Thank you for reading! I don't own any of Harry Potter! Please let me know if you enjoy!
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Severus was so gentle that his kisses and touches felt like the whispers of a phantom spirit against Lily's skin.
The following morning brought the fresh sunrise of a new day……..
Lily and Severus were both bare, lying cuddled against each other.
Lily had her head on Severus's shoulder and the small curve of her belly cradled against his hip.
Severus woke first but he was careful not to move when he noticed that Lily was still sleeping.
Enjoying the moment of tranquility, Severus gazed down at Lily lovingly.
When Lily started to stir, Severus pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Quickly, Severus stood from the bed to dress as Lily rolled away from him to stretch.
Lily had just blinked her green eyes open when Severus apparated out of the room to report to Hogwarts and begin his day teaching.
Lily frowned to herself and looked out the window at the bright sunlight.
Had he left that quickly?
Lily was certain that she felt Severus kiss her just a moment ago………..
—————————————————————
Lily's morning sickness had abated and though it made Severus glad that Lily was no longer feeling ill, he did miss seeing her that one extra time during the day.
Even if it was only for a moment……..
Without a reason for a mid-morning visit, Severus did not see Lily again until that evening after they returned to their new, temporary home.
The couple ate their dinner together and chatted about their day.
After the meal was finished, Severus was flipping through one of his books, deciding how he was going to present his next lesson.
Lily sat beside him, clicking two wooden sticks together with yarn as she knitted.
The air was heavy between the two of them as the obvious meaning of the previous evening's events begged to be acknowledged.
Pleaded to be validated……..
The first time that Severus and Lily made love, it had been a requirement, but the second time…..
The second time was unnecessary.
The second time was an act of passion and nothing more.
Severus broke the silence between them as he looked over at Lily and asked casually, "What's that you're making?"
"It's going to be a blanket." Lily said with a smile, glancing over at Severus.
"Don't you think it's a little early?" Severus blinked.
"Well I've got other things I'd like to make, so I'm getting this out of the way." Lily sensibly replied, "I want to have a name embroidered on it, too. That's why I'm starting with this first."
"I see." Severus nodded.
Severus stared at the blanket that Lily was knitting for a long moment.
Suddenly, discussing the previous night was pushed to the back of Severus's mind as he thought.
A name………..
Severus had bought the toy dragon for the baby, sure, but the gesture itself was done largely to earn a smile from Lily.
The baby.
There really was a baby.
The toy dragon hadn't made the baby feel any realer to Severus.
But the tiny swell of Lily's belly, the same swell that Severus had kissed so reverently the night before, had cemented the idea for Severus much more.
Now, Lily was making something for the baby to use.
The baby would have a blanket and a toy dragon and a name……
"Have you thought of any?" Severus asked Lily curiously.
"Any what?" Lily replied while she worked.
"...Names." Severus said slowly.
"Well, not so much for a girl….." Lily said distantly while she corrected a stitch with her fingers. "I do like 'Harry' for a boy, though."
Severus furrowed his brow and fell silent.
Lily glanced over and laughed at the look on Severus's face, "What's the matter with that?"
"Harry is a muggle's name." Severus replied coldly.
Though Severus spoke that sentence innocently and with no ill intentions, he should have chosen his words more carefully.
Lily's fair face clouded over and Severus instantly realized that he had made a sizeable mistake.
"You're right, Sev." Lily replied with an aggressive smile. "Harry is a muggle's name. And that's alright, because there's going to be lots of muggle things in his life, or, her life, you know. There's going to be…..wind up toys...and the tooth fairy…..and Saturday morning cartoons and candy bars. Muggle candy bars! Can you believe that?!" Lily chuckled angrily.
"Lily, I didn't mean to offend you." Severus apologized quickly. "I don't think there's anything wrong with a muggle's name…...Surely you know that by now…... There's many different names in our world and the muggle world…...names of many origins."
"-Our world?!?!" Lily exclaimed. "Apparently you've forgotten, Sev, but…...the muggle world is my world too! I grew up in it! What difference does it make?! If something comes from 'our world' or the muggle world? Why can't our child have the best of both, hmm? What's wrong with letting them watch Top Cat while they eat chocolate frogs?"
"There's nothing wrong with that!" Severus said defensively. "Though our world does offer many freedoms and a wide range of knowledge, you know that very well, Lily."
Severus had thrown himself into a dangerous pit of hurtful memories from the past and soaring levels of estrogen.
Lily threw her half-knitted blanket down on the table and stood to face Severus.
Severus's black eyes widened in shock when he saw tears streaming down Lily's cheeks.
Severus was horrified.
Surely he hadn't hurt Lily's feelings that badly?
"Our world may offer more, but I knew nothing of it until I met you." Lily sniffed, wiping at her eyes with her hand. "And there was nothing wrong with my life, Sev! I had my mother, my father, my sister, and my little doll and everything was wonderful…….I dare say, I may not have been waking down Diagon Alley when I was little or……...having a lesson from my mother like you, but I dare say that my little muggle household was a far happier one than yours!"
With that cutting statement, Lily turned and fled, racing up the stairs as quickly as she could towards her room.
"Lily!" Severus called, reaching out as he followed behind her.
Severus did not have much experience with women.
Severus had never lived with a woman other than his mother before and he certainly hadn't spent lots of time around anyone who was pregnant.
Severus was afraid Lily was losing her mind.
What was she so upset about?
When had he compared their childhoods?
By the time Severus reached Lily, she had closed and locked her door.
Severus pressed his ear against the wood and listened.
Severus could easily undo the lock with a flick of his wand, but he knew that, apparently, he was at fault in the situation and he wanted to respect Lily's wish for a moment of privacy.
Still, the sound of Lily's woeful weeping that echoed through the door made Severus want to cry with her.
"Lily, I wasn't trying to wound you." Severus called through the wood. "...Will you let me in?"
Lily's sobbing continued but she gave Severus no response.
"...I think Harry is a perfectly fine name." Severus called through the door.
Inside her room, Lily wiped at her red, puffy eyes, choking on her sobs.
When Lily heard Severus's last statement, she only cried harder.
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The next day, early in the morning, Lily apologized to Severus and he did the same.
They went quietly about their day, and that continued for the next half a week.
Severus was normally content with silence, but not when it was coming from Lily.
They had been doing so well……...why had he ever opened his mouth?!
Severus hadn't meant to hurt her so!
The most terrible thing for Severus was that Lily wasn't angry at him.
Severus could tell by the look on her face and the tone that she used during the few occasions on which they did speak that Lily wasn't mad, she was just sad and disappointed.
It was a crucial moment for Severus.
Somehow, he had to tell Lily just how he felt.
Somehow………….
But how?
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For once, time worked to Severus's advantage.
It was February.
February……
Severus realized by then that he had hurt Lily's feelings by appearing to reject aspects of the muggle world and lifestyle.
So, after contemplating the situation, Severus was determined to show Lily that her assumptions weren't true by using the muggle world to declare his love for her.
Love.
Valentine's Day was at the end of the week.
From reading those unrealistic romance novels before he and Lily had coupled for the first time, Severus understood that declaring love on Valentine's Day was considered trite and cliché in the muggle world.
But Severus didn't care what muggles thought.
Severus was confident that in his particular circumstance, declaring his love for Lily on Valentine's Day would hold a certain poetic resonance.
Severus just didn't quite understand how exactly to go about doing that……..
On February 11th, to his humiliation, Severus put on some dark trousers, a white button-up shirt, and a black jacket to dress himself like a muggle.
Then, careful to keep his jacket collar close to his face so as to not draw attention to himself, Severus traveled to London and dared to enter a muggle gift shop.
Severus found the inside of the store nauseating.
The shop was filled with annoying, brightly colored red and pink balloons, cutesy stuffed animals, piles of overpriced chocolates, and a dizzying array of greeting cards that all looked the same.
Severus had no idea where to begin.
Lily was his first and only love interest.
The majority of Severus's Slytherin friends didn't know anything about Valentine's Day.
Severus's father was a muggle, but he had never done anything remotely romantic for Severus's mother.
And Eileen Prince, a witch, had never acknowledged the holiday.
So that left Severus………
Lost.
The store clerk was busy at the cash register.
Not wanting to bother her, Severus moved hesitatingly forward, walking to stand beside a man who was selecting a greeting card.
Severus discreetly observed the man, who picked up one card, read it, placed it back on the shelf, and then chose another.
Over and over, the man repeated that action and it was by watching that Severus Snape learned how to shop for a Valentine's Day card.
Severus picked up a card, read it, and scowled.
The message inside did not amuse him.
Severus didn't think the card's message was funny at all………..
Severus put the card back and chose another.
After reading the second card, his scowl deepened…….
He couldn't give Lily that…..
She'd think he was some pervert!
Severus replaced the second card and chose another and instead of scowling, he just blinked as he read the message that the card contained.
How dull and unfeeling………
Lily would think he wasn't sincere.
Lily had to know that he was sincere.
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Long after the man beside him had made his choice and left, Severus was still fighting the mountainous aisles of pink and red paper to find the right card for Lily.
Sweat was starting to bead on the back of Severus's neck as he read card after card.
Which one?
Which one?
They were all terrible and Severus felt like every time he read one card, ten more appeared.
Severus had been diligently reading through each and every card for so long that, eventually, the store clerk became available and she watched Severus in amusement, admiring his dedication.
"Do you need some help, sir?" The clerk finally asked, feeling sorry for her customer who was clearly struggling.
Severus whirled around and faced the clerk with an exasperated look on his face.
"What do other men buy for this day? This holiday?" Severus asked.
The clerk blinked in shock.
She had seen plenty of clueless men before but this gentlemen acted like he had never done anything for……..
"Ah…...that depends." The clerk shrugged. "Is this for your wife?"
"No." Severus replied sullenly.
"Alright…..your girlfriend?" The clerk asked.
"No." Severus replied.
The clerk cleared her throat, worried she had made a wrong assumption, "Your…….partner?"
"No." Severus said, narrowing his eyes at the clerk.
"It's for……..someone important…...But they don't know that yet." Severus explained, "None of these…..cards…...are acceptable."
"Ah." The clerk nodded, "Well, in that case, you may not want to rely on a card at all. Maybe you should find another way, maybe something a bit more personal to use instead of a mass-produced store bought item."
Severus was confused…….
"But I want to celebrate this…….holiday. I need to do that." Severus said with a tone that was far too serious for Valentine's Day.
The clerk nodded, "In that case, you can use balloons or chocolates or flowers…..."
"Flowers? That still counts?" Severus asked.
"All of it counts, sir!" The clerk said, unable to stifle a chuckle at Severus's naivety.
Severus stepped up to the counter and spent the next hour making a guided purchase of various Valentine's Day merchandise.
Although Severus didn't buy a card………….
No card was right for Lily.
Severus took the clerk's advice and chose something special, something more romantic than paper, something more intimate……..
Something like a flower……….
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Severus Snape spoke several different languages.
Lily dabbled in a few herself.
But both of them, like many in the wizarding world, had a high fluency in the language of flowers.
On Valentine's Day, Lily returned from her break at work to find a small vase of flowers sitting on the counter.
The vase did not come with a note, but since Lily was the only one working that day and for the last hour, the shop had been seemingly empty, she assumed that the vase must be meant for her.
Lily looked at each of the blossoms in the vase…..
Who would send her flowers?
Lily began to mentally note the flowers in the arrangement and their meaning.
Geranium for true friendship.
Lily smiled.
Severus probably sent the flowers.
Well, that was nice of him.
Lily narrowed her eyes at the bittersweet in the vase.
Bittersweet symbolized truth………
Truth?
Something bright caught Lily's eye.
After she moved the stems in the vase aside, Lily saw that a single gardenia sat in the middle.
Lily blushed because she knew very well what gardenias meant…..
Lily's heart raced with excitement.
Gardenias symbolized secret love.
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After Lily received her flowers, a quiet smile pressed itself to her lips and refused to leave for the remainder of the afternoon.
The rest of the day was busy and Lily was quite exhausted when she finally apparated home.
But as soon as Lily arrived in the foyer, her eyes widened……….
Lily found herself standing in a sea of heart-shaped balloons that stretched from one wall to another.
From where Lily could not see him, Severus watched, taking his wand out in preparation.
Lily's smile widened as she saw an unopened box of chocolates and a sealed jar of pickles sitting on the coffee table.
Severus silently flicked his wand.
Right in front of Lily, a single heart-shaped balloon went rogue and drifted past, moving slowly up the stairs.
Curiously, Lily followed the balloon upstairs and trailed behind it as it drifted into her own bedroom.
There, on the small, wooden desk in the corner was a much larger, much grander vase filled with many, beautiful blooms of flowers.
Lily's heart sped up as she took a moment to look through them all and understand what they had to say…..
Irises…….
A message,
Pink camellias…….
I'm longing for you.
Red camellias…….
You're the flame in my heart.
Red carnations…….
My heart aches for you…..
Forget-me-nots and heliotropes, wrapped with white lilies…..
Think of me and my devotion to you, my beauty.
Yarrow, red tulips, red roses, and ivy……
I pledge my eternal passion and my fidelity, my love for you…….
White chrysanthemums……
This is the truth.
Lily's eyes were wet with tears once again by the time she had finished decoding the bouquet's message and a moment later, a voice called out-
"Lily."
Lily turned around and placed her hands on her face, gasping with a happy smile as she looked at Severus as he stood in the doorway.
Severus spoke first, the words he had tried to say for a long time spilling from his lips, "I don't care if our child has a muggle name. I don't care if we have this child or ten children or no children at all. I don't care if we raise them in my world, your world, or under a bridge. All I care about is being with you…...Lily." Severus confessed.
Lily laughed happily and tried in vain to stem the flow of her tears.
Severus watched her as he finished his declaration, "...I love you."
"I love you too, Sev!" Lily cried.
At Lily's cry, Severus rushed forward and embraced her, kissing her softly and sweetly until her tears stopped flowing.
When they broke apart, both of their hearts were pounding in their chests as Lily giggled, "You probably overpaid for the balloons, love."
"It's my first Valentine's Day." Severus shrugged.
"...And you did wonderfully." Lily sighed happily.
Severus was going to say something else, but he couldn't resist leaning in when Lily kissed him once more.
Later that evening, while they happily snuggled together in bed to keep warm, Severus thought to himself after Lily fell asleep, her belly full of chocolates, pickles, their belly.
Valentine's Day was Severus's new favorite muggle tradition~.