Chapter 46

Henry slams a pillow over his head, trying desperately to get some sleep. Sophie's screams echo through the house. He grinds his teeth together, wishing beyond anything that his door was soundproof.

It had been several days since his baby half-sister had been brought home and Henry didn't realize that the night before she came home would be the last time he would get a full night's sleep. He should have savoured it because it seemed like there was no end in sight. Every few hours he'd wake up to hear Sophie's confused and hungry cries and the sounds of either his mother or Killian going down the hall to get her. This new house creaked quite a lot and the arching halls made sound echo continuously, no doubt Sophie could be heard from the basement or down the street. Part of him now wishes that he had gone to stay with his dad, at least until Sophie could sleep for more than two hours.

He shoves his headphones in his ears, something he was doing a lot more now and cranks up the music, despite his mother warning him about how it would damage his hearing. If losing his ability to hear helped him get some sleep, he'd take it.

Meanwhile, Emma is rocking Sophie back and forth downstairs, having just fed her and now trying to burp her.

She insisted she take this shift, so Killian could get some form of rest. After all, he was the one working and bringing in the money. Her eyes feel so heavy and her body is still sore from having given birth to her daughter less than a week before. Her mind is running wild and it's not with happy thoughts.

In her exhaustive state, she wishes that Killian had used protection that night… at least until they were ready to have a family. She wasn't fooling herself, Sophie was the most amazing gift, if only she had come when everyone felt ready for. She wasn't a mistake per say… a surprise maybe. At the same time, this child is what kept her alive while she was in captivity, saved her from more assaults and kept her company when she was all alone. Emma had escaped for this baby, so Sophie would not grow up in captivity. In fact, her mother may not have been alive if it weren't for this precious, screaming infant.

When do they run out of tears? She wonders as she pats her daughter's back, the gentle way which Mary Margret had shown her. She also rubs circles along the small of Sophie's back, apparently, this was soothing to infants, made them feel protected.

The crying soon stops until a new noise reaches her ears. Emma feels something wet go down her back and a foul smell reaches her nose. She turns to see that Sophie has thrown up all over the back of her nightgown. It dribbles down her back, making her shift uncomfortably and a little bit got in her hair, causing it to clump together.

"Oh, come on," she groans loudly. Sophie makes soft wailing noises but is not crying fully anymore. She forgot to put a towel underneath her shoulder before she burped her daughter. Rookie mistake it felt like.

Feeling very flustered, Emma walks upstairs and goes into the bedroom.

Killian looks positively exhausted, his arm draped over his eyes as if to keep them shut from being open so long.

Knowing she might regret this, she nudges him with her knee.

"Killian," She whispers.

He doesn't respond.

"Killian!" she says a bit louder.

He snorts a little and rolls over.

"Killian, Freddy Krueger is in the closet."

The docks man snorts and practically bolts upwards in shock. "Bloody hell!"

"Shh!" Emma hisses sharply. Sophie makes a few more wailing noises, but not enough to start crying again. Emma rubs the infant's back to reassure her.

She kind of smirks. She knew that both Killian and Henry had rented the Nightmare on Elm Street movie the day before she went into labour and she knew the Robert England character freaked her heroic boyfriend out. Occasionally, she'd hear him mumble the creepy nursery rhyme in his sleep. She decided to use this to her advantage for the moment.

His blue eyes meet her green ones in the dimly lit room.

"What's wrong Swan? Is Sophie okay?"

"She threw up on me, can you just rock her while I take a shower and change?"

He sighs heavily. "At least the lass has a good gag reflex," he says. No matter how tired they both were, he still managed to make her smile. She gently hands her daughter over to her boyfriend and feels around in the dark to find the dresser drawer with her nightgowns inside.

As she turns on the water to have a quick shower, a feeling of almost dread hangs over her. She can't quite explain it, but she hated the fact that Sophie was no longer in her arms. It was like separation anxiety. She couldn't bear the thought of being away from her daughter. The warm water hitting her skin does nothing to provide the comfort of the cold chill running through her body. She tries to shake the feeling away while washing breast milk vomit from her back and hair. She talks to herself, saying that Sophie was safe with Killian and nothing back would happen to her, but the nagging feeling was still in the back of her mind. She climbs out of the shower and dries herself, waiting for something. The moment her daughter would start wailing again. The mother wanted to keep her daughter safe at all costs.

She looks at herself in the bathroom mirror for a moment. She looks as bad as when she had been rescued from Arthur King. Heavy bags under her eyes, there was redness around her green irises, her hair, while wet, did not shine like it used to, she looked as if she'd lost and gained weight at the same time, and her body was hunched over in exhaustion. This was the new Emma… the mother Emma. She can't remember if she looked this bad after Henry was born… maybe worse with more wrinkles this time and less acne, but the same amount of anxiety. What a scared little teenager she had been and now she felt like that again. It was like hitting the restart button.

It was funny, one minute she wishes that both she and Killian had waited to have their daughter and the next, she can't stand leaving the little one with any other person. It must have been her hormones… one could assume. After all, this would be so much different than with Henry. New home, new boyfriend, new life…

Maybe this was all a mistake, maybe they should have considered adoption… she didn't feel ready and her health was definitely suffering. At least, with the limited hours of sleep, there wasn't a chance for nightmares to come back. She had the perfect family life now, she had security like never before…

Her mind kept going back and forth, from yin to yang, from bad to good. She sighs heavily, wishing her brain would shut off as she puts on fresh pajamas and goes back down the hall to the master bedroom. She peeks into Henry's room, which was open just a crack. She can hear the loud music radiating from his headphones. She knew he'd done it to drown out his sister's screaming. She couldn't get mad at him, every teenager needed their sleep, and this was his way of solving the problem.

We should get him earplugs for his birthday, she thinks to herself.

She walks in, turns off the device, removes the buds and pulls the blanket up over him again. She leans down and kisses his forehead, one of the few times she could still get away with this sign of affection.

"Sweet dreams, Bug," she whispers.

She shuts his door again and goes down the hall, she peeks into the room and her heart melts.

Killian is laying with Sophie next to him, his hand resting gently on her stomach. Both fast asleep. At that moment, Emma knew it wasn't a mistake… far from it.

She goes over and gently lifts her boyfriend's hand up to get the sleeping infant from underneath. As much as she wanted to sleep with Sophie, she didn't want to risk anything. She takes the little one back down the hall and into her room, which has a small butterfly nightlight in the corner. She lays the tiny one in the bassinette, partially covers her with Granny's handknitted blanket, and winds the mobile. She then winds up Henry's old music box to play a soothing tune, something she hoped her new daughter would find comfort in, just like her son had. She kisses Sophie gently as the music drifts through the room and the unicorns turn quietly above the precious, angelic face, reflecting tiny beams of light from the night light. It was such a beautiful sight. She shuts her eyes to savour the moment.

Definitely not a mistake… she thinks to herself, feeling so peaceful inside.

She leaves the door open just a crack, knowing that she'll be back in less than an hour or so. She walks down the hall and collapses in bed, this time replacing her daughter under her boyfriend's arm.

A/N: A lot of family fluff, consider it some of the last before I crank this up a notch.