The next morning greeted the family with bright sunshine and the birds were singing cheerful in the garden. Maura found Jane sitting on the deck, reading the paper. Her cup of coffee was almost empty.

"Good morning, honey." Maura greeted her wife with a kiss to the cheek, settling into her chair. Julia and Sophie were hovering around the apple tree.

"Good morning to you too." Jane smiled at Maura, finding her wife adorable with the disheveled hair and the slight imprint on her cheek, left by the cushion. She noticed the worried expression on her Maura's face. "I know that they are kids, and that kids are supposed to climb trees and do other dangerous stuff. But I'm still anxious." The blonde mumbled after taking a sip from her own coffee.

"They are going to be fine. Besides, there is a doctor in the house if needed." She joked half-heartedly, folding the paper and putting it onto the table while watching the kids circle around the tree.

So far, their attempts to climb the tree had been fruitless because the closest branch was to high above the ground for them to reach it. But one day they would be big enough. Jane eyed the tree closely. It looked old, but the branches seemed to be strong.

"Are you nervous?" Maura's whisper snapped her back to the topic she had tried not to think about. The results of the tests were due today. The brunette nodded after a short sigh. Her eyes searching Maura's. She found her own feelings and fears mirrored in the hazel eyes.

What if their bodies weren't ready to have another child anymore? It wouldn't be the end of the world, but it would still be a deception.

"Its going to be fine." Jane sounded surer than she felt. Only two more hours to the doctor's appointment she thought as she rose from her chair to start the preparation for breakfast. Maura silently followed her into the kitchen.

"You know, if we can't have another baby…." Maura's voice trailed off. Jane who was just making fresh orange juice turned to her with a questioning look. "Well, it will be fine too. We already are a great family." The blonde continued biting her lips. The brunette sighed and quickly closed the distance between them with a few steps. Her arms wrapped around Maura, who immediately hugged her back.

Jane could feel her wife's doubts which sprung off the fear of a negative response today. Their heartbeats were fast as they lingered in their position until Julia and Sophie came into the kitchen.

"Oh, get a room!" Sophie smirked. Maura and Jane laughed lightly. They had an idea where their 10-year-old daughter could have learned such a thing. Julia wrinkled her nose smartly. "Frankie." Jane whispered and Maura nodded.

"Honey. We don't need a room. We just hug." Jane smiled and ordered the girls to go and wash their hands before setting the table. She heard Maura chuckle as they watched both walk down the hallway in dismay.

"Uh, I'm getting really good at it, right?" Jane asked, feeling Maura bump her shoulder against hers.

"Yes, you do indeed." The blonde replied.

"So, what would you need a room for if it's not for hugging?" Sophie asked smartly during breakfast.

Jane almost chocked on her breakfast roll. In the corner of her eyes she could see Maura blush. "Do you want to answer the question?" she teased her and earned a nudge to her side.

"I think you have a better explanation." The blonde stated and made Jane cringe.

Jane turned to face the girls who were following their exchange with interest, sensing that there was a secret.

"Uhhm, there are many things you can do in a room. I mean you are in your room a lot, right?"

Julia nodded. "We sleep, play and sometimes eat in our room."

"You are not supposed to eat in your room." Maura instantly said shooting them a stern look. Like that the topic was off the table.

R&I

"So, how do you want to do it? The good old-fashioned way with a turkey baster?" Jane asked lighthearted as they left the parking lot of the clinic. Maura laughed and slapped her arm. "Jane…!"

"What? I need to know." The brunette grinned.

"First we have to find a sperm donor." Maura tilted her head, still chuckling.

"So, we are really going to this, right?" Jane asked, feeling somehow happy about the news that they had a good chance to have another baby. All her sorrows about the topic had been blown away over the past weeks. And the joy that the test had shown that Jane was still able to carry a child had managed to push all thoughts of Casey to the back of her mind.

As she stopped at a red light she turned to glance at her wife, who had the widest grin on her face. She too was full of happiness. Jane couldn't help but kiss her when seeing the gleam in Mauras eyes. The kiss deepened fast and they only realized that the light had turned green when the driver behind them honked his horn.

Jane rolled her eyes as she shifted into the first gear to leave the crossing, cursing the driver who had interrupted their sweet kiss.

The blonde squeezed her thigh and left her hand there for the rest of the drive. Silence spread as both were following their own thoughts. Janes mind was busy on the topic of the sperm donor. They had talked about it before and Maura had mentioned the sperm bank. Jane had thrown in that she preferred someone they knew rather than some unknown person. "Who knows, maybe the donor is a serial killer." She had said as a joke, sobering up when realizing that Julia's father was indeed a killer.

Maura had just rolled her eyes and pointed out the exact same thing. Then she had suggested to ask Kent if Jane preferred. Then it had been the brunette who had rolled her eyes. She liked Kent, but she just couldn't imagine him being the father of their child. Maura and she were weird enough after all. Adding more weirdness was somehow a scary. They had finally dropped the subject.

Another thought crossed her mind: as cliché as it sounded, but she really favored the turkey baster. A child shouldn't be conceived in a clinical surrounding she thought, but rather at their home when making love. Jane wanted Maura to be part of the process, because it would be their child after all. The clinic would only be their last resort. She shot a quick glance at her partner who was staring out of the window gnawing at her thumbnail.

That's new. She thought. Never had she seen Maura do this before. It hit her that this baby thing would be another challenge for their marriage. There were so many decisions to take. Like always, she thought, they were doing things in another order than would be usual. Usually you get married and have kids. But they had kids, then got married and now they were having a baby. This was just so like them, and it made her chuckle silently.

This caught Maura's attention who turned to her with a questioning look. One eyebrow was raised, and her mouth showed a slight pout. Jane mouthed her thoughts about how they always turned everything upside down and noticed a soft tugging at the corners of her wife's mouth.

All discussions and thoughts were blown away, when they reached Frankie's place, where they picked up two excited girls. "Uncle Frankie is going to teach us baseball." Julia shared the reason for their good mood.

"And he showed us how to climb a tree!" Sophie mentioned, totally over the moon.

"Oh, is that so?" Jane chuckled, noticing a frown from Maura.

"Yes! He is the greatest uncle!" Julia cheered and juddered with her arms in the backseat.

R&I

Jane lay silently in bed and waited for Maura. As always, her nightly routine wasn't as time consuming as Maura's. Her arms were crossed behind her head as she stared blankly at the ceiling. She had a decision to take. And as much as she had been able to forget about it during the day, the dark thoughts crawled back into her mind with the stillness of the night. Her chest felt heavy and she found it hard to breathe.

She lay there for a long time, even after Maura had finally come to bed and they had kissed good night.

"You think I should do it, right?"

Maura's eyes searched hers in the dark.

"Jane…" the blonde started cautiously. "Its not my place to take this decision. I'm not in your shoes. I don't know if I could do it, if it had happened to me."

"Why is it that I feel so ashamed, even if none of this was my fault?" Jane whispered on the verge of tears. Even after a lot of sessions with her therapist she felt guilty and ashamed. The weight on the mattress shifted when Maura rolled to her side to face Jane. She caressed the cheek of the brunette with the back of her hand.

"I don't know Jane. You did nothing wrong. You are the victim. Maybe you should shift your focus on your feelings. It makes you feel weak. But, it only shows how strong you are. Don't you think so? You carried his child and gave a wonderful person to this world. You are a real badass."

Jane sighed and Maura continued after giving her some time to mull over the words. "You always tell victims to speak up. And speaking up might not show people that you are weak. But rather that you are a badass. You did nothing wrong as you said. And facing Casey and telling him could be helpful for healing too. But as I've said, I'm not in your shoes. I can't say what's right or wrong. I can only say that no matter what you decide, I'll be by your side."

Jane nodded into the darkness. Her ever logic Maura had a point there. "I'll tell Cavanaugh on Monday. And I'll go onto the witness stand to talk about it."

Maura hitched a breath at the fierce words. Her hands paused for a few seconds. "I will be there."

The brunette knew that Maura meant it, but she wasn't sure if she wanted her wife to hear her statement. This was still far to personal and she didn't want Maura to hear all the details. But she kept her thoughts quiet for now. She closed her eyes, cupping the blonde's hand on her cheek with her own. This simple touch gave her all the strength she needed right now.