Water and Sun
By redprint
Chapter 13 (Rated M!)
**And the Entanglement of Us Both**
ZERMATT, SWITZERLAND
BACKSTAGE HOTEL SERVICED APARTMENTS
FRIDAY, AUGUST 24
07:43 HOURS
He was preparing breakfast when she joined him in the spacious kitchen. He was shirtless, his torn jeans barely hanging around his chiseled hips. He stood in front of the stove and towel lay across his left shoulder.
He eyed her carefully as she neared the counter in front of him. She glowed but her behaviour was reserved. He wondered about her in that moment. Would she ever let go?
He locked eyes with her and she understood the question in his eyes. A bitter smile crossed her lips for a split second and he looked down at the burning stove. He was about to crack the eggs into the skillet before she joined him. But now he wondered whether they would make it through the morning pleasantries.
She closed her eyes, apprehension setting in, and then looked at him again, "I'm the same person as yesterday, Nicola."
He leaned against the stove, careful not to burn himself, and looked at her with severity. "I know."
"Do you?" she inquired, her eyes clear and honest.
Hi bit his lip and nodded. "I see the wall you build up everyday to protect yourself, and I think you deserve to live and love without it."
She stared at him with eyes naked and unguarded. "You can be intense, I give you that."
He nodded again. He wanted to apologize but she cut him off.
"Don't. I like you the way you are," she confessed. She liked it in Mulder, too, but that was a mute point now. "I'm just not good at showing ...," her voice faded.
His lips turned into a cautious smile. He turned off the stove and walked to her. Sitting on the chair next to her, he reached for her hand and held it in his own. He looked at her as if they had been companions for a lifetime. "You don't get to bear the weight of this relationship without me. I won't let you."
She looked desperately at him. This was uncharted territory for her. Since a very young age she held a strong belief that she had to keep it together on her own. And now, he was offering her another reality. There was no room for towering walls in that land of his. No need to control the outcomes of life. No necessity to champion the world alone. She pondered his offer and a sudden breath tore from her lungs.
Seeing her, he tugged at her hand and hugged her gently. "I love you at your weakest."
He knew how to strip her naked of all doubts and inhibitions. He was even better than Mulder. Tears rolled down her cheeks while she remained burried in his arms. "Oh, Nicola, what have we done?"
He tightened his arms around her. He knew what they had done. "We have to tell him."
She burst out crying, her arms gripping his back. "I can't imagine a life with you, and I can't stand the thought of leaving you."
He felt his own tears spring in his eyes. It was an impossible choice for both of them. "I want you beside me. Everyday, every minute -" his voice broke and he cried silently with her.
"I need to feel you inside of me," she spoke suddenly, and reached for his zipper. He was too caught up in the moment to protest. Removing her panties, she climbed him and took him all in. He groaned loudly and gripped the counter with his right arm while hugging her waist with his left. She moved atop him, her body demanding his, and he watched almost in despair. She was fire, scorching hot and burning fast. She got rid of her sweatshirt and wrapped her body around his. When he gripped her ass and stood up, she gasped loudly, her mouth aghast. "What are you doing?"
He didn't answer. Still buried inside her, he got rid of his jeans that gathered around his ankles and took her to bed upstairs.
She moaned as he moved.
He placed her on the bed, not breaking contact, and lay atop of her.
She stared at him, almost angry that he denied her an orgasm moments before. His eyes were focused, his mind attuned to something more than just the pleasure of the body. And then it hit her. He was taking her 'There'. God, she wasn't sure about it. What did it even mean?
He saw the fear in her eyes and kissed her forehead, her mouth and her chest. It was tender and honest. He was reassuring her.
"Talk to me," she pleaded.
He kissed the throbbing vein on her neck, the skin behind her ear, making her sigh and moan. He was slow, gentle. "It's a place of love, there's no you and I, just the entanglement of us both and the whole of the universe."
She locked eyes with his. Just the entanglement of them both. She exhaled and felt her muscles relax. Was this already the beginning of it? "I trust you," she said and bit on her lip. It wasn't easy to go into the wild yonder with an exposed soul and an aching need to be loved.
He shifted a bit, his body barely touching hers, and kissed her softly, lightly, his hips rocking her slowly, gently. It was love being imprinted on her, on their relationship. She was floating under him, if that was possible. The freedom she was experiencing was absurd. His fingers brushed her nipple and traveled down to her abdomen, leaving her flesh in sweet flutter. He moved his head down and blew on her mound. She spasmed lightly and he placed a reassuring kiss on her belly. Her breath was even despite the arousal, but her skin was melting away. She searched for his eyes, vulnerable in her need, and he as if by divine command looked at her. It was like looking into a burning fire, hipnotic and yet lucid. He was as much in her mind as in her body, stretching and arching his back over her with elegant ease.
He neared her face again and whispered into her ear, "Dive in with me." She moved to his lips intuitively and kissed him, brushed his tongue with hers, and he followed, then led. His right hand found hers and placed it over his chest. He gazed at her, his hand covering hers on his chest, and kept rocking her slowly. He radiated love. She found herself staring into the depths of his amber eyes and something within her moved. She could feel him through every fiber. It was strange and powerful. He placed her hand on her chest and covered it with his own. The warmth that suddenly spread over her heart was otherwordly. She felt it then. The physical disappearing and the feeling of oneness settling in.
He moved her hand to the side and lay flatly atop her, his chest gently breathing into hers. She couldn't stop looking at him, feeling him through every fiber of her being. He rocked her just barely, making her mouth open. "You feel it, don't you?" he asked gently. She could only nod. "I feel it, too," he reaffirmed the question in her eyes. Her legs went around his back and he slid deeper into her. A groan escaped him, and she moaned in return.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
Was she ready? She wanted to ask what for but he gyrated his hips into her, making her a convulsion in his arms. A cry tore from her red lips, but he hushed her and said, "Look at me."
She looked, and then it happened. She couldn't quite describe it once it was over, but it did feel as if she drifted into a waterfall, a fluid journey into the vast unknown. Until she reached the place beyond.
She could feel them both, fire and ice, water and sun. Her lungs expanded, her breath anchoring her to him. He shifted, pulling her with him and letting her lend in his lap. No sense of time or space, only an undying sense of love spread all around them. Her body relaxed into his, touching his arms and shoulders, feeling the warmth and smoothness of his skin with her fingers. He was her mirror. She was his anchor. Together they were the perfect image of creation.
She looked at him in wonder, feeling more herself than ever before. He gazed lovingly at her, feeling everything she felt, guarding and witnessing. Tears gathered in her eyes and he kissed them away gently. Her lips spread into a heartfelt smile, and they gazed at each other for minutes long and lost. She neared her lips to his and brushed them, igniting little sparks that made him demand more. He tilted her neck and held her cheek with his hand, his tongue brushing over her lips. She opened up to him and kissed him deeply, sending shivers down both of them. She felt him surge to life inside her again, her hips responding without volition.
He groaned loudly and she broke the kiss, pressing her open mouth against his chin. Her legs locked around him, and he thrust hard against her pelvis, one, two, three, four times, making them both come in a whirlwind of hot whimpers and moans.
She woke up two hours later in his arms. It took her a few moments to take in her sorroundings. He was lying naked on his back and she was drapped like a blanket over his body. The white sheet was covering her hips.
He was observing her quietly, almost afraid to interrupt her awakening. What would they say to each other now?
"I can hear you thinking," she said, her lips brushing over the sensitive skin of his chest.
He pouted and smuggled his arm under the sheet and over her smooth hip, feeling the warm and soft skin. "How do you feel?" he asked.
She looked up into his eyes and answered straightforwardly, "Loved."
He locked eyes with her and ran his hand from her hip to her breasts. He wanted to know, but didn't dare ask.
She smiled at him, knowing full well that he was curious about her in many ways. But now he wanted to know about them and what she just experienced. "I'll tell you more when you tell me more about your gift." She disentangled from him and jumped out of bed. But he caught her hand and tugged gently. "Promise," he said. And she nodded, "I promise."
She walked downstairs and called out to him, "Come on. We've got to eat something."
He smiled and followed her downstairs. Naked as the day he was born.
ZERMATT, SWITZERLAND
BACKSTAGE HOTEL SERVICED APARTMENTS
FRIDAY, AUGUST 24
12:57 HOURS
"Jesus, Nicola," she panted heavily, "we have to stop." Her cheeks were flushed and her hair lay plastered on her forehead.
She looked beautiful to him. His chest was still heaving when he grabbed her body and pressed it tightly to him into a spooning position. He kissed the skin behind her ear. His hand found her sex and squeezed.
She moaned and pressed her bottom into his groin. It was an endless dance. With Mulder sex was amazing, but this - this was not of this world. She didn't know what to make of it. The intimacy she shared with Mulder was built on love that flourished throughout the years at the FBI. She trusted him with her life.
But with Nicola everything was different. She was different. The touches, whispers, glances ... she couldn't put a name on it. It transcended the physical, and yet it was the most tangible feeling of all. She didn't fall for men so quickly or easily.
She felt his hand move to her belly, pausing there for an infinite second. She felt something inside her pulsate, though she couldn't quite describe it. She turned her head and kissed him. "I can't get enough of you," she whispered, her tongue licking his lips softly. "I guess this is me at my weakest."
He gazed at her with silent adoration. "I guess it's mutual."
She turned her body to him, her right leg clutching around his left hip. He slid his hand over her thigh and around her buttock while her right hand roamed his back. He kissed her then. His lips gently moving against hers. She responded in kind. There was no urgency, no tomorrow, no regret.
Only love, he thought.
"And the entaglement of us both," she whispered.
And he froze.
She opened her eyes and looked at him questioningly. "What is it?"
"You heard it, didn't you?" He stared at her.
She arched her brows, "What do you mean? Of course I heard it."
He shook his head, "I only thought it."
Confusion set in her eyes. What was he talking about? She couldn't possibly... "I read your mind?"
He nodded in astonishment.
"This is so strange," she added and squeezed his bicep to make sure he was real. "Could we be so connected?"
His lips thinned. "It's not unheard of. What about the chip in your neck?"
She looked at him, "What about it?"
"Could it trigger something like that?" he asked.
"No, I don't think so." She brushed the tiny scar with her finger. She told him about it just before Gino's disappearance. "I think we shared something extremely intimate these last two days, and even if I'm always skeptic about things that cannot be proven scientifically, I imagine things like this can happen."
He hugged her tightly.
"I love you," she whispered into his ear.
He looked her in the eye, "Oh, Dana." His eyes teared up. "I love you," he whispered weakly and placed a kiss on her full lips.
ZERMATT, SWITZERLAND
FRIDAY, AUGUST 24
15:34 HOURS
"I find it hard to believe that millions of years ago it was part of the sea," he said, looking at the Matterhorn. They were sitting together on the terrace of their apartment. He wore a pair of sunglasses that made her knees go slightly weak. He looked dashing.
She scooted closer to him on the oversized lounge chair. "It's majestic."
"Yeah," he nodded and hugged her around her shoulders. "The legend goes that many millennia ago the giant Gargantua lived in the Alps. When he stood tall, his hair would disappear into the clouds. His head was as big as a castle, and his hands were fearsome paws that could snap a tree trunk like a match. When he moved his massive body, the earth trembled and his pounding footsteps left deep marks in the solid rock. At that time, the familiar shape of the Matterhorn did not exist. There was only a massive, unbroken ridge that was uniformly high, which shielded the sunny Aosta Valley in Italy from the cold north wind. Gargantua spent his time in Valtournenche, but he could not see through the thick clouds to the north and became determined to find out what lay beyond the ridge. With a giant step he climbed over the rock face and planted his foot near Zermatt in Switzerland. But just as he brought his other foot forward he slipped on the ice and his flailing body crashed through the mountains, causing the ridge to crumble and collapse. Only the great triangular section between the giant's colossal legs remained standing. That would be the Matterhorn."
Her lips curled up at the edges. "So whatever lays between one's legs, it's safe."
He smiled playfully at her, "Might become part of a legend, too."
She chuckled and looked at him, "You promised to tell me more about your gift."
He nodded, "What do you want to know?"
Everything, she thought.
He arched his brows, "Is that right?"
"You're doing it again," she protested. "It's not fair."
"No, it's not," he agreed, "but you like it in a way."
She looked at him defiantly, "I'd like to think you would never take advantage of it."
That got him. "I did, though." He put his sunglasses down.
"When?" her voice got clipped for some reason.
"When I was still an agent," he admitted. "Several times, actually." He looked at her, "But not with you. I could never do that to you."
She observed him. "You're right."
He looked at her.
"I do like it," she spoke softly.
He hugged her tightly to him and kissed her head. "I can feel your spirit. The kindness, fierceness, dark edges and blinding light. The need to make a difference, even to rebel if necessary."
She shuddered in his arms and held him tight. "How can you see all these things?"
He took her hands in his and squeezed them gently. "It's a sensibility to all that lives. Not to mention how taken I'm with you."
She looked into his eyes and reached for his cheek with her left hand. "You have no idea what you do to me."
"Tell me," he pleaded gently.
She smiled and placed her legs in his lap. "You make me forsake everything else. It's inexplicable. I'm drawn to you like a magnet."
He smiled and nodded, "I know the feeling."
She brushed one leg against the other, a small tell of how much she enjoyed knowing he felt the same.
"I couldn't sleep at times," she continued, covering her mouth and looking away as if surprised by her own admission.
He stroked her legs in reassurance.
She looked at him. "I wanted you so badly that I had to deny it."
"Why?" he proded gently.
"You know why … and besides attraction alone is never a good foundation of a relationship," she searched for his eyes.
"I don't think we're talking just attraction here," he gazed back at her, his hand finding her right foot. He could swear her eyes changed color to crystal blue.
She gasped slightly when his thumb started to knead the sole of her foot. "No, we're not. Oh, God, keep going." She let her head fall back slightly and enjoy the feeling. He was a wizard with his fingers.
"There was a boy once," he spoke as he kneaded her sole, "who called me the dark wizard when he realized I somehow knew his bad intentions."
There he went again, she thought, unable to resist reading her as well. Her lips curled into a playful smile then. "You wanted to know about me and the first time I fantasized about you?"
His ears picked, his thumb pressing firmly into the fascia of her foot. "Yes," his voice suddenly a few octaves lower.
"Remember that snowy evening when we met in the olive grove and we ended up talking and drinking wine?" she asked, her cheeks slightly flushed by the memory.
His lips turned up, "You were so mad at me when I ran into you."
"I wasn't mad," she said, "conflicted, but not mad."
"Why?" he asked.
She pondered whether to tell him or not. Sighing, she replied, "I was afraid of what I felt for you. It troubled me. And you were quite to blame for that evening, too."
"Was I?" he nudged her softly. "How?"
She raised her eyebrows. "Don't pretend. You were there with me. Pouring the wine, drifting closer to me as we talked and drank, and then you placed your hand on my thigh and let it rest there. It worked havoc on me."
He shifted in his seat a little, "You were beautiful. It felt natural to touch you, but then I saw how unaffected you were. I felt foolish."
"Unaffected?" she interjected. "I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't look you in the eye."
He exhaled softly, "Oh, Dana." His hand traveled to her knee, stroking it gently.
She sighed, "I couldn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned. You were in my head, and under my skin. I kept reliving your touch until I couldn't take it anymore."
He swallowed.
"And I touched myself," she almost whispered the words, keeping eye contact with him.
"Tell me," he demanded, his voice a low growl. He had to cough to clear it up, earning a sympathetic smile from her.
"I imagined your hands touching me," she brushed her leg against his crotch, "you running them all over my body," she was gazing at him suggestively, "I slipped my hand between my legs and grazed myself, hoping it would be enough, but it wasn't," she knew her eyes looked hooded, telling him of that night. She paused, feeling vulnerable and unsure whether go on or leave it at that.
Seeing her hesitate, he snapped out of his reverie and inhaled a desperate breath. "Go on," his voice almost broke, his eyes mirroring her own vulnerability. He knew intimacy of that level came with a price.
She scooted close to him and placed her arm around his chest, her lips resting close to his left ear. She began to whisper into it what she did to herself on that lonely night, how she let go and then went for it a second time. His hand gripped her arm fiercely, denting her skin, her whispered words playing tricks on his vivid imagination. He could feel his pulse beating in his ears, his mouth going dry, his muscles tensing with every picture that hit his brain. "... you were taking me from behind until my body convulsed. I would blame it on the wine once it was over."
She darted back a little when she finished her story, searching for his expression. She gasped when eyes dark as distant ridges of the universe looked back at her. She stared into that darkness. Feeling at a loss of words, she cupped his right cheek and ran her thumb across it. His eyes blinked and he exhaled heavily. His arm reached around her hips, pressing her close to him.
"I may very well be a dark wizard but you just put me under a powerful spell," he spoke gently as he held her in his arms.
She chuckled at his words. "I see it worked on all levels," she joked as she moved her legs against his erection.
He leaned his forehead against hers and smiled, "You're the good witch I've been waiting for my whole life."
She shook her head and smiled, "That's blasphemy, Father Nicola."
"I like how you put 'father' in there. I broke all the chastity laws of chatolicism with you. I might as well broke a few more," he retorted.
She leaned her head to the side, "I know we are both acutely aware of the consequences of our actions, but I don't think it's wise to go about without any moral compass."
He closed her eyes. "Integrity above all else."
"No," she replied, "love above all else and integrity shall follow."
He closed his mouth. He should've been wiser but he let his ego go rampant for a moment. "I shouldn't have said it, but you do hold power over me." He ran his finger down her throat and along her blue v-necked t-shirt.
She stared into his eyes. How did they end up so involved with each other?
"I think you got it all wrong," he replied when she questioned the meaning of celibacy. They were in the orchard harvesting peaches from the trees.
She glanced in his direction, "Did I?"
"Yes," he replied calmly. "It's not about giving up sex as you vehemently suggested," he emphasized the word 'vehemently'.
She felt a sudden rush of heat as he spoke, her hand slightly shaking as she reached for the ripe fruit hanging above her head. She dared not speak since her voice would almost certainly fail her.
He looked at her and went on. "A priest should not get attached to anyone so he can serve everyone in God's name. While sex is exclusive to marriage and shall not be practiced outside of it, its absence is not the definition of celibacy."
She looked at him, "So in theory, you can have sex if you don't get attached."
He smiled to himself, "In theory and in practice I don't get attached and I don't have sex."
She blushed a little and let it go. It wasn't for her to have an opinion about his sex life.
"I was proud, Dana," he spoke into her hair. "I thought no one could get to me, and then you came along."
She placed a kiss on his chest and sighed. "It's hard to grasp all that has happened between us."
"Unlike those peaches we harvested in the summer," he joked and earned a slap on his arm.
"Your gift is intimidating, Nicola, but it's also heartwarming. Thank you," she kissed him, feeling his hand on her back draw her closer to him. She broke the kiss and slipped out of his embrace.
He watched her in disappointment until she settled between his legs. His thighs bounced involuntarily as he realized what she was up to. He gripped the edge of the lounge chair.
She felt him through his boxers. His penis was alredy bulging against the thin fabric. "Shift a little," she ordered.
He obeyed readily.
She tugged them down to his ankles and got rid of them. His massive erection stood proud in front of her. She looked him in the eye and rose up to face him. She seared her lips to his, her tongue tasting every inch of his mouth. She was making him hers. She let go of him with a loud smack that made him weak in his bones. She swirled her tongue down his throat, placing hot, wet kisses on his warm skin, and down his chest. He was panting heavily. She took one nipple in her mouth and toyed with it, catching it between tongue and teeth, making him suck air in through his mouth. She smiled against his skin and went for the other one. She sucked it in hungrily and and then licked it with short strokes of tongue.
He gasped as he looked at what she was doing to him. "Dana," he pleaded, "please." His erection sprained angrily under her.
She let the small bud slip out of her mouth. "Yes?" she asked innocently.
He was losing his mind. He thrust his hips up to make his plea evident. "Please?"
She leaned her head slightly to the side. "Please what?"
He was dying inside. "You know." His throat was going dry.
"Say it," she demanded. "I want to hear it."
"Oh, God," he moaned, his body so tensed up that he couldn't sit still anymore. "Just take me in your mouth."
She felt a rush of heat washing over her body, leaving a crimson red trail over her chest. She felt his arousal in every cell of her body. Her hand reached instinctively to his erection and gripped it. She looked at it with silent gravity and stroked it firmly.
He was a wreck in her arms, lost to her power.
She gazed at him for a few moments and then took him in her mouth. Her tongue enveloped the thick crown, gently sucking and stroking at the same time. She was playing with it, slowly, rhythmically, stroking the base as she deepened her hold on him.
He thought he would burst under her.
He was now buried in her mouth while her fingers teased the sack, gently squeezing and rolling it.
His eyes turned white in their sockets, head falling back, while his hands gripped the chair for dear life.
She let him slip out of her mouth, hard as marble and leaking, and shifted up while holding him with her fingers. She neared his left ear and whispered, "Now tell me - did you ever fantasize about me?"
His body tensed, his erection growing under her fingers.
She gasped when he looked at her. There was want so savage in his stare that it could flatten mountains. She gripped his erection, feeling herself getting hot and wet.
He groaned loudly.
"Tell me." It sounded like a command.
He looked at her with eyes fierce and dark. "I always imagined what it would be if I could taste you. Feast on you," he said and leaned slightly forward to grasp her crotch.
She gasped and whimpered. Her hand gripped his penis firmly without volition. It was almost a reflex.
He growled and thrust his hips into her hand. "God, Dana, you're ruining me."
"What else?" she asked.
His eyes widened. "I made myself come at the thought of you on top. Or taking you from behind." He couldn't concentrate with her hand gripping him. "Too many times to count."
She felt her knees giving up and knelt between his legs again. She frenchkissed him and took him all in.
He shouted something unintelligible and thrust his hips into her mouth.
She tightened her lips around him and sucked until he shook violently and overflowed her mouth.
His ragged breathing came down slowly.
She lay next to him on her side, wiped her mouth delicately and gazed at him.
He peeked at her from the corner of the eye, trying to ease the moment. He had a fair amount of sexual experiences but this was mind-bending. "I think I've died and came back."
She chuckled lightly, "Now you know how it feels."
He turned to face her. Was it really the same for her?
"I'm afraid so," she replied and kept gazing at him.
"You did it again," he murmured.
She smiled, "It's called an educated guess."
"Yeah, I'm not so sure about that," he commented, not breaking eye contact. "I think it's changing us."
"What is?" she asked.
He gazed at her, "What we share."
She sighed, "I guess it's not impossible. But I wouldn't make an issue out of it."
He observed her face intently. Every line and every deep. How was he going to tell her what he knew? Time and again life dealt him tasks that seemed insurmountable.
"What is it?" she asked.
He shook his head. "Just thinking."
She raised her eyebrows at him, "You're never just thinking, Nicola."
He smirked. "You're probably right about that."
"But you won't tell me what it is?" she insisted.
He sighed, "It's not that easy."
"What has ever been easy?" she retorted bitterly.
He pressed his lips together and looked her in the eye. "You wanted to know about my gift, right?"
She nodded, unsure of where he was going.
"I was a child when it first happened. My father was taken aback at first and took me to church. The priest looked at me sympathetically. He knew of cases like mine and reassured my father I'd be fine. He ordered him to pray with me every night before going to bed. Later I would come to know that my grandfather shared the same gift," he explained. "What I didn't know was that it would evolve further."
"What do you mean?" she frowned.
"Being able to sense other's thoughts is just part of it," he replied and looked at her apologetically.
"You mean there's more?" she pushed.
He nodded, "Clairvoyance and visions."
She swallowed. Did he predict that they would end up together?
He shook his head, "No, of course not. It doesn't work like that."
She exhaled heavily, "I'm sorry."
"But I did sense that something was about to change significantly in my life," he added. "I never thought it would be so intense and fateful, though."
She smiled and closed her eyes. "I remember when Mulder first heard of you. I could never have imagined that I would fall for you so hard."
His eyes lit up and his lips quirked up, "So hard?"
She squeezed her eyes and covered her face with her hand. "Did I actually say it?"
"Come here," he grasped her hand and drew her into his strong arms. He stared into her eyes. "No matter how this ends know that I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I love you." He kissed her and turned her on her back, settling atop her.
She saw him hesitating, "What is it?"
"You promised," he reminded her.
Oh, right. He wanted to know about her and the place beyond. She pondered her words. "Did you ever consider how water falls and intermingles?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Sometimes." He slipped of her and lay on his side, stretching one leg over her.
"It's the best way I can describe it. I felt connected to you down to every fiber, every atom," she felt her voice waver. "Did you ... I mean ... it's probably none of my business ..." She was stuttering. And she never stuttered.
He tried to follow her train of thought. "Done it with another woman?"
She pressed her lips together and nodded.
"No, I haven't," he replied truthfully.
She was appeased but felt silly. She knew he had other women before her. Might as well have loved someone as intensely.
"You're the first one, Dana, to evoke that in me," he kissed the palm of her hand.
She cupped his cheek, "We do that to each other, apparently."
He sighed, "I wish I could describe what I feel for you, but there are no words. My soul wants you in ways that scare me, and my body reacts without volition. You have awakened me, Dana, and I don't won't to go to sleep ever again."
Her eyes teared up and she pressed her lips to his. "I don't deserve all this love," she spoke weakly, shielded in his arms.
He held her tightly to him. "It's not about that. It never is." He kissed her flushed cheek. "You should be loved without hesitance, without falseness. I know I love you that way."
She hugged him tighter and cried in his arms while he gently stroked her hair. He understood the fight in her, the need to withstand and show up for anything. But this was her soul crying for love and compassion. And he would always hear that cry, across a thousand lives, a thousand years. "I'll wait for you as long as it takes," he whispered against her forehead and felt her hands grip his arms.
They lay together for a while. The sun caressing their skin and warming their bodies. She was healing inside. Forgetting the dangers of the world, the scars and wounds of the past, the loneliness and fear. And also Mulder.
Her eyes shot up and she shifted abruptly.
"What is it?" he asked.
She brushed her forehead, "No, it's nothing." She lied. The thought that she could let Mulder go shocked her.
He observed her, "It doesn't seem like nothing."
She wavered for a moment. "I'm fine."
"Okay," he let her disentangle.
She stood up, "I need a minute."
He watched her in silence as she walked away from him. And then she stopped in her tracks.
He sat up and waited.
She clenched her fists and closed her eyes. She knew what she was getting into. She was aware that it would forever change her relationship with Mulder. She turned to face him. Eyes shot red. She swayed her head, looked at him and let the wall crumble down.
He shot to his feet and was beside her in a split second, pulling her into his arms. "I'm here."
She shook in his arms and he lifted her up and took her inside. Murmuring soft words, he took her to the bed and sat her down. She let go of his shoulders and ran her hand across his torso. He felt strong under her touch. She looked into his eyes, "Oh, my God, this is something."
He smiled and reached for her hand, squeezing it in his own. "I love you," he looked into her eyes, "and just wait for my emotional meltdown. It's going to be epic."
She laughed heartily and then kissed him softly.
He closed his eyes and indulged in the tenderness of her lips.
She broke the kiss and gazed at him, "Thank you." She knew his kind heart.
"Come," he said then and offered his hand.
She accepted and joined him in the bathroom.
"I want us to shower together." His energy was vibrant.
She smirked and let him guide her in the shower. Water splashed over her shoulders and down her body while he poured soap in his hands. He looked at her with a playful glint in his eyes. "Turn around."
She turned to face him and he splayed his hands over her, looking her in the eye. "Keep your eyes open," he ordered and turned the shower battery away.
She swallowed.
His warm hands pressed gently over her chest, her breasts erupting under them, and then he quickly tugged at the hardened peaks.
She gasped loudly and he withdrew. Panting, her body tried to regain control. But he had other plans. His hands roamed her body, applying pressure in different parts, different amounts.
She reached for his arm to support herself. It was hard to describe what his persistent touch did to her. "*You* are a dark wizard," she muttered, her eyes now closed.
"You have no idea," he replied and knelt down. "Open your eyes."
She looked and saw him placing a hot kiss on her lower belly. She shuddered and moaned, her pupils dilating.
"You asked about my fantasies," he looked at her, "this is one of them." He pushed her gently against the shower wall, and hooked her left leg over his right shoulder. Her sex opened before him.
She might have collapsed against the wall when she saw him looking at her with that hungry stare, but he held her fast. "Oh, God," she panted.
And then he went for the kill. He was ruthless, no inch of her intimate skin left untouched. He sucked, swirled, nipped. And then he was gentle, too gentle. Her nerves begged for more, faster. She wanted to grind herself against his tongue but he held her steady. This was his feast, his ordeal. And yet he managed to make it all about her. He loved her skin, all her delicate spots. She was barely standing up, her knees buckling under his swirls. "I'm a ... I can't ... please," she pleaded with her heart out. He was keeping her on the verge, never letting go of her, and then without any warning, he sucked hard on her clit and pressed his tongue hard against, while he entered her with two fingers. She cried out and grabbed his hair, pressing her face hard into her crotch. He kept lapping and sucking, his fingers turning her insides into a hot bowl about to overspill. Until it did. She came hard all over him and slipped to the shower floor. She breathed erratically, water running down her body, and stared at him in utter disbelief. He kissed her lips and murmured something to her. She smiled and kissed him back.
He helped her up and slipped his hand over her bottom. "I love your butt."
She chuckled. "I'm hungry."
His lips quirked up.
"Oh, don't you dare make that remark," she warned him and he feigned an innocent look.
"I'd like to take you out to dinner," he stated then.
She smiled in surprise, "That sounds quite alright."
He planted a quick kiss on her mouth and exited the shower. She followed and watched his firm, gorgeously defined back move elegantly in front of her. She sighed and expelled her thoughts.
"You're a hot sexy creature as well," he said and looked at her over his shoulder.
She blushed a little, "I swear, Nicola, one of these days ..."
He grinned and reached for a towel, "I want you to see Zermatt and its lakes. They're beautiful."
She toweled herself, "Tomorrow?"
"Yes," he nodded. "And now off to the town."
She adjusted her hair and put some mild makeup on. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her skin was glowing, her eyes shining. She sighed and washed her face. Mulder came to her mind. He hadn't called her in two days. Despite all the love she still harbored for him, their relationship felt strained and exhausted. He kept ditching her, again and again. And then he would come looking for her to make amends. Was it really time to walk away? Had she already walked away by letty Nicola in? She was sure of one thing. Something had to change or she would walk away from both of them.
She entered the bedroom and saw him pray the Vespers on the terrace. He was already dressed, wearing his torn jeans and a white shirt. She looked at the clock on the wall. 18.05 hours. He was still a priest after all, and she appreciated the fact that he didn't pretend or deny his priesthood despite their intense relationship. Only broke every ecclesiastical law with her regarding celibacy, as he put it earlier. Was there more than one law regarding celibacy? She sighed and reached for her bag. Her clothes were still packed inside, carefully folded as her mother taught her years ago. She pulled out a fresh white t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans and a light blue sweater. Nights in Zermatt weren't particularly warm in late August.
He stepped inside while she was dressing and stopped to look at her, "Do you have any idea of how attractive you are?"
She looked at him and smirked, "I do when you look at me like that."
He smiled and walked to her, stealing a kiss from her gorgeous lips. "Guilty."
He smelled deliciously.
"You too," he replied and earned another smirk from her.
She took her purse and followed him out of the apartment.
ZERMATT, SWITZERLAND
BERGRESTAURANT BLATTEN
FRIDAY, AUGUST 24
18:32 HOURS
"What can I get you?" a young blond waitress asked in German once they were seated. She gasped when she got a good look of Nicola.
"Today's menu," Nicola answered in German.
She nodded and rushed into the kitchen.
She looked at him, "You're so confounding."
He shot her an amused look, "Am I?"
She sighed and looked at her surroundings. Beautiful couldn't quite describe it.
"It's the Alpine energy," he eyed her.
Must be, she thought. "I'm starved," she protested and stretched her arms out. "Aren't you?"
"Who wouldn't be after all that ... activity?" he joked.
"Oh, so it's just activity now?" she teased him back.
He responded with a certain gravity in his voice, "You know very well how deep it goes."
She closed her eyes, "I do."
The waitress served them their dishes, unable to keep her eyes from Nicola. He smiled politely and thanked her. She smiled back and blushed.
Scully eyed her a little annoyed. "Imagine if she would know that you're a priest."
He eyed her, "Careful there, Dana. That's jealousy talking."
She stared back at him, "Yes, it is. You do that to me."
He raised his eyebrows and looked at her. And then he understood her insecurities. He wasn't hers. Not like Mulder was. He was still a priest and she had no claim over him. Let alone her unresolved relationship with Mulder. He put down the fork he was about to put in his Sommersalat and sat near her. He hugged her over her shoulders and whispered into her ear, "I might not be yours in the terms of this world but my soul will always look for you. You're the one that made me whole. I'm not looking to be incomplete again."
She squeezed his arm and kissed him. "Let's eat now."
He smiled and got back to his seat.
"And Nicola?"
He looked at her.
"Thank you," she said sincerely.
He smiled and dove into his plate.
Later that night she would sneak on the terrace while he was sleeping, and called father Gino. There was something seriously wrong if Mulder hadn't called her all this time.
"Mrs Scully," he answered, "what's wrong?"
"Hi, I'm sorry about the hour. Are you in contact with Mulder?" she asked, trying to conceal how anxious she was.
"Actually, yes, I am," he replied, "but I'm afraid he's unreachable at the moment."
She frowned, "Why?"
He sighed heavily, "He's gone undercover after finding about the cabbal. We're helping him, of course, but any contact with him outside the established protocols would be extremely dangerous."
Was he kidding? "I'm sorry but I find that hard to believe. Who put him undercover?"
"We did on his insistence," he explained. "I gather you know nothing about it."
"No, I don't," she confirmed.
"He wanted to protect you, obviously," he commented and then paused for a moment. "How is Nicola?"
"Fine," she replied straightaway, and then frowned. "How do you know he's with me?"
"Dear Dana, I may be old as the Earth, but I can see the connection between you two. I'm trying to honor it but I'm afraid it's not that simple."
She felt her stomach twist. "Does Mulder know?"
There was silence on the other end.
"Father?" she asked.
"If he does, he hasn't talked about it. He's a very private man," he said.
To put it mildly, she thought. "For how long, father? When can I reach him?"
"In three weeks time," he replied. "Give Nicola my best regards and tell him that the visions of Murovdag are coming true. Good night, Dana."
She heard the phone click and the line went dead. The Murovdag visions?
Troubled, she went to bed again. Nicola was soundly asleep. She thought of Mulder and his incessant need to find the Truth. It made sense now why he didn't contacted her directly. But it still disturbed her profoundly that he made a choice like that without her as if her opinion didn't matter. She closed her eyes and prayed for his safe return. And the strength to endure all that was about to happen in her life.
TO BE CONTINUED.
"Clerical celibacy is the discipline within the Catholic Church by which only unmarried men are ordained to the episcopate, to the priesthood (with individual exceptions) in some autonomous particular Churches, and similarly to the diaconate (with exceptions for certain categories of people). In other autonomous particular churches, the discipline applies only to the episcopate."
~ Wikipedia
"I have come to drag you out of yourself
And take you into my heart.
I have come
To bring out the beauty
You never knew you had
And lift you like a prayer
To the sky.
~ Rumi
And I'd choose you;
In a hundred lifetimes,
In a hundred worlds,
In any version of reality,
I'd find you
And I'd choose you.
~ The Chaos of Stars