Jane sat at her table by the window, looking out to a rainy Boston morning. A huge airplane rolled by, as a waiter put the ordered Cappuccino down in front of her. She thanked him and shuffled the papers which lay in front of her to one pile. Sighing she thought about the case, which had kept her busy, almost to the point where she had forgotten that she had promised to fly to Boston over the Christmas holiday.
"Okay ma. I will come home." She had almost pouted as her mother had nagged at her a month ago. She hadn't been in Boston since she had left the FBI and moved to New York three years ago. Home was a strange word she thought. What exactly is home? Is it a building, a feeling? What? This place didn't feel like home anymore and she didn't like to be here feeling estranged.
"Excuse me, would you mind if we sit here? The restaurant is so packed…" a polite voice invaded Janes thinking. Not recognizing the voice at first, she just nodded. She would hopefully been gone soon, so she didn't mind.
She gasped when she looked up to see the blonde woman which had haunted her for so many years, dropping her bag onto one of the chairs. A little girl was standing right next to her, smiling, holding a plush bear firmly in her arms. "Hi, I'm Sophie." She said and politely held out her hand to Jane.
The brunette noticed that Sophie was just a spitting image of Maura, only in little. The same smile, the same blonde hair, the same nose….
In this moment, the world around Jane stood still. Confused she shook the hand of the child, introducing herself as Jane. "Nice to meet you Sophie." She managed to say and hoped to sound nonchalantly and friendly.
The blonde who was busy rummaging around her bag, instantly stopped when Jane said her name. But maybe it was also her deep raspy voice, which was immediately recognized by Maura, who turned and gasped.
"Jane?!" she whispered, looking pale like the ghost she was in the brunette's dreams.
Jane blushed, recalling the time they had spent together in Paris. Back then Jane had finally worked up all her braveness to confess Maura that she loved her. Only to get rejected. Finally leaving earlier than planned because the mood between them had become awkward and painful. They hadn't spoken to each other since that day.
Messages had been exchanged from time to time, only proving that their friendship was gone. And now fate or whatever had put them into a crowded restaurant together.
"I'm not hungry, can I go and play mommy, pleaaaaaseeeee." The girl asked Maura, seemingly not aware of the emotions of the adults. Jane didn't want her to go, to leave her alone with the blonde woman and she cringed when Maura nodded okay to Sophie. She swallowed hard and watched how the blonde settled on a chair on the opposite of her from which she could have an eye on her daughter.
For a while none of them spoke, Jane looked out of the window and Maura pretended to be busy watching Sophie.
"You're working a case?" Maura spoke into the silence which lingered between them, glancing at the pile of paper in front of the brunette. Jane was still confused, not knowing how to act. She decided to try and act normal. Frankie would pick her up soon, and then Maura would become a ghost again.
Therefore, she nodded and took a sip from her coffee. "Can I … uhm… have a look?" Maura questioned shyly. Jane nodded again, pushing the pile towards her former friend, praying to god that Frankie would be there any minute so she could leave.
She couldn't help but watch Maura flipping through the file, stopping at the crime scene pictures with the body. "God, I miss working." She sighed, shuffling through the pile. "I miss the old times." Her whisper was so silent that Jane could hardly hear her over the noises of the crowded restaurant. But she could see a sad expression on Maura's face.
Jane felt how the anger crept up her throat and she tried to swallow it back. If this was Maura holding a hand out to her, she wouldn't take it. There was no way. Maura had dropped her like a hot potato and refused to talk about the matter. Jane couldn't even count the calls which had gone unanswered by the blonde. Bitterness and disapointement were raging inside of her as she thought that she was so done with that woman, knowing immediately that it was a lie and self protection.
She almost shrieked when two girls were suddenly standing next to the table, giggling silly. "Ask her!" Sophie said to the other one. The other one replying. "Naw, you better ask." More silly giggling. Jane automatically pulling her daughter closer, kissing the top of her head and requesting: "Ask what, honey?"
She noticed how Maura's jaw dropped but she tried to focus on the five-year-old in her arms. "I and Sophie decided that we should go to the park together in our holidays. Can we?" Excited eyes were directed towards the two women.
"Pleaaaaaasssseeeee" Sophie begged to no one in particular. Jane sighed. "Well, I'm sure we can work something out. Right?" she gingerly said glancing at Maura whose jaw was still hanging loose. Jane was already looking for a solution as to how to fulfill their daughters wishes without too much contact with the blonde.
"Besides its Sophie and I." she playfully scolded Julia, her daughter, and winked with a smile. The girl said: "Whatever." And the kids returned to the corner where the toys were after receiving a nod from Maura. Jane rolled her eyes quietly and took another sip from her coffee.
She looked up when she heard a chuckling noise from the other side of the table which surprised her. "I'm sorry, but she's just so like you." Maura grinned at Jane who couldn't help but give a little laughter too. "Yeah, that scares me sometimes." Jane admitted and thought Crap! Its been what? Five minutes and I'm already falling for that woman again. Shit!
She felt how Maura brushed slightly over the back of her hand. It was a quick and seemingly nonchalant move, but it sent electroshocks through Janes body. Since Maura, she had no one let get so close to her again, because she didn't want to hurt anymore. She withdrew the hand from the table and put it on the mug where it was safe. Shit! She thought realizing that the blonde woman could still get under her skin so easy.
"I think its good, the world needs more Jane Rizzolis." Maura said trying to catch Janes eyes. Jane was just about to say Really? Which would have been sarcastic and maybe hurt the blonde when her phone rang.
"Rizzoli" Saved by the bell she thought as she heard Frankie's voice say that he would be able to pick her up in ten minutes. "I have to go, Maura. Frankie is picking me up. If the girls should still want to meet…. Well I still have my old number."
The sad look in Maura's eyes was back and it didn't escape the brunette as she grabbed her stuff.
Her heart became heavy when she went to pick Julia. Her girl was happily playing with Sophie and she had a hard time interrupting them. She didn't know about Maura's girl, but her daughter didn't warm up to other kids easily, just like her when she was young and even still now. Therefore, she had not much friends either. It had to be Maura's kid she had to fall for, Jane thought. Why wasn't she surprised?
She had to promise both girls that they would meet during the holidays in order to lure Julia away. They were already on their way to the exit, when Julia spoke up again. "Can uncle Frankie take Maura and Sophie too in his car? No one picks them up." There was a sad tone in her voice. Jane cringed. She knew how hard it was to catch a taxi in the holiday season and stopped in her tracks.
Part of her also realized of course that Julia had mentioned it because she was sad leaving her friend behind. She stood and thought quickly. She didn't want to spent time with Maura, not more than necessary anyway. On the other hand, how could she ignore the light in Julia's eyes when finding a friend?
Damn it! She muttered when pulling out her phone. "I ask Maura if they want to join us, okay?" she said and tried to smile at Julia, who jumped in joy. Her fingers trembled slightly as she searched her phone for a number which she had wanted to delete a thousand times already.
The blonde picked up after the second ring. "Jane?" Maura sounded surprised. No wonder, she must have felt Janes rejection.
"Yeah, Hey, it's me. Julia asks if you would like to join us for the ride to Boston?" she said after clearing her throat unconsciously rubbing wet palms against her jeans, trying to sound cool.
There was silence on the other end at first. Then… "Well, honestly it would be great. I have no one to pick me up and … " Jane didn't quite get the last words because of a group of tourists who passed them by, talking loudly.
The brunette quickly told Maura where they were and hoped that she had gotten the directions right. Julia was over the moon about the news, telling Jane all kind of things about her new friend, but Jane only listened half heartedly because her heart was thumping so loud and the girl was talking so fast.
A few minutes later Sophie came running towards them, excited she swung her arms around Julia. Both girls immediately started to whisper and giggle. The brunette tried to imagine what it would have been like if Maura and she had met at their age. Kids had clearly an advantage she thought, as she watched the blonde approach, face slightly red. Either from carrying around the heavy bag or seeing Jane again.
Maura thanked her as they walked towards the exit, kids in between them. Each attached to their mothers' hand.
"Uncle Frankieeeeeee." Julia exclaimed when spotting him. He had visited Jane several times in New York, and the five-year-old adored her uncle. "Hey sweetie." He said and lifted her up, planting loads of kisses on her face. "Let me down uncle Frankie." Julia managed to say in between her laughter while fidgeting with her feet in the air.
"This is Sophie. She's my friend." She pointed with her little thumb to the other girl who was hiding behind Maura, following the scene wide eyed. It was then when her brother realized who was standing in front of him. "Maura?!" he said in disbelief, quickly glancing at Jane who shrugged.
After Paris, Jane had bottled up completely. But when she had realized that she couldn't handle the pain herself, she had talked to Frankie. They had spent hours on the phone, and he had listened as she had cried over what had happened between her and the blonde. No wonder that he was surprised, Jane thought.
Maura held out a hand to greet him, but Frankie just pulled her into a hug. "Its good to see you after such a long time." He said smiling warmly.
Then he crouched down and glanced at the girl hiding behind her mothers' leg. "Hey to you too." He softly said. "I'm Frankie, Julia's uncle." Jane remembered the girl introducing herself earlier at the table and wondered why Sophie was so suddenly shy.
But she had no time to think about it as Frankie then pulled his sister into a long hug.
After loading up all the luggage into the trunk, they were headed towards Boston. Jane on the passenger's side, the rest in the back. Breathe, Jane. She thought. Just breathe. She had noticed that Maura was not wearing a wedding ring. She scolded herself for thinking about such stupid stuff. Besides Maura had told her on several occasions that Jane was not her type. She wasn't probably even gay, Jane thought.
"So where should I drop you?" Frankie asked looking into the rear-view mirror. "it would be great if you could bring me to my house in beacon hill." Maura quietly said and looked sad. Frankie nodded and turned to Jane. His eyes kind of saying: talk to her. But Jane had no intention. She saw how her brother rolled his eyes.
He found her on the terrace of their mothers' home, later that night. Angela was playing with Julia, so Jane had taken the opportunity to have some time on her own. Frankie put a hand on her shoulder when walking up from behind of her. "Talk to me, Jane." He said silently and stood that he could face her.
The brunette looked at him sadly and sighed. "What do you want me to say? She was suddenly there, at the restaurant. By the time we recognized each other, it was too late."
"I got that. But that's not what I was asking."
Jane took a sip from her beer and shrugged. "I'm a mess, if that's what you wanted to know."
"Much better, Jane." He sighed, looking up into the stars, his breath forming a white cloud in front of his mouth.
"She seems to be sorry. And you miss her. Maybe you should talk to her." His words drifted to her mind.
"I can't Frankie. Even if I forget what she said to me, I can't handle a friendship with her anymore. I can't stand her being close to me without being with her. This would kill me." She felt how a tear rolled down her cheek.
Frankie sighed again. "Look Jane, I know how it feels to be rejected, and I know how it feels to lose a friend. It is sad. But as I see it you haven't lost her. Everybody knows that there is a strong bond between you. Don't you think that its worth a try to clear things up?"
Jane stared at him before she took the last sip of her bottle of beer and left Frankie alone on the terrace, going into the house.
When she had settled in the guestrooms bed with Julia's tiny body pressed against hers, she started to mull over her brother's words.
The girl had fallen asleep quickly after curling up on her. She had talked about Sophie almost the entire evening until she was too tired to talk anymore. Jane softly caressed the dark curls as she did every night, murmuring: "Good night, honey. I love you little angel."