NOTE: SMUT WARNING! Skip to the dialogue if you don't wish to read this part.

Chapter 6: Attraction

His hands are on her chest, groping and massaging her breasts. He kisses her with a neediness Azula has never known before. She lies beneath him on his bed, her heartrate accelerating the more he touches her. His mouth wanders down her neck, licking the sensitive skin along the way. Her hips buck instinctively as she feels his hot tongue on her throat.

He kisses and licks her breasts tenderly before claiming them with his greedy mouth, sucking on the soft peaks. She moans softly as she undulates her hips beneath him. He continues worshipping her chest, sucking on one breast while gently fondling and bouncing the other in his hand, and then switching. She slides her hands down his back to his arms, feeling his strong biceps. He takes the opportunity to pull his shirt up over his head and immediately resumes his position on top of her, capturing her lips with his with an ardent kiss. The feeling of being weighed down by a much larger man, his bare chest pressed against her own, makes her feel dangerously vulnerable, as if he could do anything he wanted to her and she'd be powerless to stop it. This feeling is ridiculous of course, being the masterful firebender that she is, but she gets some depraved thrill out of watching Hakoda be a man and take what he wants.

Rolling his hips against her, he slides a hand down her athletic frame to the inside of her thigh and farther still. He groans quietly as his fingers reach between her legs, where he begins teasing her over her underwear. She dips her head back and bites down on her lip. Spirits he feels so good. He knows just where to touch her. He alternates between rubbing her with long strokes of his fingers to vibrating them quickly. Her hips repeatedly jump up to meet his skilled hand. His erection presses into her thigh with increasing urgency.

The pressure building inside of her becomes unbearable. She thrusts her hips against his hand with desperation, begging for sweet relief. As if he can read her mind, he pauses for a moment and yanks off her underwear, leaving her completely naked and panting on his mattress. His eyes rake over her nude body. He doesn't look at her with love in his eyes, but rather as a predator about to feast upon its prey. This excites her in a way that can't be explained; all she knows is she wants to be devoured.

He slips a finger inside of her sopping core, causing her to groan out loud. She feels his erection lurch against her leg. It's slightly painful, the feeling of his finger stretching her skin, but any feelings of pain are quickly overtaken by pleasure as he vibrates his palm against her clit. She thrusts against his hand with erratic jolts as the pleasure consumes her. She clutches the sheets at her side as he brings her to orgasm, her legs shaking uncontrollably. She feels herself pulse against his finger and she just wants more and more and more.

He sheds his remaining clothes and climbs back on top of her as she recovers her breath. She looks up at him, her chest heaving, watching his blue eyes darken as they roam up and down her body once more. His hand instinctively reaches down to grab his cock. Her lips part slightly as she watches him give it a few tugs. She's never seen an erect man before and being the source of his excitement makes her realize for the first time that she's one to be desired. He lowers himself closer to her and begins to rub his manhood back and forth on her clit.

"Ohhhh," she trembles with sheer delight. She wants him inside of her. She wants him so bad. It doesn't even cross her mind to tell him it's her first time. That doesn't matter to her in this moment. She just wants him to take her.

He slips the head of his cock down to her heat, teasing her entrance before slowly sliding into her. She gasps. It hurts, it definitely hurts. It feels like she's being split in half. But at the same time it feels good. Really good. And she likes that he isn't going easy on her, that he's succumbing entirely to the lust he feels for her. With one hand on her breast and the other on her hip, he thrusts in and out of her, grunting and groaning quietly. He doesn't look at her, perhaps because he knows she's self-conscious and wants to take the pressure off of her. Instead, he buries his head in the crook of her neck, licking and kissing her soft skin, occasionally biting her shoulder.

She closes her eyes and focuses solely on the pleasure coursing through her body. The pain only serves to emphasize the elation she feels. His hips crash against hers again and again. He needs her, he really needs her, and she is attuned to it. Her hips rise to meet his as he pounds into her. The way his pubic bone rubs against her clit sends shockwaves to her extremities. She slides her hands down his back, pushing down on him to intensify their connection. Soon she begins to unravel.

She moans through strained breaths, rubbing herself against him unabashedly. Sensing she's close, he rocks his hips even faster. Her legs quiver and her heart pounds as she succumbs to the white-hot pleasure overtaking her body. She comes on his cock in a burst of ecstasy, feeling the waves of her bliss pulse against his erection. It doesn't take long for him to lose complete control. The movements of his hips become quick and erratic. He grabs her ass, digging his fingers into her skin as he releases himself into her, groaning loudly against her shoulder.

He lies there for a moment as he collects his breath. Then he pulls out of her and sits on the edge of his mattress, hunching his back. "That was…"

She chuckles, smiling softly. "Yeah."

He brings his hands to his head. Something is wrong. "I can't believe we… we shouldn't have…"

Her stomach drops. "Hakoda, what's wrong?"

"This was a mistake."

The words pierce through her like daggers. "Wh-What? I… I don't understand." She sits up and pulls a blanket up over her to cover her body.

"You're too young."

"…I'm an adult – "

"You're my daughter's age." He looks ashamed. And angry.

"Yes, and your daughter is about to have a child of her own…"

"It's just not right." He shakes his head.

She's lost for words. Determining right from wrong has never been one of her strong suits. She doesn't understand what is wrong about what they did, but she believes him. Hakoda has more moral integrity than she does after all. She curses herself for messing up. Again.

"We work together – what would people say?!" he continues, refusing to even look at her.

"I don't…"

"They'd think I'm using my position of power to take advantage of you."

"But you're not…"

"Of course not, but that's not what it would look like." He sighs with frustration. "This could destroy my reputation. Yours too for that matter."

It's a strange duality, simultaneously thinking "this can't be happening to me" and "of course this is happening to me". She feels empty inside, like she has nothing left to offer the world. She just wants to disappear. She never wanted to hurt this man or make him feel uncomfortable. "I'm sorry," she manages, her voice softer than a whisper.

"You should go."

The three words shatter her. "Okay," she murmurs, nodding. Slowly she stands. Her hands shake as they collect the few articles of clothing with which she came in. She's forced to cross in front of him to gather his coat from the floor. She's doing everything in her power to keep from breaking down.

"Azula, wait…"

She freezes. Her bottom lip begins to tremble.

"Are you okay? You're… you're bleeding."

She looks down at her legs, and she is in fact bleeding a little bit. "Y-Yes, nothing to worry about." She keeps her back turned toward him as she quickly slips her underwear on. "I hear that's pretty common one's first time. I hope I didn't stain your – "

"What?" he interrupts, panicked. "N-No, don't… don't tell me that was…"

Her first time. And probably her last time too. She shrugs. "Well, it's not like I've ever had a boyfriend before, n-not that I think of you as – "

He cuts her off by throwing his arms around her, hugging her tightly from behind.

She doesn't understand. Nothing makes sense. She doesn't know what to think or feel. Her body won't stop shaking.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, resting his head on top of hers. "I'm so sorry."

Hot tears roll down her cheeks.

"I just… I don't understand. Why me?"

She's quiet for a moment. "Well… I enjoy spending time with you. You're the only person who's ever made me feel… wanted. And I thought you cared for me." She wipes her eyes. "But I can see now that I miscalculated. You were just being nice."

"I… I do care for you. I just…" He sighs. "I wanted to be more of a father figure to you."

"That's what you want?!" she asks, suddenly feeling sick. She pushes his arms off of her and turns to face him, blocking her body with his coat.

"Well I did, but…" He shakes his head. "Some bridges can't be uncrossed."

"No, I suppose not." This is humiliating. All this time he just wanted to parent her, probably to make up for the shitty father she was dealt. Hakoda pities her. It's clear as day. He truly pities her. Spirits she is outraged. "Look Hakoda, you don't have to worry about anyone finding out about this. I won't tell a soul. No one would believe me even if I did. We can just pretend this never happened, okay? Your reputation won't be tarnished because of me." She turns to leave.

"Azula – "

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable, okay? I won't bother you again."

"Azula, stop!" he pleads.

She wants to leave but her feet won't let her.

"I'm the only one who needs to apologize here. I'm the only one at fault. You did nothing wrong."

"You said I was a mistake!" she blares, tears welling in her eyes once again.

"I know, a-and I'm sorry. I should have never said that."

"So you…" She feels like she's choking. "…you don't think I'm a mistake?"

"No." He takes a deep breath. "I was angry at myself, and I took it out on you. It was wrong of me."

"Why…" She slowly turns back around to face him. Her head is spinning. "Why are you angry at yourself?"

He shrugs. "For caving into temptation, and… well, I… I guess I feel guilty."

"But why?"

"Can I tell you something?" He pats the mattress, gesturing for her to sit next to him.

She nods and takes a seat.

He pulls the crumpled blanket behind them and wraps it around her shoulders. "I… I've never been able to be intimate with anyone since I lost Kya."

She gives him a puzzled look. "But didn't you have a girlfriend from the Northern Water Tribe?"

"Yes. Malina." He smiles faintly. "We… well, we did a lot to say the least, but every time we were going to have sex, I just… couldn't. I wanted to, I really wanted to, but every time I just kept thinking about Kya, how she was taken from me way before her time, what she would think if I moved on."

"Hakoda," she breathes. "I had no idea."

"I know it may seem like I have everything together, but… the war has left me… in pieces."

These words resonate with her. She feels his grief, his pain. He lost the love of his life, all because of the Fire Nation. Her people. At the same time, she feels less alone. She's not the only one who was deeply damaged from the war. "Well, I can understand that."

"I think with you, I just sort of reacted before my mind could process what I was doing. But now I just feel like Kya would be disappointed in me."

"It probably doesn't help that I'm a firebender…"

"No, that… doesn't help." He looks down solemnly.

"Well, obviously I can't speak for Kya, and I certainly hope I'm not overstepping here, but… I think Kya would want you to be happy. I don't think she'd want you to hang on to the past."

Slowly, he nods. "You're probably right."

She smiles softly at him.

"And… in the spirit of being completely honest, I… I did think about it. With you."

Her heart flutters at the admission.

"I mean, how could I not? You're smart, funny, charming when you want to be, beautiful beyond belief… I just never thought you would actually be interested in an old man like me – "

"I keep telling you, you're not old," she cuts in. Truth be told, she doesn't know how old Hakoda is, but she guesses he's in his late forties. Not that it matters to her. He's still very attractive.

"Okay, older," he laughs gently. "Anyway, I… I'm sorry I said all those horrible things to you. I'm sorry I hurt you. You don't deserve that."

"I…" She finds her chest aching once again. "I think I do," she murmurs. "For everything I've done – "

"No," he stops her. "I'm telling you, you don't deserve it. You have made amends, you deserve to be treated better. And you need to be kinder to yourself too." He takes her hand and presses it to his cheek. "I wish you could see what I see in you."

She looks into his blue eyes. His sincerity is disarming.

"Anyway, I hope you'll accept my apology," he continues. "But I understand if you – "

"I forgive you."

He smiles warmly at her.

She smiles back at him. "Well… I guess I should be on my way, let you get some sleep." She pulls her hand away from him and stands from the bed.

"You're leaving?"

She looks at him confused. "You… asked me to leave."

"I know." He looks defeated. "I said that out of anger, but you don't have to go if you don't want to."

"Hakoda," she sighs. "I already said I forgave you, and I don't want to overstay my welcome just because you feel sorry for me or you want to ease your conscience. You don't owe me anything, you know."

"I know, I… I want you to stay."

At last, he says the words she never knew she needed to hear, the words that cast all her doubts aside. "You do?" she whispers.

"I do," he affirms, "but only if you want to."

She gives him a bashful smile.

"How about I'll make us some tea while you get washed up? You can borrow one of my robes."

"That sounds nice, thank you."

They spend the rest of the night talking over some calming chamomile tea. For once, Azula finds herself listening more than talking as Hakoda opens up to her even more. She learns about his childhood, his relationship with Kya, what it was like to raise Sokka and Katara, his call to war, his imprisonment at the Boiling Rock… she learns the story of every scar on his body. It was already late when they started their tea, but since it's the winter solstice and therefore the shortest day of the year, it's still dark when they finally decide it's time to go to bed.

Azula has never shared a bed with anyone before. Even during her sleepovers with Mai and Ty Lee, she always made them sleep on separate cots. Hakoda's bed is about as big as her own at the palace, with plenty of space for the two of them. But she doesn't want to impose on him more than she already has, so she shifts to one side, close to the edge. She lays on her side with her back turned toward him and closes her eyes. She's exhausted, but with everything that happened that day, her mind is overly active.

As soon as she resigns herself to being awake all night, she feels Hakoda shift his body closer to hers and wrap his strong arms around her. Her heart skips a beat. She's never felt like this before, like someone truly cares for her. She smiles gently, relaxing into his warm embrace. Before long, the world around her fades as she's lulled into a deep sleep.