Ever since waking up in a sewer I'd say I had accomplished more in a short period of time then I ever did my whole previous life. Which was a depressing thought, but not too unsurprising really given the ridiculous world this was.

Instead of marrying and having children the traditional way I seemed to have skipped ahead straight into parenthood, having adopted two new daughters in the form of Tatsumaki and Fubuki.

Then from my acts of heroism I somehow acquired a one hundred billion yen(or dollar) company. Alongside a body capable of splitting into billions of myself to act as servants or that I could utilize to be anywhere, do anything, and learning anything to the point of sheer absurdity. Making my life rather easy in every single possible way.

Yes… but despite the wealth I wasn't about to roll over and live a live of greed and excess, even if it seemed like the most reasonable thing to do for anyone in my shoes.

Actually living in excess was out of the question completely, due to the very convenient and interesting ability for me to acquire new memories from re-absorbed cells that I split off. With that in mind I essentially had the ability to send a few cells to live in luxury and then have them split again to merge back to re-acquire the memories of that time spent relaxing.

Getting rid of my own and any cells desire for comfort and niceties by having some of them already experiencing it constantly, being able to merge them back for comfort. Eliminating my own desire for vacation or personally engaging in that altogether.

There was only one problem I could think of that came up from cells being able to develop memories on their own. Something I talked about a tiny bit with myself when first learning how to use my abilities in the forward.

The ability of a cell to develop into their own identities seperate from the original, which was me. Thankfully that potential probably was also solved by me, my other cells during the first monster attack while a bunch were evacuating civilians.

To deal with that issue my cells came up with a system of special memory logistics cells. Those with the specific purposes of merging then splitting again with other nearby cells to make sure each of my seperated groups were up to date with memories. That way all of me was on the same page.

With so many cells I could've started maybe hundreds of projects to assist and learn about the humanity of this world, but I decided to limit how much I knowledge and projects I would engage in. To do so many things at once would essentially divide up my attention and cell stock in countless probably pointless things, and give me a headache trying to micromanage billions of myself... so I decided to simply it to the moat pressing issues few issues.

So far of my current projects and ideas on what to focus on in regards to dealing with the future threats to humanity plus other minor things, I had decided to hyper focus on five main projects:

Project one, "One Punch Tatsumaki", whereas I would attempt to break Tatsumaki's limiter as a preemptive measure and safety net in case my other projects or actions result in the alteration of Saitama's dream becoming a hero that can defeat monsters in one punch.

Since Tatsumaki was already destined to be one of the worlds most powerful heroes it only make sense to increase her skillset to further deal with anything that may have the potential to actually hurt her. Like a theoretical esper canceling ability or a lucky sneak attack, as an example. Or perhaps successive battles with dragons cooperating with each other. Wether or not a similar situation was likely to happen in this timeline was still questionable, considering the fact that I planned to deal with Psykos before she becomes a psycho wanting to exterminate humans.

...Either way Tats needed a physical boost to complement her powers.

Could add ninja training to that list of things Tats needs to learn. I wonder if I could pay or bribe Flash or Sonic to- Nevermind I forgot, they're children- oh wait child soldiers, yeah I should save them from that village... but can I fight ninjas?

Eh...Gives me another idea for recruitment things. But maybe later-ish.

...

Project two, "Genus", or to put it simply using Genus' mind and skillset to do a variety of things to benefit me and also the world at large.

For myself I was gonna have him experiment with my cells to learn about my biology and to find ways in which he improve my combat ability through modifying my DNA somehow. With my overall aim there being to acquire something akin to a combination of regenerative immortality like Zombieman for my cell fusions, or Golden Sperm. Plus a possible way to supply me with infinitely increasing cell stock through the use of various forms of regenerative food or again biological alteration of myself.

I was thinking of increasing my cell stock like how in those clicker games you can sometimes get an upgrade where you're points increase on their own, like X per seconds or X per minutes, but with cells. As ridiculous and logic defying as it sounded I was pretty confident Genus might be able to do something like that given enough time, and patience.

Although Food was the main focus for now for being a more reliably safe way for me to increase stock naturally with the added benefit of being a way to end world hunger. Although I would most likely use it to sell food for profit at first.

As of now Genus was off working in the newly built and dubbed "Spermatozoon Biological Research Center". Currently working on my assigned projects. Regenerative food types and studying the biology of my cells, so just two simple ones for a start.

Gonna put down a note for something late to think about. Can one cure monsterification or somehow alter the psyche of Mysterious Beings so they don't naturally want to kill humans? Or at least repress the bad thoughts? Food for thought, probably only useful for humanoids though. Will think more in depth on it later when I get in the mood for it.

Science can be a real headache to wrap my head around with Genus, I mean I had a pretty good vocabulary and all but still.

Will write more ideas down later.

...

Project three, "Hero Association replacement". Which encompassed a whole slew of new responsibilities related to the protection of civilians, reconstruction of cities, and other miscellaneous bureaucratic stuff. But first and foremost it would be my own take on an large scale anti-monster fighting force.

For that project I had a rough idea for it overall. Where instead of a monolithic ranked system of heroes that act autonomously I would instead replace and split it into multiple military styled forces, each with separate responsibilities but with a more clear and unified chain of command. Where each I would model each Hero Class into its own unique branch.

I thought that this would be more efficient then a competition based ranking system that promoted infighting between the classes whereas in an actual military there would be an established the chain of command, standard promotions given based purely on time server cooperation, and thus no infighting without serious consequences.

Here's what I had in mind for the military wing, about five different branches and each of them has a specific purpose with their own separately organized responsibilities. The armed wing of the company would of course be called the Spermatozoon Anti-Monster Division, and with it's branches being named as Team S, Spermatozoon Special Forces, Spermatozoon Anti-Monster Army, Sperm Patrol, and the Sperm Militia.

Starting off I was of course going to have my own version of the S Class, but with their title renamed to Team S so it sounded more like a superhero team. Although the S in this scenario for my own amusement would stand for Sperm, or if you want to make it consistent like the other branches then it would be Team Spermatozoon, who's members would essentially represent the same high powered individuals of the original S Class. Most or all capable of fighting demons one on one and sometimes dragons.

These guys would be a more individualized force and have the pretty much free reign to fight monsters as needed, while only reporting to and taking orders from me personally, or any wandering cells that see big trouble. That way I had a mobile high powered and personal support team to fight wild dragons.

Might also give each member of my S Class some authority to order around the soldiers of the military branches at their own discretion.

So the second military branch would be called the Spermatozoon Special Forces, or SSF. Consisting of any high powered individuals that would act in organized groups fighting monsters usually under the direction of a single leader or group of tacticians that decides what their powers would be best suited to fighting. Then under special circumstances they may be ordered to organize together under the leadership of a member of Team S if said Team S member required backup.

I planned something along the lines of equipping the Special Forces with advanced tech or some other personalized gear supplied by Bofoi when needed or requested.

They were pretty much a carbon copy of the Neo Heroes system of heroes with my own alterations here and there to improve, although I didn't want to weaken their ability to grow through struggle due to being given advanced armor, thus some combat groups within it might be allowed more autonomy in their own equipment design or general activities but still with some tactical supervision.

These guys would be a more special fighting force against primarily demon level Mysterious Beings and be sent to them whenever they appeared, although more of a unit that gets sent when the army can't handle something. Special circumstances, as per the name.

Next branch was the Spermatozoon Anti-Monster Army, SAMA, or Sperm Army.

The Army would be larger in numbers then the high powered special forces but have less individual combat capability and autonomy. Their primary role will be that of guarding individual cities against monsters and cleaning up any Tiger through Wolf threats that appear. So they'd be a less mobile force that defends a main region.

Although giving each Hero Class branch and then specializing them against a threat level seemed redundant, I remember from canon that generally speaking most A and B Class kinda had trouble fighting monsters above their weight class. So to be safe I thought prioritizing what they were good at seemed safer then taking a gamble on their individual abilities.

Next up was Sperm Patrol, who had a very catchy name if I do say so myself. The Patrol was more or less a general protection, observation, and all purpose support force with a particular focus on human centric activities and assistance rather then combatting mysterious beings. Although I was thinking they could work against wolfs part time.

So they would be doing more community service, evacuation, rescue, medical assistance, general law enforcement, and other miscellaneous support activities rather then be on the frontline fighting. Alongside they would be reporting any potential threats to the Army so that they could deal with it themselves.

The next one was vaguely like the Army but with a different goal in mind, I call them the Sperm Militia. Basically as the name implies, literally anyone with powers that could at the very least kill a wolf or tiger on their own could get paid to do it if they join them and take calls to fight monsters within a reasonable rate and time frame.

So to give an incentive to the population that was above average to fight monsters but didn't like being commanded around like an expendable soldier. That way I could get randoms to help hunt monsters at their own discretion and pace alongside an organized force. Less restrictive overall but on the flip side they won't get as much company support when fighting as one would in the army, besides backup.

Since all of the branches would be fighting monsters most of the time for the most part I really didn't want them to become celebrities and develop some famous persona that would mess with their combat efficiency. As to avoid the risk where civilians might get hurt wanting to get an autograph from them mid battle, or have the fame detract or distract from their work. So the idea with them being explicitly called an army group it was to make it clear what their purpose and intended use was. Absolutely not heroes fighting for fame, glory, or justice, but volunteer soldiers that were engaged in a never ending war against the enemies of humanity.

You wouldn't ask a soldier for an autograph would you? That was my thinking here, it would be safer for the civilians too.

This particular project was something I wanted to make in order to take the pressure off my back of having to engage in fighting whenever monsters of tiger and demon level appeared. Even though it hadn't happened much yet and wouldn't until some decades in the future it was still a job that would chip away at my cell stock, and possibly result in civilians justifiably expecting me to be everywhere and save everyone.

It was true that I was 'more then one person' by technicality, but having others rely on me specifically wouldn't be a good use of cells, or efficient, or make sense for a human self sufficiency point of view. So... a group to delegate the responsibility of fighting to so I don't have to myself.

Now uh, none of those army branches I monologued about exist or will exist for years, a decade maybe. For two very clear reasons. Monsters were as of yet not appearing in enough numbers for it to make sense just yet.

And two, if I started amassing my own personal army without a reasonable cause then a lot of people might get a bit freaked out. I was still technically a Mysterious Being myself after all, and I really didn't want Blast on my ass because I was preemptively preparing an army before it was actually needed.

Although my rep was good now I wasn't gonna risk it by starting that project early. Once I get enough kills and start to struggle fighting or getting to monster then I pretty much have a free pass, using monsters as the main justification for an army, which it was. Otherwise more years of waiting for disasters to happen... before the civilians get scared enough to let me help out.

Ignoring the military stuff I only really needed to start prepping Team S as of now, BUT yet again a constant problem! Waiting for all the future members to grow, as most were children still. So as for getting the HA replacement project done the todo list was mainly scouting for that superhero squad.

Only Bang and Atomic Samurai came to mine for candidates within age range so I might go and find them soonish. That would also help out the project of increasing Tats skillset too with some sword skills.

Any other S Class that come to mind?

I was also kinda thinking about the white and black ninja pair, Sonic and Flash. Maybe Tatsumaki could get some ninja friends too to help with training.

Yeah, I should see if I can find out the location of the Ninja Village... or wait until Blast puts "Him" in a coma before raiding the village, if I want to be safe against an unknown dragon.

Not sure if I should wait until Flash and Sonic get most of their ninja training in so they actually develop their skills... although that wasn't really a very good childhood to be put through. Should I just go rescue them right after or before?

... Getting them early means Tatsumaki could get some ninja childhood friends too... maybe if I ever find Blast I'll ask him about a cooperative raid and rescue. Honestly Flash and Sonic are probably naturally talented, and there's no reason why I can't just train them myself, if they want it anyway.

Maybe I couldbribe them with adoption. What's a few more adopted children...

Back to one of the previous topic. Recruiting Bang and Kamikaze.

I had a few ideas of ways for possible recruitment, all which included my favorite technique of recruitment, bribery again, but to varying degrees.

Some of those things I might use to bribe being an offering of immortality from Genus, money because I was rich, or just hiring them with an extremely high paying job.

Although I could postpone that till later maybe, I had a different and more ingenious idea that might help out with my current lack of powerful subordinates. Something that would fulfill my own personal amusement and also help me headhunt them faster.

A certain martial arts tournament came to mind to attract strong fighters. Although I might have to rename it and adjust the rules to encompass more fighting styles, I think hosting a general fighting tournament to recruit strong guys from might be a good idea. Cash prize, then a job offer to the highest ranking fighters.

I'll start planning that with the cells pretty soon here.

...

Project Four "Cells for profit" was self explanatory. I had a couple ideas for using my cells to make money. One of which was cheaply renting out my cells for civilian usage as servants or household assistance. In a way to give me eyes and hears everywhere, and obviously to make money fast.

The other idea I had was having my cells work actual normal jobs so a cell group with the power of a normal human might be able to work and get paid a full salary per groups of cells.

This idea was a potential moneymaker but also potentially dangerous, as it exponentially increased the money I made overall but had the possibility to replace entire sections of an industries workforce with me. Resulting in possible mass unemployment unless I bribed the unemployed people. Which might again also cause another bad chain of related events to occur from me supporting a giant non-working population.

Something to consider, I'll test it small scale just to see.

...

Project Five "Robot Army" was simple. Mostly messing around with Bofoi's robots and using them as a supplementary force to the Spermatozoon Army. There wasn't much thought up on that end yet, mostly because I hadn't recruited the guy yet. Though I did plan to do something like a science fair to see if I could attract and recruit a bunch of scientists, as a subtle means to getting Bofoi in. Kinda like my own fighting tournament but for the hyper intelligent people.

Could get Kuseno too as a bonus...

But what about Genos... am I gonna prevent his villages destruction but prevent him from becoming a powerful hero cyborg?

...

You know what yes, so long the future wasn't set in stone I should help try and save everyone regardless of consequences, even if they end up a bit weaker then canon. Not sure if Genos or any of the others would ever forgive me either if they became aware of my future knowledge, yet I didn't do anything.

Gonna have some cells plan out a few things. I'll start headhunting pretty soon.

Back to the current situation at hand, my main focus right now was on Project One, and also raising Tatsumaki and Fubuki like a normal single dad would. Or was it multi-billion dad?

Either way I had just finished making a somewhat decent schedule for Tatsumaki, or at least something vaguely resembling one with all the free time we had.

School and education would come soon, using myself as tutors, but just a few weeks later as I let Tats mental health recover from her experiences in the lab. Though I also needed to distract her mind from wandering back there in idle time, and of course it was convenient that my planned training was a good distraction from that sort of thing!

She did about as well at Saitama's regiment it as one might expect for a ten year old girl that's sat around in a lab for a few years.

I stared at Tatsumaki, who was now lying on the ground limp, her breathes ragged.

"P-please no- no more..." She whimpered.

She didn't make it past 20 for anything... and she pretty much collapsed into the dirt a quarter way through the run. Way to go Tats...

Oh well, gotta start somewhere I guess. Day one was just to test her current level anyway and not actually the program I had in mind. I planned to put her through more realistic training meant for someone her size and body type with a slow buildup, kind of like Darkshine, and not squeeze and pound her like coal until she becomes diamond or breaks, that's be kind of dangerous.

I had a cell pick her up and carry her back to the house. Obviously she wasn't going to be moving for awhile. So she needed to rest, maybe for a few days...

Aside from training there was still a lot on my own mind. So many plans... so many people to talk to... and so much time to do it... and so much time I would have to wait to do it...

...

Wonder what Genus is doing right now, maybe I'll go check up on him. See if he's learned anything yet.

Should also ask him to work on possible specific modifications to me, or if that's possible. Setting him up I didn't quite give him any directions beyond researching me.

Walking through the halls of 'mine' and Genus lab I greeted a few of my cells that were working, cleaning the floors, and a couple carrying some equipment.

Having a cell guide me to his location, I was guided to a room where I seem to have stumbled upon Genus hunched over one of me cells laying on an operating table... doing something to it... uh...

I cleared my throat to announce my presence. When Genus didn't react in the slightest way I just spoke up.

"Yo doc."

Genus turned around, his face obscured by a medical face mask. His eyes raised slightly.

"Oh, hello Black Sperm, the original I presume?"

"Yeah, I was just checking to see how things are going with... the research."

"Splendid actually, your molecular structure is one of the most fascinating things I've ever been able to look at it. I find it especially unique since your body is unlike most other biological life, it is completely lacking in internal organs or any similar traditional skeletal or biological structures. Each of your 'cells' so to speak seam to be highly malleable with a high degree of self sufficiency on their own."

"That... just sounds like a scientific way of saying my body isn't normal."

Genus rolled his eyes. "If you want to put it in simpler terms the. yes. Is there something else you came here for?"

"I had a few more orders, or directions, all of which would apply to the research of my cells. I was wondering about... three things. Firstly is it possible for my genetic structure to be modified or altered, and then have that modification stay within me after merging?"

"With sufficient time I can see what would be able to be done about, although I would require more time and cells to run tests on."

"Done. Secondly, one of my cells told you about my fusion ability right?"

"Yes, another truly interesting ability. Why did you wish to know?"

"I was wondering if a fused cell could be engineered to the ability to be able to defuse or split again post combining."

Genus took off his mask and set down his... scalpel... Before walking to a microscope. "That could be tricky... but it's doable."

"Why?"

"I've already taken a few samples from a fused cell, at the request of one of your other selfs. Your ability to fuse looks to be a very interesting process, but tradeoffs seem to make splitting impossible, especially with higher amounts of cells included in fusing."

"Think you can explain it?"

Genus nodded. "You understand how matter may go undergo transformations with time or change with elemental reactions correct?"

"Yeah."

"Two of your cells fusing is not too dissimilar to the process of carbon matter hardening from intense pressure and forming into a diamond. As your other cells explained it prevents further splitting, however I would rather put it that when a cell fuses with another it interlocks with each other and then hardened to the point where them separating is difficult due to the change in their respective structures density, alongside the fused cells losing some of their malleability. But since these transformed cells can still absorb other ones for themselves I can't quite say if it's impossible to split after the process if the cell still remembers or has the information stored in its DNA to do so. Although that links back to a different issue." Genus held then looked into the microscope.

"Something also of note I found is that fused cells obviously become denser and more tightly packed together as more are merged together. There are two potential problems I see that could make modification difficult at the start. One being the fused cells losing its malleability, and the other being wether a fused cell can relearn it's ability lost in its transformation. But I'm sure I can decipher it within a reasonable span of time."

... uh...I guess that makes sense? Like water getting cold enough then becoming ice... like how ice can be broken into chunks and the hardened pieces can't combine with each other the same as they did when it was a liquid. The ice would need to melt back in order for it to be able to re-combine.

Black Sperm breathed out in exasperation.

Maybe I should just let Genus do his thing, my cells are still me so they should be able to know what modifications we'll need. I don't think my input will be needed beyond orders, since my presence is already here.

Guess I'll go check back on Tatsumaki, see how she's doing, again.

"Okay, that's all then. Good work so far, send back to me a cell when it's done. Okay bye!" Black Sperm said before running out.

Genus moved back to table to the Black Sperm cell occupying it, laying down on its side.

"You know, you're a lot more cooperative then I expected from a Mysterious Being. Many individuals often wouldn't desire to be dissected to learn about themselves."

"I'm just built different."

'Regenerative Golden Sperm, fight Boros, fight God, save the world.' The cell thought.

Clearly Black Sperm was motivated to continue, despite the pain during testing. For the future benefits of this outweighed any and all momentary discomforts he might feel.

"Let's continue then."

"Hey Tatsu, you feeling alright?"

The esper moaned in pain. "... Am I dying?"

"No... you're... getting stronger."

"I feel like I'm dying." Tatsumaki repeated.

"It's just temporary, it'll go away... in a few days. But then after that you'll feel even better then before! Remember, the more pain felt during training the less pain there will be when you start fighting all those big scary monsters."

"Like now?"

Black Sperm pinched her cheek. "Hey! Don't make me throw you back onto the dirt. Just when I was gonna reward you too...!"

"Ow ow! Sorry! I didn't mean it- wait did you say reward?"

"Yeah, a candy apple. Here ya go." Black Sperm promptly pulled out the syrup coated treat and handed it to her.

"Yes, thshank you! Mmmm..." Tatsumaki immediately grabbed and put it in her mouth, she savored the taste.

Not sure why I remembered her liking, though I guess I find it to be something of a fun little tidbit of information. Also is useful for appeasement.

...Alright I've checked on my new employee and esper daughter... hrm...

What do I now- oh right, tournament, guess I'll start making some rough drafts for it with my clones. Should be easy. But do I want to make a hybrid weapons and martial arts tourney or just pure physical? Or two separate tournaments?

Specialization is useful but could be too constraining, I'll just do a DBZ styled tournament where anyone can join without any prerequisite.

Maybe a few less rules and a couple added things on. Perhaps a litte weapons pit in the middle of the arena like in Baki, where fighter have the option to use weapons or not, to make things more fun. And also to see how each fighters might take advantage of it.

Yeah that sounds good.

Big question, do I make my own stadium?

A/N: Hate myself, forgot to save on of the last drafts. Lost a small tidbit at the end of the sperm monologues. Had to rewrite a teensy bit. Sorry of the inconvenience there.