"Ooooooh!"

"what's that baby bro, hm? what is that?" asked Sans putting his paint brush into his water cup.

"Is a kitty!"

"n-"

"Is a kitty giving me a thumbs up wit it's butt!"

"heh heh no, no pap it's not a kitty."

"Is a hamster?"

"nope."

"Gerbil?"

"c'mon papyrus, it's not that har-"

"OH! Baby knows! It's dat suck-ass doody do-"

"it's a rabbit."

"Nyeh?" Papyrus looked at the picture quizzically, whilst sticking his fingers in his mouth. "A rabbit…?"

"yep. the 'thumbs up' is its tail."

The baby tilted his head a bit and grinned happily upon seeing what it truly was. "Oh yeaaah! I sees it! It gots a butt-injury! Poor rabbit…"

"*sigh*"

"Don't be sad Snas, Imma get more paper, then we paints a medical ward-"

"it's fine."

"It don't look fine."

"WELL IT IS."

Little jerk. He's doing this on purpose, he KNOWS it's a rabbit…

"Is the flower gonna takes it to da' ward?"

"what? what flow-THAT'S A BUTTERFLY!"

"Bud-der-fly…?"

"YES, A BUTTERFLY! IT'S CLEARLY A BUTTERFLY!"

"Sure it is," chirped a familiar voice. "You CLEARLY don't know how to draw Smiley."

"SHUT UP! WHOEVER YOU ARE, SHUT. UP!"

The angry comedian scanned the room with his eyes eagerly, hoping to find the obnoxious speaker, but like yesterday and the day before, he failed.

When is this prick leaving?

Why are they even HERE?

The owner of the voice didn't respond, but he could still feel their laughter somehow.

"i know you're laughing at me jerk, i can FEEL it. must be fun huh? talking trash from your little hiding place like a wuss. you're soooo braaave-"

"Don't be a bully Snas, or you'll be sent to Bullworth."

"Yeah Smiley! I'm smaller than you, so that means you have to be nice to me. It's the law."

"it's not the law!"

"It IS the law," said the voice. "and if you break it you'll be sent to prison. You know what they do to little kids in prison Trashbag?"

"little kids don't GO to prison. i'm not stupid-"

"They make them run errands."

"…"

"They're the slaves that bring the REAL criminals cigarettes and candy bars. They act cute for the guards so they'll get stuff from the outside."

Sans rolled his eyes and began to put his paints away. Whoever this mystery person was, they were clearly younger than him and possibly retarded.

"HEY! Baby didn't get to pay wit da' paints! Why you take my colors?!"

Because you'll put them in your mouth.

"because the table's all wet bro! if we put more paper down, it'll get soggy and the colors won't show up."

It would have been nice if he could find some REAL watercolor paints, but apparently Humans had trouble throwing things away in their containers. Every time he managed to spot one, he'd wind up disappointed to see that the river had washed the case clean of the paints because some human failed to put the cover over it.

These paint tubes are all I got. They're probably poisonous too, so I should keep them away from Papyrus.

"You shouldn't lie to your little brother Smiley."

"huh?"

"He's taking them away because he knows you'll make a mess on purpose, BRAT. Assuming you don't stuff em' in your stupid little face-"

"that's not true! don't listen to him pap."

"Yes it is. THAT'S why I'm hiding. If he sees me, he'll put me in his mouth like an idiot."

"what part of 'shut up' don't you understand?"

Why does he want to make everyone mad?

"Whatever. Maybe if your brother didn't shove everything in his mouth like you, I'd grace ya' with my presence, but for right now I have to stay hidden."

Besides, the longer I'm around Papyrus the quicker he'll realize I'm Asriel and if he does he'll be pissed at me. It wasn't my idea to keep our plan a secret, but I'M the one that got us both killed.

If I had just worked together with Chara…

"Dat's not my fault! How's baby suppose to know what stuffs is if I doesn't put it in mah mouth?"

ALL babies put things in their mouth, so why would Papyrus be any different?

"I dunno, maybe use your FREAKING EYES?"

"DON'T CHU YELL AT ME DIRT-BUTT!"

"…dirt-butt…?"

"Yep! Daz his name."

"NO IT"S NOT!"

"*pfft!* your name is dirt-butt?"

"NO!"

"Yes it is. He a flower, so he gots roots for a butt, and they diiiirtyyy-"

"SHUT UP!"

He's a flower? I didn't think flowers could talk…

"You know why he REALLY hides, Snas? Is cause' he don't want people to smell him. He doesn't smell good like da' other flowers cause' he's so dir-"

"I'M CLEANER THAN YOU, DROOL POOL!" screamed the flower. "WHY DON'T YOU GO EAT SOME GLUE OR SOMETHING?! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

"HEY, hey calm down buddy wouldja'? you're arguing with a baby."

"I'M ARGUING WITH CRAP! A TINY PIECE OF CRAP!"

"You're breaking the law, Dirt-Butt…"

"YOU'RE BIGGER THAN ME!"

Sans laughed silently (a bad habit he had picked up that hurt a lot) and turned his gaze to the air vent right above the place where Papyrus's crib used to be. It was obvious by this point that the plant was hiding within it as the echoes of his screaming gave it away a long time ago.

I wonder how he got up there…and how Papyrus knows he's a guy. Did they meet before?

"you didn't really try and put him in your mouth, did you bro?"

Gross.

"Course I did! A good baby bones gathers as much in-fo-mation as possible so we can be smart when we gets big. ERYTHING goes in baby's mouth, even Snas! Nyeh heh heh!"

"bruh."

Well at least that explained why Sans once woke up with slimy fingers…

Little prick.

"That's disGUSTING! YOU'RE disGUSTING!"

"…Yo' mama dis-gusting."

"c'mon pap, we can all be friends here; we don't have to fight," said Sans hopefully. "what's your name, pal?"

Oh shit!

"Uh…it's..uh-"

"Dirt-Butt."

"IT'S NOT DIRT-BUTT!"

The comedian gave the baby bones a look and waited patiently for the plant to continue. "take your time, buddy."

Making friends must be hard for them, like it is for me.

"It's uh..Flo-"

"Florance?"

"No, it's not Florance! That name is stupid."

Think of a good name, THINK OF A GOOD NAME!

"It's..Flo-wey. Yeah! Yeah, I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Does yo' daddy hate you too?"

"MY NAME IS FINE!"

Poor, poor Dirt-Butt.