[Place holder for bullshit pseudo-legal disclaimer saying how the characters and setting all belong to Monty Oum/Roosterteeth and how I don't own anything.]

Chapter 1: Enhanced Interrogation

"I don't like this" General Ironwood scowled, looking towards his ally Glynda. There was many things that he questioned about Ozpin and his methods. Whether it was his predisposition for subtle tactics over immediate intervention, or his tendency to allow adolescent girls perform criminal investigations; Ozpin wasn't the type of man James would have in a leadership position. Which is why he politically sabotaged him to the Valeian Council.

Someone had to tell Ozpin that his reactive strategy was not working. It was imperative to let him know that a gentle hand will not win this war, that an iron fist was necessary. Though the general will admit Ozpin has much of his respect. He did trust him with the knowledge of Salem's existence and for the most part has kept the Relics safe for several generations.

There moments where Ironwood believed that Ozpin must have reincarnated from a proud military commander, ripe with battlefield experience... "Oh boo hoo Irondick. I'd pat you on the back, but my arms are busy at the moment" Roman Torchwick said gesturing to his handcuffs. And then there are the moments that Ironwood believes that same commander was shot in the neck, where his brain being starved of oxygen managed to pass that damage to his future reincarnations. Seriously is there a possiblity that he is becoming the immortal version of senile!?! He never would never mention that thought outloud however.

Interrogations had become stagnate and the Vital Festival was fast approaching. This was a crucial time period that meant all intelligence regarding enemy activity would be priceless. So far any operatives of the White Fang captured were either too low ranked to know anything or too devoted to spill. And those was the ones who didn't commit suicide in custody. It became quickly evident that the Faunus prisoners would not be a viable source of information.

Each member of Ozpin's group had different ideas on how to handle the situation; bribery, barter, threats, torture (Jame's idea) were on the table. If anyone would know who was pulling the strings, it would be the puppet Roman Torchwick. Ozpin had an... interesting idea, one that did not sit well with the other members. But with little time to spare and few other options, he sat in the interrogation room waiting for him to get here.

"Psst General. I have a question for you." Torchwick whispered, trying to get their attention.

"What do you want" He scowled.

"Was it you or Glynda here who provided these handcuffs?" he began snickering. Glynda, understanding what he was implying, responded by hitting the table with her riding crop. "YOU WILL REMAIN SILENT!!" she then regained her composure and stood waiting. All this time Roman sat there smirking, thinking of new ways to piss off his captors. "Hey, are y'all gonna bring out those mind-altering drugs those animals keep letting on about? I'm getting bored here and I'd love to get high." Groaning Glynda and James continued to patiently wait for Ozpin.

After an uncomfortable hour of waiting Ozpin finally arrived aboard the ship. Carrying with him a thermos and some cups, he walked his way to the interrogation room where he was greeted by members of his circle. To say that they were relieved was an understatement.

Ironwood remained stoic but his thoughts were less than gentle. About fucking time!!! Ironwood had been dealing this rat's constant snarky attitude all day. If it wasn't for Glynda being in the same room as him, he would have brought him to Atlas early to be more *thoroughly* interrogated.

Glynda was not fairing much better. She had to spend most of her morning alternating between dealing with this scoundrel's flirtatious behavior towards her and making sure her companion doesn't rip Roman's skull out. This is the one day I'd rather deal with Team RWBY's shenanigans. Their recent adventures, while productive, were starting to strain her.

It had gotten to the point she had suggested creating a keyboard shortcut for filing reports on their *investigations*. She knew Ozpin had the best interests in heart, but food fights were destructive when hormonal teenagers didn't have superpowers. Having to deal with a team consisting of a hyperactive child leading a team of an entitled heiress, a former terrorist, and an thrill-seeking brawler, was more than she anticipated; Barring the equally destructive team JNPR.

"Are you sure you want to do this" his general asked him. Ozpin slowly nodded in conformation. He sighed in resignation, knowing the headmaster was set in his determination. He walked away from the room followed by Glynda, who put her hand on her boss's shoulder. "I hope your plan works".

"I'm sure after this I'll get the information we need. He sat down at the table as Glynda closed the door behind her. As he got comfortable he waited for the knock on the door signalling that all of Ironwood's men had left the premesis and that all the securty camera's was to cut their feed. Once Ozpin heard the signal, he opened his thermos and poured its contents into one of the cups. "Hot chocolate?" he offered.

"I pegged you more of a coffee guy"

"I get that alot" Ozpin responded, pushing the cup closer. Roman rolled his eyes and raised his hands. "I'd love a cup, too bad my hands are tied at this moment." Ozpin let out a light chuckle and raised his.

"Then allow me" he spoke. Slowly, his hand hand began to glow faintly, increasing in brightness as the seconds ticked by, then in a flash a beam of green energy appeared from his palm and shot directly towards the chains that bound Roman. His eyes widened in surprise as the metal that held him began to melt away. Leaping from his seat in a string of profanity he hid behind his chair. He lifted it and threw it towards the headmaster, only for the piece of furniture to glow and hover over the table leaving him awestruck. The thief looked down to see that all that was left of his restraints was a puddle of metallic liquid.

This cannot be his semblance, this has to be what that fire bitch Cinder was doing! He thought to himself. The headmaster simply resumed pouring his drink. "Now that your hands are free, perhaps you and I can have our discussion". Roman, shocked as ever, scowled at the man across the table. Ozpin then moved his hand to place the chair back on its legs. He was no fool, the thief knew that Ozpin wanted information. But the power he showed was something Cinder failed to mention about his enemies.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!" Roman couldn't hold back his tone as he got into Ozpin's face. Everything up to this point was a line of aggravation. From his employer's secretive agenda and his forced alliance with the WhiteFang to his constant run ins with wannabe heroes, she always found new ways to screw him over. Now the man she was attempting to bring down, was firing lasers out his hand. He thought of running as he was now free, but the chances of him besting a whole Altesan ship plus the gifted headmaster and his cronies came to mind. Plus there was no guarentee Neo was on board yet as she could be still with Cinder and her followers.

"I assure you I will answer all your questions if you promise to listen to what I have to say, and consider telling me what I want to know." Ozpin spoke, his expression only having a light smile as he pushed a full cup of hot chocolate across the table. Roman grumbled as he sat back down and reached for the hot drink to take a sip. "I'm gonna need a smoke".

Outside the glass looking into the interrogation room three individuals watched as Ozpin handed a cigar to Roman. Ironwood stood next to the door with his right hand hovering over his holster and his left on the door handle, ready for any escape attempts that the notorious thief may take. His semblance active, any movements would not escape his attention. Ozpin this is a fool's gambit he internally grimaced.

Of all the ideas that was discussed, Ozpin had to bring up the most idiotic one to date. "I've seen people like this hundreds of times before, men who serve their own interests and believe Salem can grant them power. All of them met the same fate." His friend's words echoed his mind. There was too many variables to tell if this gamble would even work. Torchwick is going to be given classified information that only a select few on Remnant knew of, and Ozpin is hoping it will scare the truth out of him. What a damn fool.

The second person outside the room was Glynda, who was doing her best to steel her nerves. She repeatedly told herself Ozpin's plan had merit and this was perhaps the best chance at getting him to loosen the thief's lips. Roman was many things; resourceful, elusive, dangerous, everything that made him one of Vale's most notorious criminals. There was even rumors he had connections to the Branwen tribe where he would trade their ill gotten goods to fence on the black market. Raven getting rid of what she couldn't use to get supplies for her bandit horde.

But above all else, Roman's self preservation was the most visible quality. The headmistress knew that the thief valued his life over anything. Something her mentor was ready to exploit. "Roman needs to be informed of who he's working for. Once he knows his chances of survival, he should cave in." James was always the first to admit his displeasure. Claiming Ozpin had lost his mind, the Alteasan general was the most vocal in telling the immortal off; though everyone in Ozpin's circle expressed their view of it.

She herself was concerned his ambitious nature would make him even more willing to serve Salem; she continued to stare at the duo, hoping Ozpin was right.

An unknown viewer waited in the same hallway as the general and deputy; using her semblance to cast an illusion of invisibility, Neo's eyes widened as the headmaster performed acts that could only be described as magical. This is more that we signed up for. She thought to herself. Over the course of a few months she had helped Roman perform criminal acts that benefited their 'allies'. Aligning with the WhiteFang, stealing all the dust in Vale, fighting that team of huntresses in training was already asking for too much.

In one of her attempts to look out for her mentor, she had stumbled upon Ozpin's latest attempt to get Roman to confess. She feared the worst when Ironwood ordered the camera to the interrogation room to cut it's feed and all soldiers to leave them be. Worried that Roman was going to be tortured or killec, she cast her semblance to sneak in and rescue him. Damn the mission! But seeing Ozpin melting the cuffs off him and levitate the chair showed her that they were way over their heads.

Roman sat in his chair waiting for Ozpin to speak, smoking his cigar and nursing his drink. Whatever Ozpin was planning to tell him would be important, if his powers was somehow related to Cinder's than it would be good to know. While the thief didn't know if what the man opposite of him was gonna make him rat out his allies, but if they weren't gonna tell him what's really going on maybe the fool across the table will. The headmaster simply placed his his hands together and relaxed. Contemplating his words, he asked a simple question, "What is your favorite fairytale?"

Okay... so this is my first fanfic. (Not counting a Justice League baseball fanfic I wrote for my English teacher in the 4th grade). I hope some of you will like it, I'm sure I'm gonna get flamed though. I wrote this specifically because ever since Volume 6 Episode 3 The Lost Fable revealed what would happen if the Relics are reclaimed, I thought about half Salem's goons wouldn't serve her if they knew. So when Oscar Pine started doing this very thing in Midnight and War... this fic was born. Alternatively this title was gonna be If Ozpin was actually smart.

Bile 1.0 if your reading this sorry Cinder's head isn't exploding or an entire airforce base isn't painted in the blood of the soldiers stationed there (random The Boys comic shoutout), I wanna try to write some violent stuff in the future.

Speaking of shoutouts I hope y'all didn't miss those RvB easter eggs and that Fandom misconception one.Thanks for reading, I look forward to writing the final chapter soon-ish.