Chapter 13

Emma spends the next few days a bit shaken up by the experience of being stalked in the park. She wasn't sure if it was real or not… maybe it was just her imagination or the fear of her PTSD. Dr. Hopper hadn't actually diagnosed her with it, but there was no doubt that she had it. The thing is, she cannot prove that she was being followed, she was the only witness. So from this, she decided not to tell Killian or anyone else about it.

It was probably just some coincidence, she convinced herself. Not particularly comfortable with it, Emma carries her handgun in her purse just in case.

…

At the next therapy session, Emma tells Dr. Hopper in private about her anxieties about telling her son and Killian about the possibility of moving. They needed the space and it seemed practical with the new baby coming, but she didn't feel ready to officially "move in" with her boyfriend yet. Also, she knew her son hated change. He never adjusted well to school and she can't imagine what moving might do, possibly making it worse. She was also scared for herself. She had moved before, but since she entered adulthood, she wanted a sense of stability after moving from different foster homes for so long. Her apartment is one of those means of constancy.

Archie listens intently and makes a few notes.

"I can understand your hesitation to do all those things," he nods. "These anxieties are perfectly rationale and moving is never easy in any family."

"I don't know what to do Archie," Emma sighs heavily, she brushes her bangs out of her face.

"Well, I can't tell you what to do Emma, but I can make a few suggestions that you are welcome to try."

Emma bites her lip. She sometimes wishes that Archie would tell her what to do, it would take the pressure off her, she'd be reassured and feel like she was doing the right thing.

"You are obviously nervous about living with Killian in general. It might be a good idea to take him aside and ask him what he'd like to do. Maybe he won't want to live you with you, maybe he will, I can't say for sure. Do you feel nervous about living with another partner again?"

Tears flood Emma's eyes and she swallows a large lump in her throat.

"Is it possible that you might be afraid that Killian might leave like your ex-fiancé did?"

She wants to feel offended, even angry at the doctor, but she knew that he had spoken the truth. She was afraid of living with a boyfriend again. She and Neal had been together for so long, raising Henry and although they had their problems, she thought they were happy. However, for him to just leave her and his own child behind was a punch in the gut… She tries to deny it in her head but she knows that she might be afraid that Killian will leave her and their baby too. It hadn't stopped Neal, why would it stop him?

She knew it was very unlikely to happen. Killian had had many opportunities to leave her after she went missing, but he spent many days and nights looking for her. He could have left when she thought she might be carrying her abductor's baby, but he said he'd be there for her. And when they found out it was his, he promised he'd be by her side no matter what to raise it together. He could have upped and left when they realized they were having problems, but he stayed put, getting them both into therapy. Still, despite all the opportunities before, he still could go, disappear from their lives in the future. She and Neal were together for ten years or more… she couldn't remember and he walked out of her and Henry's life.

With much hesitation, Emma manages a small, "Y-Yes."

"And why might that be?"

Emma is silent for a long time, uncertain of how to answer it.

"It might be because of how much I've been abandoned in my life…"

She gives a few details of her birth parents, her foster homes, August, Neal, some ex-boyfriends and so on…

"Have you talked to Killian about this?"

"N-No,"

"Would you like to ask him?"

Emma swallows a massive lump in her throat and wipes away some tears with her sleeve.

"I…I don't know…"

"Well," Dr. Hopper says. "How about you think about it for a little while. I will take Killian and talk to him about whatever he wants. And then, if you feel comfortable with it, or maybe in another session, you can ask him about it."

She turns red. She feels embarrassed to ask such a question. In the back of her mind, she knew Killian was unlike any man she'd ever dated… she cared for him… maybe even… loved him on some level and he likely felt the same. And yet, her mind still thought that he might run… Her insecurity was troubling.

"Take your time Emma, I'm here for you and so is he…"

…

After Killian's private session, the expectant mother is invited back in. Her mind had been in a tug of war the whole time, deciding whether she should ask him if he'd stay with her. She thought of different ways to phrase it, but all of them sounded like she was desperate for love. She was so afraid of how he might react or in general, how he might respond.

She sits on the couch next to Killian. He looks at her with those gentle eyes, the eyes that captivated her and made her melt. Her heartbeat hit overdrive whenever she was near him, she felt safe in his presence. She felt pain when he did and wanted him… she wanted him.

Even though it sends a shiver up her spine, she reaches out and grabs Killian's hand.

"Are you alright, Love?" he asks gently.

Emma gazes into his eyes and finds herself at a loss for words, at least for a little while. The anxiety is gnawing at her brain. One second she wants to ask, the next she wants to wait.

Finally, a kick from the baby changes it. She'd been so afraid and unsure, all it would take is a nudge in the right direction.

"Killian…" she begins. "You and I know that we've both had hard lives. We've been hurt and lost more than we've gained. Sometimes I think I'm still losing and I guess by now, I feel like I deserve it…"

"Oh, Emma…" he says, squeezing her hand.

"Please let me finish," she insists. "Neal and I were together for so long. We did things we weren't proud of, raised a son together…we were even going to get married…"

Some of these words hurt Killian a little bit, at the mention of her ex-fiancé. The two had intended to get married and he hadn't even said "I love you," to her. His stomach twists, thinking she might be pushing him further and further away now, that she might end it to avoid the heartbreak. Cementing those walls around her heart.

"But… in the end, we had been bending for so long that he broke and left me and Henry. I couldn't believe it and for a long time, I thought I was destined to never feel love… but then you came into my life. You made me feel things that I didn't know were possible and you did everything you could to show me you cared. When I was…gone, I thought about you and assumed you might've been gone too, but you stayed. You went beyond anything I could have imagined or asked of you and you still continue to surprise me. And now that we're here, with a baby on the way and ... I feel stupid asking this because you've proven time and time again that you won't but… is there a chance that you would leave us?"

Immediately, he answers without any hesitation. "Absolutely not." He leans forward and kisses her deeply. Instead of being haunted or repulsed, Emma feels comfort and relief by this answer and gives into her passion. She puts her hands on his face and pulls him closer. Her heart is soaring, tears fill her eyes as she feels his arms go around her.

Eventually, the two remember where they are and pull back, but he keeps his arms around her.

"Never will I ever leave you, Emma," he says with as much passion as the kiss. He feels tears come to his eyes as well. Before he can stop himself…

"I love you, Emma Swan and I always have."

Her green eyes go wide and he feels his heart drop. He cannot believe he just said that in the middle of a therapy session no less. She's unsure of how to respond to it, she looks like lightning struck her.

"I loved you since the moment I met you, Emma. I loved you and wanted to do whatever I could to make you happy. I fought to bring you home and that we could be together again. I may have had a rough life myself, but never will I abandon those that I love. You, Henry and the baby…" He gently puts his hand on her swollen belly.

Emma is in tears. Her head is spinning and her heart might break through her chest. Some stupid part of her mind wants to convince her that he's lying, but she knows he means it and… she loves him too. It just may have taken her a little longer to realize it. She wanted him to be with her, she could imagine a good life with him, she wanted his protective arms around her every night and his eyes gazing at her every day. She wanted to give herself to him and hold him forever. Her anxieties meant nothing, to hell with them, her walls are damned now! She couldn't imagine him ever leaving, she wanted to keep him here and make him happy too.

"I love you too," she says through her tears.

"Oh Love!" he says.

The two are crying and they kiss deeply once again. This moment was a true declaration of love; show the devotion to one another and the passion in their hearts. They were meant to be together, even though the road would not be easy for either of them.

It's a long time before they break apart again. They cannot stop the tears from coming, they look lovingly into each other's eyes.

"I can't believe we just said that," she whispers in disbelief.

"Aye," he agrees.

"I want to be with you Killian, I want to see your face every morning when I wake up, I want to kiss you goodbye as we go to work, I want you to hold me every time we go to bed…" She sucks in a deep breath. "Will you move in with me?"

"Are you serious?"

"Y-Yes," she says,

She then goes on to explain that she'd been thinking about it and she wanted a home that they could share with their growing family. She describes it as best she can, before bringing up the picture on her phone. She apologized for not making this decision with him, but Killian cannot stop smiling. He doesn't care at this moment, he wants to be with her, no matter where they end up.

He kisses her again, cups her cheeks in his hands. "Of course, I will Love, anywhere you go I will go"

The two embrace tightly, any other anxieties are forgotten, the joy of their happy moment could never be broken.

Soon, Archie sets up another session and suggest that maybe bring Henry if they plan to tell him about the move. The couple thank the doctor and walk out holding hands.

Now that one of them knew, the next task would be much harder than declaring their love. Telling Henry.

They finally said it! Now they just have to tell Henry. How do you think they should do it? Let me know.