Tony thought his lowest point was when he listened to his best friend's screams through the comm as he fell from the sky. Racing to reach the twirling metal suit as it fell faster and faster, looking almost like a falling star.

He wondered if any kid made a wish on his dying friend.

Seconds later, he believed his lowest point was the three minutes and 29 seconds he spent cradling Rhodey as the man's chest caved in and he was slowly choked by his own blood. His cowardice prevented him from saying anything, he just stared in shock as he held his limp friend.

It took four EMTs to pull him away from Rhodey's corpse.

He then thought his lowest point was sitting in the hospital waiting room on the phone with Mama Rhodes. Or 'Ma'am' as she ordered Tony to call her now. He sat silently with the shaking phone to his ear, forcing himself to endure Rhodey's grief-filled mother's screams and accusations on how he killed his best friend, his brother.

About five hours ago, he would have answered the phone with a 'hey mom', but now she wanted nothing to do with him. He lost two members of his family today.

When he finally hangs up from Mama Rh- Mrs. Rhodes, he notices two missed calls and two voicemails from May Parker and Happy. He decides to listen to Happy's first since it seemed to have been from yesterday morning.

He wished he hadn't.

Happy's monotone voice filled his ear, explaining his apparently not new love for Pepper and a formal request for Tony to approve him asking her out. Tony sighed and pressed his palms into his eyes, not having the capacity to process anything of that short right now.

But when he listened to May's voicemail from today, he realized Happy's crush on his girl was the least of his troubles.

May's voicemail was not unsimilar to Mrs. Rhodes' call- yelling and accusations. Peter had come home and May took one look at his injuries and accused Tony of hurting her nephew, or at least letting him get hurt, during the 'internship'. She screamed how irresponsible and how horrible a person he was. Tony could hear Peter's protests in the background as May shouted how the kid would never be allowed in his presence ever again.

He didn't know it was possible to lose so many people in one day.

That night, he sat on the roof of the compound and observed the bustling streets of the city below. The taxis that honked nonstop, the fluorescent glow of the store signs, the stench of sewer and piss trying to squeeze through the smell of the multitude of pizzarias. From so high up the colors seemed to blur together beautifully and he didn't know if it was the pretty sight or the three empty liquor bottles next to him that were whispering in his ear to jump.

He stood up, swaying slightly, and let the wind pull its fingers through his sweaty curls and scratch at the cuts on his body from the fight earlier. He didn't know if it was the thick air or his chest injury that was making it hard to breathe, but something in him enjoyed the tickling danger.

He walked along the edge of the roof, his feet flirting with the ledge, and he let fate take over. His eyes closed, his breaths evened, and his mind fogged- he let the wind guide him to the other side of the roof.

Just as he was reaching the corner of the ledge, his eyes shot open as his foot slipped a bit too far over. Luckily, his high alcohol tolerance left him with enough coordination to throw his body to the left, sending his figure crashing to the roof just seconds before he would have fallen to his death.

He lay panting and giggling hysterically while curled up on the cold concrete. The wind seemed to whistle along with him and his limbs shook from the adrenaline. It wasn't long before his giggling stopped as a realization broke through his mental fog.

He would have died twenty seconds ago.

And no one would have noticed.

How long before someone would come looking for him? Everyone was either angry at him, or dead.

Would Pepper come to pack up her stray belongings and see his corpse sprawled on the helipad a hundred feet below? Would Ross come to ask him to sign something and see his brains splattered across the windows? Would Peter disobey his aunt to come get upgrades on his Spiderman suit and see his rotting body, decaying because it had been weeks before someone checked up on him?

But the bigger question- would they even care?

Pepper would probably cry from the shock of it but go running into Happy's arms and forget he ever existed. Ross would probably be overjoyed that he didn't have Tony Stark to get in the way of his plans anymore. And Peter had May, he didn't need another parental figure in his life, considering how bad Tony was at it anyway.

The one person that would have cared is gone. Because of Tony. His best friend is gone and he killed him. For that, Tony deserved to fall off the edge of the compound, have his brain splattered everywhere, and his body decaying for weeks.

Tony didn't even realize that he was in the midst of a panic attack until his chest started burning from lack of air. The dark edges in his vision blended with the night sky and his lightheadedness was just the same as his alcohol haze. He tried the breathing exercises Rhodey had taught him so long ago, but thinking of his late best friend made his chest hurt even more. It wasn't long until he let the darkness crawl over his vision slowly and he passed out.

When he woke up in the morning, it was to a petite hand slapping him in the face.

Immediately all the pains in his body ignited at once and he sluggishly blinked his eyes open. But when he finally recognized the person he closed his eyes again and turned over.

"Get up Stark," Natasha huffed. "Right now is not the time for your games."

Tony felt all the aggression he experienced yesterday return hotly. "Oh yeah, you would know all about that because everything is a game for you. You let Steve escape-"

Natasha rolled her eyes at Tony's anger. "I had to."

"Bullshit," Tony scoffed.

"You're so childish," Natasha said, cuffing him on the ear.

Tony squawked and pulled himself up painfully. "I'm not," he muttered. He immediately started swaying when he stood.

"Yes you are. I did some research on 'Spider-Man' and that kid can't be older than 17. So be upset at me all you want but i'm not the one that endangered the life of a child," Natasha scoffed.

Tony tried to glare but the overwhelming sense of guilt had his face slowly turning into a frown. He wanted to tell her that he didn't mean for the kid to get hurt. It wasn't supposed to be a fight at all. But he couldn't respond. Natasha was right. May was right. He almost got a child killed. If Peter had been just a little bit slower, that huge man would have crushed him. And it would have been all Tony's fault.

Natasha frowned as a multitude of emotions flashed on Tony's face, finally settling on guilt. For once, she decided to take pity on him and ended the argument. She grabbed him by the elbow and started walking inside.

"Where are we going?" He muttered, stumbling slightly.

Natasha had noticed several cuts on his person and he held one of his arms awkwardly. "To get you checked out," he answered.

Tony sighed but continued letting himself be dragged towards indoors. He took one last look at the city below and sighed as he was forced back to reality.

Tony sat on the exam table hours later, waiting for the Shield doctor to bring him his prescription. He had had several cuts bandaged and given a sling for his sprained wrist. The doctor had even given him ice for his black eye which was quickly purpling. He was quietly swinging his feet thinking of yesterday's events when Natasha walked back in the room.

She was quiet for several seconds as she observed his injuries. "How's Rhodey?" She asked finally. She had left after letting Steve and Bucky escape but not without seeing Rhodey fall from the sky. She had no idea what happened after but assumed Tony had caught him.

Tony fought the ice hot grief that choked him suddenly. "He's fine."

Natasha sighed, "Tony-"

"He's. Fine. Don't worry about it," Tony said through gritted teeth. It's not like she could do anything. It's not like she would care. She didn't need to know he had killed another innocent person.

Natasha sighed, able to understand the conversation was over. "Steve's not going to stop," she said into the tense silence.

Tony looked up slowly, a hurt expression on his face. "You let them go, Nat," he said in a small voice. The betrayal finally caught up with him and it was choking him from the inside out.

She shook her head, looking out the window behind him. "We played this wrong."

Tony frowned, "We? Boy, it must be hard to shake the whole double agent thing, huh? It sticks in the DNA," he said hotly. He didn't know what emotion to feel towards her anymore.

Natasha's eyes moved quickly over to his in anger. "Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one goddamn second?"

Tony was quiet as he broke their gazes. He stared at his feet for several minutes, trying to choke down Natasha's words and not let her see how much they affected him. "T'Challa told Ross what you did so they're coming for you," he warned. He didn't mean for it to sound as dark as it did. He genuinely was concerned for her.

"I'm not the one who needs to watch their back," she snarled before stomping out of the room. Tony watched her go and couldn't help but wonder if he lost another person in less than two days.

Just as Natasha walked out, Tony's watch beeped. It was a photo from the Berlin police.

Thanks for checking out my new story, I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think so far!