Thank you for reading! I don't own any of Harry Potter! Please let me know if you enjoy!
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A week later, Severus stood at the front of the potions classroom with his robes hanging elegantly at his sides while he spoke.
"Today we'll have our final lesson before exams begin next week." Severus announced to his second class of the day.
Severus's mouth was addressing his students but his eyes were watching the time.
Ten-thirteen.
"I expect you all to pay close attention today. The subject we'll be covering is quite complex and you can be certain the topic will appear on the exam." Severus added.
Ten-fourteen.
The students in front of Severus shifted in their seats, clutching their textbooks while they waited for Professor Snape to go on.
Severus spoke again, "Now, if everyone will turn to…..."
Ten-fifteen.
Severus flicked his wand, freezing his students in their seats before he quickly apparated straight into the apothecary where Lily worked.
Severus made it just in time to dash after Lily into the bathroom and hold her hair back until she finished her morning purge.
Ten-sixteen.
Once Lily's nausea subsided, Severus quickly made sure that she was alright, and in an instant, he apparated straight back to his class and unfroze his students before they even realized what had happened.
"...page three hundred and ninety-four." Severus said slowly.
Professor Snape's students obediently did as he instructed, but some of them blinked in confusion while their fingers turned the pages of their books.
How odd.
Sometimes, it really did feel like it took Professor Snape forever to speak……..
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That was Severus's and Lily's new morning routine.
Each day, Severus came to comfort Lily while she emptied her stomach at her body's urging.
Lily was touched by Severus's kindness.
Lily thanked Severus each time, although she did remind him that he wasn't obligated to comfort her.
But helping Lily in any way brought Severus happiness…...
Severus wanted to support Lily, to stand beside Lily, to be there for Lily in whatever way possible, even if he just held her back while she was sick.
Besides, it also gave Severus an excuse to see Lily every day and to ask how she was doing.
However, another week and a half passed and the end of the semester came as the holidays arrived.
When class was no longer in session, Severus was able to stay and chat with Lily past ten-sixteen.
"So, not teaching today, Sev?" Lily asked one Monday morning.
"No, not today. Exams finished Friday, so until January, it's all desk work." Severus replied.
"That's good." Lily nodded.
"Yes, I'm ready for a break from those dunderheads." Severus commented.
A break spent with you, Lily, would be ideal….. Severus thought to himself.
Severus remembered how much Lily usually enjoyed the holidays but for some reason, she didn't seem as exhilarated about the season as she had been in Severus's memories.
"I suppose you'll be going home to your family, then?" Severus asked.
"Ah…...no." Lily said sadly. "My parents, they passed away in a car crash a couple of years ago, so…...And Tuney doesn't want anything to do with me, I'm afraid……..we had a falling out, you see."
Though Severus wanted very much to invite Lily to spend the holidays with him, he felt that it would have seemed inappropriate as a sad silence, that was heavy with Lily's statement, settled between them.
"I'm very sorry to hear that." Severus nodded. "You have my deepest condolences."
"Thanks, Sev. It's alright." Lily shrugged. "Both mine and Tuney's names are still on the deed to the house, so we take turns looking after it. I figured I might drop by, just to check on the place."
Before Severus replied, a happy thought filled his heart with the rich drippings of a fresh hope.
So Lily was going to be home alone for the holidays, in her parent's empty house…….
Which was right next to Severus's childhood home……...
Severus's parents had abandoned the property not long after he graduated, leaving it in his care…….and he had wisely chosen not to sell it.
A smile curled in the back of Severus's mind.
Come to think of it, Severus also needed to go and check on his dwelling in Spinner's End.
And if Severus just happened to be there at the same time as Lily and he just happened to see her, then perhaps………
……..It wouldn't look so odd if Severus invited Lily over for dinner.
………….As friends, of course~.
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On the twentieth of December, Severus apparated into the apothecary at ten-fifteen to comfort Lily, but he found that she had been temporarily replaced by a male clerk.
"I'm looking for Lily Evans." Severus declared in his low, slow voice.
"Lily won't be back until January." The clerk shrugged. "She's on holiday."
Ah.
Severus didn't waste a moment.
As quickly as he had appeared, Severus apparated out of the apothecary and back into his rooms at Hogwarts.
Within the span of a few, brief minutes, Severus packed a trunk, grabbed his heavy coat, and quickly journeyed to his old home in Spinner's End.
As soon as he arrived, Severus threw his trunk into his room and then he peered out the window, across the street, to observe the Evans family's residence.
Severus sat there vigilantly and watched all day, waiting for Lily to come.
But that didn't happen.
That night, every hour, on the hour, Severus woke up and looked out the window, scanning over the property to see if any lights were on.
Nope.
Severus Snape was unbothered.
Severus would sit and wait for Lily however long it took for her to come home.
Even if it meant that Severus just sat and stared out of his window the entire holiday season.
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Two days.
Two days passed before Lily came back to her old childhood home.
Severus had moved from the window only to eat, go to the bathroom, and sleep at intervals.
When Severus saw a taxi pull up to the house, he began to get anxious with excitement.
The taxi door opened and Lily stepped out.
Lily!
While Severus watched Lily finally walk up the front yard, his black eyes widened.
Alright…….
Alright…….
How long should he wait?
An hour?
Two hours?
Severus was mulling over how much time he should allow to lapse between Lily's arrival and him knocking on her door when something caught his eye.
A moment later, Severus watched Lily walk away from her house, back up the front yard, and bend over to reach into the taxi that was parked on the street.
Severus watched in horror as Lily struggled to pull a huge box out of the car.
Severus's breath caught in his throat as he imagined the slew of things that could go wrong.
Without any more thought to the time or how his sudden appearance may seem overly observant, Severus apparated.
What did Lily think she was doing?!
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That was exactly what Severus wanted to know.
"What do you think you're doing?" Severus snapped, his voice as cold as if he were speaking to one of his mischievous students as he appeared behind Lily.
Severus resisted the urge to admire the view he was receiving of Lily's rounded bottom while she was bent over into the car.
Startled, Lily quickly let go of the box and straightened up as she turned around.
"Sev! You frightened me to death! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Lily snapped back, laying a hand on her chest.
"What do you think you're doing?" Severus repeated in an icy tone. "I just happened to look across the yard and find you like this? You have no business lifting heavy things."
Sure.
Severus "just happened" to look across the yard.
Staring out the window vigilantly for two days straight qualified as that, right?
Lily frowned at Severus. "This box isn't heavy, Sev, it's just…..unwieldy. The doctor said nothing over eleven kilograms, it can't possibly weigh that much."
"Move." Severus commanded, gesturing for Lily to step aside.
Lily moved out of the way and Severus pulled the box out of the car.
"Lily…..." Severus sighed in disappointment. "I've told you many times to ask if you needed anything, anything at all."
"I'm not going to trouble you to lift a silly box for me, Sev!" Lily giggled.
"You couldn't possibly trouble me with anything." Severus replied very seriously.
Severus and Lily locked gazes until Lily blushed and looked down at her feet, trying not to smile.
Severus cleared his throat and glanced at the box in his arms, "So, then, where is this going?"
"Come on, I'll show you." Lily replied and she walked along, leading Severus into the house while the taxi drove away after Lily paid her fare.
Lily had Severus place the box in the living room and once she removed the lid, Severus saw it was full of seasonal decorations.
"I was coming just to check on the house, but you know, I was just feeling kind of…….sad….this year, so I've decided to stay for a bit." Lily smiled at Severus. "At least I have the memories of when I was a little girl here, that's more than what I have in my apartment. I would have apparated with all of this, but I didn't want to risk breaking anything."
Severus nodded and watched as Lily started to unpack the box.
Severus did not have the same happy memories of his childhood that Lily did and that may have been why he had never invested much time or money into sprucing up the dwelling he had inherited.
Severus's childhood home was dirty and dilapidated, but that was no matter, he would clean it as best he could and then Lily would-
"What about you, Sev? I didn't know you'd be here too." Lily added.
"I come back on breaks to look after my property. My parents moved out and they gave the house to me." Severus replied.
Severus just wanted Lily to respond and then with his next breath, he planned to invite her over.
That wouldn't seem overly ambitious, that would look friendly and polite.
"Well since we're both here, would you like to come over for dinner?" Lily blinked.
No!
It was unfortunate for both of them.
Severus was overjoyed and irritated at the same time.
Severus wanted to ask Lily to come for dinner!
Severus wanted to cook for Lily!
Now he couldn't possibly……
Enough.
Enough games.
"I'd love to, but I was about to ask you the same thing." Severus revealed, chuckling dryly. "Though I must admit your house is more desirable than mine."Severus added as he glanced around.
Petunia and Lily had kept the house in good condition, it looked as neat and as comfortable as if Mr. and Mrs. Evans were still there.
"I can't fight you about that, Sev." Lily shrugged.
"Perhaps I can bring something, then?" Severus asked.
Severus could still make something special for Lily, that would be good…..
"Alright…..do you have anything for dessert?" Lily asked. "I saw the bakery was closed when I rode through town."
"Of course." Severus replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
No, Severus had nothing for dessert, but he would get whatever Lily wanted, at whatever cost necessary.
"Is there anything in particular you'd like?" Severus asked.
Aanything for dear Lily……
"Chocolate would be lovely!" Lily said with a smile.
"Very well." Severus nodded.
"...And some lemon." Lily added.
"Aright." Severus replied.
"...And just a bit of pickle." Lily requested.
"...Certainly." Severus blinked.
"Anything else?" Severus asked patiently.
"No, just that, I promise." Lily smiled.
Severus turned to leave but before he did, Lily called over to him.
"Come back at seven?" Lily asked.
"Promptly." Severus turned and nodded, then he narrowed his eyes at Lily as he commanded, "No lifting."
"No lifting." Lily agreed with a smile.
Severus left Lily's and went back to his house.
Hmm…….
Severus was not a sweets lover.
Severus didn't even have a granule of sugar in his kitchen but he needed a dessert, a good dessert, one that Lily would find delicious………by seven.
Severus wrinkled his nose in disgust when he thought of what Lily had asked for.
The chocolate and lemon was passable, Severus supposed, but the pickles?
Besides shopping for baking supplies, Severus would have to find a jar of pickles too.
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Severus proceeded carefully.
Using one of his mother's old cookbooks as a reference, Severus spent the majority of the afternoon working on baking Lily a decadent chocolate lemon cake.
Severus had never baked anything in his life.
Severus was a little apprehensive about the task, but baking and brewing potions both had one thing in common…...they involved chemistry.
And Severus was quite talented when it came to chemistry……..
Severus's first attempt at the cake was decent, but the bottom was a little burned so he tossed it in the rubbish bin and tried again.
Severus was much more pleased by his second attempt at the cake.
Yes, the second one was much better.
Tall and thick, layered with supple-looking, chocolate frosting, by the time Severus had finished icing the cake and placing it on the serving plate, he smirked proudly to himself.
Perhaps potions weren't the only thing that Severus Snape could master…….
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Sharply at seven, Severus arrived at Lily's holding the chocolate lemon cake he had baked, with a jar of pickles tucked under his arm.
Lily welcomed Severus in and to Severus's great pleasure, Lily admired the cake, exclaiming how wonderful it looked.
"I hope you enjoy it." Severus nodded at Lily.
"I'm sure I will! It looks great, Sev!" Lily smiled. "Thank you!"
"It was my pleasure." Severus replied.
That was not a lie…….
Lily had roasted some chicken and potatoes for dinner and Severus assured her that he was perfectly fine eating in front of the muggle television.
Severus despised muggle entertainment, but he knew that Lily had fond memories of it, so he said nothing against the programs they watched.
Severus was rewarded for his consideration.
After Severus and Lily had finished eating, while they stared at the screen that blasted noise into the room, Lily cuddled against Severus.
Severus blinked at first when Lily gently pressed her shoulder against his, but eventually, they settled together, with Severus laying an arm around her and Lily placing her head on his chest.
Just as a commercial came on, Lily stood suddenly and looked at Severus, "The cake! Sev! Were you going to let me forget?"
Severus watched Lily walk into the kitchen and remove two plates from the cabinets.
"I-I don't care for any." Severus called out to Lily.
"'Don't care for any'?!" Lily blinked at Severus. "Sev, you made it! I know sweets aren't really your thing, but at least try it! Look, I'll cut you a very small piece, it'll only be a couple bites."
"Do I have to?" Severus groaned.
"Yes, you have to." Lily replied while she cut the cake and slid the pieces onto the dessert plates beside her.
Lily picked up the plates and padded back over to the sofa, holding hers while she passed the other to Severus.
Lily had indeed cut Severus a very, very small piece, it was barely more than a sliver, and for that, he was grateful.
But Lily's piece……..
Lily's piece had to be at least a quarter of the entire cake.
It flattered Severus when Lily tried a bite and closed her eyes, delighted by the taste that filled her mouth.
While Lily wasn't paying attention, Severus allowed himself a small grin of triumph.
But that triumph was quickly replaced by horror…..
After her first bite, Lily laid her plate on the coffee table, stood, and walked back to the kitchen.
"Do you not like it?" Severus asked quickly, growing worried.
Had he interpreted Lily's expression wrong?
Had Lily closed her eyes in disgust?
"Oh, no, I love it, Sev! It's just missing a little something!" Lily smiled as she returned to the sofa a moment later.
Lily sat down beside Severus.
Severus blinked when Lily held the jar of pickles he had brought out to him and asked, "Sev? Can you open this?"
"Sure." Severus replied.
Severus was confused but he opened the jar and handed it back to Lily.
That was when the tragedy happened.
Severus watched in shock as Lily sat the pickle jar down on the coffee table and placed a clean spoon inside.
Severus furrowed his brow as he saw Lily place a couple of pickles on her plate, right beside the chocolate lemon cake.
But Severus's eyes widened when Lily took the spoon out of the pickle jar and began to douse her piece of cake in pickle juice.
"Lily, what on earth are you doing?!" Severus asked before he could stop himself, watching the pickle juice ooze through the decadent layers of chocolate lemon cake like acid on silk.
Lily glanced over at Severus and shrugged, "Didn't I ask for chocolate, lemon, and pickle?"
"You don't really mean to eat that……." Severus challenged, clearly appalled.
"Oh, I do, though!" Lily grinned at Severus as she took a bite. Lily giggled after she swallowed, "I'm sorry, Sev! Where's my manners? Would you like some?"
Severus's face twisted in disgust when Lily offered him a bite of her pickle juice-soaked chocolate lemon cake.
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As the night went on, both Severus and Lily tried not to draw attention to the late hour.
Severus didn't want to go and Lily didn't want him to leave.
Although it would be too presumptive of Severus to ask to stay…….
And too forward of Lily to invite him, right?
So Severus and Lily forced each other to sit up on the sofa and stay awake, just so they could be together.
Severus had no trouble, he was no stranger to self denial.
Refusing to sleep was a small task compared with the daily weight that hung on Severus's pale shoulders, but Lily……..
Lily may have been able to stay alert, but the life inside of her was dragging her eyelids down lower and lower as each minute ticked by…….
Severus won.
Lily broke first.
"Sev?" Lily asked, while the pattern signaling the end of the television broadcast plastered itself onto the screen in front of them.
"Yes?" Severus replied.
"It's quite late, isn't it?" Lily asked.
"It certainly is." Severus sighed.
That was his cue to leave…….
"I'd better be going." Severus added while he stood to go. "Thank you for dinner, it was…...lovely."
Severus wasn't referring to the food……
"Sev! Wait!" Lily protested, sitting up straight and reaching out for him.
Severus's tired, black eyes widened and he turned to face Lily.
"I……..it's a silly thing, really. You'll think I'm childish…...but….I've never spent a night in this house by myself before…." Lily said quietly.
Severus's hopes rose alarmingly quickly.
"And I was going to ask….." Lily swallowed.
Severus's pulse was pounding so hard, it could be seen through his throat…...
"Well, I mean...Do you really have to go?" Lily asked quietly.
Severus nearly exploded with joy.
"...No." Severus replied after a moment, pretending to have to stop and think so he wouldn't seem as eager as he felt. "I don't really have to go, Lily."
Lily smiled wryly at Severus and Severus felt a sense of comfort wash over him.
Severus quickly retrieved the few things he would need for the night from his home, put a charm around Lily's so they could remain undetected and then the two settled in.
Into Lily's bed, together……...
Lily conveniently didn't have any extra sheets for the bare mattresses in any of the other bedrooms……
And there just weren't enough blankets to spare for the sofa, so……..
There, on that chilly December night, Severus and Lily slept, once again, wound together.
It was the best sleep that either of them had since they had made love.
Lily had dozed straight off on Severus's chest and Severus was quick to follow, folding his arms gently around Lily.
There was no sex that night, but Severus was not disappointed at all.
Severus had not wanted to stay for sex.
Severus had just wanted be with Lily.
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And so Severus and Lily began an awkward, tension-filled, happy dance around each other, one that was bursting with promise and filled with anticipation.
During that winter break, every day, at some point, either Severus came to Lily or Lily went to visit Severus.
Lily did the cooking.
Severus did the baking.
Severus was still at Lily's side every morning at ten-fifteen to support her and all the while, Severus searched for an opportunity to tell Lily how he felt.
But no moment ever seemed right………
With the pregnancy in the way, how could Severus express his feelings for Lily without her dismissing his declaration of love as simple chivalry?
The last thing that Severus wanted was for Lily to think that his feelings for her were nothing more than just the result of responsible obligation.
And Lily was in an equally difficult predicament.
Lily had already promised to request nothing from Severus.
So in her current condition, Lily was frightened that if she mentioned she had feelings for Severus, he would think she was trying to use him to be the partner she had insisted that she didn't need.
Lily sat and thought about it often, even though they didn't really talk about the child much yet…….
When would there ever be a good time to tell Severus the longings of her heart?
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A few days before the winter break ended, Lily was packing up her decorations, waiting on Severus to come and share lunch with her when a pesky headache started just as she bent down to put a candle in the box.
Lily frowned and raised her hand to her head.
Lily had a slight headache a few days ago, but it passed without consequence and it had been so slight that she hadn't even mentioned it, attributing it to the cold weather.
But this………
This was…….
This was awful and it worsened by the second.
Immediate, pounding pressure that threatened to blast her skull open, sharp and sudden…….
Lily heard her heart beating in her ears as she reached a shaky hand out and pulled herself down into her father's old armchair.
Lily exhaled slowly but her brow furrowed as the pain intensified, blurring her vision…….
In the haze of that drowsy agony, in the back of her mind, Lily grew worried as an unwelcome feeling of mortal dread crept up her spine…….
Something was wrong.
Lily needed to call for help.
Severus……...
Severus could help.
Her wand……..
The phone…….
Neither were close.
Lily blinked slowly as the room began to shimmer and wave in front of her eyes.
Severus……
Severus could……..
The last thing that Lily heard was the rushing sound of her own blood as it pounded forcefully through her veins……………
Maybe Severus couldn't, after all.
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"Lily?" Severus called as he knocked on the front door.
Severus stood, waiting patiently, but when no answer came, he scowled.
How odd.
Why would Lily not let him in?
It was well past noon……
Surely Lily wasn't sick again?
Lily was never sick twice in one day.
Though it was considered rude to apparate unannounced into someone's home, Severus was growing suspicious and he pulled out his wand.
In an instant, Severus appeared just on the other side of Lily's front door.
"Lily?" Severus called out.
The house was dark and silent.
Lily wouldn't have left to go anywhere, they had a lunch da-
Well, they had arranged to eat lunch together.
"Lily?" Severus called out as he stepped into the kitchen by the doorway.
The kitchen was undisturbed, nothing was out.
Lily hadn't even started the meal preparation yet….
"Lily?" Severus called more urgently as his concern grew.
Severus glided through to the living room and his black eyes widened when they fell on……
"Lily!" Severus exclaimed.
Lily was sitting in her father's old armchair with eyes closed and her face pale, clearly asleep.
But Lily's head was slumped over in a most uncomfortable and unnatural position…….
Severus immediately swept over to Lily and gently took hold of her arm as he tried to wake her.
"Lily!" Severus called, giving her a gentle shake.
Lily didn't respond.
Severus's chest tightened as he tried again, "Lily!"
Severus shook Lily's arm once more and when he saw her hand flop around, limp and uncontrolled, and her head roll to the side like a corpse's, it frightened him almost as much as her failure to respond.
Severus was breathing hard as he hurriedly gathered Lily into his arms and nearly threw his wand, he apparated so quickly.
With a loud pop, Severus brought Lily to St. Mungo's emergency department and he grabbed the first two nurses he saw, pulling on their sleeves as he frantically attempted to show them his ailing love.
"Please……….!" Severus beseeched the nurses, his low voice ringing with desperation. "Help her!"