Chapter Sixteen:
'What happened? I died, didn't I? Is this heaven?' Kagome looked up at the star-covered sky. It was dark out and the only light was from the moon and the billions of balls of light. She felt...peaceful. All the pain she remembered before she died, was gone. She reached over and touched her shoulder, there was no scar and no blood. Yup, she was dead.
Kagome inhaled softly and relaxed. 'ok, this isn't so bad.' she shivered as a cold breeze hit her. "If this is heaven, why the hell is it so cold?" That was a little weird.
"If this was Heaven, this one is sure that you would smell better."
Kagome sat straight up, ignoring the cold she felt on her upper body. "Sesshomaru? Did you die too?" She knew he was a good guy deep down, but she was surprised he was in heaven. She looked at his kneeled over form and touched his shoulder. His head came up slowly and she gasped at the look of joy on his face. 'If we're dead, why the hell is he so happy?'
She opened her mouth to ask him, but a squeal came out instead. Before she could even blink, she was wrapped in his embrace. She felt his body shiver slightly and didn't hesitate to hug him back.
"Sess? What's going on? Are you ok?" She whispered to him.
She could feel him take a deep breath and release it. He seemed to need a minute so she sat and enjoyed the warmth coming from him.
"My sword would not revive you. I had never felt so hopeless in my many years of life." He bent down and nuzzled her neck, smelling her with no hint of death. He smiled as she giggled. She was alive.
"That tickles, ass!" She laughed out, but let him continue. It was a comfort to her as well as him. "What happened? Am I really dead? It doesn't feel like it?"
Pulling her closer he rested his cheek on the top of her head. "I have not wielded tenseiga enough to know all of its secrets. To me, the sword was always a slap in the face from my father. It was useless, so I never really thought about how it works." He inhaled again. "I did not realise what a gift it was until it would not work for me." He looked down into her eyes. The stars reflected in the clear blue and he was mesmerized for a second. "I feared you were lost forever."
Kagome had never seen Sesshomaru act like this. He had all his walls down and she strangely felt honored that he could be this way with her. But, she was still confused about what he was trying to tell her. "So, how am I still alive? Am I alive?"
He smiled gently at her. "I walked back to this clearing where you died. It was then that I understood, your body had been moved, but your soul lingered here. My sword did not work before, because even though your body was there, your soul was not." He took a minute to calm his emotions. "In order to revive you, you need to be one with your spirit. When I laid you there, the sword awakened."
Kagome nodded putting the pieces together. In order for tenseiga to work, your body needed to be where you died. Apparently, someone moved her after she died. She held on to him trying to comfort him. She could only imagine the pain he had felt when he could not revive her.
"Thank you Sess, if you hadn't figured it out...I would still be dead. I'm sorry you had to go through that though." They held on to each other for a little while longer, neither wanting to break the peace of the moment. It took a while but Kagome started to remember something.
"Ummm, am I naked?" She was afraid to check, but she already knew the answer.
Sesshomaru barked out a laugh as he hugged her. "Yes, do not worry though Miko, there is nothing to see anyway." He laughed again as she hit him.
"Fuckin dog." She mumbled as he laughed. She felt him move as he removed his outer kosode. She quickly tied it around her before relaxing again.
"I remember feeling so helpless." She said softly. "That demon had me trapped in my barrier and I didn't know what to do. I kept thinking how mad you were gonna be at me, all that training..." She shook her head. "When Kikyo came, I was relieved." She felt him stiffen under her and stroked his hair to relax him. "I wanted to prove myself, but...if she hadn't been there... Anyway, so when she started saying all of these awful things, I was confused. Why would she bother to save me and then insult me?" She took a shaky breath, "And then when she pointed her arrow at me...I don't understand. Inuyasha said that they had parted as friends, but it sure as hell didn't seem like it."
Sesshomaru was angry at himself and his brother. They should have explained things to her that morning, maybe she wouldn't have had to die. "Kagome, she is working with Naraku. "He ignored her gasp."It would seem they both had different plans for you, but we shall discuss this more later. Why don't you try to get some rest? It is late, and you have had a long day."
She wanted to fight him, but as he said the words she knew he was right. She was tired. She smiled as he wrapped them both in his mokmoko. It was soft and warm and she felt her body relax as the stress of the day left her. She was safe in his arms and knew she would have no trouble falling asleep. A thought crossed her mind before she drifted off. "Sess...where's Inuyasha." She missed his concerned look as she snuggled into his fur.
"Do not worry about him. He is fine, he just needed some time alone. We will go get him in the morning." He felt her nod as her breathing evened out and she fell asleep.
His heart sped up as he thought of his brother. He wished now that the monk and slayer had not known of his failure to revive her. He believed his brother would calm down when he remembered the power of his sword, but if they did find him and told him...He didn't want to think about it. For now, he would watch over this precious woman. He would not put his guard down for a moment. In the morning, he would go after his brother.
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The sounds of the village waking to get started with their day woke a sleeping kit. He had not slept well the night before. After the others left to go find Kagome, he hadn't been able to stop worrying. He sniffed as he fought back his tears. When they left, he was positive they would be back before dark. The later it got, the more the kit started to doubt they would return with his mother. He knew Inuyasha and Lord Sesshomaru were fast. If they had found her, it would take no time for them to get back.
His mind started to go through all the scenarios. Did they stop for the night? Was she hurt? Did they find her yet? Or worse, did Naraku have her. He didn't want to believe any of those, but he was scared.
Kaede and RIn tried to reassure him that she would be fine, but as the night grew, he could see the doubt in their eyes too. Even Jaken seemed to be worried.
He knew he should be brave and trust his Alphas, but he wished he went with them to help. At least if he was with them, he wouldn't have to sit and wonder. He didn't want to think about losing his mother. He had already lost one and he wouldn't survive it a second time. He knew if she was gone he would lose a father too. Shippo didn't want to admit it, but Inuyasha was as much a father to him as Kagome was a mother. Where would he go if they were gone? He knew how lucky he was to be rescued by them after his father died. Most youkai children would have died being left alone, but Kagome and Inuyasha took him in.
Would he stay with Sango and Miroku? What would he do when they died? They were human and would die long before he reached maturity. Would he go with Lord Sesshomaru? He knew the lord tolerated him for Kagome and Rin, but what about when they were gone? Would he take him in?
Rin came and sat by him. She put him in her lap giving whatever comfort she could give him. They were pack too, they both would feel a great loss if Kagome didn't return. They sat there waiting for Kaede to make breakfast while keeping an eye on the trees hoping to see their friends soon.
Sango and Miroku decided to walk back to the village. After making camp last night, they were in no rush to return. They had lost both of their friends and needed time for themselves. Sango didn't push Miroku away as he held her through the night. She knew he would keep his hands to himself. A small part of her wished he didn't, she needed a moment to forget about the loss, and beating the monk would have given her a small relief. But, she was grateful for his embrace. He was all she had left, besides her brother, and she was quickly losing hope in getting him back soon. With Kagome gone, how long would it take for Naraku to win? Staring down at Miroku's hand, she realised she probably wouldn't have him for long either. All of her hope was gone.
Miroku was thinking the same thing. He had come to accept his fate before meeting Kagome and Inuyasha. He knew he could not defeat Naraku on his own, and eventually the curse would take his life like it had his father and grandfather. But after meeting the others, he knew he had a chance. With all of them working together, Naraku was going down. He allowed himself to think about the future. He was certain that he would live to see Sango round with his child and be there to raise him. They would live in the village with their friends and family and be at peace. But now, what would happen? Without Kagomes powers or Inuyasha's sword, did they stand a chance? They needed a powerful Miko to destroy Naraku permanently and now...He tightened his fist as his dreams were destroyed. No, they stood no chance now. Their friends were gone and it wouldn't be long before Naraku destroyed them too. For a moment he was glad. At least they would all be together again, in the end.
They started to get closer to the village and dreaded it. Was Kagome's body there? Were they strong enough to look upon the body of their dead friend? How would Shippo react? She was his mother and now she was gone. They would be strong for him, he was a child and would need support.
They heard yelling as they got closer and were surprised to see Shippo smiling as he ran towards them with Rin trailing behind.
"SANGO! MIROKU!" He leaped into Sango's arms and nuzzled her.
"Hi Shippo." Sango hugged him with a small smile.
"Well? Where's Kagome? Did you find her? Is she ok? Why isn't she with you? DId Inuyasha keep her all to himself! What a jerk! I want to see her too!" He yelled out in one breath.
Sango tried to keep her face soft as she hugged him again. Miroku put his arm around her and she was grateful.
"Shippo...why don't we go down to Kaede's. We'll tell you everything there ok?" Miroku said softly to the fidgeting kit.
Shippo glared at him but nodded. They didn't look happy, but maybe they were just tired. He listened to Rin ask about her lord as they made their way back to the hut.
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"NO! I will not stay and you can't make me!" Kagome was pacing. Who the fuck did he think he was!
"Miko...this one is only trying to look out for your safety. You will stay in the village until I have returned with my brother. That is final."
"Final! FINAL! Really Sesshomaru! Now you're ordering me!" She stopped to calm herself down. She knew he was worried, but so was she. "Look, I know that you are worried about me, and I love you for it, but Inuyasha is out there thinking I am dead! We both know he won't listen to reason. If I'm there...maybe we can reach him. He won't listen to you."
He knew she was right, but."Kagome, for once, just stop being so stubborn. Naraku and the dead one are still out there looking for you. Right now they probably believe you to still be dead. We can use that to our advantage, but if you are spotted we lose the upper hand." He grabbed her shoulder. "I know you are worried about him, that is why I must go alone. I can find him faster this way." He noticed her flinch. "That is not me calling you a burden or saying you would slow me down. It is just the truth."
She knew he didn't mean it as an insult, but, ouch. She still hesitated though. She knew Inuyasha like the back of her hand, if he was hurting, he wouldn't listen to reason. He was just like her. This sucked.
"Besides, there is a kit and a child waiting for you. If the monk and slayer have already reached the village, they would all believe you dead. Do not let them suffer more than they already have." He knew he got her there, it was dirty, but it worked.
Kagome hung her head in defeat. If Shippo thought she was dead, she couldn't imagine what he was going through right now. Inuyasha needed her, but she trusted Sesshomaru to reach him. He wouldn't stop until he found him, and it gave her a small comfort. She wasn't happy about it though.
"You're an asshole, you know that right?" She glared.
"Hmmm and you are a bitch, we have discussed this many times."
"Yea yea yea. Well, let's go face the music shall we?"
Sesshomaru shook his head as he followed her. Sometimes she said the strangest things.
It felt like old times as they walked through the forest. They had done this many times, and they both missed it. They talked about simple things like her home and his mother. It was nice. As Kagome started to tease him for his lovely singing voice, he did not feel remorse at all when he tripped her. She yelled at him with her face still in the dirt and he just smiled. She deserved it and she knew it. They spotted A-Un as they got closer to the village and Kagome was surprised to watch the dragon shake his tail like a dog when he spotted his master. It looked as if he was worried as well. She felt guilty for putting everyone through this and was thankful Sesshomaru convinced her to come back. Now if only she could figure out what to say to her mother...shit.
She could hear the wailing of her kit as they got closer to the village. The sound broke her heart and she wasted no time in running to him. As she pulled back the reed door, she almost laughed at the stunned faces. Sango looked ready to faint!
"Ummmm, I'm back!" She was knocked over before she finished her sentence. Shippo buried himself inside of her borrowed shirt as Rin held onto her leg. She gathered both of them close and softly reassured them she was fine. They wouldn't be letting go anytime soon.
Miroku and Sango were still frozen. How the hell was this possible. Kaede looked nervous as well, was she brought back like Kikyo was? They were afraid to ask. Their questions were answered as Sesshomaru walked in the door. All it took was a nod for them to shake off their stupor and join the children in their pile. He obviously got his sword to work.
"KAGOME! Thank God you're alright!" Sango cried as she held her.
"Lady Kagome, you have no idea how glad we are that you're safe." Miroku was openly crying as well.
"I'm so sorry you guys. It all happened so fast, that I..." She broke off in a sob and the group held her tighter.
"Tis good to see ye well child. We had feared ye were lost forever." Kaede came over and stroked her head. Kagome leaned into the touch as she silently cried.
"What happened mama? Are you really ok?" Shippo murmured from inside her shirt.
"Why don't we let Kagome eat and relax. I'm sure she's had a rough night." Sango untangled herself from their makeshift dog pile.
"I will return shortly, Kagome remember what you promised me."
She gave Sesshomaru a watery smile as she nodded. "Yes, my Alpha, whatever you say my Alpha." She smiled.
He shook his head as he addressed the monk. "She is not to leave until I return. I do not care if you have to lock her in the hut, do not let her out of your sight." He waited for a nod before he swiftly headed out.
"WAIT MY LORD! DO NOT LEAVE ME AGAIN." Jaken yelled as he ran after him.
The group laughed watching the Kappa trip as he took off. They all felt a little lighter now.
"Where is my Lord going Lady Kagome?" Rin asked from her seat in her lap.
Kagome's smile faded some. "He's going to look for Inuyasha Rin, don't worry he will be back soon." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well. She smiled at the sad looks her friends were giving her. "Don't worry, he'll be fine."
Kaede fed everyone breakfast as Kagome filled them in on what happened. She had to reassure Sango it was not her fault many times. She was a big girl, she didn't think she needed a babysitter. They were all silent as she told them about Kikyo, the guilty looks had Kagome smiling. "It's not your fault! I know you guys planned to tell me, but we had kind of a hectic day! Don't look so sad!"
"I knew my sister has changed, but to see how far she has fallen." Kaede looked sad as she thought about the sister she once looked up to.
"It surprised me too, I may not have known her before, but even the Kikyo now didn't seem that bad. A part of me still doesn't believe she is helping Naraku. I know she killed me, but after she did she looked almost...sad. I think she regretted it, but..." Kagome knew something was wrong.
They got quiet after that. Each person thinking about what she said. They knew Kikyo wasn't the best person, but she didn't seem like the type to kill an innocent person. It didn't really matter anyway, they knew Inuyasha would not spare her. She had killed Kagome, whether she felt bad about it or not, there was no forgiving her.
"So, what have you two been up to? You haven't been harassing Jaken much right?" Kagome laughed as she tried to lighten the mood. It worked as the kids got excited and started telling her the many pranks they pulled on the toad. She tried to pay attention, but she couldn't get Inuyasha out of her mind. She hoped Sesshomaru found him soon.
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Two days. He left the village two days ago and still has not found his brother. He knew tonite was the new moon and he had to find him before dark. His brother's human emotions were strong and he feared for his life if he was too late.
"Where the hell is he?" He knew his brother had years of experience in hiding, but damn. He thought he would at least caught a whiff of his scent by now.
He had been running nonstop for two whole days looking for any sign. He was hopeful yesterday when he ran into his father's retainer Myouga, but the flea was no help. He hadn't seen him either but told the dog demon he would keep a lookout. After hearing about Lady Kagome, he too feared for the mind of his lord. Sesshomaru thought about gathering a group of his scouts to look for his brother but knew it wouldn't do any good. With Inuyasha's state of mind, he would probably kill them before they even spoke a word. He ran faster hoping for something. If he didn't find him by tonite, he would go back to the village and make a plan with the others. Hopefully his baka brother returned there soon, Kagome wouldn't be held back for long. She would not hesitate to go looking if he came back empty-handed, and he would not stop her.
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Kikyo had been wandering now for three days. She had taken the time to reflect on her actions and was disgusted at what she found.
She had become dark. When did this happen? Did her jealousy of that girl really do this to her? No, she did this to herself. She knew that she didn't love Inuyasha anymore, but the pain she felt at seeing him move on...it was too much. He was her only friend in this new world she was brought back into. She didn't know how to go on alone. There was a time where she would be happy for him. He was finally fully accepted for what he was and she would have been glad. What happened to that woman? Was she truly gone? Or did she still live on inside of the strange girl from the future?
She did not stop as she felt an evil aura approach. Maybe it was time for her to leave this world. She was tainted now, she deserved to go back to hell.
"If you have come to kill me Naraku, I will not stop you."
"Why would I do that Kikyo? Seeing you suffer is so much more satisfying." Naraku laughed. "Don't get me wrong, the thought has crossed my mind. That girl was to be mine and you took her from me." He had been pissed to hear of the mikos death. He wanted to twist the girl and force her into becoming his mate, but Kikyo didn't stick to the plan. He should have known she would go against him, but no matter, the deed was done.
"But, no matter. I will still get what I want in the end. Maybe I will bring her back like you, I can create her into anything I want that way. I should be thanking you." She shuddered at his words. "Besides, I will not need to kill you, the half-breed will surely do it for me." He laughed as he disappeared into a cloud of miasma.
Kikyo felt dread inside of her. She knew the torment of being trapped in a clay body, she would not wish that on anyone. She knew she needed to warn Inuyasha, but would he listen? Would he kill her before she could even speak? It was worth the risk. He had every right to kill her, she just prayed he listened before he did.
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He stood outside of the hut that he once shared with his beloved. He cursed his human nose that he could not at least get one more hint of her scent before he joined her. But, he didn't deserve to smell her. He deserved the pain that wrecked through his human heart.
He was on his way to the well to talk to her family, but his feet carried him here. He was surprised at first to see sutras warding off demons on the frame of the hut. Who were they protecting? Kagome was already dead. He hesitated entering thinking her body was in there. Did they put them up to stop Naraku from taking her body? He shuddered at the thought of what he would do with it. He wanted to go inside and see her for himself, but he was afraid. Could he look at his beloved knowing he had failed her?
It was a long time before he could will his body to move. He needed to see. He needed to see she was dead for himself. He should probably take her home, but he didn't know if he had the strength. Would he be able to let her go if he held her in his arms? Her mother deserved a proper burial, but he just couldn't do it.
He took a deep breath and slid into the hut. He was grateful that he was human tonite so the sutras didn't stop him. It was dark inside, the fire had burned out long ago. It took a while for his human eyes to adjust and then he saw her.
There laying on a futon was Kagome. He couldn't see her very well, but he knew it was her. Someone had put her in a sleeping yukata, and it looked almost like she was sleeping. He couldn't fight the tears as he stepped closer. He knew he had no right to be near him, but he couldn't help it. He needed to touch her one last time.
He was sad that he couldn't get a good look at her face in the shadows, but maybe it was for the best. He couldn't handle seeing her once rosy cheeks hollowed out and grey. He could almost feel the warmth coming from her body but knew it was his mind playing tricks on him.
He slowly crawled onto the futon to lay beside her. He lifted a shaky hand to touch her face but pulled it back like he was burned. He couldn't touch her face and feel her cold skin. So, he curled up beside her and wept. He tried to calm his shaking, but it was no use.
He didn't know how long he cried until he felt a hand touch his head. He shot back as fast as his human body could move and backed into the corner. Was his mind finally going? He knew when a demon lost his mate they went crazy. He didn't realise it would affect his human mind as well. He shook violently as he heard his name.
"Inuyasha? Is that you?" The voice whispered.
Inuyasha shook his head in denial. She was dead, he was hearing things! He was crazy! "Leave me alone! You're dead! Stop tormenting me!" He tried to get up but his legs shook too bad to even stand.
The figure moved in the shadows and he jumped. There was a flash of light as he saw it restart the fire. His eyes widened as Kagome's face came into view. Holy shit he was crazy!
She looked at him with sad eyes as she slowly approached him. Making sure to move carefully she came to kneel before him. He shut his eyes as he repeated over and over. "you're no real, you're not real, you're not real..." It broke Kagome's heart to see him like this but she knew he needed to snap out of it.
"Inuyasha.." She whispered sweetly. "Sit boy." The hanyou turned human opened his eyes wide before crashing to the floor.
It hurt like a BITCH to be sat as a human and he groaned at the feel of his aching back. He froze again as a hand rubbed up and down his sore muscles. Was she really...
"K-kagome?" He hesitated. "Please be real"
"It's me koi. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but I'm here now and I'm never leaving you again."
He lifted his body on shaky arms as he slowly lifted his head. He brought his eyes up to hers and almost fell again. She was real! He may have been crazy, but he definitely couldn't sit himself.
Tears poured down both their faces as he touched her cheek. It was warm. There was no coolness or hint of grey in her skin. He quickly moved in and kissed her. It was desperate and chaste, but he needed to feel her. She cried as she held him tightly and he started to shake all over again.
He just kept repeating her name over and over. Kagome knew he needed reassurance that she was really there and took his had as she stood. She walked back over to the futon and laid down bringing him with her. He didn't resist her at all as he damn near laid on top of her.
She ran her fingers through his hair as she spoke softly to him."shhh, I'm here it's ok. shhhhh I know." He kept crying her name over and over as he burrowed into her. He opened her robes at the top to lay his face on bare skin. Tucking his head under her chin he squeezed her tight as he cried himself to sleep.
Kagome was still awake hours later crying in the darkness. She knew he would be devastated, but seeing him like that broke her. He was still holding her like a vice, but she wouldn't move him. About an hour before daybreak she felt Sesshomaru return. She wanted to go to him and tell him Inuyasha was ok, but she didn't dare move a muscle. Everyone else could wait. She would let him hold her for as long as he needed.
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Yay! Inuyasha's back! I'm sorry for all the angst, but hey don't worry! Some deserved comical relief is coming up!