Chapter 25 – Breaking Point
I hate hospitals.
The dreary monochrome hallways: the sickly stench of alcohol and putridly bitter medicinal herbs, bed after bed filled with glazed-over patients as stressed over-worked doctors rush along, busily juggling thirty cases at once trying direly to make sure these people can walk out one day while sustained only by a couple hours sleep.
It's depressing. Coming here is depressing. Sitting here watching Jaune, fourteen stitches threading the back of his head together, as he lies in a bed motionless for hours is… torturous.
After the medics patched his head back together, wrapping a bright white dressing securely around his head, he was taken in for his brain scan which would used to discover whether the damage reached his skull or not. The doctors would've preferred if he were awake for the occasion but, if he has something serious, they'd rather waste no time to uncover it.
They've placed him in one of the single rooms; a temporary allocation. Four of us followed him here: Yang's leaning with her boot up against the wall, Pyrrha's on her Scroll checking for answers, Ruby's grabbed herself one of two chairs, and finally myself sitting in the other positioned right next to the bed.
Notice how none of them are part of Team LABS?
I'm not surprised Blake didn't show. Can't say I'm best pleased about it but, it's not as though she built up the expectation.
Same can't be said for a certain someone…
"Pyrrha?"
"Still nothing, I'm afraid," she replies, peering up from her Scroll. "This is… odd. Weiss is always the one to contact me. I thought she would've sent something back the moment I sent the text."
A text she sent about four hours ago. I think she's made her position on the matter very clear. Weiss probably gave one look at the contents, rolled her eyes, and deleted it. It's not like she has any reason to be here or anything.
I dip my head and whistle hot wind through my nose.
She should be here.
There's a chap at the door.
"Pardon me."
It opens, and the doctor assigned to Jaune's case enters to make his hourly check. He shares a brief individual glance with the four of us before contending his gaze with his unmoving patient.
"Still hasn't woken up yet," he hums aloud. "I take it there hasn't been any other movement?"
"N-no. He's been like this since he was moved," Ruby fidgets in her seat. The doctor scowls mildly, the development out of his hands but still perturbing nonetheless.
"Hm, that's troubling," he says. "His scans are being analysed as we speak. Though, regardless if he's clear, we've decided as a precaution that it'd be best if kept him for a few days to observe him and perform a few more tests."
They want to be certain of his safety. Fine by me, I'd rather they be careful about this than simply perform a couple of tests, raise their arms and yell, 'We're done!' Wouldn't be very professional of them, would it?
Folding his arms in an authoritative manner, he addresses the four of us collectively.
"Now, not that I'm pushing you all out or anything, but you've all been here since he was brought in and, as I understand it, none of you have had a proper meal in hours. It's unlikely that Mister Arc will wake up tonight, unconsciousness after severe head injuries has the potential to last for several days," he explains. "I think it'd be wise if you all returned to the academy for today. We'll keep your teachers updated on his condition and they'll be sure to let you know if there are any changes."
The offer doesn't fly over our heads. One glance at Ruby's churning face and I can tell that she's absolutely famished, the low gurgling rumbles shamelessly from her stomach. The others are keeping it under wraps but, I wouldn't put it past Yang or Pyrrha to be feeling the same way too.
An enhanced appetite – That was one of the prerequisites that came with activating your Aura.
Yang speaks up, "We'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Doc."
The doctor reciprocates the nod and leaves us. He'd be back in an hour to check up on Jaune again whether we leave or not. We four spend a moments time in contemplative silence until finally, Yang steps off the wall.
"Yeah. I'm going to take him up on that offer," she says.
Pyrrha nods, "I agree. That seems like the most sensible course of action."
"Same here. I feel like I haven't eaten anything in months," Ruby adds, standing up from her seat.
It's a fair course of action to take. While I have seen each of them exchange a few words with him here and there, none of them were really obligated to stay this long, I wouldn't have held it against them for leaving earlier. If he were awake, I'd imagine them showing up at all would've meant a lot to Jaune.
As for myself, well, I've already decided.
"I'm going to stay."
Naturally, my decision is met by varying degrees of disapproval from the girls: an uncontained wince of concern from Ruby, a subdued if uncertain curl from Pyrrha and, a pointed look from Yang.
Surprisingly, Ruby's the one to voice their objections, "Eren, I know you're worried about him but, the doctor said-"
"He said it was unlikely – Not impossible," I tell her. "If there's a chance he'll wake up today, I want to be sure that somebody will be there. I'm his teammate and… we do talk a lot. It should be me."
The last thing I'd want if I were in his position would be to wake up in a dark empty hospital room, unconfused and all alone. I can't imagine him being fully coherent after being rattled like that. If someone were here to explain things to him, it might make things easier for him to digest.
Besides, I know I'll only worry no matter what I do. At least if I worry here instead of at Beacon, I can be of some use with it.
"What about dinner? You haven't eaten anything either," she asks.
I wave her off, "I'll grab something from the common-room when I get back."
If I even have the urge, that is. For as hollow as my stomach feels, the thought of filling it makes me wretch.
The three of them continue to stare at me, still unconvinced despite my insistence. I try to placate them with a small smile, "Guys, really, it's fine. Go on without me. I'll let him know you came to see him if he wakes up."
After a moment, Pyrrha's the first to step back though, I don't think it's because I fully won her over. There's a hint of slight awkwardness to her step, as though she doesn't fully agree with herself but resigns herself to it out of politeness. I suppose we don't know each other that well. She must not feel all too comfortable with telling me what I should be doing.
A courtesy that Ruby is more than willing to enact, "But how will you-"
"If you're sure, we'll head off then."
The pair of us snap up at Yang, the redhead's eyes shooting wide open. She yelps, "Y-Yang?!"
I'm barely able to contain my shock myself. Between the pair of them, I would've pegged Yang as the more steadfast one. Sure, she relented earlier before the fight but so did Ruby. That was mutual decision, one made with a promise that they've yet to cash in on. Really, I half-expected her to scoff 'Yeah, no,' throw me over her shoulder and carry me all the way back to Beacon.
That's… curious.
Yang shares a look with her sister, an almost knowing glint in her eyes. They're having one of their telepathic talks again. Whatever's they're discussing, it's enough for a flash of comprehension to pass between her sibling's perplexed disposition. With a reluctant huff, Ruby nods and lets the issue drop.
Yang turns, gazing at me, her eyes hardening somewhat as though she's seeking something from me. Her face is carrying a dissatisfied grimace, but it lacks real severity and force behind it. It's almost exactly like the one right before Jaune's match, when we agreed to…
Ah, it clicks. I think I understand now.
Despite being crammed into this tiny room for several hours, neither of them had pushed me to make good on my promise from before. It was a mercy, one I'm gracious for. I wasn't in the… right headspace after what had happened. If they pressed so soon, god, my head would've been all over the place.
Yang isn't the type to let things go easily. She left it out of consideration, not forgetfulness, but I'm only being let go for the moment. I'm not being let scot-free. She wants me to know that.
I breathe a sigh, "I know. I haven't forgotten."
"Everything. You're going to tell us everything as soon as you get back," she says decisively.
My lips tug a grimace, but I quickly smooth it out. Don't whine, it's more time than I had before. Just think of it as an extension.
I bob my head pensively. She reciprocates, "Call us if anything comes up."
"Yeah. Sure thing," I reply.
Yang unfolds her arms and turns around. Nudging her head, she signals the other girls towards the door, "Let's go guys."
The partners share a glance. Neither of them seem fully content with what's happening but, I can see they're easing themselves into accepting it little by little. Ruby steps forward and puts a hand on my shoulder, smiling softly at me. I smile back. If Yang hadn't said it first, I'm sure Ruby would've said everything she just did.
Hearing her sisters rustling backpack, Ruby backs away and collects her own schoolbag, ready to leave.
Pyrrha picks up her own bag and follows the sisters outside when she stops and… lingers. She peers over her shoulder and gazes down at the sleeping Jaune. After a long couple of seconds, the redhead turns her attention to me. Sympathy glistens in her eyes.
"He seems like a nice guy," she says solemnly. "He didn't deserve what happened to him."
"…No," I say, gazing down at him. "He didn't."
Pyrrha stays a few moments longer before the door shuts behind me and I hear footsteps begin to ring out against the hospital floor. From here on in, it's just me, my teammate, and a gloomy hospital room. More reason to stay, really.
The last airship to Beacon is late in the evening, and it's currently still late in the afternoon. I have the time to stay for a few more hours.
In the meantime, I sit in silence.
Occasionally, I flip out my Scroll to browse the internet, or play a few installed apps or, generally just do something to distract myself. After the first hour, the doctor comes in to check up on him for a minute or two then heads away for his other cases. He doesn't so much as bat an eye when he finds out that I stayed. It's a typical affair for him, I'm certain. Wish I felt the same…
I take a look at the bandage around Jaune's head and I find myself glaring at it.
That shouldn't be there. There's no reason for it to be there. Jaune hadn't done anything to warrant it, he even lost the match, and yet Cardin still…!
From the disquiet murmurs from my classmates who saw, Jaune was going to pick up his sword when Cardin struck. Attacked him from behind. Two hands. Never had a chance to react.
If Professor Goodwitch doesn't tear that bastard limb from limb, I'm gonna…!
Red flashes before my eyes.
I realise that my nails are digging into the wooden portion of the chair's frame. I pace a few breaths, and a couple more after them, before I release in. My insides feel like they're burning up. It's becoming a struggle trying to keep everything in…
A pang of dread suddenly spikes inside me. His sword!
"Shit! Crocea Mors!"
Everything happened so quickly, I completely forgot about Jaune's sword! Damn it, that's his family heirloom. Several generations of family history are in that blade! How could I be that thoughtless?!
Twat! You're a twat, Eren! A brainless twat of a moronic idiot!
I have to secure it before he wakes up but, in the time it'll take me to reach Beacon, find the sword, and come back, it'll already be time for me to leave. He might've even woken up during that duration, and then what was the point of me staying in the first place?
I rub my forehead. What to do? I don't want to leave him alone, but I sure as hell don't want Crocea Mors left somewhere in the arena either.
…It bothers me to ask, but I think it's better if I ask Ruby and Yang for help.
I take out my Scroll and hastily type up a text.
'Hey guys. Forgot about Jaune's sword and shield. Left it in arena. Hate to ask, could you guys grab it for him? It's important.'
Send. Half a minute later, I'm pinged back.
'Sure thing!'
I breathe a sigh of relief.
'Thanks, guys. I owe you one.'
That's a weight off my mind. Makes things more convenient too. They're already back at the academy by now so, they should be able to swing by the arena fairly quickly.
What am I even stressing out about? If it's not there, it'll be at the lost and found. Beacon staff wouldn't just leave a stray sword lying around, not in a public place. One way or another, the girls will find it, and everything will be okay.
Unless someone stole it.
…I rub a hand through my greasy hair. I feel sick. Probably the stress, or the lack of eating, or the lack of sleep, or the fact I worry too much, or all of them. Probably all of them.
I need a drink.
Luckily for me, I don't have to go far to find myself a water cooler. There's one situated barely a small walk down the corridor, in-between the wards where the bustling traffic of hustling nurses are constantly on green light. Taking and levelling one of the offered plastic cups alongside it, I press the button and purified water fills it full.
I down the lot in one go, gasping like escaping steam afterwards.
Oh, that hits the spot. I'd still take cola any day of the week but, icy refreshing water has never done me wrong. Wouldn't have gotten through my Standard Grades sane without it.
I'll have myself another cup or two, refill it again, and then head back to Jaune.
It's as I finish off my second cup that I notice a scruffy patch of dark purple hair popping out from behind what appears to be a laptop Scroll variant, more notebook looking really, belonging a figure hunched over in her chair. If the hair isn't enough to tip me off, the girl Beacon uniform certainly does.
Same girl from class, Yang's partner. The narcoleptic. She's the one that jumped down to apply medical attention to Jaune after the incident.
Beneath her chair is a cup of coffee and a small pile of large chunky books. Based on their colour palettes, I'm willing to bet that they're educational in nature. Studying material? Would think so but, Beacon's books have a warmer palette to them, easily identifiable in comparison to the textbooks I got back at high school. Those are from another organisation. Why does she have those? Why is she studying in the middle of a hospital? Why do none of the nurses around here seem to care?
And why, oh why does her torso have to lean forward like that while she's still upright?! Her spine must be screaming for mercy right now. Bleh!
She's totally asleep again, isn't she? I don't even have to ask.
She can't stay like that; her chiropractor will be living off her until retirement. Someone should really wake her up.
…I sigh gently. Well, who else if not me? I need to thank her for helping Jaune anyway so, yeah. Gotta go do, y'know, the talking… thing. Yeah.
Deep breaths, Liddell. Deep breaths.
Downing another cup as though it's scotch, I bottle up my anxiety and push forward towards the sleeping girl. I stop beside her, a nasally snore gurgling from her throat. Yeesh.
"U-um, Miss?" I prompt gingerly.
No response.
Gently, and with much hesitation, I reach out a hand to rouse her, "E-excuse me. Miss?"
The sleeping girl jolts awake, giving me the fright of my life as I lurch back with a yelp. Within seconds, the girl expression quickly contorts from shock to irritation. I half expected her to swerve on me and start chewing me out but, instead, she decides to do something… unexpected.
Without warning, the girl reaches into her right sleeve and begins tugging at something once. Twice. Three times and pulls out…
A shock band. She was wearing a shock band, no bigger than a common wrist watch. It even has a pulse monitor screen on the front of it. She was wearing that thing the entire time she was asleep.
That's… yeah, that's definitely normal. Okay.
"Tch. Told her it was a load of crap," the girl drones tiredly. A single half-hearted toss sends the accosted device straight into one of the faraway bins. She looks at the Scroll screen and clicks her tongue. "And now I'm behind. That's perfect."
Now is the time I choose to speak up.
"U-um…"
The girl sets her infuriated glare upon me, "What? What do you want?"
"N-no, nothing," I stammer, backing away. She's clearly high-strung and not in a great mood. I have to deal with one crabby girl seventy percent of the time, I'd rather not get on the bad side of yet another one. "Uh, s-sorry for disturbing you."
I turn away to leave. She's already awake, I can just give her my thanks later.
"Hold up," the girls call out and I cautiously turn around. She groans exasperatedly and rubs her eyes. "That came out wrong. It's not you, it's the lack of caffeine talking."
Drowsily, the girl plucks her coffee from beneath the chair. She takes a sip which is immediately spat right back into the cup. Stone cold. Thought it might be. Absent-mindedly, the sleepy girl chucks the cup over her head right into the same bin from before. One-handed. Both times. Good arm on her.
Sighing and rubbing her temples, the girl looks up at me and I finally have a decent look at the choppy plum haired girl.
Bright lime green eyes undermined by bags so weighty it'd put my entire family to shame, an unhealth complexion paler than half the folks back home and, while topping at a decent height for any ordinary young woman, she's so malnourished and brittle that I feel fatter just being around her. 'Unhealthy' fits her to a tee.
"You're Liddell, right? Eren Liddell," she says.
I straighten up, "Y-yes. That's right, and you're, uh, Yang's partner. Um, I-I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."
"Heather Bloom," she answers with a yawn. Before continuing, Heather dips down and nabs one of her books off the floor. She hurriedly flicks through the pages, balancing her ScrollBook between her thighs during the process, until she finds the correct page and then places the Scroll opposite it. Good thing the book is so big and the Scroll, well, isn't.
She begins furiously typing, eyes firmly on the screen as she talks, "So, what can I do you for, Liddell? If you've come up to strike up a chat, make it quick. I've got work to do and about thirty-five minutes worth of studying to catch up with."
Best not to waste too much of her time then, I shuffle in place, "W-well, um, I-I wanted to thank you. For helping Ja- Uh, my teammate today. If you hadn't been ther-"
"No thanks."
I blink, "S-sorry?"
"The sentiment's nice and all but, I didn't help out your teammate looking for a grand parade in my honour. The guy was bleeding out. I was there. I jumped in to help. That's it," she says simply, glancing up at me. "If you have to thank someone, thank the Infirmary team. Something tells me those guys don't nearly get the gratitude they deserve."
I… never really thought about that, honestly. The Infirmary team sort of dropped out of my mind the moment Jaune was sent off to the hospital. I never really considered giving them my thanks for all they did for him.
Hah, she really wasn't kidding about the lack of appreciation. Poor sods.
I nod, "F-fair enough. I'll be sure to do that."
"How's your friend holding up?" Heather asks. I unconsciously start rubbing my wrists.
"U-um. He's still sleeping."
"Some guys get all the luck," she says drily. I feel the urge to glare at her, but I resist it. It's not like she's trying to pick a fight or anything. Even if she is being annoyingly candid.
"I wouldn't worry about it. Prolonged unconsciousness after blunt force trauma might normally be a sign of brain injury but, your friend isn't normal. He's a Huntsman-in-training. The guy can't swing a sword to save his life, but he had a lot of Aura and that kind of quantity doesn't just go away."
"You… sure sound confident about it," I remark cautiously.
"That's because the personnel here don't fully understand Aura," she says. "Nobody really does. Not even the 'revolutionary' big wigs up at Atlas understand the full effects it has on a person, and they pride themselves on global advancement. Heh. Bet that drives them insane."
I raise an eyebrow, failing to understand how a lack of comprehension is supposed to calm me. Heather clears her throat, sliding her Scroll aside and giving me her full attention.
"Point is, Aura is unpredictable. It's screwed up a lot of medical cases in the past because the Doctors here can't always account for it. Ask the A and E team. Seriously. They get hit by it more than anyone else. One minute they get a call about a kid who apparently broke their arm, the next they get a cancellation because the kid only thought it was broken." Her expression deadpans. "Turns out eleven-year old Combat school students are morons. Who knew."
Not going to argue with her there. Though, despite the… obvious emotional problems those kids have, that sounds remarkably similar to what happened to me in the Emerald Forest. When the Ursa crushed me with those trees; I thought my spine snapped in two. I couldn't feel my legs until my Aura kicked in afterwards. It repelled the damage it could've done just fine but the pain…
Wait. Is that it?
"Are you saying that Jaune's skull only felt the pain and nothing actually hit it?"
"No. We don't know when exactly his Aura burst, if it was immediately after the blow or if it was when he hit the wall," she corrects. "What I'm saying is that it's a possibility, and that you shouldn't be quick to count your friend done and brain-dead."
Heather lays a single finger against her check and smirks. Or is that her attempt at a smile? Doesn't seem natural, "Have a little faith in the guy, got it? He might not be able to fight worth a damn but, he's surprisingly resilient. If you count on him for anything, it's taking shots and coming back from them."
Hm. Yes. He's not one to back down so easily once he's committed, isn't he?
Her mirth suddenly drops, and she eyes me. "Also, if he turns up at the infirmary in less than a month or so, the team's going to strap him to a medical bed and he's going to have to attend classes in it for the rest of the year."
The fact that she said that in total seriousness is making me very glad I'm not a big fighter.
"A-ah, noted," I say, failing to hide my stutter. "I-I'd best get back to him then. Thank you, um, Heather."
"Sure," Heather says, moving her ScrollBook back into place. "Oh, one last thing. Your teammate, the black-haired girl? She popped by earlier."
Blake?
Blake… showed up?
"She left about an hour ago. Caught her as she was talking to Rowa-" She coughs, "I mean, your teammate's doctor. She scampered off after that. Little Miss Bowgirl isn't as subtle as she likes to think she is."
The utter bewilderment upon my face is palpable. Heather looks at me and rolls her shoulder, "Thought you should know. I'm going to get back to work. Nice talking with you, Liddell."
"…Y-yeah. You too."
As I walk away, rampant key clicking resounding through my ears, I find it difficult to connect the dots. Blake's appearance by itself is a surprise, yes, but she only left about an hour ago – Not too long after the girls left. How long had she been here for?
No. The real question here is: Why didn't she come in? She knew who Jaune's doctor was, she made the effort to check up on him, why didn't she come in to check on him in person? Why the need for distance? I understand she's avoiding Weiss, understandable, but she wasn't there? What was stopping her. It's not like she gives a shit what anybody would think of her.
I… think?
I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. People are so bloody confusing.
Ah, well, at least she made the effort to make sure he was okay. Not how I would've liked it but, best not to get greedy. She was here. She checked. That's enough. Minimalistic but enough.
Better than what can be said for Weiss.
My Scroll vibrates. I slide it open and my eyes immediately seize on a text message. Yang has finally updated me on their venture.
Unfortunately, the news isn't as I hoped.
'Sword wasn't in the arena. We went asking prof. goodwitch and some of the other guys but nobody's seen it. Sorry Eren.'
I hold back a violent curse. Dread sticks to my ribcage like acid, the sudden rush of optimism I had earlier eroding and dissipating within seconds. Fearing that my distress would reflect upon them, I quickly type back a reply.
'Not your fault. I'll let him know. Thanks for looking, guys.'
Time trickles slower and slower the longer I stay in this room.
For the next couples of hours, I try to kill as much of it as I possibly can: Rummaging on my Scroll, shutting my eyes a few times, counting the ceiling tiles, pacing in place, I even try playing rock paper scissors at one point with my own hands because, yes, I'm truly that far deep in mental purgatory. After needing to switch my Scroll to low power to allow for emergency calls, every other option for entertainment had been exhausted and all I have left are my thoughts. Something I've been trying to avoid for obvious reasons…
Crocea Mors.
I sigh, bucking my Scroll against my skull a few times. I shouldn't linger on this but, Christ, I'm idiot and I don't listen to myself enough. This never would've been a problem had I just kept an eye on the damn thing in the first place. I knew how important it was to his family, I should've been more aware. More alert. Not seething stupidly at Cardin.
Jaune's going to be distraught when he-
"H… ah…"
I stop. Immediately. Dry air croaks from a dusty throat as royal blue eyes begin creaking open, squinting and blinking blindly, as if to search around for something familiar.
They land on me. They widen slightly in recognition.
"Er… Eren?"
"Jaune?"
Improbability dies quietly, and I leap up in elation, "Y-you're awake!"
"Wha… Wh-what is… What's going… What is this-" Hampered by his dazed state, he reaches up to investigate the back of his head, to where his stitches are, but my hand shoots out instinctively to stop him before he reaches it.
"N-no, no! Don't. Don't touch that. Okay?" I say soothingly, carefully lowering his arm. "Um, you're in Vale's Grand Hospital. You were in an incident. Do you remember?"
He stares vacantly at me. That's a no, then. Probably still under the aftereffects of that concussion he's sporting. Definitely not a good sign.
"L-look, uh, sit there for a moment. I'll go call the Doctor so, ju-just wait for, ah, a couple of moments and," I swipe his arm back down. "Leave it alone, and I'll be right back. Alright?"
"…O-okay?" He… queries?
Yeah, the sooner a professional takes over, the less hazardous this whole scenario will be. Don't want his brain to crack right after he's woken up.
I rush out the door, urgency pumping my heart, and pry the doctor away from one of his many write-ups and practically drag him all the way back to Jaune. From there, the doctor checks to see how comprehensive Jaune truly is and when he is satisfied, and even somewhat impressed, with his recovered, provides him an abridged version of what happened to him and what they're planning on doing.
Jaune is disturbingly stoic throughout the whole but, flashes of life in his eyes indicate that he is indeed listening. The doctor promises to return later once his brains had time to recover a little more and that he'll explain what exactly they're planning to do to help him.
After receiving a subdued nod, the doctor leaves the pair of us alone.
Jaune's… quiet. Almost mute, even. It's unnerving. Not that I'd consider him a chatterbox by any means but, quiet is by no means his normal. The only other time I've seen him so quiet is, well…
Hospital bed or trash bin: Doesn't seem so different from where I'm sitting.
"Did she come by?" He speaks, finally.
A knot tightens in my back. The terminology is intentionally vague, we both know who he's talking about. I hesitate to answer.
"Um, Ruby, Yang, and Pyrrha were here earlier," I supply with a forced smile. "They had to head away about a few hours ago but, they stuck around since what happened to make sure you were alri-"
"Eren," he interrupts me with a pleading look. "Please."
My smile disappears and a grimace takes its place, "…I'm sorry."
He winces and stares down at his bed. I understand this kind of reaction was inevitable, no thanks to Weiss, but I had to try to dissuade it somehow. Even if it's only a little. Seeing Jaune this dishevelled…
Well, it doesn't make what I have to tell him any easier.
"That's another thing," I say. "It's, um, it's about Crocea Mors."
"My sword…?" He blinks, as if I momentarily switched languages. Then, as his pupils dilate in realization, he jolts up. "Eren, where's my sword? Where's Crocea Mors?!"
"W-we don't where it is," I tell him, thumbs fiddling. "Ruby and Yang asked around but…"
"No…" A pained expression flares up on his face as he lets his head dip into his hands. He begins massaging it furiously, a thick hot despairing breath escaping his throat. "No. No. Come on." Just the poor reaction I expected.
"I-it was in the arena," I say hastily. "Th-that's practically the most public facility on campus. Someone would've found it. It'll turn up!"
"Today's been bad enough as it is, I can't have lost the family sword too!"
"I-it's not lost! It… We just don't have it right now," I say, trying to instil as much hope into him as much as possible. It doesn't matter if it's genuine or even if it's uncomfortable, I push it out. "It's still in the Academy somewhere. I'll find it. Jaune, I promise you we'll find Crocea Mors."
Jaune stops rubbing.
He glances at me, expression unreadable from behind his uncurled fingers. My words seem to have reached him but, I can't discern what effect exactly they've had. By the time he finally lets his arms drop, Jaune is almost eerily stoic. He leans back against his pillow, whistles a sigh through his nostrils, head down as he stares at his bed with glazed-over eyes.
Again, I'm feeling the horrible shudder of déjà vu. Should I be satisfied for stopping him before he got any worse or concerned that it did and all I've done is made him hide it?
Stoic Jaune is not a man I'm experienced in handling. Hell, I can barely handle normal people.
For a short while after, I leave him be to his thoughts. The guy's already taken a couple of emotional blows to the gut already, he needs a little more time to recover mentally before we talk some more.
The lack of offered small talk from either of us is low-key freaking me out, though. Is this what an extrovert feels like talking to me? I'm beginning to pity them.
"I've made up my mind," Jaune says suddenly.
I peer up from my Scroll, "Hm? What's up?"
"I'm leaving Beacon."
Something must've lodged its way into my ear there, or I hadn't fully diverged my attention from my Scroll because there is no he'd say that. I straighten myself up and wring whatever excess wax is clogging my eardrums.
"Uh, sorry. Blacked out for a second. Ahah," I laugh awkwardly. "What did you say?"
"I said I'm quitting. I'm going to fill out a leaver form, hand it to the headmaster, and that'll be that. I'll be gone by the end of the week."
He says all of this seriously. Very seriously. I scan his features for any hint of mirth, any inclination that he doesn't really mean it, and this is just another poor attempt at improper humour, like he'd done back at the alley.
Nothing. He's not acting. He really means it. He… He wants to leave Beacon. He's going to leave LABS.
Shock dulls my senses. He can't- There's no- How could he even consider… My brain tumbles around, trying to comprehend why he throw it all away like this. This is all far too out of the blue, there's no way this is a fully conscientious decision.
Shit. Shit.
I have to stop him!
"You-" His injury. Remember his injury. "You're not thinking clearly. You took a bad blow to the head, you're dazed and-and scared. This isn't- You don't really mean that."
"No, Eren. I do mean it. I was already thinking about it before my… fight," he winces, quite clearly recalling the memory now. It only serves to make his determination firm. "And I've thought about it long enough. This is the right thing to do."
"Is this because you didn't beat Cardin?" I enquire, pouncing on the subject. "Jaune, y-you shouldn't be beating yourself up over that. Sure, you didn't win but, you should be proud you had the guts to-to challenge him in the first place. There were even a couple of classmates that were impressed by how you did. You-you-you did your best."
"My… best? My best, huh." He repeats the words flatly, tone slowly curdling into something sharp and dark. Then, he glares bitterly at me. "And what did my 'best' get me, Eren? What did I really accomplish in all this?"
"U-um…" I stumble. A lump expands in my throat as my mind is made aware of how truly short that list really is.
Jaune doesn't wait for my answer. He goes off.
"Well, let's see here: Cardin didn't take me seriously through half of it, when he finally did, he totalled me, Weiss wasn't impressed, I got smeared across the class wall, I'm in a hospital. I've got fourteen stitches sticking out of the back of my head and apparently, there's a chance I could have some serious specially-named mental trauma from it and to top all of that big bag of fun off, I lost the fight! Oh! And I lost Crocea Mors!"
Chest pumping, he gives himself a sardonically exaggerated celebratory clap, "Amazing. Just fantastic! What a great effort that was on my part! Wow. I mean, wow! My best is something else!"
He spits out a scoff, chugging out poison from under his breath as he scowls frustratedly at himself.
Great. All I've done is made him agitated. I still my shaking hands, "Oh… Okay. I-it didn't go perfectly-"
"It sucked. It sucked hard. I'm not surprised Weiss didn't show after a performance like that. She was right," he growls and shakes his head. "She was right all along. I'm not good enough. I thought I could prove her wrong, but I've only made myself look like even more of an idiot."
Weiss. Again. Why does she have to make everything worse?
"Weiss is wrong!" A uncontained burst of anger burns through my words and swiftly fizzles out. "Y-you… you were accepted into this academy ju-just like me! Like everyone else! Professor Ozpin himself picked you. Out of everyone from the Entrance Exam! Even if Weiss doesn't think you're good enough, the headmaster does."
"He didn't really pick me," he says bitterly.
I'm incredulous, "Jaune, he's the one that received all the transcripts from the Entrance Exam. This is his Academy. As far as I know, he was the main, if not the sole, decider on who gets into his academy. He picked you."
"No, he didn't. He didn't pick the real me! Everything I wrote on that damn transcript was a lie!"
…A harrowing second of silence passes. Horror presses against my lungs.
"Jaune. What are you saying?"
He sighs, "The transcript Professor Ozpin got was a forgery I managed to sneak it. I didn't go to combat school, I never went to the Entrance Exam, it wasn't written by any official examiners. Everything on that transcript was mimicked and written by me." He looks me weakly in the eye. "I… I cheated, Eren."
I… take a moment, to let the revelation settle. Jaune gazes at me intently, chewing his mouth, gauging for some kind specific reaction, "You don't look that surprised."
"I… I didn't know, but I felt something wasn't quite right," I admit, lowering my head.
The more the idea begins to settle, the less… jarring it feels. I wasn't entirely truth when I told Weiss I never really thought about it. I did. I irritated it when it did but, my mind has lingered on it for an extensive amount of time. As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, if not solely because I was accepted, Jaune's combat ability… just doesn't measure up to the Academy's standards.
Jaune isn't a good fighter. I hate it. I really hate admitting but, him cheating to get in makes too much sense for it not to be the truth.
"I knew it was wrong. I knew I would've been taking a spot away from someone else who deserved it but, I couldn't let it go. There was no way I would've been selected if I actually took the exam and I-" He swallows. "Eren, you've gotta understand. I needed this. I've been dreaming of attending Beacon for years. I've trained all by myself for years just for the chance to become a Huntsman. The last four generations of the Arc family were warriors, they were soldiers, they were great, they were respected, they saved lives and I wanted that! I wanted to live up to all that. I wanted to be proud of who I was, but I was never good enough."
My head snaps up. I leap up. An opportunity to turn things around is presenting itself and damn if I'm not going to grab it.
"Th-then stay!" I plead. "If you were so desperate to become a Huntsman in the first place, then stay!"
He shakes his head, "I can't."
I lean forward, hands planted on the bed, "Jaune, man, I know you feel guilty about cheating but, what's done is done. You've only been here a week. If you stay longer, you're bound to get stronger, I-I promise. Just please, stay with us!"
"I can't get you all killed!"
My willpower falters. Jaune rounds on me with intensity brimming in his eyes, "I wanted to become a hero and protect people! I can't put the rest of you in danger just because I want to play pretend. That's the last thing I want. I'd never forgive myself if you all died!"
I take my hands away, tucking my head. I recall Weiss saying that to him before. I hoped that he'd figure she was just saying things and he didn't look too into it. From that sour expression on his face, I realise that I've been too wishful.
"I thought I could've measured up, that I could've caught up with you guys. I suppose that's why I wanted Weiss to accept me so badly, like it would validate me. That it would justify what I've done to get here in the first place," he says, joyless. He grasps a handful of his duvet. "But really, I was just in denial. What I've been through this last week only made me realise how out of my depth I really am: The Beowolves, the Nevermore, Cardin; even he could see that I wouldn't be able to hang here."
Cardin…
Jaune laughs hollowly, "No wonder everyone laughs at me. I'm such a joke."
"Jaune-"
"No. It's over. I'm leaving Beacon, and that's final. Some dreams aren't meant to come true, man and if becoming a Huntsman means endangering the lives of everyone I fail to defend, then mine shouldn't happen either." He exhales deeply. "I know that now. Maybe… Maybe that's a good thing. I should've moved on from this a long time ago. I might not even have a choice after I get those scans back."
His posture turns haggard. He looks haggard, rundown, and utterly defeated.
I open my mouth to say something: An objection, a compelling argument, a simple 'No,' anything that would instantly turn this whole damn scenario around and he'd just say, 'You're right. I'm being stupid. Give me twenty minutes and I'll come back with you to Beacon.'
I don't care that he cheated. Had I been in his situation, had I not had the luck to have the advantages that I did, I probably would've done the exact same thing he did. I don't care.
But one last long at his crestfallen frame, withdrawn and closed-off, I realise that it's already too late.
He's given up. The man who didn't give up on his dream to go to Beacon, the man who didn't run away when he knew this career would mean certain death, the man who didn't back down even when Cardin was decimating him, is giving up now.
And there's nothing I can say that will convince him anymore.
"At least my Mom's going to be happy to see me back. Heh," he chuckles sadly to himself. He scratches his head. "Ahh, that feels way more depressing that it sounded."
Damn it…
Several knocks at the door. Jaune's doctor pops and, with a curious brow, surveys the pair of us.
"Am I interrupting something?" He asks.
Right. He did say that he would be back to explain how things were going to work for him, didn't he? I suppose it's just been that long.
"You better go, Eren," Jaune tells me.
Silently, I pick up my school-bag and make my way to the door, ignoring the pointed look from the doctor. The weight of the bag barely registers as it slaps into my shoulder-blades. Nothing's registering right now. I feel like I'm drifting rather than walking. It's like a dream where all your senses just die. I barely even feel conscious. Is this failure? No. I recognise failure. This isn't it. Failure is overwhelming. I don't know what this is.
As I'm beyond the doorframe, Jaune calls out one last thing.
"Tell Weiss I'm sorry for wasting her time."
It takes me everything I have not to drive my fist through one of those dreary monochrome walls.
A/N: God. This chapter took way too long. It's in due part to a scene that was pushed back to the next chapter which took up way too much time in the first place but, still, I wanted the Bully Arc to be finished by the end of the Summer. I am a lazy bastard people. Shame me.
Well, even without the extra scene, this chapter still wasn't easy. We have the introduction for first proper RWBY OC in the story, Heather Bloom. Definitely be sure to let me know your impressions of her so far. And there's the obvious Jaune scene where he has a full-blown breakdown. Because I've treated him so well this arc, might as well take his hopes and dreams away from him too. Anyone still buying that I don't hate this guy? Me neither.
So, what do you guys think of the story so far? Any thoughts on the new character? Good? Bad? Be sure to let me know in the reviews. Constructive criticism is encouraged.