to look happy, and she was, but she was terrified to look over in Sheldon's direction.

She didn't need to wait long to find out what his reaction was because suddenly, he stood. Everyone looked up at him, even Carly, in surprise.

He glanced down at the floor uneasily and avoided their gazes. "I see my worries do not matter to any of you, so I'll just take my leave."

His words stung and she watched in horror as he left for his bedroom, the door slamming soon after making them all jump.

Carly realized she had outstretched a hand as if to stop him from going, but dropped it down to her lap dejectedly.

"Don't worry about him," Leonard told her, sobering first. "He'll get over it."

Carly wasn't so sure. She felt like she had done something wrong. Like she had disregarded his feelings. Of course, she cared about them, even understood them, but she couldn't just stop living her life because of them.

Seeing the worry on her face, Penny sighed and came over to her, sitting down in Sheldon's spot- which just felt so wrong to her.

"Hey, it's fine. He just hates when he doesn't get his way. He'll throw a temper tantrum, kick his feet, and before you know it he'll be over it."

Carly frowned and looked down at her hands, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. "Yeah," she said noncommittally.

The others exchanged glances and tried to get back to finishing their food. Carly left the apartment soon after, worried about her boyfriend but feeling too guilty to go and talk to him.

She knew it wouldn't do much good anyway. He was hellbent on her not going. He'd probably just try to convince her to stay.

oO0Oo

The next day when Carly got off work, she was surprised to see Penny walking down the stairs to meet her at 2B.

"Hey," she said with a warm smile. "I got you something."

Carly looked down at her hands, realizing she was holding a flat white box with a purple ribbon tied to it. "It's not my birthday," she said, eyeing it.

Penny cracked a grin. "I know, your birthday is in June. It's for this weekend."

At the reminder of what she had agreed to do, despite her boyfriend's protests, she held back a frown. "Oh, thanks."

She took the box from Penny and slid the lid off, revealing a champagne sequenced dress. Her eyes practically popped out at it. Was she for real?

"Do you like it?" Penny asked hopefully, her eyes eager when Carly looked up at her.

"It's so fancy looking- I couldn't possibly wear something like this."

Penny waved her off. "Oh don't give me that, Carly. I know how good you look when you wear form-fitted clothes. You're gonna look so hot in Vegas. I got Bernadette a white one, ya know cause she's the bride."

Carly frowned then, her eyebrows knitting together, thinking of Sheldon. "Speaking of which, I don't think-"

"No, you can't back out just because of your wackadoodle boyfriend. It's Bernadette's bachelorette party. You have to come."

Carly sighed and put the lid back on the box, then held it to her chest while looking at Penny somberly. "Have you talked to him?"

Penny's smile faltered and she looked away for a moment. "No. Leonard says he is pretty upset though. He's being more difficult than usual."

Carly bit her lip. "I should go talk to him. He's upset with me."

Penny shook her head. "Carly, he needs to realize he can't just control you. It's your life."

Carly knew Penny meant well, but she was missing the point. "He knows that. That's not why he's upset."

Penny's eyebrows knit in confusion. "Then why?"

"It's because he thinks I don't care about his feelings."

Penny made a silent "oh" with her mouth and sighed. "That makes more sense. But do you think talking to him will help? You'll just make him more upset if you tell him you're still going... you are still going right?"

Carly shrugged. "Yes, I still plan to go. I just... don't want to leave him here thinking that about me when it's not true."

Penny nodded. "Okay, fair enough."

Carly peered up at her nervously. "Is he home?"

She shook her head. "No, not yet. I think they're at GameStop."

Carly nodded and shifted with the box in her hand. "All right. Can you text me when he gets home? I have a lot of packing to do before tomorrow."

Penny smiled softly and nodded. "Of course."

Carly made a move to leave but then paused, smiling at Penny. "Thanks for the dress."

Penny brightened. "You're welcome! Oh, I can't wait!"

Carly had to admit she was excited too, but her nerves were keeping her from showing it.

It was almost eight when Penny texted her, "Sheldon's in a mood, and I wouldn't come up."

Carly's heart fell and she stared down at the message, disheartened. She should have just talked to him after dinner the night before instead of chickening out. Now it had festered.

Sighing she wondered if she could salvage the situation, even if he was in a bad mood.

Taking a deep breath, she stood from her couch and turned her tv off. She wore a pair of gray sweatpants and a red t-shirt, comfortable after a long day's work. The box Penny had given her was left untouched on her coffee table.

She needed to calm Sheldon down. Or try to at least. It was her fault he was being like this.

She left her apartment after sliding shoes on and went up to 4A, not knocking because she was worried he'd turn her away.

When she walked inside, she saw Leonard on his computer and Sheldon nowhere to be found. Penny wasn't there either.

Upon hearing her come in, Leonard turned in his chair and gave her a wary smile. "Hey, Carly. What's up?"

Carly gave him a grimaced smile. "Penny said that Sheldon was in a mood... where is he?" She looked around the living room as if he'd vaporize before her.

Leonard faltered and stood from his chair, pushing his glasses up his nose nervously. "He's in the bathroom. He said something about flushing the emotions out of his head with a neti pot."

Carly frowned, feeling guilty. "Because of me?" She asked in a murmur, scared it was true.

Leonard looked apologetic. "He's been acting a little crazier today than usual. He threw the sex-ed book we gave him a while back out of the car window today. I didn't even know he carried it with him."

That unsettled her. It was as if he was trying to bury whatever he felt towards her or throw his care for her out the window. This was deeper than she had thought.

"I need to fix this," she muttered, her heart racing with fear that he was going to break up with her. That all the progress they had made in their relationship was being ruined.

She moved past Leonard and marched to their bathroom, vaguely hearing the water on but didn't care.

She threw open the door, Leonard's protests of her actions falling on deaf ears. At first, she didn't see him but as she fully entered the room, she realized he was in the shower.

Backtracking, she widened her eyes when she saw him. He stood under the showerhead, fully clothed, and completely drenched. When he saw her his whole expression went rigid and he stared at her through wide, torturous eyes.

"Sheldon!" She gasped, coming to terms with what she was witnessing. "What are you-" she made a move to approach him, to pull him out of the shower but he backed up away from her, as far as he could against the wall.

She stopped, her hand outstretched towards him and holding the empty air.

"Don't come any closer to me! I'm cleansing myself of all the filthy things your womanly charms have done to me."

Carly felt panic then. "No." She urged. "You've misunderstood! You're wrong about this."

Sheldon gave her a derisive look as if to say? "I am never wrong!"

"You are this time, Sheldon," she told him, her voice high and scared.

His eyebrows furrowed deeply over his eyes and he stared out at her blankly, clearly not understanding how he could be wrong.

"I'll explain if you just- come out of there. You're soaked!" She said offhandedly, attempting to coax him out of the tub.

"No. I'm not moving until all of the dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine, and vasopressin leave me when I think of you."

He looked almost like a wild animal and it frightened her. He was trying so hard to stop liking her, so afraid she'd hurt him.

She hated herself for doing this to him.

"Sheldon, please," she begged, putting her hands together in a pleading motion. "Please come out. I just want to explain."

Sheldon screwed his face up and looked away from her. "There's nothing to explain."

Carly was at a loss. He wasn't going to get out of the shower. Not without insight. She took a deep breath to calm herself and put her hands down at her sides. "Okay, I'll just explain now then..." she paused, collecting herself. "I know you think I don't care about how you feel and I allowed you to think that, but it's untrue. I have spent my whole life without real friends and now that I have them I want to do everything with them. Bernadette and Penny are my family. They might make mistakes, but they're everything to me."

He looked stung, betrayed and she closed her eyes briefly, finding the strength to continue. He was taking it personally as if she preferred the girls over him.

"I told you before that I wouldn't drink again, that I wouldn't put myself in dangerous situations. That I would be careful. I promised you," she reminded him because he needed to know that. "I'm not going back on my word, Sheldon. I will never go back on my word because you mean the most to me. Your opinion of me, your happiness, your comfort- it means more to me than anything in this world and I will never go back on my word to you."

She meant it, vowed even. Carly stared at him, her breaths coming out in heavy pants because of how anxious she was to have him listen to her, to understand.

"This is Bernadette's bachelorette party. I want to be there for her. She is one of my best friends and I'm happy that she is getting married. I want to celebrate with her," she told him. "I am not going because I don't care about how you feel. I care deeply about how you feel, about everything. I care about your routines, your interests, your job - everything that makes you who you are. It's what I love about you and I couldn't even begin to not care about any of it now that you're in my life- do you understand? So please, listen to me. I mean it. Don't give up on us!"

She was outright begging by the end of it, not realizing she had used the big L word to him. He stared at her with wide eyes, hanging onto every word with an unreadable expression.

For a long, drawn-out moment and her words hanging in the air, she wondered if she had gotten through to him. Or if she hadn't. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost him now. That everything that had happened between them had been for nothing. That her strong feelings for him were for naught.

And then, slowly and cautiously, he dropped down and turned the shower off. Her heart skipped a beat as she watched him climb out of the tub, drenching the floor and making a mess.

His hair hung to his head and droplets of water dripped down his cheeks, almost looking like tears. His lip trembled and she held her breath, hope racing through her. Then he violently shivered and she sprung into action.

"Oh, Sheldon-" she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around him, trying but failing to keep him warm. He was freezing. Had it just been cold water he had been standing in for who knows how long? "You're going to get sick," she cried, wretched at his condition.

He shivered against her hands and looked up at her pathetically. "I need to get out of these wet clothes-"

"Of course!" She steered him out of the bathroom, his wet footsteps on the floor. She saw Penny and Leonard standing in the hallway, looking like they had heard the whole thing and was watching them in worry.

"Can you help clean the water up- I need to get him changed," Carly asked, helping the shivering Sheldon to his bedroom, her voice shaking.

"Of course!" Leonard called after her and she closed the door behind them.

Turning around, she went over to his dresser and opened the top drawer, seeing pajamas. She had absolutely no idea which ones to choose and turned to see Sheldon standing in the middle of the room, silent and looking wounded.

"Sheldon, I - I'm going to go make you some tea. Get dressed into something warm," she told him, putting a hand to his arm. He didn't look at her but nodded numbly.

She worried her lips and pulled herself away, leaving him in his room. As she closed the door behind her, she saw Leonard on all fours with a towel, drying up the trail of water.

"Thank you," she told him and moved past him to their kitchen. She grabbed Sheldon's tea box and a mug, then turned to fill the kettle with water and put it on the stove to get hot.

She didn't realize she was trembling until Penny touched her hand. She snapped her eyes up to her and saw the look of worry in her green eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Carly shook. "I don't know," she told her honestly. "I think he's going to break up with me and I-" she broke off, feeling a sob breakthrough and causing hot tears to pour out of her eyes and down her cheeks.

Penny pulled her into a hug, letting her cry into her hair. She didn't stop until the kettle began to whistle and she pulled away abruptly to get it but Leonard had returned and grabbed it, pouring it into the mug she had got out.

Carly wiped at her face, trying to get a hold of herself. She took a chamomile tea bag from the tea box and slid it into the mug Leonard handed over to her.

She began steeping it, unable to say anything to anyone at the moment. Leonard and Penny looked at each other over her, concerned.

"Carly, it's going to be okay," Leonard began but Carly put the mug down a little harshly on the counter- jarring them.

"You said that last time, and now look what's happened!" She didn't mean to yell at him, but her emotions were all over the place and she was scared.

He widened his eyes at her, surprised at the outburst. Penny took her shoulder. "You can't blame yourself, Carly. It was just a misunderstanding."

Carly shook her head then gathered the mug back into her hands, needing to get away from their worried gazes and attempts at reassuring her. She needed Sheldon.

She moved past them wordlessly and went back to Sheldon's bedroom. She knocked once but when she didn't hear a response, she slid open the door and poked her head in.

He was dressed in his pajamas now and curled up in his bed, his back to her and on his side. She swallowed down thick emotion and made herself walk in.

"Sheldon, I brought you t-tea," she stumbled over her words, closing the door with one hand, and then headed over to him.

She sat herself down on the bed behind him and put the mug on his nightstand, on the appropriate coaster. She stared at his back, trying to not let herself get swept away again.

It wouldn't do her any good.

"Sheldon?" She tried again and she watched his shoulders move up and down as if sighing heavily.

"I'm cold."

Carly bit her lip and looked over at the mug of hot tea. "You shouldn't have sat under the cold water for so long... Leonard told me you were using a neti pot, what made you go for the shower?"

Sheldon finally sat up and her heart sped up at the action. His hair was still damp and his face was pale. He stared down at his bedspread in thought. "I started with the neti pot but it wasn't working."

Carly watched him for a few beats. "You mean to erase me from your mind."

Sheldon nodded.

He was hurt. Very hurt. Carly recognized that now. She just wished she had realized it sooner. She wanted to reach out to him but didn't feel like it was the right time.

She took the mug from the end table and offered it to him. He delicately took it from her and took a long sip. She looked down at her hands in her lap, fearing the worst.

She needed to know.

"Are we breaking up?" She asked in a tiny, scared voice.

She didn't dare look at him but she felt his eyes on her. Her heartbeat hard in her ears, drowning out her thoughts.

"Why would we break up?"

His childlike, naive question broke her and she laughed, sounding bitter, unbelieving. "Because you were trying to stop liking me."

"It's true, I was..." he trailed off, looking down and licked his lips. "But I failed."

Carly looked at him then, a sliver of hope in her heart. "Failed?"

He nodded and averted his gaze, staring down at the floor next to him. "I can't get you out of my mind, no matter how hard I try. It's-" he broke off, wincing with a thought. "-maddening."

Carly understood him so well. He held her heart in his hands. If anyone in this world could hurt her the most, it was him. That must be how he felt.

"Sheldon," she said, bringing his eyes back to her. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to. It was never my intention."

Sheldon eyed her for a long time then looked down. "I understand that now."

That was a relief and she relaxed. He wasn't breaking up with her and he understood now. It was as if a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Yet, she still felt the tension.

"I won't go if you don't want me to," she told him, honestly and meaning every word. "You mean more to me than anything."

"No you're right," he told her quickly, looking different. "I need to trust you."

Carly bit her lip and looked down. "I won't do anything to break that trust."

"I believe you. After all, you love me."

He said it so matter of factly like it was a normal conversation for them that she didn't catch it at first but then she froze.

"What?" She asked, slowly looking up at him to make sure she had heard him right.

Sheldon averted his gaze, shifting uneasily under her penetrating eyes. "You told me you loved me in the bathroom," he told her softly.

Carly blinked, reviewing what she had said to him, and then with a sudden realization, knew it was true. She had been feeling it for a while now but she hadn't fully understood it herself.

She swallowed thickly. He seemed to be taking it well. No sign of panicking. A little embarrassed but that was it.

"I..." She didn't know what to say.

Sheldon took a drink of his tea. "It's all right. I'm relieved to hear it."

"Relieved?" She echoed, not understanding.

He nodded vaguely. "Yes, because... I love you too."

Carly's jaw dropped then. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. "You do?" She whispered in disbelief.

Sheldon backtracked, looking caught. "Yes. It's the only explanation of what I'm feeling for you and why I can't stop it."

Carly felt elated, but so drained from the emotional rollercoaster she had experienced. She smiled through tears at him, wanting to show him just how much it meant to her that he shared the same feelings.

"I'm so glad," she murmured and he smiled softly, their eyes meeting and telling each other everything they needed to know.

Then, a sudden thought occurred to him and he groaned dramatically.

"What?" She asked suddenly, worried by his behavior.

"I can feel a cold coming on- I won't feel up to playing Star Wars tomorrow." He looked miserable and she felt guilty all over again. This was all her fault.

"I'm so sorry Sheldon," she told him, her shame evident on her face and in her voice.

He leaned his head back on the wall. "No, it's my fault. I'm the one who got into a cold shower."

"I'll stay and take care of you," she offered, no longer feeling like it was right for her to leave him. No matter what he said, she felt responsible for it.

He shook his head, giving her a serious look. "No, don't. It's fine. I- 'll manage on my own. I have Leonard, don't forget."

Carly gave him a half-hearted smile, thinking that Leonard probably wouldn't be too happy taking care of a sick Sheldon. But she did appreciate the go-ahead to go.

"If you're absolutely sure," she said to him, still worried she was making the wrong choice.

Sheldon gave her a real smile then and it took her breath away. "I'm positive. Just... keep your promise."

Carly suddenly got an idea and stuck her pinky out to him. He stared down at it blankly before trailing his eyes back up to her, confused. She grinned. "I'm pinky promising you."

Sheldon's lips curved upwards and gingerly wrapped his pinky around hers. "No going back," he told her.

She tilted her head, still smiling. "Never will."

Story updates will be once a week on Fridays from now on. Have a great week!