[Placeholder for... ah fuck it. You all know I don't own RWBY, that honor goes to Roosterteeth. Pseudo-legal disclaimer goes here]
Chapter 2: Questioning Authority
An uncomfortable silence hung in the air. a full minute had passed since Ozpin asked Roman his question. He was assuming his interviewee must have been contemplating what was said. A simple yet effective answer. One assumes such tales are fiction, yet hidden in the lines are little truths. The headmaster continued to stare at the the man across him. Time slowed as the well-dressed thief just sat in his chair leaning with his elbows on the table. Ozpin was anticipating his answer, waiting for the man to have his mind blown by his secrets.
"I don't really know any fairytales." And thus, Ozpin felt the vein on his forehead suddenly burst in a dramatic display of annoyance and failure. UNBELIEVABLE!!! "The Story of the Seasons, The Infinite Man, The Girl in the Tower. Do these not not ring any bells?" The thief only learned back and shook his head no. In his years it became frightfully easy to tell if someone was lying. Body movements and vocal tone told a lot about men, even skilled deceivers such as Jacques Schnee had subtle ways of showing falsehood in his words. It was unfortunate that Salem also picked up this trick making any attempts at infiltration and espionage difficult. That being said, the fact that he could tell Roman was telling the truth caused something to die in Ozpin's heart.
"Well I'm sooooo sorry Ozzy, Mommy and Daddy never read me bedtime stories. I was too busy trying not to STARVE!!! You wanna ask stupidly vague questions or are we actually gonna talk about something today?" The headmaster began rubbing his temples together. At the very least he wasn't subjected to the whitewashed animated film versions of these stories that have dominated the global marketplace. The first time he watched the The Warrior in the Woods he nearly burned the theater down for that overpriced atrocity. Backtracking, the immortal regained his composure and chose to forget the overpowering media conglomerate in addition to the racist and misogynist undertones in their older movies.
After calming himself down, he continued his conversation. "Let me start with very basics, and see if your satisfied. The Grimm are being controlled by a psychotic witch named Salem; and we have been around since the Gods of Light and Darkness walked Remnant though where she just never ages or dies, I go through a complicated reincarnation process. I have been fighting her for centuries stopping her from gathering the four Relics the Brother Gods left behind; which I locked under the Huntsman Academies in vaults that can only be accessed by magically powered women of my creation." Ozpin finally stopped, and caught his breath. In situations like this it would be a potential recruit to get this speech and not an agent of Salem. However if Ozpin learned anything over his long life, it was that the hearts of men are easily swayed.
Ironwood had been dealing with a lot of problems at this point; Robin Hill's little crusade on the homefront, Jacque Schnee crying over Vale's robberies affecting his profits, Sienna Khan raising hell on Remnant, Salem wagging a shadow war across the globe, and Roman Torchwick being an ass in the interrogation room. So needless to say he was stressed regarding current events. On more than one occasion has he had to refill his flask since his arrival at Beacon. Despite all that nonsense, the current look on the ginger bastard's face made it all worth it.
Looking through the glass Roman's jaw looked like it was going to fall off and hit the floor. It was comical, the notorious thief that caused so much problems in this kingdom left speechless upon learning the truth. Ironwood momentarily reminisced about his time learning of Salem, remaining stoic but deep down shocked by the secrets revealed. Roman for the first time in weeks was rendered speechless. He looked in his pocket and pulling out his scroll he took a picture... for the good of the people.
Unfortunately he was unable to hear the conversation from the hallway since Ozpin's request specified he also was barred them listening, but he could assume what he said and what knowledge could be gained. For Roman to be completely caught off guard by his ally, he must have not been fully indoctrinated to their cause. The downside to this was any information on her other followers was limited to his direct employer and his or her associates. But that does mean his loyalty to them would be paper thin.
"You look like your enjoying yourself." His companion Glynda said, by she was enjoying the show too. After a brief moment he regained his composure. "Ozpin's plan seems to warrant some appraisal, but I'm still concerned about letting him know about this." Iron continued to look into the room, he grimmaced while Ozpin was trying to continue his conversation while Roman on the otherhand was already showing his rebuttal. Though the microphone to the interrogation room was for all intents and purposes muted, Roman was screaming loud enough to where words like 'cockbiting fucktard' could still be heard.
"I remember when I first was told about the Grimm Queen, I honestly thought Ozpin may have been cooped up too long in his tower; then a couple of my students turned into birds." Glynda spoke aloud. This earned a coy look from Ironwood. He thought of how many times the headmaster must of had this conversation. "Why don't trust Ozpin?" Glynda asked. Ironwood breathed deep and closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. "I trust that Ozpin does what he thinks is right, but he's grown too used to the long game. When your immortal you can make wrong choices because they don't matter as much, you and I only have one life. We only get one chance to make the right ones." Glynda looked at the general for a brief period, thinking of what to say.
After a small moment, she looked back into the room. "Perhaps, but perhaps we think too short term, he's gonna outlive all of us. While we can't see the immediate results he will get to make investments for decades in advance. Just have some faith." Ironwood listened as he looked in the room. Roman had finally calmed down and actually began listening to Ozpin. Unbeknownst to either of them, the little icecream themed thief was listening to their conversation.
Ozpin looked towards the door after what felt like an eternity of getting verbally assaulted by Roman. He had noticed a something odd since his conversation began. Being millenia old meant he had either known the originators of every fighting style or aura technique, or was the progenitor himself. So naturally if a blind kid from the tribes of Vacuo could sense people's aura he was able to as well. That being said, he noticed a third aura signature that wasn't supposed to be there. He didn't think Glynda was one to disobey orders so it was unlikely she allowed James to bring in an extra soldier (even though he would). So this meant the newcomer must be masking her presence somehow. "It seems we are being spied on, I don't think Ironwood or Goodwitch can see her."
Roman became stiff for a second, and looked thoughtfully before relaxing somewhat. "Oh, Must be Neo. My little protege comes by to check up on me every now and then." Ozpin read reports on Roman and his crimes, he knew he worked with a young woman with the ability to create illusions and seemingly teleport. Normally learning a dangerous woman routinely bypasses a heavily guarded military ship would discern him; but now it set him at ease. Because he said it was his protege it meant that she was not aligned to Salem and a risk to inform them if he turns coat. Another factor, Roman willingly told him about this security breach; so perhaps he can get more information if he presses on. "I heard of her, quite a talented apprentice you found. The thief chuckled "Its amazing what giving an icecream cone and an umbrella to a destitute child will get you."
Ozpin turned back to face Roman, who had a smug look on his face. "Now that we have that out the way, I need to inform you just how pointless your alliance is." All this earned was an eyeroll and a huff. "You may think your going to get what you desire but Salem only keeps people until they are no longer neccessary. I've seen it before, IF you aren't killed in the upcoming battles, you will die once you are useless to her". It was a truth that he had witness countless times. So many talented individuals devoted to her cause, only to meet their end like the pawns to their game.
Roman did not look the slightest moved by this revelation. Instead he dug his heels in and adopted a more serious face. "I. Am. Never. Useless." He got up from his seat. He puffed his cigar in one long drag before putting it out on the table. "I am the greatest criminal on Remnant. I robbed Vale blind, took Atlas's little toys, kept your huntsmen running in circles, and I outsmarted you." He pointed his finger at Ozpin. "An immortal with hundreds of years of experience. I'm putting my bet on the winning team; and I'm going to get what I'm due!"
Ozpin thought about what was said. There is something admirable about a man's willingness to completely ignore the truth and stick their head in its entirely up their own ass. Whether it's his stubbornness or pure idiocy he was unwilling to sell out his employers. He either is too terrified to fight them or totally deluded in his dreams of grandeur. Ozpin signed and leaned back in his chair, realizing only one piece of his history had the capability to get Roman to talk. As much as he loathed it, Vale was being torn down from the inside, and time was short. He took a deep breath and held it for a half minute. Am I really going to tell this scoundrel what I haven't even told my circle? After coming up with his answer, he released his breath ready to continue.
"Ok, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say somehow you survive until Salem gets her hands on all four relics; assuming of course you don't bitch-slapped by a sugar addicted teenager with an oversized gardening tool and her team of angsty ship baits." That actually caused Roman to look like he was kicked in the balls. "But my EX WIFE hasn't wanted to rule Remnant since our daughters died. Once the Relics are united they will summon the Gods to judge us whether we live peacefully or still fight amongst ourselves. And thanks to your playmates, they will see us as irredeemable and wipe out humanity. The great paradox of us eternals is that the only thing we want to do, is DIE!!!"
With his anger flaring up Ozpin lost control of his magic and an explosion of green energy erupted in the room. Roman was knocked back by this explosion, slamming into the wall behind him before being left on the floor with what remained of his chair. The table that once separated them was in complete ruins burning with a sickly green flame. Ozpin was the only thing standing in the room as he walked toward the dazed thief in the rubble. "You think you join a group of conquers and reformers? NO! Your in a suicide cult Roman, and your actions will be the death of everyone!"
James Ironwood could not believe what he was seeing. Ozpin has always been a calm and collected individual, he never showed anger even in the most infuriating situations like dealing with taxes and discussing politics on the internet. But for the headmaster of Beacon to show this much rage that he practically destroyed the room they were in told the general just how much the old wizard held back. Even though he was aweing the destruction, a shattering of glass turned his attention elsewhere. "Glynda. Look out!"
Neopolitan, who just witnessed the room exploding, had enough with waiting elbowed Glynda in the neck and made a dash to the door. Ironwood grabbed Neo's hand and spinning her around before throwing her into the wall. He placed his hand on his earpiece. "All Forces! Intruder By interrogation!" James reached for Due Process and shot at Neo who unfolded blush to block the bullets. She unsheathed her hidden blade and charged at the uniformed man; attempting to slice his eyes, neck, and chest only for him to dodge with the use of his semblance.
Alarms began to ring around the ship. Glynda did her best to help out by attempting to gain control of the little thief but she moved to quick for the general. James tried to aim his gun at Neo and fired but it was revealed to be an illusion where as the real one quickly kicked it out his hand and round kicked him into the glass. She tried once more to stab the general in the face charging with all her might. "JAMES!!" Glynda shouted. But Ironwood caught the blade with his right hand not showing an ounce of pain.
Shocked, the thief looked at where the blade touched his hand revealing metal where flesh meant to be. James bent the blade with his prosthetic hand hand used other one to grab Neo's head and slam her into the glass. He reeled his metal fist back and punched at the held down scoundrel, but she got out quick enough to avoid the lethal attack. The glass shattered as the general hit what was supposed to be bullet proof. She used her semblance to teleport closer to the door before realizing the debris on the floor began to float.
She looked over to see that Glynda Goodwitch twirling her riding crop creating a swirling mass of shrapnel. She then waved her weapon to Neo, who was hit by a barrage of projectile. As she flared her aura up, she could feel the effects to the debris wither her aura. She realized Glynda must be a long range fighter. She charged at the busty blonde attempting the choke the dominatrix out. She flicked the Disciplinarian and a field of ice dust prevented the attack causing Neo to be knocked on the ground. She hurried to get up before backing into the wall, using Hush to block the next wave of projectiles.
By this point the soldiers were beginning to arrive into the hallway to greet the three tired combatants. "Careful men, she's a skilled fighter and her semblance creates illusions. James and Glynda moved to block the door while Neo stared across the hall, the soldiers all readied their weapons aiming at the intruder. Silence greeted the standoff as the she prepared to activate her semblance for one last illusion to get past the two killjoys. But that silence was interrupted by the opening of a door.
Meanwhile...Two well dressed cane-wielders continued their conversation.
"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THIS WHOLE BULLSHIT IS SOME TEN THOUSAND YEAR OLD MARITAL SPAT!!!" Roman couldn't believe what he was hearing. It felt surreal that the entirety of the world problems was to blame because of some married couple had a disagreement. Someone get these fuckers a divorce court. He was livid. Roman spent months working with moronic faunus, evading huntsman and dealing with some sociopath's severe case of mommy issues. Yet now? He realized he was conned.
There is no way Ozzy here would lie about something so stupid. He's telling the truth. For the first time since he met Cinder he was worried about his life. He wasn't regretting the 'nefarious' things he did; more or less he realized there is no path to take without ending up on the chopping block. His thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of gunfire outside. Ozpin looked out and smirked. "It seems Neo is attempting a rescue mission."
The plan was bust either way, and now Neo was likely to get herself killed unless he can wrap this little chat up. "I'm damned either way! I keep working for Salem, I die. I fight with you, I die painfully. I run and hide... you get the point." Ozpin looked back at the thief. Roman was still on the ground struggling to get up. Broken furniture and shattered porcelain from his mug littered the floor. He remained silent though knowing he was gaining ground. Just a little more.
Ozpin walked towards the criminal and knelt down. "If you help us we can help you. There is room in my circle for men of your skills." Roman looked around. A metallic fist slamming into the glass interrupted his thoughts. But something occurred to him. Salem's endgame was to use the relics to end her life, which meant anything less than summoning the Gods couldn't do anything to her. "You have no way to kill her, do you?" The uncomfortable look on Ozpin's face answered his question.
The men stared at each other in silence. While the fighting outside continued, and shattered glass and rubble began to levitate and exit out the window; both wizard and rouge waited for the other to respond. The revelation of Salem's immortality was still fresh on Roman's mind. As was the fear in his captor's heart. Ozpin made the first gesture and offered his hand. "I cannot promise you I can stop Salem. But if you help me we can at least postpone her plans. And who knows, perhaps eventually we can find a way to contain her."
Roman thought for a moment. The sounds from outside had ground to a halt. Neo was probably hurt or worse. He was about to take a gamble that not only effected his life, but the life of his apprentice. Ozpin couldn't offer him a position in power like Cinder but at the very least he is offering to keep the world spinning. "I'm not a huntsman. Your lot always end up getting themselves killed. As for me, I'll do what I do best: steal, cheat, and survive." He then reached out, grabbing the hand that was offered to him and lifted himself up.
"But if working with the heroes is my best odds of me and Neo living another ten years, I'll put my chips in your hand." Ozpin smiled and got up. "I'm gonna need some pardons first." Roman said in an uncharacteristically uncomfortable fashion. Ozpin rolled his eyes before widened. "Lets talk about that after we stop our associates from murdering each other. Then he dashed for the door, followed swiftly by Roman.
Well... this took much longer than I anticipated. I'm a little ashamed I didn't have this out sooner. Dealing with snowing in Louisiana, Work becomes so much busier when Texans come east to by their groceries, my boss completely screwed over my hours, and my sister ended up in the hospital. So yeah... fun times.
I was actually blown away by the positive responses by this fic which I will respond to in a moment. I think I'm gonna do one last chapter if ya'll want it. If not I'll leave it as is.
Guest 1-31-21: Thank you. I hope this hit that potential.
Seriouslazy: I'm glad you liked this.
Callum Newman: Thanks. Hope this keeps your attention.
Grima0912: (Spoilers ahead) Actually that is the whole reason this story exists. As we saw (if you still follow the show) telling the truth worked on a few of them. Hazel and Emerald ditched them and Neo's stole the lantern. So the only reason I imagine that Ozpin keeps this info to himself is he doesn't want people panicking about judgement day. Your response actually influenced my story some because your right, not many would believe that at first. Which is why Roman decided to pull a Karen. But something like how they had kids... who lie about something so personal aside from attenion whores and actors. Thanks for commenting.
Levelxtremedude: Thank you for following. I'd say Ozzy knows a few things about chess games. Checkmate!
DesiCat: Thank you so much. Hope this met your expectations.Bile 1.0: Yeah your good, Actually originally I did have the idea of where he was gonna just accept it, but then I read you and Grima's comment about the options I have so it took a little longer than I thought. The whole "If you can't beat them, join them" arguement only works of you aren't cannon fodder. So I figured after reading this comment I'd adjust Roman into being stubborn and flat out refusing, his ego just refusing to listen. You can probably guess which one I went with though. What can I say, Roman was my favorite. I thought those were great ideas that I fully considered and tried to use. Thanks a lot. Take as much time from writing as you need btw.
Djpj7652 Thank you so much for your advice. I hope to start writing more serious stories (and a shitton of goofy ones) and I definitely will be needing to proofread. Trust me I corrected twenty spelling errors just typing this chapter and I still see some god damn errors in my first chapter. Cringy.
I honestly am good about dealing with complaints and criticisms (I got my life threatened by customers working at walmart not having a product for god sakes. TWICE!!) So I shall take any hits and learn from any critics in this comment section. Which I fully expect after my shitty fight scene.
I'm gonna have to find me that proof reader.
Again thank you all so very much for not turning the reviews into a Youtube history channel comment section. Shudders. You think I should finish off by showing how much the thieving ginger can help this cabal of morons or just end this and make a list of ideas I have like V7-8 Ruby traveling the fanfiction multiverse?