Hellomynameisnifandihavenotsleptin37hoursandfinishededitingthischapterfueledonblackcoffeeandthesunrise(hotlikerhondadoublepointstowhoevergetsthatreference)goodmorningandgoodluck!
Woo, ok, I'm fine. Sleep is for the weak, I'm totally fine.
I wanted this chapter out on Sunday but it's Monday morning now. I'll still count it as Sunday because I haven't gone to bed yet. Oops.
Anyway, it's about time to shake some sense into our girl, don't you agree?
Call in the hounds (that means you, Ginny.)
Harry grumbled in his sleep, hand feeling out unconsciously until it reached the warm body of his wife. He slipped his hand across the smooth skin, over a waist and up until-
Harry's hand was suddenly, and very painfully, smacked by another.
"Harry Potter, what the hell are you doing?"
Harry's head jerked up,
"Huh?" He mumbled, looking down at his wife's blurry brown hair. Wait. Harry grabbed his glasses off the bedside table, almost poking himself in the eye as he jammed them on his face. He looked down, staring into the red, round eyes of Hermione Granger.
"Ah!" he shouted, shooting back across the bed as he realised he'd been only moments away from groping his best friends' breast. Harry teetered for a moment, trying to snag the covers with his hand unsuccessfully as he toppled backwards, arse first out of bed.
He landed with a thump and stared up, legs still hanging over the mattress as both the heads of Hermione Granger, not his wife, and Ginevra Weasley-Potter, definitely his wife, popped over the edge looking at him.
"Harry, what are you doing?" asked Hermione.
"I- blimey, Hermione, I almost…"
Ginny sniggered,
"Trying to feel up other women in your sleep, husband o' mine?"
Harry blushed a deep scarlet red that would put any Weasley to shame.
"Well, I… I bloody thought she was you, didn't I?" He stuttered, looking up at them.
Both women giggled at him.
"What are you doing in our bed, Hermione?" Harry asked, rubbing his eyes. "Again."
After the almost-groping Hermione, Harry and Ginny decided to relocate to the sitting room. Tea was made, and Hermione sat on the armchair while Harry, bleary-eyed and rumpled hair, yawned from the sofa.
"So, you've realised you have feelings for Malfoy?" he said, "and now, what? You don't know if you want to be with him?"
"Yes… Sort of… I don't know… No?"
"No, you don't like him, or no, you don't want to be with him?" Harry rubbed the sleep out of his eyes despite having more rest than either Ginny or Hermione. He had already been in bed when Hermione arrived. Ginny had let Hermione cry herself out on the sofa while trying to explain what had happened, but it had mostly condensed down to 'I liked his bird'. Ginny had dragged the exhausted witch to their bed and told her they would talk in the morning.
Hermione frowned, "Neither?"
It was morning now, and she was less than enthused to have this conversation.
"You've lost me."
"She thinks she's screwed it up." Ginny's muffled voice entered the room. The witch carried a plate of crumpets, sitting them on the coffee table and taking the one she was holding with her mouth in her hand. "but clearly you like him, and he likes you so-"
"Ginny, you've barely even seen us together. How could you possibly know that?" Hermione's voice was petulant, sharp and bordered on rude as she snatched a crumpet off the table. Ginny's eyes narrowed as Hermione nervously bit into the buttery goodness, for someone who had just bed-crashed she was being antagonistic. She just didn't want to have this conversation.
"Oh, I see how this is going to be." Ginny set her jaw, meeting Hermione's stubborn look. "I'm getting Padma."
"What-"
"You heard me!"
"Ginny, don't!" Hermione pleaded, abandoning her crumpet. "It's so early-"
"She'll be awake."
"But-"
"No." Ginny was pulling shoes on by then, an old cloak already shoved over her pyjamas. "You're getting the full intervention."
"I don't need one!"
"You do." Ginny said, "In fact, I think it's well overdue."
Ginny was gone, stepping into the floo before Hermione could stop her. She flopped onto the sofa and groaned. There would be no escape now, even if she dared be enough of a coward to flee through the floo.
"Crumpet?" Harry offered.
Hermione munched unhappily on the food while they waited for Padma to arrive. Sometimes she missed only being friends with the boys. Harry and Ron's versions of emotional conversations were exceedingly limited, their complex emotion language combined could fill a teaspoon. Ginny, on the other hand, thought it was important to voice emotions. Hermione had liked it when Ginny had forced Harry out of his shell after the war, she'd coaxed him into processing his pain and survivors guilt. She was less enthused when Ginny turned it on her.
"He has feelings for you." Padma stepped out of the floo, barely waiting before she crossed her arms over her chest and tutted at Hermione. "If he's not in love with you already then he's most certainly on the way."
"Ha!" Ginny followed through the floo, catching the last part of Padma's conversation.
"Padma!" Hermione said, "How can you say that?"
Padma shrugged. She took a crumpet offered by Harry. She'd obviously been awake when Ginny arrived, already well-groomed and dressed in tailored robes.
"Ginny said you're being stubborn." Padma sat across from her, "Are you going to pretend you don't have feelings for Malfoy?"
"That's still so weird," Harry mumbled. He received three looks that had him curling up with the crumpet plate as he gulped, "Sorry."
"No." Hermione sighed as she looked back at Padma. "I know it's weird, but I do. I really like him."
"Finally," Padma muttered.
"But you don't want to be in a relationship with him?" Ginny confirmed.
Hermione's heart clenched. It's not that she didn't want to be with Draco. She wanted desperately to feel him touch her again, to kiss her, to press himself against her skin. She wanted to be able to snog him on the steps of St Mungo's and wake up every morning in the sunlight, watching his blonde hair glow in the light.
What she didn't want was the crashing and the burning and the excruciating pain when they came to the inevitable end. She didn't want to feel the pain of him being gone from her life, only for him to linger when they had to raise a child together. She didn't want to see him with another woman, living a life they had failed to create.
"I can't." Hemione said, "We can't. It won't work, Ginny, I just know it will end terribly."
Ginny pursed her lips and exchanged a look with Padma. Padma let out an annoyed huff. She stood up, pushed Hermione's knee so she could sink onto the sofa next to her and smacked her arm.
"Alright, Granger, listen up," she said, voice firm and authoritarian. "We've been gentle the last few months. I was hoping we could lead you to the water and you'd work it out from there, but apparently, you're too damn stubborn."
Hermione lifted her head off the back of the seat, she frowned as she looked at Ginny and Padma. The redhead's eyebrows were tense, and she had no pity in her eyes anymore. Padma laid one hand on Hermione's arm.
"Consider this your dose of tough love." Padma cleared her throat, "You are denying your feelings about Malfoy, and the fact that you want to be with him because you have unresolved feelings about Ron."
Hermione gapped at Padma. Then Ginny, who shrugged, and Harry, who avoided her gaze by staring at the holes of the last crumpet.
"I-what..." Hermione stuttered; her pitch high as she squawked "I bloody well do not have unresolved feelings for Ronald."
Padma raised an eyebrow,
"I'm not saying you're still in love with him, but I don't think you've fully processed the end of your marriage. Not really, you've stuffed it down and thrown yourself into work and ignored what happened."
Ginny was nodding along with Padma's assessment.
"I've moved on from Ron, I didn't even read that stupid article about his baby. Why would this have anything to do with him?"
Hermione glared at Padma, but it didn't seem to faze her. She was too logical to be swayed into submission just from one of Hermione's glares. She tried to aim it at Ginny, but that similarly was rebuffed. Harry looked like he wanted to melt into the sofa when Hermione looked at him.
"Hermione, Ron cheated on you," Padma said, forcing Hermione to look at her again. "I know that all got a bit swept under the rug and personally I don't think you've ever really dealt with how much that hurt you."
"I don't have feelings about Ron anymore!" Hermione threw her hands up, exasperated by this ambush of a conversation. "I barely even think about him. I realised pretty quickly that I was better off without him. No offence."
"None taken, I agree." Ginny shrugged, "But cheating, especially leaving you so abruptly like that, it leaves scars, Hermione. I know you've moved on, and I'm very proud of you for it but don't you think it could be affecting the way you are reacting to Malfoy?"
"No. They're completely different situations."
"Really?" Padma leant forward, "So you're not having a hard time trusting Malfoy because Ron, the man you loved and your best friend, cheated on you, got another woman pregnant and left you without so much as a conversation?"
Hermione bit her lip. No, she thought, no, they weren't right. Ron didn't hurt her anymore; she didn't care about him. She'd handled Lavender giving birth with relative ease, she'd been far more concerned about her relationship with Draco. You mean when you presumed he was flirting with another woman, a little voice reminded her harshly.
"No?" Hermione whispered, but she felt her face going white.
"And you didn't jump to any conclusions about Astoria?" Padma asked.
"Well," Hermione licked her lips nervously, "but he said-"
"I know what he said." Padma nodded, "and it was dick-ish, but you walked away, Hermione. Rather than communicate with Malfoy about what he said, you presumed you knew his motives and left."
"I-"
"I know Ron never talked about his emotions, and you had to guess what was going on in that thick head of his all the time." Ginny came to sit on the other side of Hermione, barely fitting the fourth person onto the two-seat design. "but you're not with Ron anymore."
"Have you ever asked Malfoy about his feelings?" Padma asked,
Hermione's head swivelled to look at the woman.
"I-"
"Or did make up your mind before he had the chance," Ginny said, making Hermione swing her head again. They were talking too fast now, rolling off one another before Hermione could really process their words.
"He had a chance." She stuttered.
"Because-" Padma grimaced a little as she looked at Ginny.
"Sometimes, Hermione..." Ginny returned the look.
"You go into your head. You make decisions without actually asking for input."
"I ask!" Hermione yipped. She asked. She tried to ask. It was just that, most of the time, she never got replies. Ron had always told her to 'just do what you think is best', he never wanted to organise anything, to take responsibility. Hermione had just adapted to taking charge, it was easier than trying to needle any answer out of Ron. Most of the time that just ended in an argument and them not speaking for days at a time.
"And we don't blame you," Padma said, giving her a gentle smile.
"You had to with Ron." Ginny said, "Bloody idiot of a man."
"Right." Padma nodded along, and Hermione swivelled her head back, her neck hurting as she tried to keep up. "He's kind of a git when it comes to emotions.
"Hey." Ginny's tone dropped into a warning, "That's my brother."
"Sorry."
"But she's right. Instead of talking to you about his emotions, Ron left you. With a bleeding note."
Hermione frowned, she couldn't keep trying to watch the women talk. She stared at her knees, trying to work through the information pile that she was now buried under. Ron left her without so much as a 'sorry, it's not you, it's me', and Hermione had adapted however she could. She moved on, quickly, and took charge of her own life. She'd tried to heal by not lingering on what Ron had done but was that the wrong thing to do? Had she stopped dealing with her pain and just started taking it out on others? She hadn't even been that surprised when she saw Draco talking to Astoria, hurt but unsurprised that a man might leave her for another woman. Hermione chewed on the inside of her lip anxiously. As she worried at it, she could taste the bitter copper of her blood. Padma laid her hand on Hermione's shoulder, still talking.
"You never got closure."
"You're used to making decisions alone."
"Alright!" Harry said, interrupting them. "I think she'd got the gist."
Hermione was staring at her knees with a deep frown on her face. Padma and Ginny both pulled back, realising they might have been a little intense.
"Are you alright, 'Mione?" Harry asked, leaning over to pat her knee.
"Just… uh, processing," Hermione mumbled.
Had she steamrolled Draco into just going with her decisions? She had asked him if he wanted to be more than friends hadn't she? Hermione chewed on her lip, trying to remember. Had she actually asked what he wanted… or just suggested they should be friends and asked if he agreed. 'As you said, it's for the best.' That's what he told her when she'd asked if he agreed they should be friends. Would his answer have been different if she'd asked him if he wanted to be something more than friends?
Hermione shook her head. If Draco did want something, why didn't he just say so? Communication was a two-way street. Hermione had obviously faltered, maybe she'd talked herself into a corner and convinced herself they should only be friends before she had gotten Draco's side but why couldn't he just tell her if he had feelings for her? Hermione stood up sharply.
Had Hermione just missed the signs and come to the wrong conclusion? She had been struggling with her feelings for Draco for days, trying to re-convince herself that anything with Draco would end. End just like it had with Ron, only now, Hermione was even more afraid because the feelings she had for Draco were different. They were stronger, she realised. Hermione had believed herself in love with Ron because that is what everyone had told her she should be. No one in their right mind had thought to push Hermione towards Draco, but now here she was, smiling like a giddy school at his letters and flailing nervously whenever he was around.
What if Hermione and Draco could work for the same reasons she hadn't with Ron? What if rather than ripping them apart the intensity of their feelings could keep them together. Their feelings… Hermione chewed her lips again, she didn't know if there were any their feelings. There were her feelings and the potential feelings she had never asked Draco about. Did he feel the same about her?
She needed to know.
"Hermione," Harry said startled, "Everything alright?"
"I, uh… I have to go." Hermione didn't look at her friends as she threw floo powder into the small fire and called "Malfoy Manor!"
She needed to talk to Draco.
Hermione looked around the reception hall of the Malfoy Manor, it looked much quieter than the last time she had been there. She'd arrived, stepped out of the floo and instantly begun questioning her sanity. What was she doing? She should have owled or something. Anything. She'd just arrived unannounced and was now standing there, no idea how to find Draco in the large house.
To her surprise and horror, the man himself walked past the doorway just as Hermione was about to call for Misty. Draco was clearly not expecting guests, he walked steadily past the opening without looking up at her. Hermione winced, then watched as Draco stopped suddenly. Almost comically, he took a step back into the doorway and stared at her.
"Hi." She waved a hand in his direction, lamely.
"Hermione?" Draco blinked, clearly confused with a coffee mug hanging in one hand. "What are you wearing?"
Hermione looked down. She was still wearing the pair of pyjama's Ginny had leant her. An old Harpies jersey and shorts. Her bare feet were covered in soot.
"Uh, it's a long story."
"How did you even get in here?" Draco was staring at her. His hair was messed, and his pyjama bottoms hung loosely off his hips. Hermione tried not to focus on his bare chest.
"I floo'd," Hermione said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She needed to keep up the momentum, she had to get this out before she tucked tail and ran. "I-"
"The floo's are locked," Draco said.
Hermione paused, finally stopped rocking and pointed to her stomach,
"Baby Malfoy, remember, big ward breaker in the oven."
"Oh," Draco said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Right."
"Sorry," Hermione said, suddenly realising. "It's early. You were in bed. This was a bad idea."
Hermione bit her lip and turned to leave, tail firmly tucked and ready for her to run. This had been stupid; Draco was in his pyjamas for goodness sakes. She was in pyjamas, and not even her own. Hadn't she awoken enough people for one morning? It was the middle of the week, people had work and lives to get to without her barging into people's homes with her grand emotional outbursts.
"Wait," Draco said, "Hermione, is everything alright? Did something happen?"
"No." Hermione let out a breathy laugh. Nothing had actually happened. Maybe she'd had her self perspective flipped on her head, but that was a bit hard to explain. She rested a hand over her stomach. "I'm fine, we're fine."
Draco nodded slowly.
"Are you sure? You seem…" He studied her face, then her clothes and her feet.
"I just, ah," Hermione twisted her hands together, "I wanted to apologise for yesterday. I was weird."
Draco lifted an eyebrow like 'weird' was an understatement.
"I didn't mean to seem standoffish." Hermione said, "And I do like your bird, but that was weird too. Um, but I mean… Merlin."
Brain meet tongue. Please learn to work at the same level. She was rambling again, just trying to put words together. She really should have thought about what she was going to say before she stormed over here.
"Did I steamroll you?"
Draco frowned,
"Steamroll?" he said the word slowly like it was alien to him. Quite possibly, it was.
"Did I just… make decisions, and you agreed to them?"
"Oh," Draco shuffled, "no?"
"You don't seem sure." Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.
Draco only stared at his coffee cup.
"Let's…" he hesitated. "Are you hungry?"
Hermione snorted, she wasn't right now. Right now she wanted answers, but when Draco held out an arm to guide her to the kitchens, she let herself be directed down the long corridors of the Manor. As they reached the kitchen, Hermione turned to find Draco pulling a shirt over his head. He must have summoned it while they were walking. Though he was no longer half-naked, the tight material didn't precisely distract from his impressive form. Despite sleeping together, this was one of the first times Hermione had ever seen him in the light.
He was well built, lean and strong. Veins travelled closely under the skin of his arms, and Hermione caught sight of the faded mark on his left arm. The Dark Mark, it's remnants still present on his skin even after the years. It had faded to a pale red-tinted grey, but with Draco's complexion, it was still evident. Nothing would ever remove it either, there would always be the mark of his past. Hermione knew Draco always wore long sleeves, usually in robes and a well-tailored suit. Most likely, he did not wish to draw any more attention to the stain. He had risen well in the eye of the public, but reminders like that would quickly have people doubting.
Noticing her gaze Draco shifted, folding the arm against his chest protectively.
"Coffee?" He asked, "or tea?"
Hermione shook her head,
"No, I'm fine. I just, I wanted to ask you something."
"At," Draco looked at the clock, "seven in the morning on a Wednesday?"
"Yes." Hermione said, "I had an… well; it's not exactly an epiphany if someone forces you to see sense is it?"
Draco only blinked. Hermione wondered if the man was capable of much this early in the morning, he still seemed dazed at her presence.
"Padma and Ginny had a bit of an intervention." Hermione tried explaining.
"At seven in the morning?" Draco looked forlornly at his cup, and instantly it began filling, dark coffee pouring from nowhere. Misty must have been around then. Hopefully, if he drank some, he would be less fixated on time.
"Oh gods, yes, Draco at seven in the morning." Hermione huffed, "I'm trying to have a kind of important moment here."
"Right." Draco grumbled, "Padma and Ginevra had an intervention… about me?"
"Yes, sort of… mostly about me," Hermione frowned, she'd run out so quickly she was still trying to process everything. "and Ron."
Draco coughed into his coffee.
"The Weasel?" He gasped, slamming the cup back down onto the counter and cursing as it sloshed over the edge and onto his hand. "Fuck."
"Are you alright?" Hermione asked, reaching for him.
Draco flinched back.
"I'm fine." He snapped, turning to the sink and running his hand under some water. "So the Weasel is back in the picture then?"
Hermione started pacing, barely hearing Draco words over the running water. She was still trying to catalogue her new thoughts, swinging her hands in front of her, she began jabbering.
"Right. See Ginny and Padma were trying to tell me I had unresolved feelings, and that was why I was doing all this so poorly. Our communication is clearly terrible, I mean I'm snapping at you then I'm running away, but we flirt by letter which just makes me all the more confused. And then I made these decisions, but really, I don't think I ever asked you if you were ok with it, I just sort of decided what was for the best with the baby and me and how insane that whole thing is."
"Granger!" Draco had to raise his voice for Hermione to look up.
"Huh?" She said, "Draco, I'm trying to tell you something."
Draco was drying his hand with a small towel, scowling at the kitchen counter. His eyebrows knitted tightly together as his eyes bore into the marble.
"I get it." He said somewhat calmly then snapped and growled, "Actually, I bloody don't. What could you possibly be thinking?"
Hermione flinched at his tone,
"Thinking?" She said, confused about his turn, "I was thinking I wanted to get my feelings out in the open. I don't want to end up with a kind of relationship I regret when I think there is potential for so much more."
"Oh, great." Draco snapped, throwing the towel back into the sink. "More? Do you seriously think there is anything more to get out of that? Wasn't the first time enough, Hermione? What the bloody hell could Weasel-bee offer that is so good you'd go back to him?"
"Nothing!" Hermione shouted, "I'm trying to move on, Draco. I'm aware that I've had issues because of Ronald, but I am trying to work through them now-"
"Work through them?" Draco was shouting now, "How are you going to work through him having a child with another woman when you are pregnant with mine!"
"What? Look I know it's pretty fucked up, Malfoy, but I think I can deal with more than one emotion at one time." Hermione was pacing again, she'd wanted to come and have a calm adult conversation with him, but it was quickly going off the rails.
"So what? You're just going to process his betrayal while crawling back into bed with him?" Draco ran a hand through his hair and looked at Hermione with a horrified look like he'd never seen her before and it disgusted him.
"That is disgusting! Why are you saying this?"
"Why are you going back to that bastard, then?" Draco pointed at her like she was the mad one in this conversation.
"I'm not!" Hermione threw her hands in the air, confused and angry by Draco's attitude. She had come here to tell him she had feelings for him and now she was being accused of what, going back to Ron?
Draco stopped shouting and frowned at Hermione, "You just said you were."
"No."
"No, you're not going back to him or no, you didn't just say you were?"
"Both!"
"I asked you if he was back in the picture-" Draco rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably and let out a breath as he looked at the ceiling.
"Why would you ask anything so daft?"
"I-" Draco slumped, "Fuck. Hermione, what is going on?"
"I have no idea." Hermione leant against the counter, the energy quickly draining from her.
"Why are we fighting?"
"Seriously, I have no idea," Hermione said, her hands outstretched in confused annoyance.
They stood in silence for a few moments until Hermione straightened up and sighed,
"Look, can we just start over?"
Draco looked dubious. Hermione pulled out her wand and cleaned up the spilt coffee. Picking up Draco's mug, she handed it to him.
"Hi." She said, "Sorry to call in on you so early, Draco, please drink your coffee. I have something to discuss about our relationship."
"Wait, what? Our relationship?"
"Shut it." Hermione frowned at him, "Drink your coffee and go with it. We will communicate like adults if it's the last thing I do."
Draco gulped his drink, sputtering as he took too much of the steaming liquid. Hermione snorted, but Draco waved her off.
"Dearest Hermione," he said through sputtering, "what a pleasure to invite you into my home this early morning. Pray, what is it you wish to discuss?"
He rolled his hand at her with a little flourish and Hermione snorted,
"Are you going to curtsy too?" She smirked, "No, sorry, adults."
Draco smirked back over his mug as he drank more coffee. He looked a little more lively now, but Hermione wasn't sure if it was because of the coffee or the shouting.
"I came to ask you if I accidentally pressured you into accepting us only being friends. If I had asked you before I told you what I wanted, would you have wanted something more?"
Draco's eyes widened, and he set the coffee cup down.
"Hermione," he said softly, "what is this about?"
"I just need you to answer the question, Draco."
"I think I need to know what this is about." He said stubbornly, and Hermione let out an annoyed breath.
"Please," she took a step forward. "Do you see me as a friend or something else? I just need you to answer."
Draco gulped, he appeared to be struggling with something for a time. Hermione let him think, hoping if she didn't interrupt he would work out whatever was going on in his mind and be forthright with her. Regardless of the outcome, Hermione just needed to know.
Rubbing his neck again Draco looked at the floor and spoke quietly,
"When I was in France, there were a bunch of old businessmen. We'd go out for dinner, trying to butter then up with Armagnac and fine dining. Stingy businessmen, but they were all family men in the end." Hermione had no idea why he was telling her this, but she remained silent, waiting for her Draco to continue. "They kept trying to ask me if I had someone, a wife or a partner but we're not together, and you don't tell men you just met you knocked up someone you hated in school."
Hermione snorted, and Draco smiled at her. She understood the feeling, she had no idea how to tell people she was expecting a child with Draco Malfoy of all people but not to worry, they were going to be friends. It was a mess.
"I had to sit there," Draco continued, "and listen to them rambling on about their wives and then lie whenever they asked if I had someone. I had to tell them I wasn't interested in dating when realistically a woman was waiting on me to come home who is pregnant with my child and who I am absolutely mad about."
Hermione's breath whooshed out of her. Mad about her. Draco was mad about her.
"Oh," was all that she could say.
Draco finally looked up to meet her eyes. Hermione stared into his grey eyes and realised what a fool she had been. So terrified of starting something in case they got hurt that she didn't realise she was bleeding them both dry from trying to keep them apart.
"So yes, Hermione, if you need my honest answer. I don't want to be your friend, I want to wake up in your bed every morning and learn how you eat your eggs and hold you…" he trailed off, clearly unsure if he'd said too much, "And if you tell me you like my bird again, I swear I'll-"
"I like you." Hermione said, "I like you as more than a friend. I do like Apollo but what I meant was, getting your letters is the highlight of my day. You make me smile even when you're not here."
Draco took a step toward her, now close enough for him to cup her head in his hands. Hermione lent into him, his warmth and solid body reassuring and exciting her. Draco brushed his thumb against her lips. They parted softly, and Hermione felt herself melt into his touch. It was everything she had missed and everything she was terrified to lose.
"Draco," she whispered.
He was staring intently at her lip.
"I have a confession." He whispered, eyes still watching her lips as she spoke.
Hermione frowned, parting her lips in confusion as Draco spoke again.
"I've had feelings for you for a while, far longer than the Speck has been around."
"What?" Hermione said incredulously.
"I've watched you through the years, all those banquets and galas. Through those dinners and speeches, I'm not sure when but I started paying more attention to you than to anything else or what anyone was saying." Draco's grey eyes looked up to hers, nervous and unsure now like he was revealing so much more of himself than he'd planned or was comfortable.
Hermione let out a small tittering laugh,
"Draco," She hesitated, "We hated each other in Hogwarts. Now you're telling me you've had a crush on me for years?"
Draco's face paled at the mention of their Hogwarts years.
"I know, trust me, I am aware of how insane it sounds. And it didn't start in Hogwarts, back then I was..." Draco's jaw clenched, and he paused before speaking again. "It started a few years after the war when I started going to the charity functions for Malfoy Industries. You were always there, Weasley never attended with you, and I couldn't help myself, seeing you was the highlight of my night."
Hermione gulped,
"So," She said, "I guess we have Blaise to thank for that. He's the reason you started attending, wasn't it?"
Draco snorted,
"Please don't ever tell him that but yes, I suppose so. I had no idea when I hired him, it would turn my world upside down and land you in my grasp." Draco sighed, "I didn't want to watch you, I thought I was going mad at first. You were the know-it-all Gryffindor princess I hated for so many years, I was cruel and bigoted towards you. I thought it was some kind of strange self-destructive wish drawing me to you, tempting fate to crush me with regret for who I was. I never thought I would have a chance with you. I was quite content to watch you from afar."
"What changed?" Hermione whispered.
"I saw you on my balcony, skipping the speeches." Draco said softly with a small shrug, "And I don't know why, maybe it was the champagne, but I decided to take a chance. I honestly thought you'd throw an insult at me, maybe a quick hex and then it would be over. I could go back to nursing my crush from across the room, and you'd keep on thinking of me as the ponce who deserved to be punched in the face by the third year."
Draco cocked his head slightly to the side, eye narrowing as he watched her face in delighted confusion,
"But you didn't. You took my hand and followed me into the Gala like it was nothing." He said, thumb stroking against her cheek like he didn't believe she was real. "Why?"
It was Hermione's turn to be confused.
"I have no idea." She smiled, "You were so raw and open that night, it just stood out compared to all the people inside with their stiff talk and bullshit attitude. You were out there, avoiding them and just being yourself. You offered an escape, to just enjoy myself when I'd held myself back for so long. I'm not sure why I decided to trust you, but I don't regret it. Not any of it."
"Hermione," Draco sighed, "I don't deserve you. Maybe you're right about being friends, after everything that I did. With all our history…"
"Shut up." Hermione cut him off, "Draco Malfoy, you are a good man. You've changed a lot since we were children, I don't want to rehash any of that. What's done is done. You've proved to me you're a good man long before I followed you off that balcony. You changed long before you thought it would impress me and you did it for yourself, that is the most important part. You changed because you knew you could and you knew it was right. If I didn't truly believe that I would never have taken your hand that night."
Draco held her head softly in her hand, she lifted one hand and pressed her hand over his. He looked down at her, thumb still stroking gently across her skin.
"Please kiss me now," Hermione whispered, desperate to feel his lips against hers. It had been over a month since she'd last touched him like this. She had desperately missed the connection she felt with him.
Draco leant to her then hesitated.
"No." He said finally, and Hermione almost let out a heart-wrenching sob right there. "Not yet."
Hermione furrowed her brow; she didn't understand, and she didn't want to wait. She needed to have him, to know him once more.
"What do you mean 'not yet'?" she asked slowly, terrified he would rescind his words and tell her he didn't want her anymore.
"We're going to do this right." He said, "We've rushed this twice already, and both times you've gotten scared away."
Hermione shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't lose him, she needed to tell him how much she'd longed for him. For him to sit on the sofa with her and wear colourful socks and send her sugar quills.
"Draco, no. I won't-" she said, but was cut off again by a shake of his head.
He pulled her closer to him.
"I'm going to do this right, Hermione. We're going to go slow. We have time." He said calmly, and with a small stroke of her cheek, he kissed her lightly on the forehead.
"Slow?" Hermione asked in confusion. She was trying to wrap her head around his meaning.
"Yes." He said, "I'm going to take you on a date, walk you home and maybe I'll kiss you goodnight."
Hermione looked up at Draco and found him watching her with a small smirk. He dropped his hand away from her face and gently claimed her hand.
"Then I'll take you a second date and impress you with all my knowledge of the books you like. Maybe after our third date, I'll even let you get to second base."
Draco winked at her, and she guffawed.
"But…" Hermione said, letting herself get tugged forward and finally leaning her head into his shoulder. "I really want to kiss you now."
She felt Draco shrug,
"Too bad," he said, "I don't kiss until after the date. I'm very polite and proper like that."
Hermione snorted,
"Draco, I'm already pregnant with your child."
"I know." He said, he tipped her chin back and looked at her with soft eyes. "That's why I want to do this right. I've gone backwards so far. I adore you, Hermione. You're going to have our child in six months, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have to woo you."
How did you like our mini Harry POV?
Were Pads and Ginny a bit rough or was it about time to shake Hermione out of her life-is-miserable-love-is-dead trance?
Oh, what's that I hear in the background? Can you hear it coming?
*flufffluffFluffFluffFLUFFFLUFF*
It's back, baby!
Nif ?
Ps. Yes I am having a crumpet craving this week.
PPs. Please feel free to ignore this week's a/n, I am aware they're a little... uh, frenetic.