"So, should we start my next quest?" Percy asked
"Wait," A voice called out from where the Weapon's shed is. "I'm quite important in this one,"
"Ah yes you are," Percy agreed
"Have a nice time Clarisse?" Piper teased
"Shut up," Clarisse scowled "At least we lock the door."
"It was one time," Piper defended, blushing alongside her boyfriend
"Are you saying there's been multiple?" Clarisse shot back, raising an eyebrow
"No?" Piper squeaked
"We know it's been more than once, Pipes," Annabeth said "Everyone knows Aphrodite kids make the loudest noises during sex"
"How and why do you know that?" Chiron asked
Everyone from the future unanimously pointed to the Stolls. "Best graph we've made."
"Hades' sons was lot louder than I would have thought" Travis pondered out loud, before he could think.
"Travis!" Nico yelled, summoning some skeletons to chase the son of Hermes around
"I'm sorry!" Travis called out, as he ran away from the skeletons
"6 days in the infirmary unless you put away the skeletons" Will threatened
"He deserves it," Nico whined, not putting away the skeletons
"Then no kisses in the infirmary," Will added
Nico scoffed "We both know that you can't go 1 day without kissing me, so don't kid yourself by threatening 6 days"
Will sighed "You're right, but if you put the skeletons away, I'll make sure the infirmary is empty the next time we go there."
Nico blushed, but put away the skeletons.
Travis came to stop, breathing hard, those skeletons were fast "Thank" -pant- "you" -pant
"Should we start this quest?" Chiron asked, eager to get past the topic of sex
"Sure, it started when I had a dream of my best friend going wedding dress shopping" Percy began
"Annabeth?" TS asked
"No, I'm not involved in that day at all. Though I think you said it would be in about 2 months- time?" Percy said
"Yeah, I've already convinced Artemis to get Thalia and Reyna out of the hunt that day and for they've apparently got a date for the bachelorette party as well." Annabeth agreed
"Yep, and not telling you a single bit about it." Thalia grinned to Annabeth
"How many strippers?" Percy whispered in Thalia's ear
"5, all big tits" Thalia replied, while Percy nodded. Thalia and Annabeth were both boob people. (If you can't tell I headcanon Annabeth as bi, as well as Percy and Rachel. And it's also cannon Piper is bi, so you can bet your ass that I am probably going to reference it somewhere)
"Anyway, it was actually Grover that ran into the wedding dress shop, only for a monster to put his hand into the shop, yelling 'Mine!' Then I woke up." Percy explained
"Aw come on," Travis complained
"You can't tease us like that," Conner continued
"I didn't tease you like that, my dream did," Percy pointed out. "Anyway, when I woke up, I thought I saw a shadow outside of my room. I then got dressed for the last day of the year in school, where Mum then put Murphy's law into practice and said that if nothing went wrong then I would have gone through an entire year without getting expelled."
Many facepalms echoed around the area, including PJ's whose was light-hearted since he was still grinning at the fact that Smelly Gabe was gone.
"Mum also mentioned that it may not have been a good idea to go to camp this year, which I will explain later," Percy said, before getting cut off with questions, "During the day me and my friend Tyson, just went through our lessons, with a few tests. We even set a record for quickest time to complete an exam."
"Really?" Annabeth asked with a disbelieving tone "What was the exam?"
"You had to make an explosion," Percy said grinning.
"Really?" The Stolls asked in unison
"Yep," Percy replied "We did it in 30 seconds. Tyson knocked some chemicals into each other which created it."
Each of the 4 Stolls present turned to each other and said, "We need to go to that school,"
Percy chuckled before continuing his story "When we reached PE, the school bully Matt Sloan, brought some people that would be joining the school next year. Normally I would be fine as Tyson is what? 6? 7 foot?"
"About that," Annabeth confirmed
"So normally having Tyson on your team was the equivalent of having about 20 people. But Matt's friends were all about the same size as Tyson, and there were 6 of them," Percy explained
"Monsters," everyone said in unison
"Canadians to be precise," Percy said
"How many times do I have to say, they are not Canadians," Frank cried out
"What will you do?" Leo asked, "Hold a cardboard sign saying, 'I am a little upset.' in the pouring snow?"
Frank didn't say anything for a second before muttering "Yes,"
"How are you my brother?" Clarisse asked in disbelief "You're supposed to go in and charge at them, before impaling them with your spear for such an insult."
"Love ya too Clarisse," Percy said sarcastically, while Leo gulped, looking worriedly at the daughter of Ares.
"So, Tyson and I defeated most of the Canadians before Annabeth stabbed the last one in the back from behind. She then revealed that she had been following me around all day." Percy explained
"Wait a minute!" Silena cried out "That means she saw you when you were getting dressed,"
Annabeth blushed a bright scarlet colour at the accusation but didn't deny it.
"So how big is he?" Silena asked
Annabeth was about to answer, before Percy stuck his hand in front of her mouth and quickly said "We aren't talking about our sex life right now,"
"Why not?" Clarisse asked "We were just talking about ours"
"And you're not exactly shy with PDA," Piper pointed out
"Hey, we didn't have to create a new rule for camp with our PDA," Percy pointed out.
"So," Clarisse asked, "If that rule wasn't in place, then it would definitely have been put in place after the two of you got together,"
"And what couple was that?" Silena asked, with a mischievous look in her eye.
The people that had met Silena and Beckendorf both snickered. "That would be you," Clarisse told her friend, while Silena went bright red. "Along with Beckendorf."
Both Silena and Beckendorf stared at one another, while the Aphrodite Cabin cheered, as they began to toss money around.
"You were betting on us?" Silena and Beckendorf asked, to which the entire Aphrodite cabin gave a 'duh' look.
"In our time, everyone in camp was in on the bet." Clarisse said
"Almost as much as the Percabeth bet," Travis said absentmindedly
"How much did I win in the Percabeth bet?" Silena asked
Everyone from the Titan War flinched, and quickly decided to say, "We should get back to telling the story," Silena just wore a look of confusion.
"Annabeth dragged me a Tyson through the wall of the gym, where we escaped to Camp Half-Blood using the Grey Sisters Taxi, where they gave me 4 numbers: 30, 31, 75, 12." Percy began, which Chiron frowned at, thinking what the numbers could mean. "When Annabeth, Tyson and I got to camp, we saw it under attack from the Colchis Bulls. They were already attacked from the border control, including Clarisse," Clarisse got a happy grin at her being mentioned "Working together, we defeated the bulls, and then I finally looked past the mist and saw that Tyson was actually a cyclops."
"A cyclops!" Almost all of the past people said in shock
"And probably the nicest cyclops that you could ever meet," Annabeth said
"I know, he is such a sweetie," Piper said, "He's recreating the Sibylline Books with Ella, right?"
Hazel nodded "Ella stole the bookshop in New Rome,"
"Whose Ella?" AC asked
"Tyson's girlfriend," Hazel said
"It was also then that I found out why Mum didn't want me coming to camp," Percy said, ominously, "Thalia's tree had been poisoned, and she was dying."
Everyone who didn't know gasped, and looked over at Thalia, who was currently being cuddled by Reyna.
When Thalia noticed the looks, she just stared back and said "What? I'm fine now," Everyone averted their gaze and turned to Percy
"We got into camp and found out that Chiron had been fired," Percy said bluntly
"Fired!" The people of the past echoed
"Yep," Percy confirmed, "We also got his replacement then as well, Tantalus,"
"From the underworld?" Nico asked
"Yep," Clarisse affirmed "Hated him,"
"Weren't you the one that he favoured?" Travis asked
"Would you be happy if he favoured you?" Clarisse asked back.
Travis made a face and said "Yeah, don't blame you,"
"Later that day, Tyson was claimed by Dad as a Son of Poseidon," Percy said, "And Tantalus announced the only good thing that he ever did,"
"Reintroducing Chariot Races," All of the Greeks said at once
"Those are awesome," Travis said, almost drooling
"Yeah," Conner said, dreamily, definitely drooling.
"But, what about the deaths?" Chiron asked, concerned
"They've been on for a few years now, and nobody has died yet," Percy said, shrugging at the end, "Annabeth and I were supposed to team up for the race, but we ended up having and argument, meaning I teamed up with Tyson, and Annabeth with one of her siblings. In the actual race, a flock of Stymphalian Birds attacked. Annabeth and I managed to get them to stop flying by playing horrible music,"
"Let me guess," Leo said, "Chiron's favourite album, All Time Greatest Hits of Dean Martin,"
Percy grinned, "And it worked like a charm. The Stymphalian Birds, much like everyone else hated the music, and it allowed the Apollo campers to shoot the birds out of the sky. Clarisse won the race, and me and Annabeth got put on kitchen duty, for our 'horrible driving'"
"That probably wasn't helped by you telling him to 'Go chase a donut'" Travis quoted, smirking
"Why?" AC asked
"Tantalus still had his punishment, so he spent the entire race chasing donuts around trying to catch one," Percy said, chuckling, which caused laughter from those who didn't know. "There, Annabeth and I got talking, where Annabeth realised that Grover was where the Golden Fleece was on Polyphemus' Island, and that could be used to heal Thalia's tree."
"How was Grover still alive, as Polyphemus eats satyr's doesn't he?" AC asked
Percy laughed, "I'll let Grover take that one,"
Grover blushed to his ears, and nervously said "I had to lie,"
"And what else did you do," Annabeth pressed
"I may have had to be in a disguise," Grover said, still blushing
"And what was that disguise?" Clarisse asked
Grover mumbled something out incoherently. "What was that?" AC asked
"I had to wear a wedding dress as he wanted to marry me," Grover said, blushing further than his ears. GU heard what Grover said, and was blushing just as much.
There was a couple seconds of silence, with everybody refusing to look at one another, knowing that they would laugh. That lasted until the TS and Travis caught each-others eye's, as well as CS and Conner. The 4 of them burst into laughter, and it wasn't long until everyone else, was while the two Grover's were turning redder and redder at a steady rate, until it wouldn't be long until Drew wouldn't know what colour red they were, and she knew her colours. She had to otherwise she wouldn't be able to put on the right lipstick or wear the right clothes.
It was a long time before they stopped laughing as soon as someone came close to stopping, they would catch another person eye, and it would begin again. This lasted for another couple minutes, until everybody had finished laughing
"Are you done yet?" Grover demanded, still blushing. A couple people giggled, but were silenced when they saw the goat's glare "Good, continue please Percy,"
"Annabeth and I decided that to get a quest for the Golden Fleece, that we had to do it at the campfire." Percy explained "The plan worked, and a quest was given for Clarisse to find the Golden Fleece, after I told her the co-ordinates."
"How did you know the co-ordinates?" AC asked
"The numbers that the Grey Sisters gave me were the co-ordinates," Percy explained
"The information seems to be going through you, so shouldn't you be going on the quest?" Hestia asked
"To any logical person, maybe. But Tantalus isn't logical, so I was given the quest," Percy explained "Later on I went to the beach to think, where a jogger turned up, sat down and offered me a coke. I realised that the jogger was actually Hermes, where he proceeded to give me gifts and encourage me to go on the quest,"
"So, it was Hermes' fault you interfered?" Clarisse questioned, which Percy nodded to in affirmation. "I'm going to have to beat him up for that," Clarisse grumbled.
"Hermes also told me one other thing, and that was if I saw Luke, to tell him that Hermes still loved him and to try and convince him to stop his journey," Percy said looking at Luke. Luke seemed to hear what was being said and chose to ignore it.
"Hermes also showed me a ship that was just passing Camp, before disappearing, and bringing Annabeth and Tyson to the beach. I prayed to Dad for him to send me some transport to get me to the ship, so he sent three hippocampi." Percy explained
"Tyson got very attached to Rainbow," Annabeth mentioned, which Percy nodded to.
"We got on the ship and found a place to sleep for the night. In the morning, we got out of where we were sleeping and started looking about, where we immediately noticed something off with the ship, and it was pretty obvious. All of the people on board were in a drugged like state, and monsters were around the entire ship. Luke was on board the ship and eventually found us. It was also there that we found Chris Rodriguez." People from the past shot dirty looks to both Luke and the two Chris's. Both versions of Chris hung their heads in shame, though CR seemed to hang it half-heartedly. "Luke explained his plan and admitted to poisoning Thalia's tree" The looks at Luke increased "He pointed to a gold sarcophagus and told us that was Kronos, he was being pulled bit by bit from the pit with each person that pledged loyalty to him."
Some of the demigods that heard looked a little sick by what was being described.
"Luke tried to convince us to join him, but we denied. Eventually the three of us escaped on a lifeboat and sailed away. On the way we IMed Chiron, and he told us that he was in Miami, and it was also where we found out I am a human GPS at sea," Percy explained
"How so?" Malcolm asked
"I can tell exactly where we are and how fast we are going when out at sea," Percy explained "Here Annabeth mentioned that we were near Virginia, so she decided to stop at a safe house that she, Thalia and Luke made when they were on the run,"
"I forgot about those," Luke murmured
"We use them occasionally with the hunt," Thalia said
"There, we were attacked by the Hydra, which was then destroyed by Clarisse, who took us into the Sea of Monsters. Clarisse then decided to take a ship that can't go into open waters, into open waters, and then was surprised when the ship started to fall apart." Percy explained as everybody shot looks of disbelief to Clarisse, who looked down sheepishly. "Clarisse decided it would be best if we blew up Charybdis with the cannons, which didn't work, and we were pushed out to Scylla where I was picked up by it. I managed to stab it in the eye, when the ship exploded, and I passed out when I hit the water."
"What about Tyson, Annabeth Clarisse?" Silena asked
"We'll find that out later," Percy explained "I woke up on a lifeboat with Annabeth where she explained that she managed to salvage some things from the explosion but couldn't find anyone else. Eventually land appeared and a girl introduced herself as Hylla – keep that name in the back of your head – and brought us to her boss, C.C. C.C. took Annabeth out to the back and gave her a makeover and decided to turn me into a Guinea Pig."
"A Guinea Pig," Thalia and Nico cried out in laughter, while everyone else burst into their own fits of laughter.
"Hey," Percy protested "I had to complete the rite of passage at some point,"
"I know," Thalia and Nico laughed together, "But a Guinea Pig,"
"At least I could move," Percy pointed out
"What rite of passage?" AC asked
"The rite of passage of every child of the Big 3. They have to change species at least once," Thalia explained, while Jason and Hazel paled, they hadn't passed that rite of passage yet.
"Yeah, Thalia was a Pine Tree, I was a Guinea Pig and Nico was a Dandelion," Percy told AC
"You were a dandelion as well?" Hazel asked Nico
"What do you mean as well?" Thalia and Percy asked Hazel, narrowing their eyes at her.
"I saw Nico get turned into a corn plant," Hazel explained to Percy and Thalia, while Nico held his face in his hands.
"Why did you have to give them more ammo?" Nico whined to Hazel, who just gave him an apologetic look.
"Come on, it isn't too bad popcorn," Percy said
"Popcorn?" Nico asked
"Yeah, now we have to figure out what Jason and Hazel will be turned into," Thalia said while grinning at her other two cousins, who just paled.
"Anyway, eventually Annabeth came back and figured out C.C. was Circe, she ate one of Hermes' multivitamins, which stopped Circe's magic. She gave me and the other Guinea Pigs the vitamins, which reverted us back to normal." Percy explained
"The other Guinea Pigs were actually Blackbeard and his crew," Annabeth said
"So, Annabeth and I escaped, when we set sail on the Queen Anne's Revenge which was still docked in the port," Percy explained
"You stole Blackbeard's ship?" All 4 Stolls cried out, with stars in their eyes. When Percy nodded in agreement, the 4 of them all looked as if they had a new deity to worship.
"But how would you sail it?" AC asked, "The ship is over 100 feet long, and has several different masts,"
"Very easily, Percy can control ships," Annabeth explained
"Now that is cool," Jason said
"Can you do that with planes?" Leo asked Jason
Jason shrugged and said, "I have never tried,"
Leo nodded in acceptance, "We are doing that when we get back," Leo said with a determined gleam in his eyes.
Jason knew better than to argue with Leo when he was like this, and just resigned himself to this fate.
"And with that, we sailed back into the Sea of Monsters. We had to go past the Sirens to get to Polyphemus' island, and Annabeth wanted to listen to them, so I tied Annabeth up, while I put wax in my ears. Annabeth eventually escaped and tried to swim towards the Sirens, when I caught up to her and saved her." Percy explained
"What did you – we – find out?" AC asked
"Our fatal flaw," Annabeth told her "I found out my fatal flaw is Hubris,"
AC nodded along, "That's got to be useful," which Annabeth agreed to.
"After I saved Annabeth, we sailed along until we reached an island, covered with wildlife and plants. I checked for the co-ordinates and saw it was 30, 31, 75, 12," Percy revealed
"That was Polyphemus' island?" many people asked, which Percy, Annabeth, Clarisse and Grover nodded in affirmation.
"We noticed that there was a lifeboat on one of the beaches of the island, however decided that would be too obvious, so we climbed up the cliff face, got past the piranha sheep, and spied into the cave where Clarisse was hanging over a spit roast." Percy said, which Chris growled at slightly and pulled Clarisse closer to him. "Clarisse revealed to Polyphemus that Grover was a satyr, not a female cyclops. Polyphemus decided that satyr would be on the menu for dinner that day of his wedding."
"Wait," Silena called out, "If Grover is no longer the bride, then who is?" At that, multiple people turned to Clarisse, who just burned red in embarrassment.
Chris pulled Clarisse in closer than before, and growled out "My Clarisse," Clarisse was mildly surprised by Chris' protectiveness, but enjoyed it still.
"Annabeth and I managed to break into Polyphemus' cave, where we were able to get Clarisse and Grover out, but Annabeth was injured, so we had to carry her out. Unfortunately, the Piranha sheep were guarding the Golden Fleece, however Tyson fortunately showed up and revealed he survived the explosion as the Hippocampus Rainbow followed him. Tyson led the Piranha sheep away for us to get the Golden Fleece to heal Annabeth and dragged her back our ship. On the way Polyphemus caught up with us. Tyson and I decided to fight him," Percy said
"Where your promptly kicked his ass," Clarisse mentioned
"I didn't kick his ass," Percy said
"You had him on his back in less than a minute," Clarisse said, "That's also when I knew,"
"You knew what?" Percy asked
Clarisse shrugged, "You were the real deal,"
Percy grinned "Cheers Clary,"
Clarisse waved her hand dismissively, "Yeah yeah, now that this sappy shit is over, we can watch the big mistake that you made Prissy,"
"Yeah, well, I let Polyphemus live, though I did nearly blind him again, so he could only get by on sound. We got away on the ship, where everyone was and we started to leave, until Clarisse started to taunt him, by yelling that he missed with the boulders he was throwing." Percy told everyone, while Clarisse looked around sheepishly. "I tried to get Clarisse to stop yelling, but Polyphemus eventually stopped missing, when he hit the ship and it sank. Tyson and I called out to Rainbow and his friends, when they dragged us to Miami."
Chiron nodded along, "All weird things end up in Miami,"
"I got Clarisse to tell me the entire prophecy she got, which was,
You shall sail the iron ship with warriors of bone,
You shall find what you seek and make it your own,
But despair for your life entombed within stone,
And fail without friends, to fly home alone.
I realised that Clarisse would have to take the Fleece back to camp while, the rest of us had to find another way back. Coincidently, Tyson managed to save the money from my backpack, and we gave it to Clarisse, who headed off to camp with the Golden Fleece." Percy explained
"You gave the Fleece to Clarisse?" Leo asked, earning a glare from both versions of Clarisse
"Of course," Percy said, "It was her quest, she had to finish it herself." Percy explained "Anyway, Luke showed up with the Princess Andromeda at that moment where I tricked him into admitting that he poisoned Thalia's tree in front of all of camp by opening an IM behind him. This caused Tantalus to be fired. I then baited Luke into fighting me to give Clarisse time to make her way back to camp. Eventually Chiron rescued us with the Party Ponies-"
"Party Ponies rock!" Travis and Conner both yelled
"Anyway, Chiron and the Party Ponies rescued us and took us back to camp, where Clarisse had put the Fleece on Thalia's tree and it did its work immediately. Next, we had another chariot race, as Chiron kept it up," Percy explained, to which Chiron shook his head at his future self's foolishness.
"Annabeth and I won that race as we teamed up, with the help of a shield that Tyson gave me before the race. It was so good it managed to break a Beckendorf made sword," Percy told everyone, who just stood their in shock. Beckendorf was known for making the best swords at camp, so for one of his swords to break was unheard of. "Tyson later told me that he was going to work down in Poseidon's forges in Atlantis,"
"I thought you said Atlantis didn't exist?" Jason pointed out to Percy
"What I meant by that is that Atlantis was never a city above water," Percy explained to Jason. "My guess is the person who came up with Atlantis just took the name of the city from Dads city, which is named Atlantis. Anyway, later on in the summer, I awoke to hearing a lot of commotion by the border, where everyone saw an unconscious girl. Everyone was in shock, so I stepped forward to help her, and pick her up off the floor. It was then I realised who it was, when she said that she was Thalia, daughter of Zeus,"
"My little Lightning Bug," Reyna said grinning at her girlfriend who tried to glare about the nickname, though failed due to the blush around her cheeks.
"And that is the story of the Sea of Monsters, any questions?" Percy asked.
When nobody said anything, Percy said "Well, then we should go onto the next quest,"