Thank you for reading! I don't own any of Harry Potter! Please let me know if you enjoy!
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A few days later, Lily smiled to herself while she tended to her morning tasks in the apothecary.
It was Thursday.
Severus usually came by to purchase his ingredients on Thursday afternoons, once classes were finished for the day.
Just as Lily assumed, several hours later, the bell at the front door chimed and Severus walked into the apothecary.
"Hey, Sev!" Lily greeted Severus with quiet enthusiasm as he approached the counter and handed her his list of needed items.
"Hello, Lily." Severus replied.
Severus looked at Lily intently and Lily blinked at Severus.
Each was hoping that the other would speak…...but neither did.
When Severus was quiet for a long moment, Lily cleared her throat and turned around to fill his order.
Severus's voice sounded like a low rumble in his throat when he finally broke the silence and asked, "...Feeling alright?"
Lily turned her head quickly to look at Severus and replied, "Just fine…...why?"
Severus's face turned a whiter shade of pale as he fidgeted on his feet, hoping Lily would spare him from asking his obvious question out loud.
"Oh……" Lily said, feeling a bit silly as she realized what Severus was alluding to in a very subtle way. "I'm not sure I have any cause to feel different yet, it's going to take more than five days to find out, you know."
"Ah." Severus nodded.
No, Severus did not know.
Severus Snape was not very knowledgeable about the intricacies of conception and pregnancy.
But he could learn…….
However, Severus's ultimate goals were to insure Lily's happiness and to win Lily's heart.
The problem was that Severus didn't know how to approach Lily about either.
Severus and Lily had quite an agreement between them and they had shared a great night together and now…….
Now what was Severus supposed to say?
Or do?
Severus didn't want to invite Lily over again because he didn't want Lily to think that he was trying to use her as a sex doll.
But, Severus didn't want to push Lily away, either.
Erring on the side of caution, Severus decided that he would rather seem courteous and polite to Lily than brash and pushy.
"Please, Lily, let me know if you need anything. Anything at all…..." Severus said quietly while he gazed at Lily with sadness in his eyes.
Severus wanted to say more.
"That's very kind of you, Sev." Lily replied with a smile that had lost much of its original joy.
Lily's heart ached.
That was it?
Severus paid for his order, turned, and left the apothecary.
Lily sighed to herself once Severus was gone.
That was it.
Lily frowned and laid her forearms down on the counter as she stood in the vacant apothecary.
Severus had asked about her, that was nice…..
But he hadn't mentioned any more visits……
That wasn't good.
Lily had needed assistance.
Severus had given it to her, like the good friend that he was.
That was all fine.
Lily supposed that should be happy with that.
But Lily frowned as she imagined that it couldn't be helped……..
Lily knew that she couldn't possibly just blurt out that not only did she want to be with Severus again, but that she would like to be with Severus, period.
Severus would think her current predicament had all been a rouse.
Lily laughed, thinking about the way that Severus was suspicious of others.
After her laugh, Lily's smile didn't return for the rest of the day.
The thing that bothered Lily the most about Severus's brief visit was that he had come to the apothecary empty-handed.
Perhaps it had fallen off the chair…….
Perhaps Severus hadn't found it yet……...
Or, perhaps Severus knew exactly what Lily had done and why.
Perhaps Severus had thrown it in the rubbish bin out of disgust…...
Lily didn't know the particulars.
Lily only knew that Severus had not returned her garter belt, which she had purposely left in his bedroom for him to find after their passionate night together.
And that was very upsetting to Lily, indeed!
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If Lily had known Severus's real motive, she would've had a bright grin across her face.
Lily had left her garter belt behind for Severus as a calling card, but Severus chose to treat it as a keepsake, at least for the moment.
Originally, Severus planned to return Lily's garter and that would give them a practical reason to see each other again.
But Severus discovered just how much that he liked having a piece, even just a small piece of Lily with him in his room.
Every evening, Severus glanced over at Lily's garter, which hung on the chair, before he went to sleep and imagined Lily would come and join him in a few minutes.
Every morning, Severus looked over at Lily's garter and pretended that she had just gotten up before him, but surely she would come in and kiss him good morning very soon.
After the first two or three days passed, Severus decided that he was not interested in giving Lily her garter back at all.
Wasn't it enough that he had to let her go after their exquisite night together?
Wasn't it enough that he had to pretend to be satisfied that they were friends and nothing more?
After Severus left the apothecary on Thursday, he nearly choked as Lily's words echoed in his mind while he walked down the street in the chilly November twilight.
That's very kind of you, Sev.
Severus grit his teeth to hold back the tears that threatened to well in his eyes.
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November was an annoyingly busy month.
Lily and Severus did not get to spend much time together outside of his visits to the apothecary on Thursday afternoons.
Unfortunately, several weeks in a row, a line of impatient customers formed behind Severus, which forced him and Lily to keep their conversations brief and professional.
In his spare time, Severus had started reading books and medical journals on fertility and pregnancy.
If his coupling with Lily had been successful, then Severus was determined to take care of Lily, even if he had to do that from afar.
And………
If their union had not been successful, then Severus was more than ready to try again~.
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Lily still wasn't certain about the outcome.
With Lily's health problems, sometimes she missed entire menstrual cycles, and even when she didn't, her periods were often delayed, followed by a punishing arrival.
But by December, Lily was more than three weeks late, and so, she scheduled an appointment with her doctor.
Just to check…….
Just to see………
Lily didn't admit it to herself, but she was frightened.
What if…...it hadn't worked?
What if her doctor told her it was too late, that it would never happen?
……...That she actually needed her operation right away?
But………
Lily smiled as she thought…...
What if it…...had…..worked?
How terrifyingly wonderful would that be?
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Lily's uncertainty was quelled one morning, a few days before her doctor's appointment.
Standing at work, at ten-fourteen, Lily was fine.
As soon as the clock struck ten-fifteen, a sudden, overwhelming, wave of nausea gripped Lily and sent her dashing into the washroom.
For a miserable moment, Lily was quite sick, but by ten-sixteen, she felt fine, as if nothing had happened at all.
It was so brief and so intense that Lily imagined the orange juice she had for breakfast had probably spoiled, but the next morning, the same thing happened.
Ten-fourteen, fine.
Ten-fifteen, sick.
Ten-sixteen, fine.
The next day was the same and so was the day after that……...
Lily's doctor's appointment was Thursday evening, but she wore a confident smile.
Lily still wanted to hear the doctor's advice, of course, but she already knew the answer……..
Lily was carrying Severus's child.
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On that Thursday, Severus's morning classes were postponed due to an urgent repair in the dungeon.
Severus was annoyed by the inconvenience, but he decided to use the adjustment to his schedule to surprise Lily and maybe find a quiet moment to chat with her.
At ten minutes after ten, the apothecary doorbell chimed when Severus stepped into the shop.
Lily was behind the counter, standing between the storage room and the bathroom, feeling fine, but anticipating what was to come.
Lily's eyes narrowed when Severus walked in.
Ten-eleven.
Oh no!
Of all the times Severus could have chosen to drop in, did it have to be at that exact moment?!
"Hey, Sev!" Lily called urgently.
Severus saw the tension in Lily's face and it concerned him.
What was wrong?
Lily normally looked happy to see him, but not today…...
"Hello," Severus replied as he walked up to the counter and pulled his list out of his robes. "...Are you alright?"
Ten-twelve.
"I'm fine!" Lily smiled brightly. "Give me four minutes and I'll be right with you!"
Four minutes?
What an oddly specific estimate…..
Severus didn't mind waiting, but he noticed that he was the only customer in the apothecary……...
"...Alright….." Severus replied.
Ten-thirteen.
"Um, Sev, I'm going to warn you, you may want to come back at ten-sixteen." Lily said seriously.
"What happens at ten-sixteen?" Severus asked, narrowing his eyes at Lily. "What's the matter? You're acting very strange."
Ten-fourteen.
"I don't have time to tell you!" Lily replied.
Severus's gaze followed Lily's fingers as she gathered her long, red hair into her hands and pulled it back.
As soon as ten-fifteen arrived, Severus watched a sickly green shadow cover Lily's beautiful face and she whirled around, racing into the bathroom.
Severus's eyes widened when he heard Lily start to wretch.
In one swift motion, Severus leapt over the apothecary counter to get to Lily, his black robes swirling elegantly around him.
While Lily was busy being sick, she became vaguely aware of someone standing behind her comfortingly.
Gentle hands replaced hers and held her hair back for her……..
Once Lily finished and flushed away the mess, she swallowed, breathing hard but feeling better.
Ten-sixteen.
Lily turned her head and saw Severus crouched dutifully behind her, holding her red hair out of the way, with a look of deep worry etched into his face.
"You didn't have to do that, Sev…….Thank you, but it's ok…..I'm alright. I feel much better now." Lily said with a wry smile, trying to reassure Severus,
The look that Severus was giving her almost made Lily uneasy.
Severus looked so worried……….
"So……….it's true, then?" Severus asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Lily blushed when Severus's black eyes flickered down to her flat belly.
"I…..I don't know for certain, yet." Lily replied quietly. "But I'm fairly sure…..this has been going on for several days now, so……."
Severus was silent but he did not let go of Lily's hair, although it was clear that she no longer needed him to hold it for her.
"I have an appointment with the doctor this afternoon." Lily added.
Severus was still silent and he was still staring at Lily with that agonized look of concern on his face.
Lily thought that Severus was in shock or that he was angry, for some reason.
Severus was feeling a lot of emotions, but anger wasn't one of them.
Finally, Severus remembered himself and let go of Lily's hair.
Lily cleared her throat, but she wasn't anticipating his next question.
"...May I come?"
Lily blinked at Severus.
Severus had his jaw clenched as if he were expecting Lily to strike him while he waited on her answer.
"What?" Lily asked.
"May I come with you……..to the doctor?" Severus asked in his low, slow voice.
"...Sure." Lily shrugged. "That would be…..that would be lovely! I'm actually rather nervous about it!" Lily laughed.
It felt good to Lily, to tell someone she was nervous.
Lily was elated that Severus wanted to go with her.
Severus was overjoyed that Lily hadn't pushed him away.
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When their confirmation arrived later that afternoon, the news felt unreal to Severus and Lily both.
Severus had been pacing outside the room while the doctor examined Lily.
Severus was nearly consumed by his thoughts when the door swung open and Lily's doctor beamed at Severus, drawing assumptions.
But it was Lily's face that gave it away……
Severus walked towards Lily, his body seemingly light and limber as he focused on the bright, beaming, jubilant smile on her face as she sat on the bed.
"...Yes? Is it…..is it true?" Severus questioned Lily, kneeling down in front of her slowly.
"Yes, Sev! Yes!" Lily cried, throwing her arms around Severus and hugging him tightly before she could stop herself.
Severus stiffened at the sudden contact, but when he heard Lily's heart beating in her chest, he relaxed and closed his eyes for just a second.
Given the situation and Severus's interaction with Lily, Lily's doctor surmised that they were married.
Lily was beyond happy and she sat listening quietly and attentively to the doctor's recommendations, but Severus had never experienced such an unignorable urge to learn.
Severus asked question after question after question….
Lily's appointment slot had only been fifteen minutes long, but it was nearly an hour later before she and Severus finally left the doctor's office.
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By the time Lily and Severus stepped out of the building, it was dark and the air was cold.
Lily grabbed Severus's hand and although the action surprised him, he happily held Lily's hand in his own.
They walked together a short ways and then as they stood where they would part to go to their separate dwellings, Lily smiled at Severus.
Severus couldn't help but smile back at Lily.
Severus's smile was slight, but it was a smile, and for him, that was something.
"Thanks, Sev! Thank you so much!" Lily said, the gratitude shining through her voice.
Severus said nothing as Lily let go of his hand, took a step back, and then turned around to walk away.
Oh, it felt so wrong……
Lily was walking away from him…..
And now she was walking away with his child growing inside her……..
Severus couldn't stand it.
It was too much to bear.
Severus swallowed thickly and called out, "Lily!"
They were alone on the street so Severus wasn't worried about someone overhearing them.
Lily turned around very quickly, as if she had been waiting on Severus to stop her.
"Shall we…….go back to my chambers for a bit? I have some ginger tea I could make for you." Severus offered.
But Lily rammed a javelin through Severus's heart and shook her head, "Sorry, Sev, I can't! I have something that needs to be put in the oven at home and I have some soup for dinner."
But you're already got something of mine in your oven, Lily. Doesn't that count for anything? Severus thought mournfully.
"...Would you like to have some?" Lily asked hopefully.
Severus brightened up a bit when he realized that Lily was inviting him to come home with her.
Without hesitation, Severus nodded.
Lily reached out her hand and the two apparated to her apartment.
Severus sat the table while Lily put her bread in the oven and heated the soup, serving them both their meal a short while later.
While Lily chatted to Severus about their happy news, Severus listened, but he was busy thinking.
A child…...
Lily was going to have his child…….
Severus's black eyes glistened like burning coals as Lily spoke.
Lily wasn't talking like it was her baby anymore, no……
Lily was talking like it was their baby and that's what made Severus happy.
Severus vowed to be beside Lily every step of the way.
Supporting Lily, that would be an honor and a pleasure for Severus.
…..But sooner or later, Severus knew he was going to have to tell Lily just how deeply in love with her he really was...