Chapter 8 – The First Memory

It had begun.

The street was dark and the weather was gloomy, but her red hair stood out, like a beacon in the night. She walked with purpose, her strides fast and clipped as she advanced on the house called Spinners End. In her arms she carried a small bundle, the mop of black hair barely visible as she held her child close to her chest to protect him from the rain.

Harry gripped Severus' hand hard at the sight of his mother, the Potions Master squeezed the hand back, silently telling Harry that he felt the same pain.

Harry watched his mother's face come into focus as she rapped on the door. Her high cheekbones and angular eyes reminded him of Narcissa but the colouring was wrong. His mother's face was less pale, her cheeks tinted red by the wind. She has full red lips that almost matched the colour of her hair and of course, those emerald eyes that Harry saw every time he looked in the mirror.

The room was silent as the door opened and Severus' face appeared, pale and gaunt.

Neither said anything as they took each other in. Harry knew from Remus that his mother and Severus hadn't spoken for a few years by the time he was born.

The younger Severus swallowed, shuffling slightly behind the door, almost like he was afraid.

"What are you doing here, Lily?"

Harry leaned towards Severus.

"Why are you hiding?"

"Your mother was quite fierce when she wanted to be." Severus explained chuckling a little.

Harry nodded refocusing on the memory playing before him.

"I needed to see you." His mother replied, her voice high and sweet. Just hearing it made tears stream down Harry's cheeks.

"Needed to see me?! I haven't heard from you in nearly 3 years and you needed to see me?"

Lily nodded, shifting the bundle in her arms.

"Do you mind if we come in? This weather is awful, especially for August." Despite asking Lily strode past Severus into the house.

The younger Severus quickly glanced up the stairs before closing the door and following Lily into the parlour.

It was dusty and dark as lily sat upon the tattered sofa. Seeing her shiver, Severus withdrew his wand and quickly lit the fire, illuminating the room as he sat across from his former friend.

"Why did you need to see me, Lils?"

The old nickname sliding off his tongue before he could stop it.

Lily looked up and smiled gently.

"I needed your help with something. Something important, Sev…"

Severus nodded waiting for her to go on.

"Dibble."

The old house elf that had once been Severus' only friend appeared before the red head.

"Mistress Lily! It be such a long time since Dibble seen you. What can I do for you?"

"Some tea would be lovely."

"Camomile and honey?"

Lily nodded.

"And a bottle for the baby, please?"

Dibble eyes widened as she took in the bundle in Lily's arms.

"Mistress Lily has a baby?"

Lily smiled as she held the bundle down toward the house elf, who drew back the blankets to reveal the small child sleeping face. His black, messy hair belonged obviously to his father but his eyes were shut tight.

"He's beautiful…" the house elf whispered.

"Yes he is. My beautiful little boy."

"What be his name?"

"Harry. After his grandfather."

Dibble gently caressed the child's plump cheek before patting Lily's knee and disappearing.

Through the encounter with Dibble, Severus remained silent although he looked very uncomfortable in the presence of Harry's baby self.

"Potter's spawn I presume?"

"Oh, cut the crap Sev! I know you hate James, but he is why I am here." She gestured at Harry.

Lily took a deep breath.

"Something's coming Sev, something no one is going to be able to stop and I'm worried that if the Dark Lord comes after us, Harry is…"

She trailed off and she held him close. Harry could almost feel the warmth radiating from her.

"What do you want me to do, Lils?" Severus reached over placing a hand on her knee.

She looked at him, tears shining her eyes.

"Keep him safe, Sev. I've left instructions in my will that if anything happens to me, Harry is to go to you or Remus…"

"Not Black?"

"I trust Sirius about as far as I can throw him. No…" She shook her head, "I won't leave Harry with Sirius, he would drop him or something…"

"HEY! It was only once!" Sirius yelled at the image of his mother.

Harry laughed.

"You dropped me?"

"Only once, Prongslet. ONCE!"

Harry shook his head smiling, Sirius couldn't tell him how much he looked like his mother in that moment.

"What are you saying?" Severus exclaimed.

"I'm saying, Sev… that I think me and James are going to die soon. I can feel it. And when…"

"When?!"

"Yes, when not if, when that happens you need to keep Harry safe. Swear it me… please Sev…"

Severus let out a shuddering breath.

"Ok… ok Lily… if, IF, anything happens… I'll make sure he's safe…" Severus' voice was hushed and low as he spoke.

"Thank you…"

There was a long pause as his mother and Severus held hands.

POP!

Both jumped but relaxed when they saw Dibble setting a tea tray down on the table.

Lily went to pick her cup but Harry began to squirm in her arms. Looking down at the precious child who bore her eyes, she smiled.

"And how long have you been awake?"

Harry gurgled happily in response.

Lily sighed.

"I'm dying for a good cup of tea… Would you mind holding him for me, Sev?"

"B-b-but I don't know how? What if I drop him?" Severus sputtered.

Lily rose and stepped over to him.

"You won't. Hold out your arms."

Severus did as he was asked.

Lily placed the bundle gently in his arms, moving his arms carefully as she explained.

"You have to support his neck, he can't do it himself, and the other hand supports his body. There!"

She had made a cradle out of his arms in which rested baby Harry.

"See! You're a natural." She sank back into the other sofa, taking a sip of her tea. "Dibble, you make the best tea."

The house elf bowed low before disappearing once more.

Lily watched as Severus pulled the bundle closer to his body as he gurgled happily, reaching out for his long hair.

"Hello, Harry…I'm Severus…" he whispered, raising the bundle so Harry leant against his heart.

Harry waved his arm as if to say hello back before resting his little hand against Severus' cheek. Cupping the baby's body with one long arm, he covered Harry's hand with his own.

"Don't worry… I'll always be there for you."

As the scene began to darken, Harry could see there were tears in the eyes of many but only Remus and Sirius were openly crying. They mourned the loss of their friends, Harry felt a pain of guilt as he couldn't share in their pain, you can't miss what you never had. But… that memory sparked something in him, a burning desire to keep his family safe… Molly… Arthur… all his brothers… Ginny and now Severus.

Sirius coughed somewhere to his right.

"Well, I always knew you were a good guy, Severus." He swiped tears from his rough cheeks as Remus began to laugh softly.

"You hate him Siri, always have."

"That's true but I don't hate him as much anymore." He shot a small smile in Severus' direction, which he returned with a nod.

"Change a mind… change a heart…" Luna whispered.

"Exactly right, Miss Lovegood." Albus said although he was met with glares that sent him sinking back into his seat.

There were a few moments of silence before Hermione broke the silence.

"Now that's out of the way, we should get back to reading."

There were murmurs of assent from the room and she picked up the book once more.